pregnancy weight gain - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 04-28-2013, 08:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm having a really hard time with pregnancy weight gain/body image.

 

Before getting pregnant I ranged between 131-135 at 5'7, pretty muscular with a medium body frame.

 

at around 8 weeks I shot up to 138-139  with crazy bloating/slowed digestion- it was horrible!

 

Now I'm 14 weeks and 140. That's a total gain of 5-9 pounds depending on where you calculate from... i think i'm going to say it's 5 pounds though because 135 was my higher end I'd be at. 

 

I only want to gain 18-23- pounds total this pregnancy, 159 at the most... I'm vegan and really active and health conscious and the most unhealthy thing I eat is coconut bliss ice cream maybe every 2 weeks. I am having a really hard time with feeling like I'm not in control of my body, and feeling like I'm hosting a parasite rather than a baby... I can't feel the baby move yet and have had limited scans/dopplers so I don't feel a connection at all.... I just feel really fat.

 

help?

 

 

How much weight did you gain at 14-16 weeks?? 

 

For those of you who gained on the smaller side starting from an average weight, how was your weight gain distributed? I figured that in order for me to only gain 18-23 i'd have to not gain any more than 2 pounds until I was like 6 months along. 

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#2 of 24 Old 04-28-2013, 09:34 PM
 
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I can definitely relate to feeling anxiety over the fact that your body suddenly doesn't feel like your own, and that you arent entirely in control of the weight gain/physical changes that happen. And not to be the bearer of bad news, but in my experience it just got worse as the pregnancy went on and more symptoms kicked in. The good news is that I'm not really feeling that way this second time around.

That said, your pre-pregnancy BMI is 20-21% which at the lower to middle end of the healthy, normal range. For women with your bmi, the recommendation is a weight gain of 25-35lbs. Is there a reason you want to gain less than that? Have you looked into the breakdown of where the weight actually goes? (blood volume increase, uterine increase, amniotic fluid, baby, breast tissue etc) Maternal fat stores play a vital role in your ability to establish a successful breastfeeding relationship. A good friend of mine purposely kept herself on a very strict (but healthy--full of veggies and good stuff) diet, but she was slightly restricting her caloric intake and not necessarily listening to her hunger cues. She gained just 17 lbs, but found she was unable to produce enough milk after baby arrived. I know that is a common "excuse" used to push women to formula feed, but i really believe that it was true in her case.

I truly believe that as long as you are consuming healthful, whole foods and not overindulging, your body will gain what it needs to in order to grow and nourish a healthy baby. And learning to let go of a bit of my control-freak tendencies was actually a very good preparation for parenting!

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#3 of 24 Old 04-28-2013, 10:29 PM
 
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Now is the time for you to trust your body to know how much weight it needs to gain. Obviously you've got the healthy lifestyle thing under control. That's all you can do. If you end up gaining 30lb then there's nothing wrong with that. The placenta plus all that extra blood and fluid AND baby weighs a lot! Don't set a goal for yourself that you don't have control over. 

 

At 14-16 weeks I had gained about 5lb. I started my pregnancy overweight at 169lb (I'm 5'3") and I ended up gaining 35lb overall. Even towards the end I was on a VERY strict diet due to gestational diabetes and I still was gaining steadily and more than I would have liked. I had a healthy 6lb 12oz baby.

 

So don't be so hard on yourself. Weight comes off. Just focus on eating healthfully and staying as active as possible and don't sweat the numbers on the scale.

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#4 of 24 Old 04-28-2013, 10:44 PM
 
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I gained 40plus with dd1 and she was over 10 lbs and gained so well from the beginning.... I lost the weight quickly and felt great! Dd2 I gained 22, she was almost 10 lbs at birth and gained very slowly... she fell to the 15% for weight after being born in the 99% I think some of it was her destined body type, but I also think I didn't have enough fat in my milk. I never supplimented and now she is in the75% for height and weight but for a while I was worried. I worked out and ran the whole pregnancy. Ds is 11 weeks now. I gained 16 lbs with him ( I wanted to gain 30 but had to go grain and sugar free the last 6 weeks and lost weight...not ideal) he wss 9 lbs, 6 oz at birth...he is gaining better than dd2, but I still feel he would have done better if I gained more.... he is falling in percentile.

