Thoughts on drinking/smoking weed while 2-3 months preg. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 106 Old 01-02-2014, 06:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So I have a friend who's 2-3 months pregnant with her 2nd child,

she just had a baby in april of 2013 and is having a lot of stress

with this pregnancy because it was definetly unexpected and

everyone's flipping out.

She was wondering how much alcohol can she consume before it hurt the baby?

or smoke weed?

(She just wants to take a few shots)

It's a day after new years,

shes still trying finish school

and everything above:

thoughts?

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#2 of 106 Old 01-02-2014, 07:38 AM
 
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Not worth risking the baby's health. She thinks life is stressful? Wait until she has a special needs child with FAS. She needs to find other things to lean into that won't harm the baby. Tea, long walks and good books or movies.
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#3 of 106 Old 01-02-2014, 08:07 AM
 
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Encourage her to NOT do that. She should try yoga or meditation to deal with the stress. She should know better than to do something stupid like that.


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#4 of 106 Old 01-02-2014, 08:46 AM
 
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She needs to do some yoga/meditate/workout/something else. There are other ways to release stress. It sucks I'm sure but no one NEEDS to smoke week or drink to release stress and if you do feel the need then in my opinion there is something deeper going on and your not solving anything.

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#5 of 106 Old 01-02-2014, 08:46 AM
 
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weed not week...


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#6 of 106 Old 01-02-2014, 09:05 AM
 
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Yeah, no matter the amount of BS you read on the internet tells you otherwise, definitely do NOT smoke weed. My BF tries to say he smokes it to calm him down, but it's just recreational for him, nothing more. If you did it to calm down, etc..., you would not feel th eneed to go to a party and do it there throughout the night.

 

Now, some studies have shown that drinking RED wine helps with anemia and boosting iron, but that a 4oz glass 1-2 a week, nothing more than that.

 

Tell her to not be dumb and be responsible, if she doesnt want it, abort it, but don't mess with its life because she doesn't know how to use BC.

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#7 of 106 Old 01-03-2014, 07:36 PM
 
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OP, it sounds like your friend knows that drinking alcohol and/or smoking pot would be dangerous for her baby's health, but that she doesn't have any other coping mechanisms for dealing with stress. Some of the PPs have suggested some alternatives (yoga, meditation, etc.) that many people find very helpful. Can you help your friend identify some of these resources (e.g. help her find a yoga class in her area) and also help her build her support network? It sounds like your friend might appreciate having a counselor to talk to and, since she's in school, many schools offer free or low-cost counselors; an unexpected pregnancy can bring with it a lot of emotions and having someone to talk through those feelings with can be very help. I also imagine that since she has an eight month old baby at home, she might be feeling like she can't pursue any of these things (counseling, stress-reducing self-care such as exercise or yoga) because of childcare. Perhaps you could coordinate with a group of her friends to take turns taking care of the baby one or two times a week so that your friend can have some time to focus on her needs? Another way friends and neighbors or community groups (does your friend belong to a local religious community?) could help is to bring her a meal once or twice a week or help with other practical needs; often families get a lot of support when they have a newborn, but not so much with an eight month old baby. And for many people it's with an older baby that stress and burn out hit; especially given everything else that your friend has going on, it sounds like some practical support with meals or cleaning might also be a big stress reliever.


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#8 of 106 Old 01-03-2014, 08:22 PM
 
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OP, it sounds like your friend knows that drinking alcohol and/or smoking pot would be dangerous for her baby's health, but that she doesn't have any other coping mechanisms for dealing with stress. Some of the PPs have suggested some alternatives (yoga, meditation, etc.) that many people find very helpful. Can you help your friend identify some of these resources (e.g. help her find a yoga class in her area) and also help her build her support network? It sounds like your friend might appreciate having a counselor to talk to and, since she's in school, many schools offer free or low-cost counselors; an unexpected pregnancy can bring with it a lot of emotions and having someone to talk through those feelings with can be very help. I also imagine that since she has an eight month old baby at home, she might be feeling like she can't pursue any of these things (counseling, stress-reducing self-care such as exercise or yoga) because of childcare. Perhaps you could coordinate with a group of her friends to take turns taking care of the baby one or two times a week so that your friend can have some time to focus on her needs? Another way friends and neighbors or community groups (does your friend belong to a local religious community?) could help is to bring her a meal once or twice a week or help with other practical needs; often families get a lot of support when they have a newborn, but not so much with an eight month old baby. And for many people it's with an older baby that stress and burn out hit; especially given everything else that your friend has going on, it sounds like some practical support with meals or cleaning might also be a big stress reliever.

