Calling all C-Birth ONLY mamas! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 93 Old 08-20-2002, 03:52 PM - Thread Starter
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I want to have a discussion with all mamas that have ONLY had their babes by C-Birth. I want to create a POSITIVE C-Birth place right here @ Mothering.

This is not a place for debate or flaming.

There are just some AP mamas that don't have a choice.

Sign up here! (or pm me!)
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#2 of 93 Old 08-21-2002, 01:40 PM
 
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I've had two c-sections, my daughter is eight and my son is four. I'm now pregnant again, and am 90% sure it will be another c-section.
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#3 of 93 Old 08-21-2002, 02:22 PM
 
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i've also had 2 c-births and i am still having a hard time. i would love to join the group. -katie-
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#4 of 93 Old 08-21-2002, 02:28 PM
 
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count me in...I have a 17 mo dd born by CSB (she is my only child).
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#5 of 93 Old 08-21-2002, 03:15 PM
 
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I had a c-birth in April 2000 and although its not what I really wanted to do, it worked out being the best for my dd. I am now TTC#2 and hope to have a VBAC but if its a c-birth, I hope I won't be too disappointed.

Robin
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#6 of 93 Old 08-21-2002, 06:30 PM
 
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I am a c-birth only mama also! My dear, sweet ds will be 1 on Friday. If/when we have more kids they will come by section also!

I think what you are trying to do is great. Some times I feel left out here with all of the homebirth, natural birth, VBAC talk. I try to look at my delivery in a positive, life-affirming way now! There are two ways to bring children into this world and one way is not better than the other, in my opinion. I am so grateful that c-sections are possible because without them many of us would have never had children, had injuried children, or died in childbirth! It is a life giving surgery!

Susan
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#7 of 93 Old 08-21-2002, 06:51 PM
 
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I had our one and only dd by emergency c section (I was in premature labor at 29 weeks that they couldn't stop). She was high and transverse and the Dr. did a classic cut to get her out



I know it is what was best and safest for her. So I'm ok with it, but do feel sad that if we have any more I'll have to have a csection. I would like to find out about options for a "better" more gentle c section. (This one was under general anesthetic) My dd had to be intubated and was in the NICU and I didn't even see her for about 24 hours. (I was a physical and emotional disaster)

Thank you so much for this thread. I've been feeling really sad lately and sort of depressed about future birth options....

Oh, but dd is lovely and healthy and 13 months now....
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#8 of 93 Old 08-21-2002, 07:34 PM
 
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Thanks for starting this, Treelove. There needs to be space for us as well. I think I'm done with my one daughter, but if I got pregnant again I wouldn't be hugely disappointed nor made to feel inadequate by having another section.
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#9 of 93 Old 08-21-2002, 07:38 PM
 
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Riley's mom- this may not console you, but at least you can be sure that future c-sections will be less traumatic because they will be expected, and you will be able to prepare yourself emotionally. Part of the depression I felt after mine was because I had expected a vaginal birth. I have prepared myself for the possibility this time, so if I have to have another (tho I am going to attempt VBAC) I will be going into it knowing what to expect and feeling more empowered by education and self-preparation, and expect that it will be easier to deal with.

Just your typical non-theistic, liberal, blended family.

Thank you, Mothering, for the past twelve years of support and community. I look forward to many more.
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#10 of 93 Old 08-21-2002, 07:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lila
Riley's mom- this may not console you, but at least you can be sure that future c-sections will be less traumatic because they will be expected, and you will be able to prepare yourself emotionally. Part of the depression I felt after mine was because I had expected a vaginal birth. I have prepared myself for the possibility this time, so if I have to have another (tho I am going to attempt VBAC) I will be going into it knowing what to expect and feeling more empowered by education and self-preparation, and expect that it will be easier to deal with.
Yes it was really quite a shock...emergency ambulance ride and the whole nine yards, plus a very sick preemie baby.

I have to believe next time would be better, or I'll definitely not get pg again!
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#11 of 93 Old 08-21-2002, 08:35 PM
 
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Both my boys were born by emergency c-sections. Count me in!
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#12 of 93 Old 08-22-2002, 10:25 PM - Thread Starter
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Cool! I thought I might be flamed right outta here!

I had all 3 of my boys by c-birth. My twins were born by classical c-birth at 29 weeks. My water broke at 25 weeks so I feel really good that I was able to hold on to them for 4 weeks without meds or any major interventions. They spent 72 and 84 days in NICU.
I had my 3rd baby by planned c-birth due to the 1st time being a classical. We are hoping to TTC next year. I had found a very controversial midwife to support me in a HBAC, but I actually have a classical and a transverse cut. Also-when I'm pg-just about anything that can go wrong usually does! So a HBACC (extra c for classical) is just too risky in my eyes. I don't think I could labor without fear.

