"WHAT?!?!" Those Things Nobody Warns You About.... - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-13-2004, 07:13 PM
 
thundersweet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Roswell, Georgia
Posts: 1,259
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This thread is funny and all so true! The thing with the poop though, that had me so worried with my first. I actually had an enema on hand to use before I went to the hospital. I was induced. Now I have no idea if this is a good thing to do or not but I was terrified. The nurse asked me the next day if I wanted one and I said "YES" lol I was just terrified. Anyway I didnt poop so I guess it worked. I plan to have one with this baby too.
thundersweet is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 07-13-2004, 08:01 PM
 
LizaBear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 6,047
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think the only thing that caught me a little off guard (I have a very chatty, up-front group of aquaintances here luckily) is when my son was having milk after he was born - from HIS nipples.

Took me about 3.4 seconds to figure out that it was from my hormones, but man did my husband freak out for a few days ! *LOL*

Canadian mom to Boo (Aug '02), Bug (Aug '04) and Bear (Dec '06).
Jesse (July '09)
LizaBear is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 02:57 AM
 
msrog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,295
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OK, thanks for the laughs, ladies!!! I especially cracked up with gristastic's post of only the lurker eating popcorn...

If it eases anyone's mind, I DID NOT PUKE DURING LABOR. And I pooped a little, but nobody even noticed, because the doc/doula whoever was right there to quickly wipe the area with a giant pad (and had their hand strategically placed during pushing where they were simultaneously covering that area from view while also available to quickly whisk it away).

My biggest surprises were:
- In pregnancy, that none of the mainstream books I read prepared me for the "will you circumcise?" question. I didn't even know it was an option, it's so routinely done around here... luckily my neighbor friend/doula/mom of two intact boys gave me a Mothering article about it before we made a stupid decision based on ignorance!
- In labor, that the "I can't make it any longer" pains of transition can start as early as 6 cm, disheartening you when you spent 6 hours dilating 4 cms. and think you have to go 6 more hours to open the last 4 cms... when in reality it only took 40 minutes, if that long, then PUSHING ACTUALLY FELT LESS PAINFUL than any of it.
- The bleeding and goo you have for a month after birth. WEIRD.
- That breastfeeding does not always come naturally. It took us two weeks and an emaciated, starving baby to finally work out a plan... using an electric double pump and bottles and finally weaning back to plain breast with no pump at 6 weeks old. Hard road!
- Related to that, having never breastfed before, I didn't know that I wasn't "letting down." So it was a BIG SHOCKER the first time that happened with the pump... tingles and milk everywhere!!! Then I was astonished at how far across the room I could shoot a stream of milk while letting down...

:LOL
msrog is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 04:57 AM
 
girlfactory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Chillin outside of Austin
Posts: 1,199
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by trishshack
My 2 big ones are that you can throw up while in labor and that you poop when you are pushing.

OMG you are so right on about that!! I mean really, I would have LOVED to know that not only would I be pushing out a babe, BUT a load of crap to boot! Who'da thunk??

Terri, sewing mama to 4 beautiful girls and the boy, Finn. We novaxnocirc.giffamilybed1.gifh20homebirth.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gifsewmachine.gif since 1996!
girlfactory is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 05:00 AM
Banned
 
Mamid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Fraser Valley
Posts: 1,790
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Don't tell other moms who just delivered that you either only tore or didn't tear at all. Especially not the one who can barely walk and had to have an episiotomy and who still tore.

That hospital staff make value judgements on how you parent immediately after birth and refuse to take into account the fact that you have just given birth or are having problems post partum.

That taping a sign to your door that says "quiet please. mommy and baby resting" keeps vistors at bay and makes the staff knock first. (except kitchen staff ARGH!)

That you _can_ take a shit within 24hrs after birth and not feel like you're insides are going to fall out.

That you can also take a shit a week or more after birth and stop up the toilet. And then do the same thing the next day. :
Mamid is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 01:45 PM
 
melixxa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: In the mountains of madness
Posts: 342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is one of the best threads I've seen in a long time. So interesting!

