How to stay calm during the first trimester after a first trimester miscarriage - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 08-29-2013, 05:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi!

 

I was wondering if any of you had any tips or stories about what you did in this situation. Have you had one or more miscarriages in the first trimester and now are (or were) in your first trimester and dealing?

 

I am coming up on the "anniversary", that is to say, the exact number of weeks and days when I miscarried last time, and I am starting to get nervous. I really would rather not get an early ultrasound, but sometimes I reaaaally really really just want to call the private clinic and set up an appointment for 8 weeks (I am 6.5 weeks now, my miscarriage was at 7.5 weeks). 

 

I generally have a calm state of mind about it, but then, something will happen and I will have a lot of energy, or not feel particularly sick, or not have any cramps or twinges or anything and I go into hysterical mode. Luckily I have a busy toddler and don´t have much time to even think about this, but I guarantee you, sometimes I just make time ;)

 

I would be glad to hear from others who have BTDT. 

 

THANKS!


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#2 of 9 Old 08-29-2013, 06:53 AM
 
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Oh, I feel for you. The first trimester is so hard without the added previous trauma of a miscarriage. Not this time around, but when I was pregnant with my daughter the first trimester was anxious hell--I had had a molar pregnancy diagnosed at 8 weeks before her.

 

The absolute best thing we did--though of course this is not an option for everyone--is have a two-week trip to Europe scheduled between 6 and 8 weeks (we didn't know I would be pregnant when we scheduled it). We stayed with friends and the excitement of travel and being in a new place and keeping busy were the most complete, wonderful distraction--I barely thought about being pregnant. When I came back I had an ultrasound that confirmed everything was going well.

 

At 6 weeks, I also got some additional reassurance--because the doctor wanted to rule out another molar, I did have a very early ultrasound to confirm everything looked normal.

 

It's good you have a toddler to distract (I do, too, and this pregnancy is flying by because of it). I don't know, if you feel it would really help, I'd get an 8-week ultrasound, but of course if you feel you'd regret it, don't. The best thing ever was hearing from my doctor that the chance of miscarriage after seeing the heartbeat around 8 weeks drops to under 5%. My anxiety got a lot better after that, and then melted away as we proceeded into the 2nd trimester.

 

FWIW, I had very few symptoms with either pregnancy--it really doesn't mean much if they go away.

 

Good luck getting through the next few weeks.

 

ETA: Just saw that you live in Norway--so maybe that trip to Europe is not out of reach! Ha.


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#3 of 9 Old 08-29-2013, 07:10 AM
 
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hug2.gif It is hard not to be nervous during the first trimester for anyone, but after miscarriage it is just so much harder. I finally accepted that I was just going to be nervous and worried until the 2nd trimester. I resolved to not worry about worrying, since that just seemed to compound my emotions.  

 

I had 2 first trimester losses, one so early I barely could believe I was even pregnant and another I learned about at 11 wks (natural miscarriage @13 wks).  I also wanted to go in for early testing despite what DH and I agreed on earlier.  He talked me out of it, reminding me that it would only temporarily abate my nervousness.  He also encouraged me to keep my faith, to trust my body, the baby and the natural process -- and that included having faith that if this pregnancy ended in a loss, it was probably for a very good reason (chromosomal issues, etc.)

 

To help me feel like I was doing SOMETHING to help, I started taking baby aspirin, along with upping my vit B supplement and vit E & C intake.   

 

Also, pregnancy symptoms definitely come and go during the first trimester.  It happened to me this time, and every time, I would have mini-moments of dread...but the morning sickness always came back to find me!  I found joining a DDC really helped to focus my attention and remind me that other moms are going through the same worries. Many of the ladies in my DDC would have symptoms comes and go.

 

And yes, having a toddler to keep you busy and full of cuddles definitely helps!  luxlove.gif

 

Congratulations on your pregnancy! 


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#4 of 9 Old 08-29-2013, 07:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, ladies!

