How do YOU deal with anxiety and fear of miscarriage? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 03-28-2014, 02:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just found out I'm preggers 2 days ago. I'm super excited as we've been TTC for 6 months. Although it's baby #2 and I've been through this before and know what to expect, I just CANNOT help but suffer the DAILY fear/anxiety of a possible miscarriage. Why? Because I've suffered 2 of them in the past and know how heartbreaking it is to live through. I just hate the fact that I still have 7 1/2 weeks until the 2nd trimester! Ugh! Shoot me now. :( The stats are (per our reproductive specialist Dr) that 1 in 5 pregnant women have a miscarriage so there's a good chance that won't...and I'll be one of the 4 full term women...but...the fear is still there and it's constant now matter how much I TRY to tell myself to relax and not worry.

 

What am I doing to help with this? I started taking Celexa for depression/anxiety) additionally I see a therapist (when we can afford the $105) that specializes on this topic/women's issues, I have a book (The Pregnancy & Postpartum Anxiety Workbook by Pamela S. Wiegartz, PH.D and Kevin L. Gyoerkoe, PSY.D) and try meditation, breathing techniques and I do yoga.

 

Anyway, I'm wondering what you all do to combat these thoughts? Please help!

 

Thanks ladies. :grouphug


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#2 of 11 Old 03-28-2014, 07:46 PM
 
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I've been feeling depressed for a week or so. I just don't want to do anything at all. I'm so nervous. I don't want to get my hopes up then be brought down if anything goes bad. I also just feel physically awful right now and worry about having to work while feeling like this. my schedule is flexible and I dropped down my hours so at least if I want to lay around all day I can. And that is what I've been doing. I go to my first appt in a few days for bw. Then again the following week (u/s I think) then again a week later to see the actual ob. I think I'll feel better once I get reassurance. So, although I don't have advice, you are not alone.
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#3 of 11 Old 03-29-2014, 07:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I went through all my notes from a Stress Management workshop I took a few years ago. It was really helpful. There were things that I'd forgotten about.

 

My husband also brought up the valid point that if the worst did happen, a miscarriage is actually a good thing because it's your intelligent body (miraculous and wonderful as it is) realizing that something is wrong and taking the appropriate action. If there's a chromosomal defect that occurred, your body knows that it's not the healthiest offspring to bring into the world. So that's comforting on some level I suppose.

 

I also read that practitioners now only recommend waiting 1 normal cycle once you've had a loss (though if you require a D&C then it's 3 cycles) before TTC again so....if it does happen (and you're ready) you can be on your way to another pregnancy in no time!

 

All of that really helped me, plus knowing that I have an upcoming Therapy appt! At least my stomach isn't bothering me anymore because of nerves/anxiety.

 

But....it's a daily battle that I fight until I hit about 4 months and then I relax and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy.


Leanne wash.gif 34, SAHM married 15 yrs to Josh geek.gif, 37.  brokenheart.gif 8/08, brokenheart.gif 7/10, babyboy.gif born 2/18/12 and brokenheart.gif 4/14. photosmile3.gif 
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#4 of 11 Old 03-29-2014, 09:41 AM
 
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For me it is helpful to have a lot of information (HCG scores and an ultrasound) to reassure me  that the pregnancy is progressing well. It was a bit difficult with my last pregnancy when things were not progressing as well as I would have liked to see, but that helped me prepare for the inevitable. With my next pregnancy, I am supposed to be followed more carefully by an OB, so I hope that will be reassuring. If it is not meant to be, there is nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage, but it's helpful to have a warning so you are not caught by surprise. My doctor did want to put me on anti-anxiety medication during my last pregnancy, but he settled for daily omega-3 fish oil in the meantime, along with counselling (I was already in grief therapy as a result of my previous loss).


Now mom to a boy born January 2010. 
Cautiously expecting Dec 2014!

 12/08 (6 weeks),  1/13 (11 weeks), &  12/13 (9.5 weeks)
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#5 of 11 Old 04-06-2014, 07:04 AM
 
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First, congratulations!  How exciting!

 

Second, I feel you.  I found out I was pg at 3 weeks, 2 days, giving me even longer to obsess.  It kind of ruins the whole first trimester for me.  In the past, I would always finagle an U/S at 7 weeks because they say that if you see a HB then, your chance of miscarriage drops to 5%.  I may try for that again this time.

 

I was searching this topic on Google and the best advice I saw was a woman's mother who told her, "This is your baby," so she kept repeating to herself, "This is my baby" whenever she got obsessed with miscarriage.  I have tried it and it does help break the loop.  Also, I think you have to stay busy.  Sitting around mooning is so tempting, but you won't feel very good.  I have a lot of schoolwork to do, but zero motivation to do it, so maybe this is not the best advice, but it sounds like it would work if I followed it.