I have to say that none of the things anyone has posted thus far were surprising to me. I guess I did a hell of a lot of reading while I was pregnant, maybe 30+ books, and also had a great childbirth class (based loosely on "Birthing From Within") with the woman who was both my doula and my massage therapist during pregnancy. The only things that came as a shocker were related to what Mamid said - hospital stuff. I had had no experience with hospitals before (and did NOT expect to be in one - but rather in my lights-dimmed, newly-blue-painted, lavendar-scented bedroom - and did NOT expect to be recovering from surgery).

So, here are mine (take note that these are also post c-section):

1. Your best friend is now named STOOL SOFTENER. However. If you don't drink as much water as you possibly can, you will still spend about an hour in the shower attempting to remove impacted stools without any medical (or other) assistance and without even knowing what the hell is going on. (This happened to me on day 5, the day after I got out of the hospital.) And of course, the mushy, non-fiber, non-nutritious hospital food will not help in the least. No one talked to me about this possibility (which I guess can be common after surgery), and the pains in my abdomen were actually worse than the labor pains. I could not walk across the room without crumpling up. It didn't help that the surgical incision was already making it a challenge to walk straight.

Next time - if there ever were to be a next time - I would ask for more /a stronger stool softener and get someone to bring me lots of fresh fruit, salad, dried fruit, etc. into the hospital. And bottled water - I like the fizzy European waters, esp. Pellegrino - anything to motivate me to drink even more than I already was.

2. Your milk can come in without engorgement. I kept waiting for my breasts to get as hard as rocks. I kept waiting for the pain. Didn't happen. Then I noticed that thin white stuff, not yellow stuff, was leaking from my son's mouth.

3. You can have weird effects from an epidural (I was NOT going to get one so I was pretty ignorant about them). I had a strange tingly pain all down one thigh, which later turned into numbness. My thigh was numb for about 10 months, then it went away. Sometimes I still feel a slight, very localized numbness around my incision. Nothing too bad.

4. My milk came in on day 5 or day 6. And that was OK. Luckily (if you want to look at it that way), I was too drugged up to worry needlessly about my milk. In fact, nothing anyone in the hospital did could really phase me. My DP and I did just what we wanted. We could not keep the nurses from opening the door and turning on bright (bright! cross-examination-worthy-bright) overhead lights in the middle of the night, however. I don't know that anyone can.

As a result, after my 43-hour labor and homebirth-that-was-not-to-be, I actually spent four quite happy, peaceful days in the hospital. So I would call this #

5. The hospital is not necessarily going to be horrific. I thought it would be. I did not want to be there. I was not mentally prepared to be there. But once I was, once it was all over, did not go as expected, and yet here was my fantastically beautiful baby, it was just fine. The nurses, the doctors, everyone - they were great (OK, there was one asshole doctor and one asshole nurse, and the lactation counsellors were pretty much useless, but whatever). My midwife and my doula and my midwife's partner all came to visit every day. My only job was to walk up and down the hall once a day and try to feed my baby. I loved my hospital bed and was sad to leave it. We spent all our time gazing in admiration at our son, who slept nestled next to me on the bed. We never let anyone take him anywhere without us.

It wasn't my beautiful, peaceful homebirth, but I have really fond memories of it all nevertheless.

P.S One more thing: Nobody prepared us for just how GREAT it is after the baby was born. All I really thought and worried about was the work involved and the sleep deprivation. Actually, it was wonderful. It was FUN.
melixxa is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 03:28 PM
 
Evergreen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Where all the women are strong
Posts: 5,295
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You still look 6 months pregnant after you have the baby.

I never pooped or threw up even though my midwife made me eat throughout my entire 29 hour labor.

I had heard birthing the placenta feels good and cooling, but for me it hurt just like any other contraction.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

Evergreen is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 03:29 PM
 
mum2tori's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: LoneStar State Keeping Austin Weird
Posts: 2,352
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That your milk can come in at different times with each pregnancy.

My milk came in within 3 days with the birth of my first (DD). It was 6 DAYS before my milk came in with my second (DS) AND I was tandem nursing with DD too. And constant nursing doesn't always make it come in faster. DS was attached almost non-stop until my milk finally came in and he felt satisfied. And I didn't have nearly the engorgement or the supply second time around that I did with DD. In fact my supply totally disappeared with this pregnancy. I didn't want DS to wean so early but he wasn't getting anything anymore and the pain was unbearable. I'll be curious to see if he decides to try again once my supply comes back.