That whole story was to say that there is a benifit to gaining a little more, and if I have another, I hope to gain 30-35. It does come off and it is amazing to see what your body can do. I hope you can get past the body image stuff and embrace your wonderful pregnant body! Good luck.

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#5 of 24 Old 04-29-2013, 12:23 AM
 
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At your height, 18-23 pounds total is very little to gain over a whole pregnancy.

 

I'm only 5'3 and I gained with DD 30 pounds (eating healthy to my fill and exercising until the 8th month). Even if I do say so myself, I looked like a normal pregnant woman with most of the weight around my belly/breasts/hips and not that much everywhere.  I got a lot of comments from strangers that I looked "cute". DD was 8 pounds at birth - 90% for both height and weight. I had a very good milk supply and she gained extremely well after birth. I gave myself 3 months off after the birth to recover and not care about my weight. After that, I had 8 pounds to lose which went away within the next 3 months after I started exercising and watching a bit more closely what I eat.

 

Eating when your hungry until comfortable is important because like the posters before me said, it will affect the size of your baby and your milk supply afterwards. I'm not saying this to scare you but perhaps to shift focus from this short-term weight-gain to the long term: low-birth weight is correlated with health-problems in adulthood.  Plus, if you're not getting enough nutrients, your body will leach them from you and give them to the baby (a reason a lot of pregnant and breast-feeding women get dental and bone problems).

 

If you're exercising within reason and eating a varied whole food diet, your body will gain what it needs to. 9 pounds is a very reasonable amount to gain at 14 weeks and you look like you're on the right track! I think once your belly pops out and you look pregnant, it'll help you shift the focus from the number of pounds more to your shape.. Once I reached the second trimester, I had a lot of fun showing off my pregnant belly and just enjoyed looking pregnant. (Excluding the first trimester) it was the only time in my life I felt 100% comfortable with my shape!

 

ETA: All of the above said, I currently feel "fat" at 8 weeks but replying to you helped me regain focus on what is important here smile.gif

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#6 of 24 Old 04-29-2013, 07:37 AM
 
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I gain a lot weight when I'm pregnant. With DD1 I gained around 50 lbs and DD2 about 40. I was a vegetarian with both those pregnancies as well. I lost the weight quickly after birth. In fact, I lost 30lbs by the time i got home from the hospital with DD1! I do find it depressing though. I was especially upset when my care providers would comment on the weight gain UGH!

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#7 of 24 Old 04-29-2013, 09:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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In other countries that are NOT the US, 25-35 pounds is considered too much weight to gain during pregnancy. 18-23 is completely healthy according to everything I have read, and anecdotally what I have heard from friends in my community who have used the midwife I am using. My midwife gained 19 pounds during her pregnancy (she is 56 with 2 healthy children and has delivered 1600+ babies) and her daughter gained 17, my 2 friends who recently had babies gained 22 and 19 pounds as well-- and all are close to my height/frame and had no problems breastfeeding and have beautiful, thriving babies. 

 

I know for me that the stress/damage it will do to my body/self esteem/energy levels gaining more than that outweighs the alleged "risk" of not gaining enough weight. 

