Anyone try to "choose the sex of your baby" through Shuttles or other methods and it worked? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 41 Old 09-04-2013, 08:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We're about to start our journey (going off BCP) next month for baby #2 and I REALLY really want a girl this time. DH wants another boy. I guess one of us will be right. ;)

 

I've read a little about "choosing the sex of your baby" online but the 2 main ones are complete opposites of each other so it's a bit confusing. I've also asked a friend who's had 3 girls who she did it...when during her cycle did she DTD so that she managed that. She said "right after my period ended"...but that's also confusing because most women ovulate around 2 weeks after their period.

 

Anyway....does anyone have any tips, suggestions or success stories to share with me on HOW to conceive a girl? I know that nothing is 100% accurate...even the IVF expensive (sort out the sperm) procedures you can do but....maybe just maybe...other people's real life experiences can help me a little anyway.


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#2 of 41 Old 09-07-2013, 03:04 PM
 
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I'm sorry I don't have experience with this but I am bumping up your post for more input!  Good luck!

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#3 of 41 Old 09-09-2013, 04:48 PM
 
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We didn't intend to choose our first child's gender (girl), but I knew right away because I was in touch with my cycles band we dtd 2-3 days prior to my ovulation, and thats the only time we dtd because dh and I lived apart while he was interning for the summer. This baby (now 33 weeks), we dtd before and after I ovulated so we don't know (but I suspect girl).

My advice is to get familiar with your cycle and ovulation signs for a month or two before you start trying to up your chances of a girl. I used a period tracker app which made it easy... good luck!
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#4 of 41 Old 09-09-2013, 05:54 PM
 
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I don't know that "most women ovulate two weeks after their period." I have had a very regular cycle throughout my life. 28 days, ovulation on day 14. That would not be 2 weeks after my period, as my period would not end until day 6, 8 days before ovulation. 

 

Still, that's awhile before ovulation. But if you start then and stop some 3 days before, you should be in the girl zone, along with other factors, as the shuttles theory goes, right?

 

Our first was a boy and a surprise. We tried for a girl with dd and got one, then we had two boys as the result of normal, libido-related timing. This time we tried for a girl for 6 months without conceiving, then finally conceived by DTD closer to ovulation- a day and a half before. I just couldn't conceive further from ovulation. Oh, well. 

 

I don't know the sex of this baby and won't until the birth. 

 

Do you have Taking Charge of Your Fertility? It might be helpful if you haven't read it yet. 


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#5 of 41 Old 09-09-2013, 06:01 PM
 
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Both my boys were conceived on the day of ovulation.  We tried the supposed method for a girl, stopping several days before ovulation (3 months), but I couldn't get pregnant that way.  This current baby was also conceived on my day of ovulation, but we won't know the gender for a while.

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#6 of 41 Old 09-10-2013, 06:23 AM
 
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Hi Mountain Mama! Congratulations on your pregnancy. 

 

Just to throw a wrench in the works here, we had sex immediately before ovulation and are now having a girl (opposite of what the Shettles method would predict). I am aware of the timing because I have been charting religiously for a long time.

 

We weren't trying for one or the other. I did desperately want a girl, but I didn't use any of the methods to try for one because a) I feel ethically uncomfortable with it - reminds me of the many countries where boys are so prized and girls are abandoned or worse - and b) I had a feeling karma was going to come back and bite me in the butt with that one, like I'd end up with a girl who hated being a girl for instance. Perhaps you can choose the gender, but you can't choose what's in the heart of a human being, and people definitely choose their own gender as they get older, whether it's a conscious change from their birth gender or an affirmation and acceptance of the gender society gives them. No judgment for anyone who is trying to determine the gender or anything, but I felt it was better for our family to go with the flow and let the universe decide. 


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#7 of 41 Old 09-10-2013, 08:49 AM
 
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Well, any time you choose to conceive you're forcing something the 'universe' might not have dropped on you. Having a little fun- say timing conception to see if its a boy or girl- is no different. 

 

When we 'tried' for dd, I was not invested in the girl or boyness of my child. It was just a curiosity. It's worth noting that at that time I did not believe that girls were born girlish, or boys boyish. I thought that was all nurture. Boy was I wrong in the case of my daughter!

 

This time my 9yo daughter, who has 3 brothers, dearly wants a sister. She understands that we are never in control of such things and we believe that God knows what is best for our family. Still, DH and I gave it a try, just as we made decisions about when to conceive. I mean, we chose not to conceive for 4 years! That was really not going with the flow. 

 

I suppose it is a difference of view. I just don't believe in a negative karmic force that will come back to bite you because you had sex in a different position or 3 days before ovulation. 

