Losing all motivation for outside activities - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 04-14-2014, 05:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I was taking psychology classes before we got pregnant and really liking it.  (I already have a BA but just wanted to learn something different.)  I have a small group research project and I was super-motivated, always doing all the work because I wanted it to be perfect and didn't trust the kids in my group to do it.  I insisted we sign up for the research fair, even (I don't know if they would have done it themselves.)  Anyway, as soon as I got pregnant, I totally stopped caring.  Don't want to go to school or do any work.  Research fair is Wednesday and they have done nothing and I have done nothing but they still want to do it.  Now I'm just annoyed because I'm 36 years old and pregnant and they are both 21 and feckless and nothing is done and I would be really happy to just not do the fair but they're still dragging it along.

 

Anyway, I know you all cannot solve that problem for me, but this lack of motivation is really creeping me out.  I have not been pregnant in four years and I forgot how much my brain and mood change and I miss the normal, non-pregnant me.  I used to like talking to strangers, always kept busy, and liked a lot of stuff, and now I hate everyone and want to do nothing but think about being pregnant.  DAE have this problem, and/or have any ideas?


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#2 of 9 Old 04-14-2014, 02:22 PM
 
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galatea - I have had that same thing in the worst way.  Luckily I wasn't involved in any outside commitments. 

Things I used to enjoy have gone by the wayside bc they have lost their luster.  I too was a busy person but have had a pretty good run of the ultimate laziness where nothing got done.  The house looks like crap and there are lots of loose ends all around.

How far along are you?

I have found the only time I really engage in doing things is with DH.  We are doing a refresh on a suite of rooms (2 beds that are joined by a bath) and I am motivated only by DH's activity level and motivation.  Very dependent feeling, but it is what it is.

Tonight I'm pushing myself to go to a prenatal yoga class for the 1st time.  At 21 weeks I'm dipping my toe back into the outside world... we'll see how it goes.  Already I'm procrastinating... need to get ready and gather my stuff but no, I'm here on the computer eating cake.

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#3 of 9 Old 04-14-2014, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh god I'm only 5 weeks. Toying with idea of dropping all summer and fall classes. Seem so meaningless. So long to go. Really glad to know I'm not alone in this but wish I weren't feeling this way.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 born at 31 weeks Oct. 2014
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#4 of 9 Old 04-14-2014, 05:18 PM
 
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Yes, completely. I had more energy and motivation the day after a caesar than I did while I was pregnant. With DD2 I had a few weeks in the middle of the second trimester, once the nausea subsided, where I had energy and got things done but that was it. I pretty much just had to write off everything but growing a baby for those two blocks of nine months.

On the plus side, my baby is now, almost, 17mo and I am still getting a kick out of my returned energy :-)

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#5 of 9 Old 04-14-2014, 07:55 PM
 
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katelove - It is encouraging to read your comment about returned energy.  I'm really looking forward to not only having energy, but to have my motivation back.  I joke with DH that my brain is like an old TV that can't get reception... just snow and static!

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#6 of 9 Old 05-02-2014, 10:20 AM
 
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I can relate.  I'm normally more of a homebody, and an introvert with a large family, so outside activities with other people aren't usually high on my priority list anyway, but I definitely lose motivation for things I'm normally interested in.  Prenatal depression is not uncommon, though postnatal depression is more widely recognized.  I haven't been pregnant through this much winter before (I'm due beginning of July, found out at the end of Oct) and this winter has been brutal on my mood as well.  Sunshine, vit B, and fish oil help, but they can only do so much.  When I've given myself permission to drop stuff that is dragging me down emotionally and focus on things that I'm ready to do and that lift my mood, it has really helped.


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#7 of 9 Old 05-03-2014, 09:29 AM
 
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I agree that antepartum depression is more common than recognized. I had it BAD with my 3rd pregnancy. I worked hard to get my mental health back after that, but a little creeps in each pregnancy.

 

I have a general apathy for everything during pregnancy and only seem to be able to do those things I HAVE to do, like cooking for my gf/cf family. I have small bouts of motivation but it fizzles within minutes of starting whatever project it is.  I become a hermit. lol

 

I think some of it is normal, especially in the first trimester, and then again towards the end. It is hard for me to tell where the normal ends and the depression begins.

 

Also, thyroid is implicated in some cases.

 

I am just now coming to terms that mine is not in the normal range and trying to figure out just what to do about it...

 

But I'm right there with you, OP.


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#8 of 9 Old 05-03-2014, 08:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Definitely had antenatal depression with #4, but had a reason for that. Don't feel depressed at all now; just don't want to go to school, but had previously really loved it.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 born at 31 weeks Oct. 2014
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#9 of 9 Old 05-07-2014, 09:58 AM
 
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Galatea, feel totally the same. Although I dont know if it's related to nausea and vomiting with you. With me it's all about nausea, I feel I dont want to see anyone, do anything....but the thing that bothers me much is that I cannot bring myself to homeschool my kids! Poor kids, dh tries to do everything, including homeschooling, but I feel so bad lying in bed all day long! He is taking me to town tomorrow for 3 days, to change atmosphere, but I am so not looking forward to it!!!! gloomy.gif


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