 

If you look at the breakdown of where the pregnancy weight goes.... (from american pregnancy site)

 

 

  • Baby: 7-8 pounds
  • Placenta: 1-2 pounds
  • Amniotic fluid: 2 pounds
  • Uterus: 2 pounds
  • Maternal breast tissue: 2 pounds
  • Maternal blood : 4 pounds
  • Fluids in maternal tissue: 4 pounds
  • Maternal fat and nutrient stores: 7 pounds

 

if your baby weighs 8 pounds, placenta is 2, amniotic is 2, uterus is 2, boobs are 2, blood is 4, fluids are 4- that's 24 pounds right there-- cut out the "maternal fat and nutrient stores" WE DONT NEED THAT. Women naturally already have fat with high DHA content accumulated around our hips/thighs/butt for this reason- I KNOW I DO. I have the traditional hourglass shape, with a smaller waist, and curvy hips. trust me, the fat and nutrient stores are already there!! 

 

so i'll let you know how it goes, I am GOING to gain under 23 pounds and have an extremely healthy baby. mind over matter.

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#8 of 24 Old 04-29-2013, 01:19 PM
 
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I'm like you... was around 135 ish before this pregnancy, eat a whole foods, vegetable based diet, did yoga every day, worked on a farm (so exercising a lot daily) and in my 34th week of pregnancy, I've gained 40 lbs. I don't eat a lot... I eat about the same amount of food I ate before. I still go for long hikes and do yoga, in addition to muscle training exercises (I don't work on the farm now in my 8th month). The only way I would NOT have gained that weight is if I restricted myself from nutrients and calories that I absolutely needed to maintain my healthy, active lifestyle. You are right, the American / Western concept of healthy weight gain between 25-35 lbs is bunk... I know a lot of women who have gained less than that and more than that and were healthy, vibrant and successful at bringing healthy vibrant babies into the world.  HOWEVER you need to respect that if you are exercising properly, and eating properly, your body is going to do what it is designed to do to provide your baby with the most healthy outcome. That MIGHT mean putting on more weight than you want. That's what my body is doing.  In a culture where we drive ourselves mad comparing our body to others and mainstream attractive body images, a huge struggle for me has been to disconnect from that and accept that even though I wanted to not be more than 160 - 170 lbs for this pregnancy (and even that number was an uncomfortable one for me), there is absolutely nothing I could have done to avoid this weight gain WITHOUT being unhealthy (such as unreasonable calorie restriction and / or excessive exercise). I'm working to embrace this weight gain as a trial and lesson from the universe... it was not so obvious to me that I had such strong body image issues until this pregnancy and I'm glad for this time of reflection and learning to embrace my pregnant, 'big' body and to really struggle through and hopefully release these negative body image feelings I am going through in time to pass on such wisdom onto my daughter :)

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#9 of 24 Old 04-29-2013, 03:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YoginiMomma View Post

 

How much weight did you gain at 14-16 weeks?? 

 

For those of you who gained on the smaller side starting from an average weight, how was your weight gain distributed? I figured that in order for me to only gain 18-23 i'd have to not gain any more than 2 pounds until I was like 6 months along. 

 

OK, I'll go ahead and answer this question. I'm 5'3" and pretty muscular/athletic and have an hourglass type shape when not pregnant. I tend to carry my weight in my hips and thighs, even when I'm not pregnant. These fat stores mean that I'm fertile enough to become pregnant, but by no means is it enough to support a growing fetus and then establish a milk supply.

 

First pregnancy--I started off at 115 (BMI 21) 

first trimester (13 weeks) I gained 6 lbs. (By 16 weeks I was up 8 lbs)

second trimester I gained 16 lbs

third trimester I gained 15 lbs,

TOTAL GAIN: 37lbs. I definitely felt like that was more than I really needed to gain, but I was also not very good about watching what I ate or staying very active (hot berry pie with ice cream 3 nights a week? Sure!) Within the first week or two after having DD, I lost 20 lbs but the remaining 17 took a long time to drop (but I had an excellent milk supply! And when I cut calories too much postpartum I noticed a significant drop in milk.) When my DD was 1 I still had some extra weight hanging on, so I took up running and quickly got back down to 115.

 

This pregnancy--I was 115 up until a month or so before getting pregnant, but then I had a crazy work schedule and gained 2 lbs. So 117 starting weight (still 21.4 BMI.)