:yeah Very well put. I hope your friend is feeling better soon. Even planned pregnancies can bring up a lot of stress. The suggestions above would really help nurture and care for her, even if she had other stressors I have to think that having that kind of friendship and love would really help her find some peace. We are in a big transition right now, moved away from our farm out of state, living apart from DH while we try and buy a house, etc and I am 10 weeks pregnant. My kids and I are living with my mom and it has been really helpful to me to have her share some meals, take the kids to the park (or just play with them) and even do a load of laundry or two. So... yes, I think some of that kind of practical support could really lift her up right now. 


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#9 of 106 Old 01-05-2014, 11:18 AM
 
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OP, it sounds like your friend knows that drinking alcohol and/or smoking pot would be dangerous for her baby's health, but that she doesn't have any other coping mechanisms for dealing with stress. Some of the PPs have suggested some alternatives (yoga, meditation, etc.) that many people find very helpful. Can you help your friend identify some of these resources (e.g. help her find a yoga class in her area) and also help her build her support network? It sounds like your friend might appreciate having a counselor to talk to and, since she's in school, many schools offer free or low-cost counselors; an unexpected pregnancy can bring with it a lot of emotions and having someone to talk through those feelings with can be very help. I also imagine that since she has an eight month old baby at home, she might be feeling like she can't pursue any of these things (counseling, stress-reducing self-care such as exercise or yoga) because of childcare. Perhaps you could coordinate with a group of her friends to take turns taking care of the baby one or two times a week so that your friend can have some time to focus on her needs? Another way friends and neighbors or community groups (does your friend belong to a local religious community?) could help is to bring her a meal once or twice a week or help with other practical needs; often families get a lot of support when they have a newborn, but not so much with an eight month old baby. And for many people it's with an older baby that stress and burn out hit; especially given everything else that your friend has going on, it sounds like some practical support with meals or cleaning might also be a big stress reliever.

 

 

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:yeah Very well put. I hope your friend is feeling better soon. Even planned pregnancies can bring up a lot of stress. The suggestions above would really help nurture and care for her, even if she had other stressors I have to think that having that kind of friendship and love would really help her find some peace. We are in a big transition right now, moved away from our farm out of state, living apart from DH while we try and buy a house, etc and I am 10 weeks pregnant. My kids and I are living with my mom and it has been really helpful to me to have her share some meals, take the kids to the park (or just play with them) and even do a load of laundry or two. So... yes, I think some of that kind of practical support could really lift her up right now. 


These are some really good suggestions! Offer the support your friend needs, smoking pot and drinking and super unhealthy for the fetus and can result in some serious problems, even if your friend wasn't pregnant they are not healthy ways of dealing with stress. Use the suggestions to help her find healthy ways of dealing with stress.

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#10 of 106 Old 01-08-2014, 01:04 PM
 
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Ugh! This angers me to no end! Have anyone that's commented how bad weed is done ANY research on it?? I assume not b/c then you wouldn't be saying it. There's very little studies obviously, just as w/any other herbs and drugs and pregnancy, but the largest/longest one was done w/Jamaican women and the only difference shown was the babies of the mamas who consumed tested better after a couple years on intelligence tests. 

Weed is a WONDERFUL herb for stress! Stress can kill, weed cannot. It will help her relax, which is great for the baby. When I get too stressed out now I get cramps and braxton hicks (preg w/#3). Weed calms me and helps me relax and smile and have fun w/my kids. I'm not ashamed at all to say I consumed through my first 2 pregnancies and this one. My DC are smart, healthy, happy, beautiful, and I get comments everywhere I go how well behaved they are! I will say I'd recommend a vaporizer or eating it in a baked form to cut back on the smoke since that might have an effect on the baby.

Please don't tell her it's dangerous, if she's concerned she should do her own research - I certainly did. I know the anxious, stressful feeling and it's maddening if not controlled somehow. Other outlets are great too, but this is the only thing that REALLY works for me. (I also have horrible sleep issues and this helps better than anything for that!)

People are so against it b/c it's illegal in most places. It makes no sense for it to be illegal and there's a reason it's quickly becoming more mainstream in treating illnesses - it works w/no harmful side-effects.

Takeitsnap - why do you think everythign on the internet saying it's not harmful is BS? I'm sensing your anger's coming from your BF's behavior, this girl just wants to feel OK and take a few hits, not go partying, drinking and smoking all night, it's totally different IMO.

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#11 of 106 Old 01-08-2014, 01:27 PM
 
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Weed is a WONDERFUL herb for stress! Stress can kill, weed cannot. It will help her relax, which is great for the baby. When I get too stressed out now I get cramps and braxton hicks (preg w/#3). Weed calms me and helps me relax and smile and have fun w/my kids. I'm not ashamed at all to say I consumed through my first 2 pregnancies and this one. My DC are smart, healthy, happy, beautiful, and I get comments everywhere I go how well behaved they are! I will say I'd recommend a vaporizer or eating it in a baked form to cut back on the smoke since that might have an effect on the baby.

Please don't tell her it's dangerous, if she's concerned she should do her own research - I certainly did. I know the anxious, stressful feeling and it's maddening if not controlled somehow. Other outlets are great too, but this is the only thing that REALLY works for me. (I also have horrible sleep issues and this helps better than anything for that!)