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#8 of 41 Old 09-10-2013, 09:56 AM
 
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From what I've seen, the Shettles method is said to be around 80 percent. I didn't know the "timing" of #1 (a girl), although I was loosely tracking ovulation as we were TTC. No. 2 was a known "oops" - when I ovulated closer to unprotected intercourse than anticipated I would, I understood that pregnancy was definitely a possibility. US shows a boy (and was pretty clear, even though only 15 1/2 weeks), but by Shettles, would have more likely been a girl. Not saying it doesn't work, just that there's obviously a margin-of-error. In our case, I was ecstatic that if there's any reliability to it, we fell in the 20%. We were really, really hoping for a boy (will be first grandson on either side of family - we have 4 nieces on DHs side, and I'm the only one with children on my side so far) and will probably be our last. We weren't even "planning" #2 at this point.

 

PS for Tabitha - Not to be argumentative, but hopefully to assist with future tracking or anyone else who may be, but DPM for ovulation is tracked from Day 1, not the day you stop bleeding/therefore, your cycle appears to be the fairly typical two weeks. Although I've heard it described that based on length of cycle, and whether or not there is a correct luteal phase, it is more correct to say that ovulation occurs approximately two weeks before your next MP, although this can be a bit more confusing, especially for those who are new to charting or have irregular periods.

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#9 of 41 Old 09-11-2013, 11:30 AM
 
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i think there is some confusion here, that wasn't tabitha, someone up thread said two weeks after their period, when it's more specifically two weeks from the beginning of your period or a week and some days after the end of your period....

 

as for me, I wasn't charting with ds1 but I suspect he was conceived day of O, as i had ew cm and we dtd 7x that day.

 

ds2 was conceived an unbelievable 9 days before I ovulated and therefore should have been a girl. though I was relieved that he was a boy. lol

 

 

This baby we dtd 1-2x a day everyday for at least a week before i ovulated and a few days after. I think that means probably boy...however daddy has one daughter, and 6 sisters so he may be more likely to throw girl babies.

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#10 of 41 Old 09-11-2013, 11:46 AM
 
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I was paying attention and charting prior to both of my pregnancies. Based on timing & the shettles method,  I fully expected a girl with my first pregnancy ( I got two boys) and a boy with my second pregnancy (I got a girl).

 

My MIL, however, swears by it. She's got 5 boys and a girl in the middle. Apparently she was only "trying" for a girl once. 


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#11 of 41 Old 09-11-2013, 05:00 PM
 
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You can search the Internet. There are several gender selection sites out there. From what I've read the Shettles theory has largely been debunked. People use other methods to sway one direction or another now, and many scientists have come up with other theories. Shettles is just part of popular culture. As long as a couple is open to conceiving a child of either gender, I see no ethical conflict with swaying.
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#12 of 41 Old 09-12-2013, 07:12 PM
 
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You can search the Internet. There are several gender selection sites out there. From what I've read the Shettles theory has largely been debunked. People use other methods to sway one direction or another now, and many scientists have come up with other theories. Shettles is just part of popular culture. As long as a couple is open to conceiving a child of either gender, I see no ethical conflict with swaying.

Yes, this. Shettles and timing methods don't work. Here is a great article about why. (And check out the forums at that site if you want to know how to do a sway with a 65%+ likelihood of girl:

http://genderdreaming.com/2013/03/the-trouble-with-timing-dr-shettles-got-it-wrong/

We just found out we are expecting a girl (after 3 confirmed boy pregnancies) and followed several of the principles presented in the invaluable forum information. PM me if you want actual details.

From genderdreaming: things that sway girl: low sperm count, hostile cervical mucus (hence, acidity favors girls -- this is why people take baby aspirin or cranberry supplements, also some people douche but there are safer/more palatable options), declining maternal condition (e.g., following a low everything diet, skipping breakfast to get low sugar levels), clomid.

There is also a post comparing ingender to genderdreaming and it is very helpful -- ingender has a lot of folklore and weird beliefs on it, but genderdreaming is all based on meticulous research. Ladies swaying following the principles on that site are getting pretty high rates of girl -- a sway of 65% is much higher than the expected 48% (the natural gender ratio in the population favors more male births).
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#13 of 41 Old 09-13-2013, 04:50 AM
 
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Yeah I used to read ingender a lot, just out of interest, and it seems like as often as people tried for a certain gender, they somehow end up with the opposite one. So I'm a bit skeptical about Shettles and all that.

 

I have two girls. Both were conceived while charting, and were conceived relatively early in the cycle. I don't know my exact ovulation day, but I can tell you we waited till I was off my period for maybe a day, then started trying. And two girls.