First trimester I gained 3 lbs (and at 16 weeks I was up a total of 4 lbs.)

second trimester I gained 12.5lbs, roughly a pound a week.

I'm now 32 weeks and have gained around 19-20lbs. I was hoping to keep the total weight gain to 25lbs, but most likely I will continue my pattern of a pound a week which will put me at 28lbs total by 40 weeks.  If I lose the same 20 lbs right away after birth, I think an extra 5-8 lbs will be the right amount of weight to have for the postpartum period. I plan to get back into running as soon as I can be sure that I've established a good breastfeeding routine, and I know from experience that running does the trick for me.

 

I have continued to run throughout this pregnancy, and I also commute everywhere by bike (often with my 30lb dd strapped on the front) and I do yoga once a week. I think my activity level has had a lot to do with my more reasonable weight gain. I've also been much more strict with my diet, as far as allowing for junk or sweets. But by no means am I eating 100% "clean."

 

I believe that if you are very diligent about what you eat and maintain a decent level of activity, you can keep your weight gain on the lower end. I urge you to shoot for 23-25 lbs, though, as 18 is rather low and could cause you more anxiety if you are rigidly attached to that number. In the end, an extra 5 lbs won't make you look like a hippo, and certainly won't be tough to lose after the baby comes.


Married 12/08 to Chilean DH and mama to DD 2/2/10. We're a bilingual home and we familybed1.gif and toddler.gif

 

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#10 of 24 Old 04-29-2013, 07:03 PM
 
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The responses to this thread seem to reflect what I've seen elsewhere, which is that most women gain more with the first pregnancy than they do with subsequent ones regardless of overall attention to health.

It makes me think there's some sort of one-time changes going on that are important and permanent and weighty.

I've gained 30lbs at 27 weeks, but my appetite has recently dropped a lot and weight gain slowed as well-- thank goodness. However-- I do think I could have done much better with diet and exercise, so I only blame myself for some of those extra lbs.

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#11 of 24 Old 04-29-2013, 07:24 PM
 
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With both my pregnancies, I was about 126 lbs (5'6.5"), but probably a lot less of my weight was muscle than yours, as you sound very active.  I gained pretty equally about 25 - 30 lbs with each, without doing anything specific for diet.  With each of them, the weight very easily slid off, and I weighed less after a month of giving birth than pre-pg.  I actually thought I was really sick with something after my first and my weight dropped to 118 and at some point 111.  But really I was just nursing 100% on demand, and not getting enough calories in. And many many women who'd had babies told me that shouldn't happen.  I'm on #3 now, and granted I'm in my 40's, but I started at around 128, and am up to 131 (9th week of pregnancy).  I eat whatever helps me feel not nauseous.  Weight gain is not constant throughout pregnancy either...some weeks, you gain 1lb and some more.  Sounds like you're really concerned about your body image - honestly, I was feeling so nauseous and incapable of doing basic things (like taking care of my existing children) for a couple of weeks, that I was really thinking why the heck did I let myself get pregnant.  It's early in pregnancy, and you'll bond with the baby more as your pregnancy progresses.  But, yeah, being pregnant, you do lose control of your body... the weight, or the heartburn, the bloat (am there now)...the feet swelling at the end...yikes :)

 

Oh and as far as weight gain i other countries, I would imagine, that in some countries (depends which you're thinking of), women have slighter builds and thus would gain less weight.  Also, the recommendations for pregnancy in general, vary so much from country to country depending on culture.  Which is why with my #3, I eat sushi about 3 times a week, instead of not at all like with my 1st.  

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#12 of 24 Old 04-29-2013, 07:49 PM
 
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I am sorry you are having such a hard time.... I remember feeling like that too. I would talk to your midwife about those feelings and maybe ask her not to weigh you and get rid of your scale. I think you should focus on getting super nutrient dense foods and moderate exercise and let go the idea that you can only gain a certain amount. Eat when you are hungry and just make sure you are getting the protien and fiber you need!

