Natural Birth Videos Freak Me Out - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 21 Old 05-05-2014, 11:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is my 3rd pregnancy. 1st was a c-section for breech when I was barely in labor. 2nd was a hospital VBAC where I tried to go natural but ended up taking an epidural. This is my first planned home birth.

I've watched a few home birth videos and they kinda freak me out. Should I keep watching them to try and "desensitize" myself or just stop?
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#2 of 21 Old 05-05-2014, 01:31 PM
 
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If I were you, I would just stop. If they are not helping, there doesn't seem to be much point. Your birth is your birth. It will be whatever it will be. Sometimes more information is not better. I would concentrate more on preparing yourself for how you will labor at home. Practice your coping strategies. I hope all goes well for your home birth!
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#3 of 21 Old 05-05-2014, 11:24 PM
 
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If they are freaking you out I would stop, too. Is it anything specific? I have quite a few saved that I like, so if it was something specific that bothered you I, or someone else, may be able to recommend some that you might like better. You could try reading birth stories, too! There are some great ones online, or in "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" and a book... I always forget if it is called "Baby Catcher" or "Catching Babies" by a woman who's first name is Peggy. Haha, sorry, I forget the specifics and am on my phone.

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#4 of 21 Old 05-06-2014, 07:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What freaks me out? The sounds they make, the blood, the stretching, the dirty water in the birth tub.

This is a weird analogy, but I am telling myself
that maybe this is like porn. When you watch it, you see all the nitty gritty stuff, but that is not what sex is like. That's not how it feels and while your having sex, you are not focused on those little things, you are enjoying yourself.

Likewise, I am hoping that while actually birthing, I will not be as "tuned in" to the amount of blood. If I don't have a mirror I won't see all the stretching, and I won't give a darn about "dirty water" because I will be in the throws of labor. I hope this is true?
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#5 of 21 Old 05-06-2014, 09:08 AM
 
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I think that is a good analogy! And it is definitely true for me smile.gif Reading birth stories might be a good way to go. It was for me, anyway. And I definitely prefer the more artistic videos with music over them, etc. for the exact reason you said - for me my children's births really have been this quiet, hazy, beautiful things without me being aware of the stretching or blood or dirty water.

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#6 of 21 Old 05-06-2014, 09:28 AM
 
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Perfect analogy for my experience.

A thought: if dirty water is not to your liking you might choose not to birth in the tub. I knew I would be distracted from my labor by worrying about clean up. Even though the midwives would have taken care of all that. So I opted for no tub and would have used our regular bathtub or shower if I wanted hot water during labor.

These are all great things to talk with your midwife and partner about.

I stalled in my first labor. I realized later that it was because the birthing area had not been set up with the plastic sheets and old sheets that I was okay birthing on. DH didn't care about the mess or potential for stains so it wasn't a priority for him. This time around I was able to make my psychological needs clear and he took care of everything so I could just give in to the process of labor.

Also, I had a lot of photos of my first birth and I still am not comfortable looking at the ones where baby is crowning. The visual is soooo very different from my experience and looks so gruesome that I am considering deleting the digital photos.
I requested no graphic pictures during my second birth. Baby came so quickly that no pics were taken until after he was born and I am content.

( and I am totally comfortable with all bodily fluids and processes! The pictures were just so foreign to how I remember the births that I felt they were not a good representation of my reality. )

Congratulations! Wishing you the birth you desire.
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#7 of 21 Old 05-06-2014, 10:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all. This is encouraging.
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#8 of 21 Old 05-06-2014, 12:28 PM
 
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I will add my agreement that the experience of labor is completely different than the observation of it. If you want to prepare mentally for what you might expect (keeping in mind that your labor will be unique!), I would recommend reading birth stories rather than looking a photos/videos. My memory of what my natural births were like are completely different than what those at the birth describe; I was very inside myself. Good luck to you.


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#9 of 21 Old 05-06-2014, 12:55 PM
 
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Would totally agree on the porn analogy.