 

Baby #3 (on the way) is a boy, and he's our one real surprise. I'm not sure when we conceived him. So that's not much help. lol

But I hope you get the gender you're happy with, or that you're happy with the gender you get. :)

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#14 of 41 Old 09-13-2013, 05:14 AM
 
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My only thought on this is that if it were really the case, couples who are "trying" and making sure to get the exact ovulation day would have more boys, and particularly lesbian couples, since if you can only inseminate one time a cycle you're going to pick that best day and that day has "boy timing". And do people in this situation really have more boys?


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#15 of 41 Old 09-13-2013, 06:16 AM
 
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I would definitely say the Shettles method doesn't work! Sorry...
We never tried for a particular gender when TTC but the month I conceived DS, DH and I BDed 5 days before I ovulated. The next day, DH was unfortunately put 'out of action' by a sporting injury - owch! Anyway, seeing as our last BD was a full 5 days before O, I forgot about it and wrote that month off. 2 weeks later I got my BFP. From day 1 everyone, including me, was convinced we were having a little girl because I honestly thought there was no way little boy sperm could have survived a 5 day wait. DS is proof positive that they did though. I read that both X and Y sperm do better if you BD a day or 2 before O as they need 24 hours to 'settle in' before they are actually capable of penetrating an egg 0 there is a more sciency explanation than 'settling in' but I'm not sure what it is I'm afraid.
The point being, don't put any store in Shettles/timing methods. I honestly don't believe they're 80% accurate - I'd say more 50/50!

EDIT - I've just read the link posted by porcelina about Shettles above. There's the explanation about why sperm need 'settling in' time. They need to shed their protective cap before they can fertilize an egg.
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#16 of 41 Old 09-13-2013, 06:41 AM
 
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Google different ways to get your PH level of your cervical mucus the right level for whatever gender you want. Big things are magnesium and calcium. Timing isn't the only thing that is a factor. Boy sperm thrives in alkalinity and girl sperm does better in a more acidic (but not much or all the sperm won't survive) environment. My spouse and I did our insemination at home a few hours before ovulation and I also did quite a few things to try for a boy as well. I tested my PH level to make sure my cervical mucus wasn't going to kill off all of the boy sperm. Whether all of that preparation worked or not, I don't know, but we ended up with two boys.
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#17 of 41 Old 09-13-2013, 07:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by MountainMama2Be View Post
 

We're about to start our journey (going off BCP) next month for baby #2 and I REALLY really want a girl this time. DH wants another boy. I guess one of us will be right. ;)

 

I've read a little about "choosing the sex of your baby" online but the 2 main ones are complete opposites of each other so it's a bit confusing. I've also asked a friend who's had 3 girls who she did it...when during her cycle did she DTD so that she managed that. She said "right after my period ended"...but that's also confusing because most women ovulate around 2 weeks after their period.

 

Anyway....does anyone have any tips, suggestions or success stories to share with me on HOW to conceive a girl? I know that nothing is 100% accurate...even the IVF expensive (sort out the sperm) procedures you can do but....maybe just maybe...other people's real life experiences can help me a little anyway.

 

I was successful with conceiving a girl (who is now 11 yo) by timing sex right after my period. BUT I had been practicing FAM (fertility awareness method) and had a really good understanding of when MY body ovulates: around day 10 of my cycle not 14. I followed the recommended timing from the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" of how to time for a girl. The key was to have sex at the recommended time, but NOT later than that. I had my doubts that conception would work, because we had to stop trying before ovulation, but it worked on first try!

 
My two boys (now 15 & 13) were conceived without specific timing, and all of my children were conceived easily. I recommend you read the book...FAM is a wonderful way of practicing natural conception/contraception. :-)
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#18 of 41 Old 09-13-2013, 12:50 PM
 
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my little girl was conceived on the day of ovulation, well 8 hours before. Hubby and I did the deed around 9p at night and I ovulated around 5a the next morning. Little Girlie she is :)

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#19 of 41 Old 09-13-2013, 12:54 PM
 
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I'm pregnant with #5 and though we didn't try for any particular gender, I've done the math and the date of conception lines up with the gender. DTD right before ovulation peak day as opposed to day of ovulation and/or days immediately following. We've got 2 boys and 2 girls. #5 is a girl.
If girl is your goal, I'd suggest taking a couple months to get to know your cycle. Not everyone's is the same. In fact, what is "normal" for one person is completely different for another. You've got to figure out what normal is for you. Read up on NFP through the Couple to Couple League website or I think FAM might give you some tips as well. Ultimately you get to know your fertility signs, chart them, and wait. Charting is a very very effective way to conceive and avoid pregnancy without all the artificial hormones and such.