Good luck.

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#13 of 24 Old 04-29-2013, 09:19 PM
 
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I gained 35, I love eating healthy and being active.  It melted off PP with BF.  There are a lot of things way more important to me during pregnancy than a number on a scale.  

I used to weigh every day before I got pregnant.  During pregnancy mostly quit weighing myself for the most part at home (still let the doctor do it) and tried to trust my body to know what to do as long as I kept up with being healthy myself.  


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#14 of 24 Old 04-30-2013, 02:33 AM
 
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I just want to say that the numbers I posted are from non-American countries (mainly Europe and the Middle East).  At least in the area of the world were I come from 10-15 kg (22 to 33 pounds) are considered very normal, below 10 kg is considered little. And we're generally not big-built people at all (to avoid confusion I'm not German, I'm from the middle east and  just live in Germany).

 

I think most of us are saying if one gains 18 or 20 pounds naturally (by eating healthy, exercising reasonably and not ignoring hunger) then it's fine, that's what the body needs/wants. But if one gains 18 pounds through calorie restriction and ignoring hunger signals then that could potentially lead to problems. A gain of 18 or even 30 pounds by itself does not indicate anything about the health of the baby or the ability to breastfeed.

 

Please also keep in mind that the pregnancy weight break-down are numbers derived from statistics, an average derived from thousands of women. To a single woman it is at the very most a guideline. If one woman has one pound extra simply because of genetics in each category, she'll be 8 pounds heavier than the one that fits that statistical average. If she were to force herself to keep to those numbers, mostly likely here nutrient and fat store will suffer.

 

I agree with the others, ditch the scale, maintain a healthy lifestyle and trust your body and its rhythms. Best of luck! thumb.gif


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#15 of 24 Old 05-02-2013, 08:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been listening to my body 100% for this pregnancy.... I would never in a zillion years before I got pregnant allowed myself to live on carbs (toast, brown rice pasta, rice cakes, english muffins) for a month !! but it's all I could get down between weeks 7/8 and 12ish when I had morning sickness. I also don't exercise if I don't feel well that day, or if I don't have the energy for it, although sometimes I do push myself to go to the gym because 90 percent of the time I feel way better and have more energy after. I have been eating a balanced healthy fresh nutrient dense diet since the morning sickness went away about 2 weeks ago, and have been exercising regularly-- totally listening to my body. My concern with weight gain isn't shown through extreme actions like overexercising or restricting calories and not eating when I'm hungry-- I totally am listening to my body--- i am just hoping that in doing so my body follows cue and only gains what is absolutely necessary- and i know for my body, with the amount of fat I already have on my hips/thighs, I don't need any "maternal fat stores"!! I am italian/native american with a very fertile body type, child bearing hips, tiny waist... I really don't see any reason, or any reason I'd have issues with not having enough stores for producing healthy breastmilk. I guess we will see... but I'm really aiming for under 25. 

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#16 of 24 Old 05-03-2013, 08:24 PM
 
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Its tempting to want to control how much weight you gain, but from my experience and what i've heard, its not necessary to stress too much. As long as you dont overeat or eat too little, you'll be fine, regardless of what the scale says. Your body and your baby knows what they need, so listening as much as possible is the best goal. Focusing on numbers and calories will just cause unnecessary stress. Also, i gained about 55 lbs with my first and i ate a healthy vegetarian diet, low sugar, low gluten, raw dairy. With my second, i gained about 30 or 35 lbs and i ate a reasonably healthy, well-balanced meat and veggie heavy diet. Both times i lost the weight by 4 months pp due to bfing and regular exercise.
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#17 of 24 Old 05-05-2013, 07:07 PM
 
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I totally am listening to my body--- i am just hoping that in doing so my body follows cue and only gains what is absolutely necessary- and i know for my body, with the amount of fat I already have on my hips/thighs, I don't need any "maternal fat stores"!!