On the water, however... I had a water birth for my fourth, and it was disgusting. I totally noticed that the water was full of poop and pee and I hated it, but was too in labor land to get out. Plus, it kept me so relaxed that I failed to get into a good position for pushing and it hurt like hell to get him out, way more than my dd that came out with a nuchal hand on dry land. The cleanup was atrocious - it looked like the basement scene in The Silence of the Lambs when she sees the tub with a rotten body in it - and then poor dh had to start a siphon to drain it out the window, and then bail the last part with a pot. Gross gross gross.

I am going to a FSBC this time and they have jacuzzi tubs, but they like you to get out for the actual pushing. I am fine with that, bc it was relaxing during labor, just gross during pushing. Plus, they can just pull the drain plug and all grossness is gone!

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#10 of 21 Old 05-06-2014, 02:31 PM
 
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Okay, well at both my waterbirths the water stayed mostly clear and facilitated really gentle, lovely transitions for my babies. There was absolutely nothing gross about it at any point. It helped ease the pain and I was able to move freely and get in a great position to deliver both without any tearing, even my 10lb4oz, military presentation babe. So obviously everyone has different experiences.

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#11 of 21 Old 05-06-2014, 02:32 PM
 
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I agree with reading birth stories instead! And I agree with ^her^ on the nasty water. I had a home water birth, and while I can't imagine birthing DS out of the water (he had his arms up and crossed and both fists coming out with his head... I don't want to even think about what that would have been like on dry land!) BUT I totally noticed that the water was gross. I don't really know of a good solution though! My sister-in-law had her baby in Oklahoma City at a birth center attached to the hospital. She wasn't allowed to birth in the water, but she did labor in the birth tub in her birthing room. She said that it was a fancy tub that was constantly filtering and changing out the water and maintaining a nice temperature. I sure wish I had one of those at my house! I loved having a homebirth and I loved being in the water, but I'm trying to think of another option for next time.
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#12 of 21 Old 05-06-2014, 05:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mareseatoats View Post

Okay, well at both my waterbirths the water stayed mostly clear and facilitated really gentle, lovely transitions for my babies. There was absolutely nothing gross about it at any point. It helped ease the pain and I was able to move freely and get in a great position to deliver both without any tearing, even my 10lb4oz, military presentation babe. So obviously everyone has different experiences.

I know my experience was not common in terms of not liking it for pushing. But how did your water not get gross? I distinctly remember pooping loose stools during pushing (normal) and seeing it float up and being inhibited to push for a few pushes.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
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#13 of 21 Old 05-06-2014, 06:03 PM
 
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Haha well, I agree pooping is 100% normal, but I didn't notice when I did and they weren't loose, I guess, because they just scooped them out (I was told). And then I just didn't have much blood or anything in the water after. Not sure why.

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#14 of 21 Old 05-06-2014, 07:44 PM
 
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Just supporting what others have said- I too get a little freaked our by birth videos, but I had an incredible homebirth, and I've witnessed a friend's birth and felt nothing but awe. Even at the peak of my friend's labor when she was moaning/screaming and there was blood everywhere, all I could think about was how powerful and beautiful she was. Videod can be so one dimensional- if that makes sense. You don't really feel the energy of the situation, which makes all the difference. I loved the birth stories in Spiritual Midwifery for that reason- I could feel the magic of the experience and wasn't freaked out by seeing blood/moaning/screaming/etc.

Also, it's interesting to follow the birth tub discussion. I opted out of a water birth because I don't want to deal with the clean up-- nor do I want DH or my midwife to have to. But then I have moments where I think I'm being silly and too sensitive about normal birth stuff (poo, blood,etc) IDK. But I'm glad I'm not the only one!

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#15 of 21 Old 05-09-2014, 08:30 AM
 
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That is totally a useful analogy! I had a medicated birth in the end, but for the time I was all natural, which was most of labor, I was oblivious to the grossness. An there was lots of mess in my birth from the beginning...