Oh it was amazing to see my milk let down with a "blast" from one side while trying to get DD attached on the other side.
mum2tori is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 03:57 PM
 
mum5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: feeling beachy!
Posts: 1,878
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
How protective you can feel of that little babe. I didn't want ANYONE toucj=hing her, only me and her Daddy.
I had the usual tiredness during the whole pregnancy, the pukeing and pooping during labor.
The broken blood vessels in my eyes from pushing. The placenta "birth" Ouch!
The post partum depression that I really feel is so underestimated and still so taboo.
I didn't feel normal until nearly a year after the birth.
The weight loss that breast feeding is supposed to give you !! Haha!
The absolute intense love that you feel for your baby, what's better than that!!

Me and Dh partners.gif, Dd1bouncy.gif  Dd2dust.gif,Ds1joy.gif, 2flowerkitty.gif, 2hamster.jpgand lots of goldfish.gif

mum5 is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 04:23 PM
 
mama2annabelle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: florida
Posts: 688
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was so educated about labor and birth and was extremely prepared for all the stuff that goes along with those. But I was CLUELESS about just about everything postpartum.

I had no idea:

-- that I would be in so much PAIN after birth. I couldn't sit comfortably for weeks!!! Tailbone pain, anal fissure, hemmerhoids, perineum pain (even though I did not get an episiotimy and only had a very tiny tear). That and my entire body ached like I had just done a full body work out and had waaaay overdone it.

--that intercourse would be nearly impossible to bear for months and would not be completely pain free for more than half the first year PP.

--that frequent nursing does not always delay your first post partum period.
DD nursed (on demand) constantly, sometimes latched on and sucking for hours at a time. I was sure that I would go at least the first year with no period. Well, was I wrong...I got my first period 1 WEEK after the post partum bleeding stopped! UGH!!!!
mama2annabelle is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 04:47 PM
 
Soogie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: enjoying coastal paradise
Posts: 376
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am LMAO at some of these responses. They are all so true! But the one thing that I didn't expect was how much I would SMELL during labor. Seriously, I stunk. I couldn't even stand my own smell with my first labor. It was a mixture of sweat (I spent my entire labor nekkid, I was so darn hot) and all the fluid(s) smells mixed together. I was rather "earthy" smelling. Even DH noticed, but was a very smart DH and dared not to mention it during labor! And with #2, I knew I was going to start laboring soon because I started to get that funky labor smell. And sure enough, late that night, my contractions started. It didn't bother me as much as the first time around, because I knew it was just part of the process.

I thought I was the only one that smells during labor, but I have been at the homebirths of 2 friends and they smelled too! lol.
Soogie is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 06:19 PM
 
Ceili's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Bliss
Posts: 1,655
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
... that I would lose all sense of modesty during labor.

I honestly didn't care what I looked like or sounded like. I remember the midwife brushing my hair at some point and I found the whole idea completely ridiculous. It did feel go though...

I threw up tons, but I was prepaired for that. My normal responce to pain in nausea, so I wasn't suprised.
Ceili is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 07:46 PM
Kim
 
Kim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,776
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The lack of modesty -- I walked into the hospital dilated to 10cm in the middle of winter with nothing on but slippers and a bathrobe hanging open. The gawkers in the hosp lobby are something I'll never forget.
Kim is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 10:02 PM
 
girlfactory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Chillin outside of Austin
Posts: 1,199
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Modesty was completely out the window for Ivy's birth! When the EMS came bursting into my house, they were all : when they saw me! I was naked, soaking wet from being in the tub, laying on red towels, with my legs spread wide open and a baby crowning. They had the decency to toss a big plastic yellow tarp over me when they wheeled me onto the lawn, but by then Ivy was OUT and it was too late to care/worry.

Terri, sewing mama to 4 beautiful girls and the boy, Finn. We novaxnocirc.giffamilybed1.gifh20homebirth.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gifsewmachine.gif since 1996!
girlfactory is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 10:02 PM
 
kater07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,265
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Things I wish I'd been told the first time:

That my pelvis would start to separate in the 1st trimester causing serious pain for 10 months.