People are so against it b/c it's illegal in most places. It makes no sense for it to be illegal and there's a reason it's quickly becoming more mainstream in treating illnesses - it works w/no harmful side-effects.

Takeitsnap - why do you think everythign on the internet saying it's not harmful is BS? I'm sensing your anger's coming from your BF's behavior, this girl just wants to feel OK and take a few hits, not go partying, drinking and smoking all night, it's totally different IMO.

 

I personally don't have any problems with weed. I'm glad to see that public opinion is starting to change about it. I think and believe that it IS actually good for you, and I don't care what people do in their private lives. However, since it's not known either way 100% if its dangerous for a fetus or not, just like with small amounts of alcohol consumption, why take the chance?? Can you cite research that says pot smoking during pregnancy is ok or at least not harmfull? There are other ways to deal with stress besides that. I think its irresponsible to encourage someone to use pot to cope with stress while pregnant. Again, why take the chance? FWIW, I also don't agree with using pharmaceuticals to deal with stress either, especially while pregnant. Those are dangerous too.

 

"I'm not ashamed at all to say I consumed through my first 2 pregnancies and this one. My DC are smart, healthy, happy, beautiful, and I get comments everywhere I go how well behaved they are!"

 

My kids are all those too, but I didn't smoke weed while pregnant, and certainly don't use weed to accomplish these goals.

 

Another potential problem... what if for some bizarre reason mom is drug tested while pregnant? Or, the baby is drug tested at birth? Weed is still illegal in 48 states. If mom or baby tests positive for pot she could risk losing her child.

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#12 of 106 Old 01-08-2014, 01:41 PM
 
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I personally don't have any problems with weed. I'm glad to see that public opinion is starting to change about it. I think and believe that it IS actually good for you, and I don't care what people do in their private lives. However, since it's not known either way 100% if its dangerous for a fetus or not, just like with small amounts of alcohol consumption, why take the chance?? Can you cite research that says pot smoking during pregnancy is ok or at least not harmfull? There are other ways to deal with stress besides that. I think its irresponsible to encourage someone to use pot to cope with stress while pregnant. Again, why take the chance? FWIW, I also don't agree with using pharmaceuticals to deal with stress either, especially while pregnant. Those are dangerous too.

 

"I'm not ashamed at all to say I consumed through my first 2 pregnancies and this one. My DC are smart, healthy, happy, beautiful, and I get comments everywhere I go how well behaved they are!"

 

My kids are all those too, but I didn't smoke weed while pregnant, and certainly don't use weed to accomplish these goals.

 

Another potential problem... what if for some bizarre reason mom is drug tested while pregnant? Or, the baby is drug tested at birth? Weed is still illegal in 48 states. If mom or baby tests positive for pot she could risk losing her child.

Well I doubt OP is even checking htis as it was their only post on here and a week ago, but I'll answer. If we're going there than who's to say anything is 100% safe in pregnancy?? How about driving a car? Nope, not safe. Breathing in toxins, processed foods, detergents, being in too hot weather, chlorine, flouride, etc etc.

Like I said, yes there are other ways to deal with stress. But have you tried starting yoga in the midst of your kids screaming at you with a pile of homework? Doesn't always work so well :) Neither does a lot of other things, I also use essential oils, breathing, I practice yoga, etc. But sometimes it's all just too much at that time. Seriously, one hit of weed can be all it takes to be able to feel OK. I don't know how we'd EVER be 100% sure there's nothing that will effect the baby with it. However, there are studies showing high stess effects the unborn baby. So to me it's between something we all know is harmful and something the gov't tells us might be yet NO well done studies show us this. I'm gonna chose the latter always.

I didn't use weed to accomplish a goal for traits I want in my kids, lol. I did however, use it to help me stay calmer, sleep, and eat, all of which could have effected them negatively had I not done. But there's some women who drink excessively, do harsh drugs, and/or smoke cigs all 9months and their babies are fine too. I'm happy that I found something that got me through the pregnancy sane and w/o loosing all my sleep or weight :)

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#13 of 106 Old 01-08-2014, 02:20 PM
 
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Well I doubt OP is even checking htis as it was their only post on here and a week ago, but I'll answer. If we're going there than who's to say anything is 100% safe in pregnancy?? How about driving a car? Nope, not safe. Breathing in toxins, processed foods, detergents, being in too hot weather, chlorine, flouride, etc etc.

Like I said, yes there are other ways to deal with stress. But have you tried starting yoga in the midst of your kids screaming at you with a pile of homework? Doesn't always work so well :) Neither does a lot of other things, I also use essential oils, breathing, I practice yoga, etc. But sometimes it's all just too much at that time. Seriously, one hit of weed can be all it takes to be able to feel OK. I don't know how we'd EVER be 100% sure there's nothing that will effect the baby with it. However, there are studies showing high stess effects the unborn baby. So to me it's between something we all know is harmful and something the gov't tells us might be yet NO well done studies show us this. I'm gonna chose the latter always.