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#16 of 21 Old 05-10-2014, 11:12 PM
 
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There is no reason at all to watch natural birth videos if you don't want to!

 

As far as water birth goes, I know one woman who's had nine babies - mostly in water, very quick, and the water always stays pristine. Seriously, not a drop of blood. Some women just don't bleed much (or poop!) during birth.

 

My second birth, I birthed standing up over the tub. Hey, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time! :p As soon as DS was out we all slid down into the water... which, yes, was bloody and gross. I don't recall poop, though it's possible the midwife cleaned it up tactfully - but there was definitely blood and grossness. My fastidious DH had to gulp for a second as he sat down. It didn't exactly *bother* me, but I was aware of it. (And oddly, when I tried labouring in water I found the pain relief really wimpy and pathetic compared to the hot wheatie bag I was using on 'dry land'. With my first birth, labouring in the water felt great. You can never tell what's going to work at the time! My plan this time is to have the tub available, but not feel obliged about getting into it if I don't want to.)

 

And I really don't like to think about the stretching thing. I can't think of anything worse than having a mirror there, and when my MW told me to touch the baby's head as it was crowning, I only did it for a second and then went 'nope, I'm good'. It doesn't help that newborn heads feel kind of mushy! 


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#17 of 21 Old 05-11-2014, 12:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What is a hot wheatie bag?
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#18 of 21 Old 05-12-2014, 02:06 PM
 
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God's gift to labouring women!

 

It's a fabric bag filled with wheat. You microwave it for 3-4 minutes until it's good and hot, and then knead it against your tummy or lower back or wherever you're hurting. You can also chuck 'em in the freezer to use on sports injuries. I think some people make them with rice, but we always used wheat. 

 

The one I used for my births was a long rectangular one, sewn into three equal squareish compartments so the wheat doesn't all fall down one end. It was great - long enough to wrap around the bulk of my pregnant tummy or to cover my whole lower back. And you could knead it and bite it and generally abuse it. I made mine so hot at DS' birth that I discovered afterwards I'd mildly burned my tummy! SO WORTH IT. Sadly that particular bag has died, but I'm planning to make another one for the next birth. I wouldn't go through labour without one. You know how hot water bottles feel great for period pain and muscle cramps? Well, that's kinda what labour is, to a large degree - period pain and muscle cramps - and heat and pressure WORK. For me, going from the wheatie bag to the birthing pool was a step down, because there wasn't as much heat and pressure in the pool - for obvious reasons they can't make it boiling hot. I have a friend who stood under a hot shower with good water pressure, which I imagine could work well too - especially if it had a removable head and you could get someone to aim it at your lower back. 

 

But yeah, hot wheatie bags. Can't recommend them highly enough! They're dead easy to sew, but if you don't, craft markets often sell 'em, sometimes infused with lavender.


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#19 of 21 Old 05-12-2014, 02:11 PM
 
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it's totally like porn! I like watching birth videos (although they do also freak me out, but I kind of like appreciating that intensity), but I always turn the volume down or wear headphones lest my housemates think it's porn. also like porn in that the main event is often photo bombed by goofy not that helpful men.
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#20 of 21 Old 05-12-2014, 03:35 PM
 
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I like to think that the noises that get the baby out are kind of like the noises that got them in there. Watching someone else give birth can feel like you are intruding on someone else's very intimate moment, and that can be uncomfortable.
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#21 of 21 Old 05-17-2014, 04:19 PM
 
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I didn't have a chance to read all the replies, so I may be repeating something someone already said. (Sorry). I was the same way planning my first birth!! It was a home birth, but all the videos and everything were horrifying to me! lol. Reading about it was amazing, though. I could read home birth stories for hours. That being said, all the other pregnancies, I had no problem watching videos. I think they're all wonderful and magical now, whereas before they were a total nightmare to me. haha. So, seriously, try some good reading and see how you like it. :thumb

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