That sciatic nerve pain doesn't go away with massage (it gets worse for me)

That DH would not understand the pain nor would he be doting, happy to be running errands or helpful with household chores.

That our families would destroy the names we picked out causing me horrible stress.

That people would insist that they could tell a baby's gender by U/S pics of the baby's head (the only thing I got pics of). This caused me stress I didn't need. It just irritated me life out of me.

That getting an u/s would cause me more stress than it was worth... I hated that stupid thing and still hate the pics b/c I can't see anything that resembles a child in them.

That the books all lie when they tell you you get your sex drive back and that your energy level rises in the 2nd trimester.

That there are "good books" like Dr. Sears and "BAD books" like Ezzo. It would have saved me a lot of $.

That the hospital we had no choice of using (b/c we weren't supposed to be stuck there just a quick little NST... yeah right!) wouldn't have a LC on staff, and none of the nurses would know anything about nursing.

That I wouldn't be able to put my newborn down b/c he's sooooo cute!

That my whole philosophy on life would change after seeing him the first time.

That I'd never feel my milk come in even though it had

That it's ESSENTIAL to have a good double pump especially in the off chance that you MUST PUMP! OMG, that tiny little crappy single pump just didn't do the job properly. I got a good pump 1 month after DS came home after wasting $150 on rental pump, the single pump and the pump parts.

I didn't feel any of those after pains (probably due to the massive amounts of Perk I took)

BFing didn't help the weight loss at all.

That DH would chang his mind about co-sleeping on the first night DS was home. If I'd known he'd do that, we'd have spent $ on something besides the pack n play.

That babies don't have to be 3 months old to smile. DS smiled at 10 days old and hasn't stopped in 2 years. He smiled for his first pics at 6 weeks, and melted my heart.


VENTING STUFF:
That my MWs would lie to me about my health then freak out on me and scare the daylights out of my DH during prelabor landing me strapped to a bed for 30 hours before a c/s

That my MWs would quit their job at the birth center the day I went into labor thus forcing me to the hospital after lying to me about my health

That my MWs wouldn't be there for 1/2 my labor and wouldn't visit me after the baby was born

That the doctor would be rude enough to tell me not to be modest that he'd already seen it all anyway... I am still POed about that and it's been nearly 2 years.

That my butt would still be numb and tingly 2 years after a spinal and that I'd wouldn't be over the trauma of a horrid birth 2 years later, and that no doctor would be willing to help me.

That there is a horrid (now fixable) genetic disorder in DH's family that my son was likely to have that NO ONE THOUGHT TO MENTION TO US! Thank goodness there was a brilliant Ped on the day DS started throwing up bile and meconium.

That sex would SUCK and that DH would want it at 3 weeks PP just b/c the stupid doctor said it was ok. He's never quite figured out that just b/c the doc says that my body is ok, it doesn't mean that I want it or can handle it

That only my dad would think to get me a wheelchair to ride in for the 1/2 mile from the parking lot to the NICU 5 times a day for 10 days (only happened if my dad was there)

I REALLY wish I'd known that STADOL is EVIL. It it one of the best drugs to halt dilation! NO ONE THOUGHT TO TELL ME THIS, and I hadn't researched it b/c I wasn't planning on meds. Guess that makes me stupid.
kater07 is offline  
Old 07-15-2004, 04:10 PM
 
nikirj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Washington
Posts: 4,888
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've got a couple to add to my original -

PPD - when I had my first this didn't have much press, and all I'd read about it was a little blurb in "What to Expect", so I didn't recognize it until a couple years later.

Related to PPD possibly - I wouldn't necessarily feel an overwhelming immediate attachment to my baby. I didn't with DD (my first) and did with DS (my second). It took months and months to feel 'right' about DD, and I wonder now if that lack of initial feeling was an early sign of PPD, or if it helped the PPD along, or what. I didn't have PPD with my second.

