mild depression-- second trimester - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 10-11-2013, 05:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hey mamas----
been experiencing what I would classify as mild depression since beginning of pregancy. I say mild as its not very dark in nature, not constant and I am still generally optimistic about life. I am also very excited about this pregnancy and while it certainly brought on new stress...my current feelings are much more in the category of unmotivated, blue, tired, lazy and not as much rooted in anxiety---'though I admit, I felt great overwhelm at first.

I am not interested in drugs, nor nowhere near that level of feeling to want as dramatic of a treatment plan. I am looking for tried and true experience with nutrition, supplemation and herbs. I am a clinical herbalist--- so this is very much my specialty and I am well versed in plant safety and chemistry....

I would probably have plenty to say about this if someone came to me with the same issue---- feeling like when it comes to myself, I am drawing a blank and also just looking for external support and to flush some things out. I am also looking for the things I haven't tried or considered......

my personal ideas include fish oils, vit d, b vits, more iron, more food in general--- I feel like part of my mood stems from weakness/ diet deficencies. exercise----though often I find this drains me more. yoga (I try and do bi-weekly and it does help) and more play dates smile.gif

part of what feels hard , is the guilt for being depressed while pregnant--- both for the baby and myself. I want to stay healthy for the birth and be a healthy mom for my kid. I am curious, if anyone else is feeling depressed, has a history of depression in pregancy and also what has helped others?!
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#2 of 8 Old 10-11-2013, 06:13 PM
 
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Hi leavesoflaurel, I totally hear you... Second trimester was super hard for me, even though I felt physically better than I did during first. While I don't have a strong history of depression to compare to, that's the only way I can describe how I felt during those months. As well, there was that guilt you refer to, over feeling so awful when I knew how lucky I am to be pregnant!
It turned out that I was anemic, and supplementing with iron really helped my moods. Aside from that, though, what really helped more than anything was seeing a counselor. I'd done a lot of therapy before TTC, and thought I was pretty sorted, but once I went back to her during the worst of my 2nd trimester gloom, I realized I really needed to talk through some more stuff. Now as the birth of my baby approaches, I feel so much more capable, confident, and full of self-love than I ever thought I would... And ready to be a good parent.

I think it's excellent that you're acknowledging your feelings & reaching out... Good luck!

Queer and parenting kid #1, born November 2013 heartbeat.gif
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#3 of 8 Old 10-12-2013, 05:41 AM
 
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I really think that the second trimester kicks your butt hormonally. I have been a total mess the last few weeks. I so understand and wish i could at least give you a hug and a cup of tea while we talked

 

sadly i have no suggestions, though i have noticed i am much worse when i am not eating a enough meat protein, no amount of alternate protein sources seems to be enough and when i don't get that needed meat protein i am tired, weak, and very very emotional

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#4 of 8 Old 10-16-2013, 11:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks so much for these responses.... it feels like such a relief to know I am not alone.

granite, I very much suspect anemia for myself and have been trying to eat more iron rich foods and take all my supplements lately (iron free, but taking multi vits and fish oils---- it really does seem to help).....

and selissa, I love that you wrote just to say I wish we could share tea and hugs (that made my day)-- I am right there with you!!! how great would it be to have an in-person support group. I also think MEAT helps me a lot too. sometimes it's just so hard to so all the things to get my self care really met.
this is something I already struggled with and I think part of me is embarrassed to ask for help---- I feel anxious that if I can't get my needs met now, how will I take care of someone else--- let alone myself when there's a baby too!!! I think I put pressure on myself to really get the self care ritual down in pregancy... as well as learn to be more efficient, cause I imagine it will be much harder with a kid.
but these are life-long struggles and I realize that's a lot to ask of myself, to change my patterns overnight ESP in a time of greater need and challenge. I do need more sleep, I do need a nap, I do need more calories and snacks .... and all of that takes time and discipline..... and that's okay.

a big thing for me has been the transition to the second trimester--- I am between 15 and 16 weeks. I spent much of the first trimester, in bed or in the couch--- with overwhelming nausea. I couldn't go to work, I let all
my personal obligations and work slide.... I am
in my first season of starting a farm (which is a total mess--- and so behind!) and I realize now its unrealistic to expect to go from
that to "back to normal" and then some to make up for lost time just bc this is when i "should"be feeling better or worse "better than I've ever felt in my life" --- as
many women describe the second trimester. I am putting way too much pressure on myself. wow, It feels really good to vent. and just "say" all that. I think part of it all too
is that I think i am waiting for "permission" to really celebrate this pregnancy. I've been anxiously awaiting our next appt which is to
tomorrow --- when will will listen for the heartbeat. I am so scared we won't hear one.. and all of this has been in vain.