Good luck. I hope whatever God decides to bless you with, you are happy. ;-)

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#20 of 41 Old 09-13-2013, 04:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Good luck. I hope whatever God decides to bless you with, you are happy. ;-)

Oh for sure....either way I will be over-joyously HAPPY.

 

Having a healthy, full term pregnancy (hopefully as easy and not as queasy as some have it...first trimester again like last time) and a healthy baby at delivery is all that I truly can wish for.

 

It would be awesome being able to choose Girl or Boy at conception but since that isn't possible (yet) then the idea of playing the lottery and maybe stacking the odds in favor of Girl sounds kinda fun. It can't hurt...either way we'll get a baby and sibling for our son! :throb


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#21 of 41 Old 09-13-2013, 05:50 PM
 
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I suggest you chart your cycle for a while and then go for it on the early end of ovulation (if you want a girl). We did this and now have a healthy 7 mo old girl.
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#22 of 41 Old 09-14-2013, 06:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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 and we dtd 7x that day.

 

Really? Wow. That sounds too uncomfortably sore and more like work than fun. Ha! During the months (years really) of our first TTC period before baby#1, we tried all the advice...to DTD every other day (before and during Ov) but the most we did it was 5 days in a row (more than once actually)...with no result.

 

Besides...the reproductive specialist we were seeing said that having sex too often when TTC (the week of Ov) can be counter productive because the man doesn't have enough time in between to make more (best quality) sperm. Something like that. This was back in 2010 so I can't recall EXACT words here. I mean...I guess it didn't matter in your case...you got pregnant, right? Just saying. :rotflmao


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#23 of 41 Old 09-14-2013, 06:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by coffeegirl View Post

 

I have two girls. Both were conceived while charting, and were conceived relatively early in the cycle. I don't know my exact ovulation day, but I can tell you we waited till I was off my period for maybe a day, then started trying. And two girls.

 

 

Oh I am totally gonna do that....start TTC and DTD the day after period ends and as often as possible (at least every other day if not every day) up until I get the pos.gif OPK test and then do the opposite and NOT have sex. We shall see what happens!

 

I'm excited...I only have 1 BCP left and then it's au naturale and so October is a skip month (to get my body back to it's normal self and prep my uterus) and just track my cycle (using OPK kit test) and hopefully NOT get pregnant that month (gonna have to either lock the door on my DH or force him to use condoms! Ha. Then....November is the month to see if we get lucky. :goodvibes 

 

I would just track my cycle for a few months before actually TRYING to get pregnant like many of you have suggested however we have been through infertility before (it would take 3 months to a year to get pregnant each time....and the first 2 were miscarriages) so I can't really afford to lose any precious time "getting at it" so to speak. I hope that makes sense. And like I said, I don't REALLY care if we end up with another boy or a girl (it's not the end of the world or anything) but it would just be nice to have a girl this time around.


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#24 of 41 Old 09-14-2013, 07:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I gotta say that based soley on the posts in this thread, the numbers are showing that the majority of you have indeed got the desired sex of your baby by timing (15) opposed to getting the opposite sex (5) of what you were hoping for.

 

I'm going to do another talley notes2.gif on other sites/discussions soon and post the results here but I am thinking that they too will show that there is some truth to the Shettles/timing method.

 

Numbers don't lie folks.....that's 15 to 5!

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#25 of 41 Old 09-16-2013, 03:38 PM
 
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When we were trying for our first we did it on and after ovulation and got a boy. I am wanting a girl this time so we did it a week and again a few days before ovulation and not sure if we are pregnant yet so cant tell you the sex for awhile or if at all depends on if we get a bfp

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#26 of 41 Old 09-17-2013, 09:12 AM
 
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I'm pretty skeptical of the timing method. 15 to 5 seems convincing, sure, but that is a really small (and not to mention self-selecting) sample size. When I was pregnant with DD #1, every single one of my 7 or 8 friends who were pregnant at the same time all had girls, except for 1. I don't think it was statistically convincing, though; just a coincidence brought on by a small sample size.

 

I conceived both girls the day before or the day of ovulation (not totally sure as to timing). So I guess that's 15 to 7...

 

ETA that I hope you get the result you want, OP. I desperately wanted a girl with my first pregnancy (though we weren't trying any special timing), and was thrilled to get one this time around, too.

