Boyfriend Angry about Pregnancy - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 02-22-2014, 07:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Please help! I'm new here and just found out today I'm pregnant with our 2nd. Our son is 23 months. We weren't on BC and were using the rhythm method/pull out. Not full proof, I know. We made the decision together a few months ago for me to stop bc but knew we didn't want to try for our second for at least a year.

I found out today that I'm pregnant and when I told my bf he freaked out and blamed me. He is convinced I did it on purpose! I did not. He actually told me that I betrayed his trust and wants me to move out (it's his house). I knew he would be upset, but I feel so alone. This wasn't part of my plan either and I'm just as shocked.

He earns all the $ for our family and knows the financial responsibility will fall on him. I work full time but after I pay for basic necessities, the rest goes towards debt I accrued over years of being young, single and stupid. He has a job that pays really well and it bothers him a lot that I can't afford to help the family, and now this.

Please help, I don't know what to do or if he'll come around. This wasn't part of mylife plan either but he refuses to take any responsibility for the fact that it takes two people to get pregnant and can't get over that he thinks I did it on purpose. I feel so alone and sad that I can't be excited this!
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#2 of 8 Old 02-22-2014, 09:09 PM
 
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I am sorry to hear this. Hugs to you and I send you strength to deal with this situation. Hugs again.
It seems like when two people have unprotected sex( knowingly) both are responsible for possible pregnancy. You realize this and it seems like your boyfriend does not understand cause and affect. I am sorry. Give him time to be angry. And if he continues well, you will have to put your bills on hold and find a place for you and your 2 year old and upcoming baby. You are strong!
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#3 of 8 Old 02-22-2014, 10:04 PM
 
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He has a job and you are caring for the child you had together. You ARE contributing. Big time. He fails to see this.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I have to say, in my opinion your DB behavior is absolutely inexcusable. I would be furious. You deserve better.

My advice is probably a bit too heavy handed. I can't help it, though. There is no way I could stay with a man like that. I almost feel what he's doing to you is abusive. At best it's downright cruel.

I'm sorry. I'm sure I am not much help. I wish you all the strength in the world. <3
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#4 of 8 Old 02-23-2014, 08:51 AM
 
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How is he feeling about it now that he's had a day to process it?

When he says you did it on purpose, does he mean he thinks you lied about dates or something? He's clearly just as responsible as you are. Hopefully after the initial shock wears off, common sense will set in and he'll see that.

I hate to go down this road, but even if he kicks you out, he will be financially responsible for both kids. It's not like he can just kick you out and all of this will go away.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope he sees things differently soon.

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#5 of 8 Old 02-23-2014, 09:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post


When he says you did it on purpose, does he mean he thinks you lied about dates or something? He's clearly just as responsible as you are. Hopefully after the initial shock wears off, common sense will set in and he'll see that.

And while you would have been charting he was responsible for the withdrawal part of the method.
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#6 of 8 Old 02-26-2014, 11:01 PM
 
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I got pregnant on day 24 of my cycle, and I do have regular cycles. At least, I thought I do. So, it just is not a foolproof method, and if your partner would have want to be 100% sure (which he never can be anyway, except not doing it ;) ) - he should have used a condom or something. 

 

I was lucky, my DH coped better than I did. I thought we were on the safe sight ...


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#7 of 8 Old 03-02-2014, 10:00 PM
 
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My kids were conceived on day 30 and day 7 of my cycles.  We thought we were safe, too.  These methods just can't be relied on.  I'm sure your BF will cool down eventually and deal with it.  You weren't expecting him to be thrilled, right? 


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#8 of 8 Old 03-04-2014, 08:39 AM
 
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Come on, don't leave us hanging. What has happened? Is your boyfriend feeling better about things?
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