I have been feeling better... I was dealing with a few weeks of grey and rain (pnw weather) and now the sun has come back out!!! and it made such a difference for me! makes me really consider that addittional vitamin d is a good idea. on these nice days, I've discovered a new balance which helps me feel
more productive.... I give myself two periods to get things done and make sure there's solid rest time between. it feels much different than dragging all day, TRYING to do everything but feeling like a failure.
smaller more realistic goals....with clear down-time.
so helpful!

thanks for listening and for all the love.
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#5 of 8 Old 10-24-2013, 02:53 PM
 
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Hi Leaves...

 

I'm feeling very much the same.  In the first trimester I felt positively beaming.  We had to work very hard for this baby, and went through infertility treatment.  I had lots of drugs in my system, but I felt good.  I was just so happy to have conceived!

 

Now I am 17 weeks, and I've been feeling kind of blue for the past three weeks.  Some days I have the energy I need.  But many, I just feel like sitting down on the couch and letting someone else do the thinking.  I'm really disconnected at work.  And I am a little paranoid that everyone is noticing that I am not working as much.  I did just have a promotion that puts me more behind my desk, doing higher profile stuff, but I don't feel motivated.  I know it's a better position for me with the baby coming, and my boss is amazing.  I just feel kind of lost, a little behind, lazy in my thinking.

 

I too have a farm and a farm business.  I've really not pushed my holiday orders this year.  I should have approached more retailers who wanted to carry my soap sooner, and now I couldn't be arsed.  My goat dairy is what I have felt most passionate about, and that's fading right now.  I miss feeling strong and being able to lift the bales of hay, shovel manure and carry the shaving bags.  Now my hips and pelvis ache and I am nervous around the bucks in rut.  I have never felt anything but love for my animals.  Being around them just doesn't energize me like it did a few months ago.  I feel chubby and out of shape.

 

I've definitely been considering counseling, but I feel like I need a combo of a counselor and a coach.  I feel kind of stuck.  Maybe it's the waiting that bothers us?  I am normally someone who burns the candle at both ends and gets a real kick out of it.

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#6 of 8 Old 10-27-2013, 03:45 PM
 
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I'm still in the first trimester but definitely feeling depressed and blue. I've lost 3 pregnancies and I know I should be overjoyed that this one seems to be sticking-- and I AM overjoyed, I just don't feel it, if that makes sense. I'm chalking it up to hormones and nausea- I've also been super bitchy and irritable lately, as well as exhausted and queasy most of the day. I can't really muster the energy to do anything- or even care!-- and with a three year old and two businesses to run, there's a lot that needs to be done. I'm hoping that once the hormones chill out a bit I'll feel better, and more cheerful. smile.gif

~may all beings be free from suffering~
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#7 of 8 Old 11-05-2013, 02:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hey ladies.... haven't had time for a full response yet, but I commiserate/ empathize so much with you both. things are looking up for me in my 18th week--feeling first baby kicks and its a specific source of joy, however I am still exhausted and no desire to do anything!!! blah.

goatmamma--- you're due in April?! have you joined the ddc? finding lots of support there. send me a private message with your email and I can add you to the Facebook group too, which is much more active.

gitanamama--- have you joined your ddc?
I have found it so helpful from the beginning. I just read thru this thread that I also found reassuring:

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1384892/just-cant-get-excited#post_17499940

I think it's important for us to have as much support as we can--- and have safe places to share.
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#8 of 8 Old 11-06-2013, 07:27 AM
 
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Thanks, Leaves!  I have been ghosting in my DDC.  Yes, I am due April 4!

 

I'll send you that info now.  I left the pregnancy support group for my infertility practice because it got really weird (women obsessed with having ultrasounds and doppler readings constantly, etc.)  It wasn't for me.  And I haven't found my niche yet.  I am more middle of the road/crunchy and am planning a homebirth.

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