I didn't use weed to accomplish a goal for traits I want in my kids, lol. I did however, use it to help me stay calmer, sleep, and eat, all of which could have effected them negatively had I not done. But there's some women who drink excessively, do harsh drugs, and/or smoke cigs all 9months and their babies are fine too. I'm happy that I found something that got me through the pregnancy sane and w/o loosing all my sleep or weight :)


Wow. Where do I start with this. Yes, I agree that you can't prevent everything from possibly affecting an unborn fetus. You can minimize things though, and your examples are weak. You can 100% avoid consuming alcohol and weed. You yourself said that there are not enough studies that give a definitive answer that weed is good or bad to the fetus. So, why take the chance if you don't know for sure??

 

It's kinda sad that you can't deal with everyday stresses with having more than one kid and feel that weed is the ONLY thing that helps. That's your deal not mine though. If I want to de-stress, I usually wait until I have an opportunity to be alone... not right at the very moment that this happens... "But have you tried starting yoga in the midst of your kids screaming at you with a pile of homework? Doesn't always work so well :)" Why would you start yoga while your kids are screaming during homework time? That kinda sounds like poor time management to me. Pot only helps this situation for you? Try doing yoga in the early AM before kids wake up, or while they're at school, or after they go to bed. No wonder your stressed. I wouldn't be able to start doing yoga if my kids needed me. That doesn't make sense.

 

Stress levels do affect the baby, that's true. Again, the pregnancy is temporary. A child's life is permanent. Clearly there are healthier options out there for both mom and baby besides smoking pot during pregnancy.

 

"I did however, use it to help me stay calmer, sleep, and eat, all of which could have effected them negatively had I not done." 

 

Are you serious?????? Sounds like you have other issues going on.

 

"But there's some women who drink excessively, do harsh drugs, and/or smoke cigs all 9months and their babies are fine too. I'm happy that I found something that got me through the pregnancy sane and w/o loosing all my sleep or weight :)"

 

Ever hear of fetal alcohol syndrome and crack babies? How about the babies who are born prematurely and at low birth weights because the mother smoked during the entire pregnancy? That doesn't sound fine to me. This happens more often than not in these situations, and that really sucks for the poor kid it happens to.

 

What about drug testing a pregnant mom or newborn?? You didn't address this. What if a test turned up positive for drugs in the mom and or newborn? That would seriously put you at risk of losing your kid. Is it worth the risk in this scenario?


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#14 of 106 Old 01-08-2014, 02:53 PM
 
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Wow. Where do I start with this. Yes, I agree that you can't prevent everything from possibly affecting an unborn fetus. You can minimize things though, and your examples are weak. You can 100% avoid consuming alcohol and weed. You yourself said that there are not enough studies that give a definitive answer that weed is good or bad to the fetus. So, why take the chance if you don't know for sure??

 

It's kinda sad that you can't deal with everyday stresses with having more than one kid and feel that weed is the ONLY thing that helps. That's your deal not mine though. If I want to de-stress, I usually wait until I have an opportunity to be alone... not right at the very moment that this happens... "But have you tried starting yoga in the midst of your kids screaming at you with a pile of homework? Doesn't always work so well :)" Why would you start yoga while your kids are screaming during homework time? That kinda sounds like poor time management to me. Pot only helps this situation for you? Try doing yoga in the early AM before kids wake up, or while they're at school, or after they go to bed. No wonder your stressed. I wouldn't be able to start doing yoga if my kids needed me. That doesn't make sense.

 

Stress levels do affect the baby, that's true. Again, the pregnancy is temporary. A child's life is permanent. Clearly there are healthier options out there for both mom and baby besides smoking pot during pregnancy.

 

"I did however, use it to help me stay calmer, sleep, and eat, all of which could have effected them negatively had I not done." 

 

Are you serious?????? Sounds like you have other issues going on.

 

"But there's some women who drink excessively, do harsh drugs, and/or smoke cigs all 9months and their babies are fine too. I'm happy that I found something that got me through the pregnancy sane and w/o loosing all my sleep or weight :)"

 

Ever hear of fetal alcohol syndrome and crack babies? How about the babies who are born prematurely and at low birth weights because the mother smoked during the entire pregnancy? That doesn't sound fine to me. This happens more often than not in these situations, and that really sucks for the poor kid it happens to.

 

What about drug testing a pregnant mom or newborn?? You didn't address this. What if a test turned up positive for drugs in the mom and or newborn? That would seriously put you at risk of losing your kid. Is it worth the risk in this scenario?

Oh, I think you misunderstood a lot of what I was trying to get across. I truly am not trying to argue w/you, I understand we all have our own opinions and I respect that you wouldn't choose to partake. However, you've hit a nerve w/your talk of myself having something wrong with me-who are you to judge?