 

I am apologizing in advance if this response sounds rude or nit-picking, that is not my intention.

 

This seems sort of contradictory to me. How can you listen to or trust your body yet say that you "know your body" and what it means at the same time? Isn't the idea behind trust to let go of control, and just let things be? I completely understand your logic here that baby+placenta+etc should only add up to x weight but honestly I don't see that. Everyone's body is different and to put your ideal weight gain in a box seems stressful and unnecessary.

 

The examples you gave of how you are altering your diet and exercise routines to follow your intuition sounds lovely. Can I ask you why you are so worried about weight gain? Is it health related or vanity? Would you feel any less of yourself if you gained more weight even if (for the sake of argument) it meant a healthier pregnancy for you and baby? The reason I am asking is because I found these questions to be very liberating for myself. After I really found out what my thoughts were regarding this I really fell in love with my body and the changes that are going on with it. If I gain 40lbs then it is what it is.

 

To answer your other question. I am 5'5 and was somewhere between 115 and 120 pre-pregnancy. The first 2 months of I gained 10lbs. Then there was a stretch where I didn't gain any weight. Now I'm 29 weeks and weight about 145. So that's 30 or 25lbs depending on what your counting as my starting weight. It's ALL in my stomach and my boobs. There might be some gain in my arms and legs since I would have no way to tell but just based on visual observation it seems to not have migrated anywhere else. My stomach is hard and huge. Like, larger than my sister-in-law's 2 weeks before she gave birth..... at least in proportion to the rest of my body.

 

My mother gained between 30 and 45lbs with all of her 5 children and lost it all within 3 months post-partum. One of my very good friends gained 45lbs with her son and within 7 months she weighed less than she did in middle school. It just depends on the person. I wouldn't stress out about it. That would make you gain weight even worse heartbeat.gif

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#18 of 24 Old 05-05-2013, 07:48 PM
 
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With both previous pregnancies I gained 37 lbs, exactly the same for both even though there was at least a 10lb difference of my weight at conception. I ate right and was active, it is just the amount of weight my body needs to grow a baby. I lost it all within 6 months and then some through breastfeeding, eating right, and resuming my usual exercise routine. It is hard gaining more weight than you are ever used to carrying but if you follow a reasonable diet and stay active your body will gain what it needs to support the pregnancy and start of lactation.


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#19 of 24 Old 05-05-2013, 08:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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inconditus- I'm concerned about gaining weight because my mother gained 50 pounds with me (but that was working at a desk job and not exercising) and then 40 with my brother and sister ... and because she gained so much weight and let her body "go"... she has stretch marks all over her stomach/hips/breasts and lots of excess skin- she is now slim- but because she gained so much weight so fast, the loose skin/stretch marks will never go away. They say if your mom has stretch marks then you're more likely to get them because of genetics, so I guess you could say for "vanity" reasons, but there is nothing bad about being concerned with how you look if it contributes to your overall feeling of health and well being- and for me it absolutely does. My dad died from being overweight, of a heart attack at age 39, so I have always been very concerned with being healthy, having low bodyfat and exercising because I know with my genetics I do have to work a little bit harder to stay the weight that I feel the best at. It would be more stressful for me to just not worry about it and risk gaining a bunch of weight- than to be a little more stringent with my diet/exercise (luckily the exercise relieves so much stress for me!) and feel more in control and keep myself at the weight limit I am comfortable with.