That it is possible to have a milk OVERSUPPLY/hyperactive let-down. Seriously, my babies have never needed to nurse for more than 2-3 minutes on a side (one side per feeding), and because my let-down is so fierce my son couldn't handle it (he'd choke) and I had to stop nursing when my let-down started, squirt into a bottle or several cloth diapers for a minute, and then let him latch on again. It took a while to get a hang of it. How often have you heard of a baby gaining over 2 lbs by a week? Not me, I was stuck between feeling incredibly proficient, and feeling like a freak. Oh, and my milk came in within 2 days after my first was born, 1 day with my second. You may think I'm lucky but let-down HURT, it felt like someone was jabbing super-long needles through my nipples into my muscles (and simultaneously giving electric shocks to my pectoral muscles and breasts). It hurt worse than the after-pains (which were also triggered by breastfeeding), and even though my mom was a LC and lived with me at the time (never an improper latch), my nipples got sore. The pain at let-down lasted for 6 MONTHS! (Thank goodness the post-birth contractions and nipple soreness didn't last nearly that long!) But back to oversupply - I never pumped because I was afraid to stimulate supply, even though I was ferociously engorged sometimes - but I had a freezerful of milk just from catching what was still squirting after my babies were done, or catching the intial let-down that DS couldn't handle. I'd always been prepared for a mental struggle with are-they-getting-enough, and here I was wondering if my body would ever stop squirting (eventually it did, but here I am at 16w pregnant and still getting engorged if 2.5yo DS doesn't nurse on time).

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

nikirj is offline  
Old 07-15-2004, 04:56 PM
Banned
 
Mamid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Fraser Valley
Posts: 1,790
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
more stuff from my post :

that they don't tell you that once a baby starts moving around on its own, weight gain drops - but its your fault if the baby doesn't keep on gaining weight!

that PPD is an excuse used by others (read:doctors, social workers etc) when they don't want to take you seriously if there is a crisis in your life. "Oh she just has PPD." 9 months later????? I don't think so.

that people are insensitive when it comes to teeth coming in "teeth at 4 mo? that's the end of nursing! etc."

That pharmacists can be rude when it comes to things a nursing mom needs. "Ma'am, you need to talk to a lactation consultant...." I _am_ a lactation consultant! I have breastfed for over 4 years AND a doula!

That breastpumps made by baby food/formucrap manufacturers aren't worth the plastic they are made of.

That people assume you can't breastfeed because your breasts are too big/too small.

That finding a sling at Toys R Us is the equivalent of finding gold!
Mamid is offline  
Old 07-15-2004, 04:57 PM
 
pumpkinhead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: The Great North
Posts: 4,308
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
GRANULATION TISSUE! I'd never heard of this before, ever!! No one told me I could get it and that it would have to be BURNED off with silver nitrate.

Oh, and how thirsty and hungry I'd be after labour! I drank 3 bottles of gatorade, 1.5 litres of water and ate a spicy chicken sandwich and baked potato from Wendy's along with a peanut butter sandwich on wheat w/ the span of an hour!!

The night sweats. AND I had very little swelling BEFORE ds was born, but my ankles and wrists started swelling when I came home from the hospital. I was induced, so I suspect it was from all of those extra fluids.

No one could express to me how relieved and in love and nervous all at the same time I would be. At the time, every day seemed like an eternity, but now, looking back, it went by in a blurr...

Oh, and we mustn't forget about the fountians of yellow poo...Dh changed ds's dipe on am and he pooped and it was like a geyser!! ACK! He hit the wall and every diaper onthe change table.

Oh joy

Mama to Thing 1 and Thing 2.
pumpkinhead is offline  
Old 07-15-2004, 05:41 PM
 
sleet76's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: WI
Posts: 987
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
GRANULATION TISSUE! I'd never heard of this before, ever!! No one told me I could get it and that it would have to be BURNED off with silver nitrate.
me too!!! I was also one of the very few lucky ones to get this...burned off once, grew back two more times--and was sliced off with a scalpel...finally all better at 6 months pp!

Other things:

I did poop, but expected it--especially since I was induced and didn't get naturally "cleaned out".

The night sweats post-partum--have to loose all that liquid some way!

Fever when milk came in at day 5 or 6.

Hemorrohids!! Thankfully, they went away on theor own quickly.

And, being terrified to poop for months after due to pain (mostly thanks to my fun granulation tissue). Took lots and lots of colace, citricel, prunes, and other fruits and water...