How many studies would it take for you to think something is 100% safe? Would there really be a number? I'm an herbalist and this is the case with most herbs, that's why no one wants to tell a pregnant mom to take many of them, b/c there's not enough studies. But you can find, through your own research, many years of pregnant women consuming certain herbs with absolutely normal results and these are still not recommended if the FDA hasn't been able to do their studies. But we all know that there's other studies for drugs that get released that weren't studied enough, which is why we get recalls and sometiems detremental results. I've talked with several women who's babies were fine, researched it and found several more (look up that jamaican study), learned other civilizations have had this practice with pregnant women, and never once came across any negative effects reported...I go with my gut and it says there's nothing to fear at all. 

I never said weed is the only thing that helps, and it's not my kids that do it to me, but I won't get into my childhood and how that's effected me and how I'm able to handle things. Of course I have more issues, I don't know that we need to start bashing though. As I said I use many things to deal with my struggles, please don't point out my faults like that, I'm sure you have your share too but these are beside the point. My example used was meaning homework for her, as OP said the gal's in school with another young one to raise while pregnant. I said yoga b/c others suggested to use that to help with stress. I think of weed as more of an acute stress relief. Sure starting a workout or yoga routine might help with stress buildup, but if you've never been on the verge of screaming at your kids or having the feeling of 'losing it' maybe you're not the best person to be answering this thread? Maybe you're the type of person that can have kids screaming/hurt/sick/whatever when you're needing to get studying done for a test and can calmly take care of everything. If so, I truly envy you, but don't judge others that just don't have it in them. The poor mama got pregnant right after having a baby and is probably dealing w/some serious hormonal issues. I can relate to that and telling her to do some yoga before bed isn't gonna be much help. Telling her she needs to handle her stress better won't either.

So you admit stress levels affect the baby, but pregnancy is temporary. Who cares? How does that make sense? Stress levels effect the baby and their lives, not just in utero if that's what you're getting at? And now try to tell the mama pregnancy is temporary...duh, but she'll have another baby to deal with afterwards so I don't get your point there. And I'd assume she's tried the 'healthier options' and they're not working for her.

Why do you think it's so weird I've used it for sleep, eating, and stress? It's actually quite common to have insomnia, morning sickness, and stress when pregnant. Do you go around telling otehrs they have a lot of issues going on if they can't sleep well or get nauseated their first tri?? That's horrible and ridiculous, especially to say to me knowing I'm pregnant. It's great that you're perfect, but as I said before why would you be on this thread if you have no experience with this? Sounds like you think you're ways are the only ways - no drugs, no pot, just do some yoga in the evenings and be fine! If that was our world it would be great, I honestly would love to be so healthy and happy always!

Of course it's horrible for someone to do anything known to have ill effects to an unborn baby (including letting stress take over or not eating b/c you feel to sick and refuse something that will help), that was my point. No matter what you do you are not guaranteed a healthy baby, plenty of women do everything they think right and still have unhealthy babes. Studies can show ill effects for smoking while pregnant, but then we know many women haven't. I don't rely on govt funded studies. Look it up if you're concerned, there is research out there, but why would the american govt let that be well known? Then they'd look dumb having it still be illegal.

You do have a point with drug testing, though I don't know why that would happen and I have easy homebirths so not really concerned. But, yes, how awful that would be, jsut never heard of that testing w/o a reason!

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#15 of 106 Old 01-08-2014, 03:14 PM
 
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Yea, just because you or someone you know smoked weed while pg and everything worked out fine doesn't mean that its *safe* At least you advocated doing her own research. But, still, how much research is out there thats legit?
I will admit I have done zero research so take my post with a grain of salt.

Stress is a symptom tho. If you treat the symptom you do not handle the problem. Like a fever is a symptom of your body fighting something. If you just take some Tylenol to get rid of the fever, there's still the underlying cause that triggered the fever in the first place. Idk how much sense that actually made but that's my two cents. Figure out the root issue and deal with it, instead of medicating symptoms .

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#16 of 106 Old 01-08-2014, 03:29 PM
 
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When my friends were pg and stressing bad because they were cig smokers, their docs told them to smoke a little bit to ease the stress...a few puffs a couple of times a week. I actually drank a lot of wine one time before I knew I was pg. After that, I drank probably 4 glasses of wine for the whole pregnancy. We know alcoholism causes FAS in babies, but a few glasses over a nine month period is probably not a big deal considering all the junk that is in regular food (mercury, etc). 

 

I would do research on alcohol and pregnancy and discuss with docs if I were her. 

 

As far as pot...I don't like it because I had a few bad experiences on it...but I am very pro medical marijuana. I am pro recreational use as well (regulated, 21 and up, etc.). For stress relief, I don't think it's as bad a cigs or alcohol. It's probably safer than caffeine and other crap we eat! I would research it as well before using, if I were her, and discuss with a medical professional.

