Hello ladies i was wondering if someone can give me advice.I just took a pregnancy test this morning and found out that i am pregnant its been about 2 weeks since my last period .I have not told the father of the child that i am pregnant and also i have not even told my mom she will hit the roof .I am very nervous and scared about being pregnant and i do not know how to tell the guy that i have had an on and an off romance with him.I am also nervous that when i tell him because i have no idea how he is going to reacted .I just started working full time and i live on my own .When will i start having morning sickness and can it get pretty bad and is there anything that i can eat to try to control the morning sickness at all.So is there any advice anyone can give me about telling my mom she does not handle things to well i am the only girl in the family i have 2 young brothers .So any advice i would appreciated very much take care and have a great weekend
First of all, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Its a different situation and you are quite a bit older but my younger sister got pregnant at 16 and had a really rough time with my parents over it. My advice would be to confide in a friend and to if possible have someone with you that knows and supports you when you do tell your parents. Im not sure how my sister would have made it if we hadnt had the strong relationship we did at that point. Start visualizing reactions and how you might deal with them. Make sure your mom knows that you are happy about this and that it is something you are capable of handling ( assuming that you are happy about it. In any case, be honest with her about how you feel.) If you can, find a pregnancy care center in your town. I have a hard tlme with some of their religious aspects, but they were very helpful with providing support and supplies, as well as a community of expecting mothers, once my sister had decided to keep her baby. For morning sickness, I have heard ginger, like fruitfulmomma said, as well as saltine crackers and just normal things like avoiding strong smells and triggers once you figure out what yours are. Oddly enough for me, the only thing that has helped is drinking a cup of hot chocolate before getting out of bed in the morning and making sure to eat small, frequent meals. If I get hungry, I get sick. But I havent had really bad morning sickness, granted. Again, my thoughts are with you. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.
Since its been 2 weeks since your period and you got a positive test, I am going to venture that it was not a real period, but pregnancy spotting. You are probably quite a bit farther along than you think you are. See a doctor, and make an appointment for an ultrasound if you want an accurate due date. If it was a real period 2 weeks ago, you would not even get a positive test yet. It would be way too soon. Pick up some prenatal vitamins. Not every woman gets morning sickness. I did not. Also consider your options. There is the big 3: Keeping the baby, adoption, and abortion. Ask yourself some important questions. How will you afford this baby? Will your mom support you? Will the father support you? Do you have big plans for yourself like college or travelling? Given that you dont know for sure when you conceived, could there be a different father?
Telling people and gauging their reactions is a good place to start.
My parents would have considered 21 very young, too, and would have been upset if I had gotten pregnant at that age--but I think that once they got used to the idea they would have been helpful and loving, and I hope your mom will too. Lacicolleen's advice about how to break the news sounds very good.
Morning sickness does not happen to everyone, and when it does it's usually somewhere between mild queasiness and feeling yucky most of the time throwing up every few days--most women do not throw up every single day and are able to keep on with most of daily life. It usually starts 3-5 weeks after conception and is at its worst for about 8 weeks. Here is my advice on coping with morning sickness. For prevention, the most important thing is to eat frequently and get enough protein. Eat ASAP when you feel hungry, and if you feel queasy eat some protein--almonds were especially effective for me, and they're easy to carry around. If your job prevents you from eating while you're on duty, carry something you can eat discreetly whenever you get a break.
Vitamin B was mentioned above, but it's best not to buy a "B complex" pill in the drugstore because those usually have a super-high dose of B1, which can cause painful muscle spasms. Prenatal vitamins have enough of all the B vitamins. But if you do start to get nausea, taking extra B6 may help, especially if you're a vegetarian or for some other reason your diet is low in B6.
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Lots of small snacks helped my with morning sickness, back when I ate grains and dairy it was cereal most often. Now I'd lean toward sweet potatoes as my comfort food. Never take a vitamin on an empty stomach. Gingersnaps may be helpful, and 7up.
Show you're being mature and responsible about this and your mom will have an easier time receiving the news. You're old enough to make plans about this baby (finances, baby choices, birth choices) and take good care of your health. Tell her once you are feeling a little more on top of things and share the exciting news with a big smile.
I conceived DD1 at 21 and unmarried. I was so excited because we had planned her and got pregnant the first try. When I told my mom though she was very disappointed and said, "This is a mistake." She doesn't remember that now because she absolutely LOVES my daughter and can't imagine life without her. She was very proud to be at her birth too. There may be an initial shock and recovery time, just like you're having..... but eventually love wins out if you let it :)
I've never experienced the problem of whether or not to tell the father. I can't even predict all the different possible reactions. I'm sorry you are going through this. Maybe feel him out first? Ask "what if" questions every now and then. Don't say "What if so-and-so got pregnant?" because sometimes our reactions for what other people should do, are totally opposite of what we would do for ourselves. In the end, you know him best. Just remember he can't force you to abort if you don't want to. That's against the law.
As far as a positive test 2wks after your period.... that is suspect. Most likely what you experienced was not a true period. It may have been a small hemorrhage, a miscarriage, implantation bleeding, or you may have an ectopic pregnancy. You may even be one of the rare few who continues to have a period while pregnant. The only way to know is to see an OB/GYN. You may be further along than you think :)
I just wanna say CONGRATS! At 21 and preggo, I was still able to work, play, school, and anything else I wanted. It did not cripple me and I achieved all my goals. I missed my caffeine, and enjoyed some wicked hyperemesis gravidarum for a month, but all in all we had almost a year to prepare and adjust to our up and coming addition. Life will change, drastically. But DD1, and her 2 sisters, and even my losses, and this one on the way..... they are all precious blessings I am thankful for. Life is never boring. :) You are a strong and capable young woman. We often have more support than we think we do. Give those around you a chance. And like has been mentioned, Pregnancy Care Centers are a great place to get support, help with diapers, supplies, even parenting classes. Many have ultrasound machines and skilled licensed technicians that volunteer too so you can find out how far along you are for free. Ours has an OB who volunteers his time on Wednesday's. They can also help you with paperwork to apply for financial aid, and give you a list of other programs to help too. All PCC's are different and offer different services. Call and find out. :) And again, CONGRATS!