Arrangements for older sibling while you're in labor - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 02-11-2014, 08:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm expecting my second child and wondering what exactly I need to do to make sure my older child is cared for while his dad and I are at the birth center, and how to do it tactfully, and when to make arrangements.

 

He is 9 and in third grade at public school.  He is able to walk home from school alone and has a house key, but he has never been home alone more than half an hour.  If all goes well, I will give birth at the midwife center and bring baby home within hours afterward.  My son is sort of curious about the birth, but after talking about it at some length, I think he doesn't really want to watch the birth or to sit in the waiting room so he can meet the baby immediately after birth.  If there's any complication and we go to the hospital overnight, then he would want to come there and meet the baby.

 

We have no family living nearby.  My mother-out-law will come stay with us for a week or so soon after the birth, but she'll have to drive 7 hours and arrange time off work, so she may not arrive for a couple of days.

 

Our next-door neighbor works from home and is friendly with my son.  I feel like she is the best candidate to step in at short notice and be with him, even overnight in our house or hers, until we get back--because it would be easy for her to get to our house without interrupting her life too much, and she's usually home.  But I feel a little awkward asking her to do this.  Should we offer to pay her for babysitting?

 

We have other friends who live within 2 miles, but most of them have kids the same age or younger and/or full-time jobs, so they seem less likely to be available at the unpredictable moment when we need them.  I would like to choose somebody as a back-up person, though, even if the neighbor says yes, just in case she gets sick or something.

 

How do you handle this?  What details do we need to make sure to work out?


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#2 of 3 Old 02-11-2014, 10:53 PM
 
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With DS1 (second child) I had a friend come in with her kid to take care of DD1. She was two at the time. My friend offered to come in, DH would have brought DD1 to her as well. 

 

I totally don't think that it is too much to ask to take a nine year in overnight while his mommy is giving birth. I myself offered to take the two kids of a friend when she gets into labour, I don't reallly think that it is much hassle at all, if you can hand them over for school/daycare at the daytime when you are at work.

 

Now one of my friends has to take three of the bunch when I go into labour. She agreed to it already. No problem. (She has two boys, 12 and 16, so it's not much of a problem to leave them at home to pick up my kids)  

 

I would ask my neighbour, because that looks like the easiest option, plus one or two friends, just in case. I don't think they mind. I generally think people are thrilled to help someone who is making a new baby. Honestly. 

 

I believe that families have to help each other. And I believe most are willing to. 

 

Good luck! 


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#3 of 3 Old 02-13-2014, 08:42 AM
 
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I believe that families have to help each other. And I believe most are willing to. 

 

I agree with this.  I can't imagine someone NOT jumping at the chance to help someone out in this situation.  It would be good to have a second backup plan in case your first provider has something come up (illness, work, etc.), but I always end up having more offers than I need...

 

I don't think you need to offer to pay her, but a nice gift afterward would be a good token of your appreciation.  Depending on how long she has to watch him and what the circumstances are you can decide on the gift (middle of the night phone call might be worth more than a couple of hours after school).

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