 

I also think yoga is great, and she should try some stretching, meditating or yoga as well. But as PP said...sometimes that is unrealistic when you have no time and screaming kids and need a quick escape because you are about to lose it!

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#17 of 106 Old 01-08-2014, 04:11 PM
 
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Oh, I think you misunderstood a lot of what I was trying to get across. I truly am not trying to argue w/you, I understand we all have our own opinions and I respect that you wouldn't choose to partake. However, you've hit a nerve w/your talk of myself having something wrong with me-who are you to judge?

How many studies would it take for you to think something is 100% safe? Would there really be a number? I'm an herbalist and this is the case with most herbs, that's why no one wants to tell a pregnant mom to take many of them, b/c there's not enough studies. But you can find, through your own research, many years of pregnant women consuming certain herbs with absolutely normal results and these are still not recommended if the FDA hasn't been able to do their studies. But we all know that there's other studies for drugs that get released that weren't studied enough, which is why we get recalls and sometiems detremental results. I've talked with several women who's babies were fine, researched it and found several more (look up that jamaican study), learned other civilizations have had this practice with pregnant women, and never once came across any negative effects reported...I go with my gut and it says there's nothing to fear at all. 

I never said weed is the only thing that helps, and it's not my kids that do it to me, but I won't get into my childhood and how that's effected me and how I'm able to handle things. Of course I have more issues, I don't know that we need to start bashing though. As I said I use many things to deal with my struggles, please don't point out my faults like that, I'm sure you have your share too but these are beside the point. My example used was meaning homework for her, as OP said the gal's in school with another young one to raise while pregnant. I said yoga b/c others suggested to use that to help with stress. I think of weed as more of an acute stress relief. Sure starting a workout or yoga routine might help with stress buildup, but if you've never been on the verge of screaming at your kids or having the feeling of 'losing it' maybe you're not the best person to be answering this thread? Maybe you're the type of person that can have kids screaming/hurt/sick/whatever when you're needing to get studying done for a test and can calmly take care of everything. If so, I truly envy you, but don't judge others that just don't have it in them. The poor mama got pregnant right after having a baby and is probably dealing w/some serious hormonal issues. I can relate to that and telling her to do some yoga before bed isn't gonna be much help. Telling her she needs to handle her stress better won't either.

So you admit stress levels affect the baby, but pregnancy is temporary. Who cares? How does that make sense? Stress levels effect the baby and their lives, not just in utero if that's what you're getting at? And now try to tell the mama pregnancy is temporary...duh, but she'll have another baby to deal with afterwards so I don't get your point there. And I'd assume she's tried the 'healthier options' and they're not working for her.

Why do you think it's so weird I've used it for sleep, eating, and stress? It's actually quite common to have insomnia, morning sickness, and stress when pregnant. Do you go around telling otehrs they have a lot of issues going on if they can't sleep well or get nauseated their first tri?? That's horrible and ridiculous, especially to say to me knowing I'm pregnant. It's great that you're perfect, but as I said before why would you be on this thread if you have no experience with this? Sounds like you think you're ways are the only ways - no drugs, no pot, just do some yoga in the evenings and be fine! If that was our world it would be great, I honestly would love to be so healthy and happy always!

Of course it's horrible for someone to do anything known to have ill effects to an unborn baby (including letting stress take over or not eating b/c you feel to sick and refuse something that will help), that was my point. No matter what you do you are not guaranteed a healthy baby, plenty of women do everything they think right and still have unhealthy babes. Studies can show ill effects for smoking while pregnant, but then we know many women haven't. I don't rely on govt funded studies. Look it up if you're concerned, there is research out there, but why would the american govt let that be well known? Then they'd look dumb having it still be illegal.

You do have a point with drug testing, though I don't know why that would happen and I have easy homebirths so not really concerned. But, yes, how awful that would be, jsut never heard of that testing w/o a reason!


For someone who is claiming I am being judgmental, you certainly have made assumptions about me that are incorrect.

 

If I have misunderstood you, maybe you should go back an edit your prior posts.

 

I don't care what people do to themselves, but when an unborn child is involved, I have no sympathy for your "stress" if you make a conscious decision to consume something that may potentially harm that child who had no say or choice in the matter. Period. Since it is not known 100% if marijuana is harmful to a fetus, the answer is easy. Don't risk it.


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#18 of 106 Old 01-08-2014, 04:35 PM
 
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I am not necessarily against medicinal use of cannabis in pregnancy but it sounds like her main issue is stress and I think there are plenty of alternatives that she could try first. Bach's Rescue Remedy was really helpful for me. I am sure she could look into other herbal remedies as well or if it is that severe, possibly counseling. If nothing else, it is very likely that CPS is going to become involved. Is that something she is willing to risk?