 

I'm at 15 weeks now and have gained 5-7 pounds depending on the day... and I hope to be only 10 pounds heavier than pre-pregnancy at 20 weeks, and 15-17 at 30 weeks, and 18-23 at full term-- that is a nice steady weight gain spread out evenly I think :)

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#20 of 24 Old 05-05-2013, 08:58 PM
 
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If you're really committed to sticking to your weight-gain goals, and you're not annoyed or stressed out by counting calories, then http://www.freedieting.com/tools/pregnancy_calorie_calculator.htm might be of use to you. It breaks down your caloric need by trimester, based on your pre-pregnancy weight and your current activity level. I dont recommend that anyone take it as a figure set in stone, but I think it's a really good guideline. And it highlights the fact that you generally need more calories near the end of the pregnancy, when the baby is growing by leaps and bounds.

Then, once you have a calorie range in mind, try using a tool like myfitnesspal.com or caloriecount.com (they have aps that are really handy!) and try tracking your calories for a few days, just to get an idea of what your days look like. This works for me, because I tend toward emotional/boredom eating, so its nice to check back in every few weeks just to make sure I'm not unknowingly consuming 2300+ calories a day, which I can easily do even without eating processed junk or fast food or any of that!

If you're not into counting calories, or you already have a "system" that's working for you then nevermind! But after gaining more than I think my body really needed with number 1, I decided to actually keep an eye on it this time without restricting my intake at all, but trying to be more aware of my body's *actual* needs and sticking to that. I'm 33+3 and around 19 lbs gained, which is right on track for my goal of 25 lbs total. Still, if I end up gaining a few lbs more than that goal it wont be the end of the world.

Good luck with your goals, and keep us posted on your progress! I'm interested to see how it goes for you.

Married 12/08 to Chilean DH and mama to DD 2/2/10. We're a bilingual home and we familybed1.gif and toddler.gif

 

Expecting #2 in late June!

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#21 of 24 Old 05-06-2013, 07:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks kitteh!  I use myfitnesspal!!  I love it!

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#22 of 24 Old 05-06-2013, 07:40 AM
 
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YogiMama,

 

That sounds legit to me. I guess I'm just so used to women saying that they don't want to gain weight because it makes them "feel gross" or because they "want their body back" soon after pregnancy. It's understandable that you would feel concerned about weight gain during pregnancy if your genetics pre-dispose you health risks related to weight gain.... stretch marks and flappy skin included. I know those aren't health issues but if you feel that you have a greater chance of getting them then I can see why you want to limit your chances. 

 

I suppose the point that I am trying to make is that it is important to stay in communication with your midwife. Talk to her about your concerns and goals and maybe you two can come up with a game plan together. Try to relax and stay calm and just do the best you can. I've seen too many women get stuck with a number in their head and become attached to a point where they are unhappy with themselves even though they are healthy. Well, attachment in general leads to unhappiness :) My unsolicited advice is that it is wonderful to have goals; however, do not let those goals impede on your own happiness and appreciation of the changes going on in your body and life. 

 

Good luck dear, I wish you the best :) 

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#23 of 24 Old 05-06-2013, 12:17 PM
 
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I'm not even weighing myself.

 

I am also genetically predisposed to all sorts of weight related health problems. I'm also a recovering  bulimic former ballet dancer who has maintained through my whole life that I would kill myself if my weight ever hit a certain number. I was at the high end of my 'acceptable' range when I got pregnant, and now (12w5d) I'm probably at my 'drop dead' number. Even if I'm not now, I will be before this whole thing is over. So I decided to do three things: 1) I am owning the fact that I have no choice but to gain 15lbs; 2) I am reminding myself constantly that it's not my gut making my pants tighter, but a whole other person growing there (will be easier the farther along I get, I think); and 3) I am not tracking my weight.

 

By not knowing what weight I'm gaining, I can concentrate on the nutrition I'm getting and not on the pounds it is or is not putting on my body. I am concentrating on giving baby what he/she needs and trying not to think about weight related 'side effects'. On days when I'm not nauseous, I track what I'm eating on an app on my smartphone, but on days when I am nauseous I just eat what I can stand. If I start to see non-bump-area weight gain (haven't much other than some water weight that showed up at 5wks and has stuck around), I'll chalk that up to the 15lbs I have no choice but to gain, and all of the bump-area expansion I can attribute to the other person in there. It's all a mind game, but it's working for me. My midwife understands and is totally fine with it unless something goes sideways down the line.