Overall, though--things were great and 110% worth it and more!!!

Stacy-- Wife to my DH, mom to three: noodle girl:, Lego boy , little guy :
sleet76 is offline  
Old 07-15-2004, 07:20 PM
 
AmyB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,000
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kater07
Things I wish I'd been told the first time:

That the doctor would be rude enough to tell me not to be modest that he'd already seen it all anyway... I am still POed about that and it's been nearly 2 years.

It has been surprising to me too how angry I am at the dumb, thoughtless stuff the medical staff at the hospital did to me.

The "good" birth books warn not to give your birth away, but I didn't know they meant I would wake up in the middle of the night still seething more than 2 1/2 years after the baby was born.

--AmyB
AmyB is offline  
Old 07-15-2004, 09:55 PM
 
cottonwood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 7,153
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wish I had known that...

...a homebirth midwife, even one who is sweet and motherly and comes with high recommendations, can still make a crappy birth attendant.

...taking castor oil to augment labor would give me diahhrea and cramps from hell and would put me at risk for dehydration, and the baby at risk of distress.

...labor could take a longgggg time and therefore I should have rested while I had the chance.

...dilation checks are pointless and discouraging.

...to have my private parts touched and watched would be uncomfortable and inhibiting, and that this would hinder labor.

...if my instincts conflicted with the midwife's suggestions, I should follow my instincts.

...I didn't have to push (and shouldn't have) just because I was 10 cm. dilated.

...hold-your-breath-pop-your-eyes-out pushing is stupid and dangerous.

...depression and apathy after the birth are not normal.

...bonding is partly a chemical process dependant on close proximity for the time period that certain hormones are being released. (i.e., give me my baby NOW)

...birth is on the sexual spectrum, and that which gets the baby in gets the baby out.

...nobody at the hospital emergency room would know anything about breast infections, and would charge me $700 for the visit anyway. :
cottonwood is offline  
Old 07-15-2004, 11:17 PM
 
Summertime Mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,625
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by mum2tori
Tag MOLES!!!

Ugh would have been nice to know that those are normal from the hormones. Especially on my neck... and my breasts. Used one on the areola with DD to know if she was latched on properly.


Yeah me too!! Only I got these in a most UNLIKELY place TMI ...I know but I couldn't help myself. I've never met anyone else with that so I always thought I was wierd.
OMG!! Me too! I actually went to my OB to make sure they weren't some kind of STD.
Summertime Mommy is offline  
Old 07-15-2004, 11:29 PM
 
kater07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,265
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
GRANULATION TISSUE??

Tag Moles??


What are these things? I have NEVER heard of either.

Enlighten me please.
kater07 is offline  
Old 07-15-2004, 11:40 PM
 
Ahimsa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Somewhere in Time
Posts: 963
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I attended three home births when I was 12 and had wanted to be at first an ob/gyn and then a midwife. I was reading books like Birth as an American Right of Passage, Spiritual MIdwifery, etc. as a teenager so, I knew a lot of this going in to it. I knew that one bled for awhile after birth, but I was suprised at how stinky the lochia was. It was like something had died in there. Also, I wasn't prepared for how open to suggestion I would be. I had it in my mind that I would push when the urge came and use an upright or squatting position, but instead I did what the midwife said and layed down and pushed intensely before really feeling it. I feel this led to my son's head compression and heart decelerations and also to me tearing. Another thing, I'd always read about breastfeeding preventing periods from coming for 5 months to over a year. So, we didn't bother with protection when starting relations again at five weeks pp. Then my midwife tells me that the first six weeks are risky because you don't know if your periods will return right away or not and this could resault in Irish twins(babies 9-10m apart) So, two weeks after pp bleeding stops I had some light bleeding. Although, I was looking forward to not having a period for awhile I hope that this was a light period and not implantation. I never did experience a lack of sex drive-I was horny again 2 weeks pp.

ETA-I am two months pp right now.

Mother to two great kids. &
Ahimsa is offline  
Old 07-16-2004, 12:57 AM
 
pumpkinhead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: The Great North
Posts: 4,308
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kater07
GRANULATION TISSUE??

Tag Moles??


What are these things? I have NEVER heard of either.

