. I have seen lots of reassuring stories online, too, but some scary ones, too. I am going to call the high-risk docs back today and question them about only having one U/S to check for growth.
I think my real problem is that we have had nothing but terrible scares this whole pregnancy. First it was the RE telling me I would have a miscarriage over Easter weekend. I begged for help and got progesterone and it didn't happen, but the progesterone made me terribly sick for two months. Then I found out I was in thyroid failure and have to take medicine forever. Then it was being told that our baby would be severely disabled, and living with that for 10 days, until they told us that result was wrong and baby was fine. All this time I was still really sick and exhausted. I finally started to feel human again at 19 weeks, and then they told me about the cord issue.
This baby is a bonus baby. We did it on purpose, but our youngest is almost four, long out of diapers, all the others are in school FT. DH started a new business and works crazy hours, and we need more money so I should really be working for pay, but here I am, having this baby, and being constantly emotionally jerked back and forth. It's making me uncharacteristically bitter and self-pitying.
So yeah... back to where to have the baby. My city has a big fight between the main hospital system and the main insurer, and what it means for me is that I can use the FSBC, but I cannot use the same CNMs at the hospital. That sucks, because that would be my main choice, but it's impossible. I really just like the security of the EFM given the cord problem, and honestly, my last child's home birth was painful enough that I have fear about that, too. So if I want to be at a hospital, I can only see an OB. But then I feel weird about that, too. DH worries that they will cut me, and I worry about hospital bacteria, and I just worry, period.