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#27 of 41 Old 09-17-2013, 09:31 AM
 
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Yeah, I'm pretty sure my first was conceived the day before or the day of ovulation, and she's a girl. Don't know about the one on the way yet. And this is definitely a self-selecting sample because people who didn't use the method or for whom it didn't work probably are less likely to read this thread or post on it.

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#28 of 41 Old 09-19-2013, 08:05 AM
 
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I'm pretty skeptical of the timing method. 15 to 5 seems convincing, sure, but that is a really small (and not to mention self-selecting) sample size. When I was pregnant with DD #1, every single one of my 7 or 8 friends who were pregnant at the same time all had girls, except for 1. I don't think it was statistically convincing, though; just a coincidence brought on by a small sample size.

 

I conceived both girls the day before or the day of ovulation (not totally sure as to timing). So I guess that's 15 to 7...

Thank goodness someone pointed this out. I was biting my tongue. This is a very select sample. Sure, timing works -- for about half the cases!

 

OP, I also hope you get what you want -- if you are serious about trying for a girl, there are really good methods out there and it is possible. But if you want to take a carefree approach, that's cool too, just realize statistics are not necessarily on your side! Probability of boy is 52%, given the rate of boys/girls (more boys than girls born naturally in the population).

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#29 of 41 Old 09-23-2013, 05:42 AM
 
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I'd definitely look into other methods of genderswaying. From what I've heard, timing is based on flawed science. I've actually seen it suggested that going longer between ejaculation sways pink, so the traditional TTC method naturally sways blue because couples have sex so often. Again: these methods are not 100%. The best odds I've seen for genderswaying is 65%- so it still fails more than 1/3 of the time. Not exactly great odds. I have to admit, though, after looking into gender swaying- we were both massively shocked to have a male baby, but everything we'd done actually swayed blue.

 

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Originally Posted by porcelina View Post
 

Thank goodness someone pointed this out. I was biting my tongue. This is a very select sample. Sure, timing works -- for about half the cases!

 

OP, I also hope you get what you want -- if you are serious about trying for a girl, there are really good methods out there and it is possible. But if you want to take a carefree approach, that's cool too, just realize statistics are not necessarily on your side! Probability of boy is 52%, given the rate of boys/girls (more boys than girls born naturally in the population).

I actually question if boys are naturally born more often- because, from what I've seen, most of the TTC methods sway blue. Part of the genderdreaming method for swaying blue is the "High Everything" diet- high(er) calories, high nutrient, etc. Most people who are planning to conceive take prenatal vitamins, get enough calories (the low calories that sway pink is within dieting, not keep-your-weight-steady, range), etc to ensure a healthy baby while also trying more often- generally every few days. Assuming that the logic behind their genderswaying methodology is sound, this would sway blue. People are more likely to have a baby when they're TTC than when they aren't, but genderswaying isnt' an exact science, so the slightly higher probability of boys may be because we're swaying blue without knowing it.

 

From what I can tell (I could be wrong), that statistic is based on this study- which is only based on Europe and North America, in other words, primarily first world countries where most people have access to birth control, knowledge of contraceptions/etc, and are able to have a healthy to high caloric intake. It's possible that third world countries have the opposite probabiltiy- although I've seen no studies so this is pure speculation based solely on the idea that gender swaying has an effect.

 

I'd also like to point out that, in that very study, there was a difference in sex ratios by geographic location- "Significantly more boys were born in southern countries (table) than in central Europe (χ2=57, P<0.0001) or the Nordic countries (χ2=8.8, P=0.003; χ2 for trend=120, P<0.0001). The difference between central Europe and the Nordic countries was not significant... A low male to female ratio was found in Mexico, a higher ratio in the United States, and an even higher ratio in Canada (χ2 for trend=57, P<0.0001)... In Europe, significantly more male babies were born in southern latitudes than in northern latitudes, whereas the reverse was found in North America. We are unable to explain these findings, which do not support a temperature related effect."  So it's not that every single time we DTD there's a 52% chance of it being male, there are other factors.

 

This actually suggests that genderswaying can have an effect because there are generally differences in diet/habit/etc from country to country and culture to culture. This, however, does not give any indication of WHAT effects the likelihood of one sex over the other. Also, again, the best statistics I've seen from genderswaying that actually had a chance of being statistically significant was still only a 65% success rate- so this isn't exactly foolproof.

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#30 of 41 Old 09-23-2013, 05:20 PM
 
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Numbers don't lie folks.....that's 15 to 5!

Unfortunately, numbers do lie if the sample size is too small and the samples are not randomly selected.  There's no way of demonstrating this without a very large randomized sample, which is very hard to do in the real world.  I can understand the attraction to gender selection though.  But 20 self-selected individuals would never produce a statistically significant result.

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