 

Alcohol - I have respected friends who drink a glass or two of wine a week. Not my thing but I am not going to tell someone they absolutely should not take one sip the entire time. But it sounds like she may be doing a lot more than that and FAS is a real risk and it is truly heartbreaking to read about children suffering from it.

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#19 of 106 Old 01-09-2014, 02:01 PM
 
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In the first trimester, I would definitely recommend completely abstaining from alcohol. The baby is at the highest risk of being damaged by it.


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#20 of 106 Old 01-12-2014, 10:58 AM
 
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My stance is this:

 

IF you should abstain from cigarettes, abstain from pot. Personally, yeah, it irritates me to holy high hell my boyfriends smokes. It irritates me that my dad smokes it too.

 

The difference between the two is my dad uses it medically, my boyfriend, under the claim in helps him relax, uses it recreationally.

 

Regardless of what I think about it, it is illegal, and something that is punishable my law damned near everywhere. If you smoke and test positive, your kid is going into the foster care system. Why? Because you're too damned selfish to put and unborn child's life before your own.

 

I had a SIP of champagne on New Years and felt horrible because what if in that one sip I messed something up with her that I could have prevented?

 

Just because others do it, unless someone in the medical field says yeah go for it, it's SAFE, I would stear clear of it.

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#21 of 106 Old 01-12-2014, 11:07 AM
 
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Drinking one 4oz glass of red wine per week won't cause FAS! If your friend can't control herself then it should be no alcohol at all. I personally like wine too much and am afraid that I'd have a hard time controlling myself so I've generally practiced abstinence while pregnant. I'm 34 weeks and I had 2 glasses of wine over Christmas (not on thr same day!) that's it so far. Ill probably start having a Friday glass once I hit 37 weeks. Always remember - if you're drunk baby is drunk. Abstinence is only necessary if you can't control yourself and limit it to 4oz glasses a couple times per week, no more.

I'm not sure about the weed.
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#22 of 106 Old 01-12-2014, 03:41 PM
 
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Having read more of the discussion above....

Holy crap our culture is puritanical.

It's really weird to me that so many people would advocate total abstinence from alcohol based on the normative notion that "any risk is too high a risk when there's an unborn baby involved" yet these same people presumably do things that are not only theoretically risky to the fetus (which consuming a single of wine is only theoretically risky at best) but also do things that are clearly avoidable and carry acutal quantifiable risks (such as swimming in an ocean or driving a car).

The idea that pregnant women have a moral obligation to avoid all risk is just plain stupid, and the idea that pregnant women have a moral obligation to avoid theoretical risks associated with small anoints of alcohol consumption but don't have a moral obligation to avoid actual risks is incongruent.

Holy crap being pregnant can be so annoying. The arguments in favour of total abstinence are rooted in culture, not science. Just sayin'
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#23 of 106 Old 01-12-2014, 05:36 PM
 
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Having read more of the discussion above....

Holy crap our culture is puritanical.

It's really weird to me that so many people would advocate total abstinence from alcohol based on the normative notion that "any risk is too high a risk when there's an unborn baby involved" yet these same people presumably do things that are not only theoretically risky to the fetus (which consuming a single of wine is only theoretically risky at best) but also do things that are clearly avoidable and carry acutal quantifiable risks (such as swimming in an ocean or driving a car).

The idea that pregnant women have a moral obligation to avoid all risk is just plain stupid, and the idea that pregnant women have a moral obligation to avoid theoretical risks associated with small anoints of alcohol consumption but don't have a moral obligation to avoid actual risks is incongruent.

Holy crap being pregnant can be so annoying. The arguments in favour of total abstinence are rooted in culture, not science. Just sayin'


Why wouldn't you want to minimize risks to an unborn fetus as much as possible?? Is it really too much to ask?? Because everything you do affects your child. If you can do everything in your power to keep them safe and healthy, wouldn't you do it??? The whole driving in a car argument is pretty ridiculous, as that is something that is damn near unavoidable. But, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes/pot, eating raw fish, riding on a roller coaster, swimming in the ocean are all things that you CAN avoid 100%. However, we are talking about drinking and smoking weed to deal with stress while pregnant on this particular thread. No, a few glasses of wine over the course of an entire pregnancy will not cause FAS. But, the OP set the tone about her "friend" that her situation is more than wanting to drink a few glasses of wine here and there. 


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Honestly I don't believe a half a drink every few days would hurt, and mj in early pregnancy might have a place if it's to cure BAD morning sickness. But neither is that healthy a way to relieve stress and I doubt if she's using them that way she'd limit it to safe amounts. Hypnobabies relaxation program would be good, perhaps a therapist, and lots of "me" time in general, whenever she can squeeze it in.

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#25 of 106 Old 01-12-2014, 06:52 PM
 
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Why wouldn't you want to minimize risks to an unborn fetus as much as possible?? Is it really too much to ask??"

YES!!