 

Blanca, we actually were in Italy for the last week of the TWW, then my mom was visiting, and then we were in Spain from 5-6 weeks, so now all that is over and I am back to "normal life". Oh man, a molar - horrible! My horrible pregnancy book that I borrowed from a friend last pregnancy tells you all about molar pregnancies in week 8. I had never heard of them and then there I was thinking "omg what if I have THAT!?". I just read murder mysteries for the rest of the weeks of the first trimester and I got so caught up in what would happen next that it helped a lot :) I wouldn´t regret getting an ultrasound, it´s just that my husband likes to do everything within the Norwegian public healthcare system, which is one ultrasound during week 18-20. (But he agrees that the care I got from a private eye doctor for another health issue was amazing and saved us a ton of stress and worry....) I guess I just had hoped that I could use meditation as a cure all? Pregnancy hormones are strong though and I am a beginner in meditation ;)

 

What does baby asprin do, earthwalker? Yeah, I joined a DDC and it is helping a lot. I decided that I wanted to not push the pregnancy out of my mind for 3 months. If it doesn´t stick, it doesn´t stick; that doesn´t mean I can´t get support along the way! I have a B vitamin mix that I take sometimes. I would take it everyday if I thought it would help this pregnancy! :)


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#5 of 9 Old 08-29-2013, 07:38 AM
 
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Thanks, newgirl--yeah, it sucked at the time. Now it's just a distant memory, and I've been able to process it--I was lucky in that my "mole" (shudder) was small and I didn't need any extra care beyond the usual regime of blood draws, and then we got pregnant almost immediately after we were okay'd to try again. But I had the same reaction you did, reading about them in pregnancy books--"that sounds so awful, but I'll never get one because they're so rare..." then when the doctor told me that was what she saw on the ultrasound screen, I think it was almost worse because I'd read about them beforehand. In that case I was grateful for the 8 week ultrasound. In retrospect I may have known something wasn't right, as I'd had some spotting the week before, but who knows how long it would have taken to figure out what was going on, and the treatment may have been much more complicated at that point.

 

Guided meditations and relaxation tracks do help me calm down and breathe.


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#6 of 9 Old 09-03-2013, 09:49 AM
 
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Sorry for the delayed reply! The baby aspirin thins the blood and thus, helps increase circulation. Some recommend it for moms with a history of miscarriage, others don't. If you decide to use it, it is very important to not take too much. Only one baby aspirin per day. When looking for info about preventing miscarriages, I really liked this site:

http://www.google.com/search?q=miscarriage%20research

(((HUGS)))

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#7 of 9 Old 09-06-2013, 09:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks! I scheduled an 8 week ultrasound - it's on Monday so I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Will report back wink1.gif Someone in my DDC just discovered a molar pregnancy. Sooooo sad and horrible.

Interesting about the baby aspirin. I read on your link, earthwalker, a site that said fish oil helps the placenta develop. So interesting!

Pretty darn crunchy mama to Kiddo (2yo, DD), wife to Hubby, SAHM/aspiring writer/amateur sewist/lover of reading, traveling, music, natural parenting, unschooling, dogs, nature and more. Working on mindfulness and living in the present. Settled in Norway.

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#8 of 9 Old 09-11-2013, 11:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Had the ultrasound! Definitely a little baby in there, heart beating away! Made me feel a lot better! (Although, the same day I scheduled the ultrasound, I started getting constant instead of occasional nausea, so, I probably could have convinced myself that I was fine ;) ) 

 

Thanks for the support ladies. I am still a bit nervous but I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders knowing there is one baby, in the right place, with a heartbeat, measuring on schedule. Good news! :)


Pretty darn crunchy mama to Kiddo (2yo, DD), wife to Hubby, SAHM/aspiring writer/amateur sewist/lover of reading, traveling, music, natural parenting, unschooling, dogs, nature and more. Working on mindfulness and living in the present. Settled in Norway.

We familybed1.gifbftoddler.giffemalesling.GIFnamaste.gifselectivevax.gifsigncirc1.gifcd.gifhomeschool.gifand goorganic.jpg...

 

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#9 of 9 Old 09-11-2013, 03:13 PM
 
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Yay! That is great news!  :heartbeat
 


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