Enlighten me please.
Well, are you sure you wanna know? Granulation tissue basically is when your body overheals itself. It happened to me, where I tore. Your skin heals but then puts down another basal layer of skin on top of this. So, basically, it's your 'underskin' without the protective top layer so it feels a bit like road rash....bare nerves. It's somehat painful and it feels like there's something 'there'. That's the best I can do. It sucked, but it's gone now!

Mama to Thing 1 and Thing 2.
pumpkinhead is offline  
Old 07-16-2004, 01:40 AM
 
sincitymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: on the road again
Posts: 1,755
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, all of the above :LOL
but honestly, the thing that surprised me the most? How much it hurt to pee for the first couple days. Especially that first pp pee-never mind the clots, That's when I felt like I was dying! My peri bottle was my best friend for at least 2 weeks. Oddly enough, the first poo didn't hurt so much. Freaked me out more than was uncomfortable. After all, pushing feels like pooping, so when I had to poop that first time....

Also bonding can take a long while. I knew it, but didn't expect it. The first few months of ds's life I cared for him mostly out of instinct and obligation. I didn't feel attached for quite a while.
sincitymama is offline  
Old 07-16-2004, 02:37 AM
 
TerriKay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 91
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, the whole puking thing!! I puked constantly during labor w/ dd. (At least thats what my sis and mom told me a couple months ago!!) I didn't even know that women did puke during labor until they mentioned something about my dsis and sil taking turns holding the bucket, and I was like "What?? What are you guys talking about?? I did WHAT??????" That was 8 years ago and I didn't even know I had done it!!!! That's pretty bad that I experienced it and STILL didn't know it was a possibility!!
TerriKay is offline  
Old 07-16-2004, 06:36 AM
 
BoobyJuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: where eggs fry on the sidewalk
Posts: 1,011
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Great thread. I was very well read during my first pregnancy, but there was still stuff that shocked me. My biggest problem was that I only read the happy, healthy, hippy style pregnancy books - everything is beautiful, natural and normal. I had read about things like poop and puking but they made them sound like it was very rare.

Let's see . . .

(way TMI coming up) my first big suprise was losing my mucus plug. I got out of the shower and - splat - looked like a can of cherry pie filling had been dropped. Had to go to the hospital to be checked and everything was just fine. Nothing, and I mean, nothing had prepared me for that.

Precipitous labor. Everything I read said to stay home as long as you could with your first labor. Early labor would last for hours and hours while you baked or watched TV. Every source reassures you that you will have long stretches between contractions to rest and find peace. Nothing warns you about starting in hard, active labor; having contractions that last about 45 seconds and come 60 seconds apart. I was overwhelmed, scared, and didn't know what to do.

Pushing for 3 hours. That pushing could hurt worse than labor (I dislocated my tailbone pushing). That pushing that long and hard would leave my entire body aching for about a month.

It would feel like I'd delivered the baby out my a**. (Actually one sil told me that but I didn't quite get it). Pushing for a long time will lead to hemeroids, it hurts to sit, it hurts worse to poop and I walked like I had a stick up my butt for weeks.

That having a midwife doesn't assure they'll be helpful at all. In fact some can be almost detrimental to your health. That my midwife wouldn't even make it to my 2nd birth and it would be unassisted (with complications).

It's possible to soak a queen size bed with breast milk. I leaked for months. I'd step out of the shower and leave puddles all the way to the bedroom. My son and I both smelled of rotten milk for a long time because we were always covered in it!

With my second I would bond right away like I did with the first. That I would be completely overwhelmed by having 2.

Afterpains! I had read about them, but nothing prepared me for them with #2. (I hadn't gotten them at all with #1) I would retch into a trash can while trying to nurse him.
BoobyJuice is offline  
Old 07-16-2004, 06:56 AM
 
jeanettemc's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 45
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ladies, two words for the poop, two enemas (in the first three hours). Next time it will be three enemas! Oh, and how about those postpartum Roids! whoo hoo, fun!
jeanettemc is offline  
Old 07-16-2004, 06:59 AM
 
jeanettemc's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 45
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Boobyjuice! You Are Hilarious! Thanks For The Lol!
jeanettemc is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off