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#6 of 11 Old 04-06-2014, 07:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Galatea View Post
In the past, I would always finagle an U/S at 7 weeks because they say that if you see a HB then, your chance of miscarriage drops to 5%. 
 

Thanks. So far so good. I'll be 6 weeks in 2 days from now. I just take it one day and then one week at a time. If things are going great...then I try to focus on that.

 

Last pregnancy they did an ultrasound (and heard the heartbeat) at 7 weeks, because I've had a couple m/c in the past.

 

This time I'm just going to wait until the 8 week appt. unless they decide to do one sooner. I'm re-checking my HcG level on Wednesday and they said if it's 3,000 then that's the earliest they can do an ultrasound. So...we'll see!

 

Good luck to you Galatea and anyone else reading this.....hoping for sticky babies for us all! dust.gif


Leanne wash.gif 34, SAHM married 15 yrs to Josh geek.gif, 37.  brokenheart.gif 8/08, brokenheart.gif 7/10, babyboy.gif born 2/18/12 and brokenheart.gif 4/14. photosmile3.gif 
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#7 of 11 Old 04-10-2014, 01:47 PM
 
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I try to be positive and dont think of other option.

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#8 of 11 Old 05-05-2014, 12:58 PM
 
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How is everything going MountainMama? I have had losses in the past as well. Last time we told everyone we were pregnant right away and then heartbreakingly had to tell everyone the bad news. This time, we are waiting as long as we can to tell people, although I accidentally told my mom the other day as I was telling her about something else. It is such an exciting secret to keep though! I'll try to wait until we hear the heart beat around 11-12 weeks before I spill the beans. 


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#9 of 11 Old 05-05-2014, 06:29 PM
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I am only 6 weeks in right now (I thought it was four but my chart seems to tell me otherwise) and my way of dealing is to keep repeating "You are the one.  You are a 2014 baby.".

I am taking it super easy.  I am lucky, I get to work from home so I am sort of ignoring my duties right now.  No little kid bouncing around.  This is the first "real" time I feel pregnant.  Whenever I think "I am pregnant!" I feel a rush of positive energy.  This is the time.  Now or never, in a way. DH and I are not completely fully allowing ourselves to celebrate.  We are still wary of what could go wrong.  It's sort of nutty that we might have to keep an open mind about this maybe not being how we anticipated it for nine months, but that would be the best outcome by far.

 

How are things, MountainMama?

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#10 of 11 Old 05-06-2014, 06:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by sweetface View Post
 

I am only 6 weeks in right now........

 

How are things, MountainMama?

Congrats sweetface! I truly hope that your bean is a sticky one and you go full term!

 

I on the other hand wasn't so lucky this time and lost my baby at 8 weeks a couple weeks ago. Thanks for checking on me. I've been having the ups and downs of grieving and healing. Some days are ok and some (like today) are full of sorrow. I'm having a hard time with the prospect of the next time...and allowing myself to be joyful, happy and positive during the dreaded first trimester (for me anyway) but....I'm sure by the time that happens in the next few months I'll have found my inner peace and ways to deal and make it through.

 

We are going out of town on a mini vacation to the beach house (it's still off season so it's super cheap) we rent from time to time on the Oregon coast. It has the most amazing view from the glass walled in sitting room! I love just sitting and staring out at the waves crash and watch the seagulls and people on the shoreline. It's total relaxation and rejuvenation and I desperately need that right now! 3 days of sitting and doing that....with a glass of wine or a margarita sounds fabulous to me! I'm also planning on painting and reading. That'll really help me out with this process of healing emotionally and mentally. I can't wait! Get out of town just us 3 and get away from....life. No internet, no TV (except morning cartoons with kiddo which is our daily routine together) and cooking delicious meals.

 

Hope all of you ladies are well and that you're hearing and seeing healthy heartbeats out there! :throb


Leanne wash.gif 34, SAHM married 15 yrs to Josh geek.gif, 37.  brokenheart.gif 8/08, brokenheart.gif 7/10, babyboy.gif born 2/18/12 and brokenheart.gif 4/14. photosmile3.gif 
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#11 of 11 Old 05-06-2014, 06:59 PM
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 @MountainMama2Be,

I was extremely sorry to read about your loss (wrote more about it in another thread).

A vacation with a lot of leisure time is exactly what you deserve right now and I hope the peace and beauty of the Oregon coast does wonders on you.

 

I will give my bean your best and tell it to stick!

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