"The whole driving in a car argument is pretty ridiculous, as that is something that is damn near unavoidable."

Is it really? Or is walking or taking a bus just too inconvenient for you to put your baby first? Better yet, why not stay inside for the whole 9 months as that would probably be safest.

"But, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes/pot, eating raw fish, riding on a roller coaster, swimming in the ocean are all things that you CAN avoid 100%".

Swimming in the ocean is too risky?? Holy crap are you serious. I'm guessing your judge the women of childbearing age of island nations to be "bad" for not adequately minimizing risk.

Again, re: alcohol, study after study has been unable to show that small amounts of alcohol have detrimental effects on fetuses. The notion that they could be detriment because larger amounts of alcohol are is hypothetical conjecture, and if you're going to accept that reasoning for alcohol you should accept it for other substances, including every day foods, that can pose serious risks if over consumed (bananas, red meat, many many others).

"However, we are talking about drinking and smoking weed to deal with stress while pregnant on this particular thread. No, a few glasses of wine over the course of an entire pregnancy will not cause FAS. But, the OP set the tone about her "friend" that her situation is more than wanting to drink a few glasses of wine here and there."

Thanks for clarifying, as long as no one is seriously trying to argue that 4oz of wine = FAS

In sum, you can choose to be as puritanical as you want, the error comes in mistaking these personal sentiments for moral imperatives.
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#26 of 106 Old 01-12-2014, 07:32 PM
 
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Quote:
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Why wouldn't you want to minimize risks to an unborn fetus as much as possible?? Is it really too much to ask??"

YES!!

Wow, that's pretty sad.

"The whole driving in a car argument is pretty ridiculous, as that is something that is damn near unavoidable."

Is it really? Or is walking or taking a bus just too inconvenient for you to put your baby first? Better yet, why not stay inside for the whole 9 months as that would probably be safest.

Thanks for the snarky attitude. But, no, in today's society, it's pretty much unavoidable to be a passenger or driver in a car, bus, etc. I'm talking about minimizing as much risk as you can for the healthful development of an unborn fetus... like not purposely getting drunk or stoned on a regular basis to relieve "stress" while pregnant. According to you, that's too much to ask.

"But, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes/pot, eating raw fish, riding on a roller coaster, swimming in the ocean are all things that you CAN avoid 100%".

Swimming in the ocean is too risky?? Holy crap are you serious. I'm guessing your judge the women of childbearing age of island nations to be "bad" for not adequately minimizing risk.

That was your example, not mine.

Again, re: alcohol, study after study has been unable to show that small amounts of alcohol have detrimental effects on fetuses. The notion that they could be detriment because larger amounts of alcohol are is hypothetical conjecture, and if you're going to accept that reasoning for alcohol you should accept it for other substances, including every day foods, that can pose serious risks if over consumed (bananas, red meat, many many others).

Never knew eating too many bananas was dangerous.... like drinking while pregnant.

"However, we are talking about drinking and smoking weed to deal with stress while pregnant on this particular thread. No, a few glasses of wine over the course of an entire pregnancy will not cause FAS. But, the OP set the tone about her "friend" that her situation is more than wanting to drink a few glasses of wine here and there."

Thanks for clarifying, as long as no one is seriously trying to argue that 4oz of wine = FAS

There's that attitude again. No, never said a little bit hurts.

In sum, you can choose to be as puritanical as you want, the error comes in mistaking these personal sentiments for moral imperatives.

There is nothing more important than ensuring the health and safety of your child, and a little temporary inconvenience is not a sacrifice.

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#27 of 106 Old 01-12-2014, 08:24 PM
 
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I agree that getting hammered and smoking tons of weed while pregnant is immoral. I'm not sure if motivations matter.

But, I absolutely disagree that pregnant woman have a moral obligation to avoid all risks, including those that are hypothetical - or to take the least risky path in every situation. I think requrining that I pregnant women is very dangerous because it justifies objectifying pregnant women and treating them as less autonomous than others. Half of our babies will eventually be women and I don't want to live in a society where pregnant women are treated as second class citizens and I don't want my daughter to live in that kind of society either.

Bottom line is that there are some risks that we can take during pregnancy that are totally morally acceptable even though they may be avoidable.

We have to be so careful. There are more and more pregnant women being thrown i jail for stupid shit, it scares me and it should probably scare you too.
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#28 of 106 Old 01-12-2014, 08:26 PM
 
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Also the health effects of over use of potassium (too much bananas can cause this) are well documented.
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#29 of 106 Old 01-12-2014, 09:19 PM
 
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#30 of 106 Old 01-12-2014, 10:48 PM
 
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There is also the apparent increased risk of stillbirth, which is either doubled or tripled depending on which article you're looking at:

 

Tripled:

http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20131209/pot-smoking-in-pregnancy-tied-to-stillbirth-risk

 

Doubled:

http://www.nih.gov/news/health/dec2013/nichd-11.htm


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