 

I've also become a bio-oil addict 😜. It may or may not actually help to keep stretch marks at bay, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something instead of just waiting for the inevitable.

 

All this to let you know that you're not alone in your concerns. Take care of yourself ❤

-MQ


SAH Princess, happily married to my adorable Nerf Herder

brokenheart.gif 2009 Expecting my rainbow1284.gif in November 2013

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#24 of 24 Old 05-06-2013, 01:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katherine73 View Post

Now is the time for you to trust your body to know how much weight it needs to gain. Obviously you've got the healthy lifestyle thing under control. That's all you can do. If you end up gaining 30lb then there's nothing wrong with that. The placenta plus all that extra blood and fluid AND baby weighs a lot! Don't set a goal for yourself that you don't have control over. 

yeahthat.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyKay View Post
Eating when your hungry until comfortable is important because like the posters before me said, it will affect the size of your baby and your milk supply afterwards. I'm not saying this to scare you but perhaps to shift focus from this short-term weight-gain to the long term: low-birth weight is correlated with health-problems in adulthood.  Plus, if you're not getting enough nutrients, your body will leach them from you and give them to the baby (a reason a lot of pregnant and breast-feeding women get dental and bone problems)

Do you have a source on this? I find this interesting but before I quote it to someone else I should probably understand where it comes from. Thanks for sharing!

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by YoginiMomma View Post

inconditus- I'm concerned about gaining weight because my mother gained 50 pounds with me (but that was working at a desk job and not exercising) and then 40 with my brother and sister ... and because she gained so much weight and let her body "go"...  My dad died from being overweight, of a heart attack at age 39, so I have always been very concerned with being healthy, having low bodyfat and exercising because I know with my genetics I do have to work a little bit harder to stay the weight that I feel the best at. 

I thank you for starting this thread and I give you a lot of credit for being so open and honest here. My perspective would be that it sounds like you have some deep family roots that make this topic important to you, and I would caution you not to let the pendulum swing too far in the opposite direction. No, you don't want to turn out like your mom or dad in this, but you sound like you have a very healthy lifestyle, probably motivated in part by your experiences, and an extra five pounds is not fifty, nor a death sentence. 

 

AFM, I don't weigh myself. I focus on how my body feels and moves, and making healthy choices about what I put into my mouth. It is important to me to set an example for my children that we are not bodies, we are people. Health is important, but numbers do not accurately reflect health nor determine our worth. There are so many studies coming out these days about how our country's "fight" against obesity is misguided, and that the real enemy is a sedentary lifestyle. "Overweight" people who are physically active are just as healthy, if not more healthy often, than the underweight or nearly underweight. 

 

Pre-pregnancy I was a size 12, 5'7" with wide hips/butt, larger boobs, and a narrow waist. The doc is tracking my weight at my appointments and I think at 10 weeks they said I was around 185, dipped down a couple lbs during my nauseous days, and probably back to even or up a little by now. Everything is moving around and changing and I'm just trying to do my best to accept the changes as part of the journey. My waist is fuller since my organs got pushed out of the way by my uterus. It can be a little weird sometimes not looking like "me" in clothes but I'm getting used to it. My goal is to gain whatever my body says is right. Women have been healthfully pushing out babies since long before scales, so if they can do it, so can I. 

 

ETA - And just a thought on weighing yourself daily - scales can be valid when observing trends over time, but please don't read into the daily changes. Unless you are weighing yourself naked at the same time every day, with bowel movements at the same time every day, and consuming the same quantities of food and liquids every day, then daily comparisons are pretty pointless. 


My wife (30) and I (32) have been legally married since 2006. We are proud queer mamas to baby W, born 10/10/2013.
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