I was hoping to start this thread so we could discuss our thoughts, expiriences, etc re: our very different way of birth. It's so hard to fit into the AP world when you have had a very medical beginning and in my case ALL THREE of my boys were unable to nurse although I tried for months and in one case a year and a half!

I want to hear what YOU think.

How did you come to terms w/ your c-birth?
Have you made peace with it? If yes, then how?
How was your recovery?
How did it affect your bonding? self esteem?
What is the most important thing you have learned/gained from you expirience?

OR....just talk about anything re:c-births here.
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#13 of 93 Old 08-22-2002, 11:59 PM
 
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No flaming here, Treelove.

How did you come to terms w/ your c-birth?

I'm able to process things very well. I came to terms with the majority of it the moment I found out it was necessary. I wanted to be as empowered as possible throughout the procedure, so I put aside any disappointment in order to be fully present, knowing I would come back to the feelings later. After the birth, as things came up I allowed myself to feel angry, sad, grief, and then let go. I'm not one to blame people, especially myself, so I think it was a fairly clean and quick coming to terms.

Have you made peace with it? If yes, then how?

I'm sure I have mostly made peace with it. Things come up, that's part of the process. I made peace by accepting it.

How was your recovery?

I'm lucky that recovery was ok--I had problems with my incision and that was a drag, but it actually made me take care of myself even better. I learned to ask for help from my mother and DH, which is some thing I probably wouldn't have done.

How did it affect your bonding? self esteem?

Bonding was a challenge, and I let it be that way. I needed to take care of myself first & just had to trust that she would be ok and I'd make it up to her. Once I came out of anesthesia I really only could focus on myself. But she slept with me during those three days in the hospital and we both learned to breastfeed fairly well, and our bonding took its own time. In terms of self esteem--well, it was an opportunity to boost my internal sense of self esteem when I encountered people with the belief that I hadn't really gone through childbirth. I never felt "less than" because I had an abdominal delivery.

What is the most important thing you have learned/gained from you expirience?

Forgiveness. I had to forgive the midwive and myself.

Very thoughtful questions, Treelove-thank you.
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#14 of 93 Old 08-23-2002, 12:12 AM
 
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I still haven't been able to come to terms with my section. My dd is 9 1/2 mo old now. I really wanted a natural birth, and feel like I failed Luckily I had the support of my family, they all reassured me that I did the right thing.

I was in labor for 43 hours and hadn't slept at all, I was not able to handle the pain any longer, plus my blood pressure went up, so we transferred to the hospital (1/2 hour drive ) I got an epidural (it was waiting for me ) When I went in I was only 5 cm dialated and it had been 37 hours. I was exhausted. I did dialate the whole way, but after trying to push for about 20 min, the doc and the midwife suggested a section....

My midwife was in a hurry to get to her son's sporting event, so she wanted what would be quickest, they diagnosed me with CPD...but my baby was only 7 11...so I know that wasn't right. I felt very rushed.....

Next time I hope for a VBAC homebirth, but we'll see

About being able to breastfeed, the hospital was good about that...DH stayed with DD while they stitched me up, and then he was waiting in the recovery room with her when I got there. I called the nurse and told her I wanted to BF right away, she tried to help DD latch on, we had some problems in the beginning. I think it was due to the fact that I couldn't stay awake b/c I was sooooo drugged up.

But everything worked out.

Rachel
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#15 of 93 Old 08-23-2002, 07:39 AM
 
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Can you believe it took me 22 months to finally find a community around this? I didn't think I needed you guys until I found you (too bad there isn't an icon that can express deep gratitude!).

I was definitely feeling like a failure, esp with so many friends who had these dreamy births, including some home births with a full moon and fairies dancing, and mine went so terribly south. Long story short: 2 weeks overdue, induced, maxed on pitocin, no progress, broke my water, hard labor, wanted the drugs and they didn't work!, got an infection from being overchecked, ran a fever, baby went posterior, we are now on day 3 at the hospital on chicken broth and Jello (which isn't real food and I gave to my husband), emergency c-section, but remember the drugs didn't work, so general anesthesia that resulted in my abs getting cut because they couldn't get them out of the way, then three months of haze and fogginess from painkillers and so on. I didn't have that first moment with my daughter, that eye-to-eye first connection, that recognition. When I first opened my eyes I was too doped up to do more than glance at my husband (who was skin-to-skin with her) and fall back asleep.

My daughter is healthy and happy and just amazing, and I am healthy and alive and able to have more children, and of course that should be enough but we all know it isn't, at least not yet. So I am very grateful to know you're all out there -- I've been avoiding reading birth stories in depth and have put on the brave front etc., but the truth is I'm scared to have another child because I don't want another c-section and I'm scared to hope for a VBAC/HBAC. I'm scared to hope for something again. And I'm scared about ruptures and all the what is scenarios (which is what got me into this place the first time). And I'm also a little irritated with all of my well-meaning friends who try to help pinpoint why things went bad with my birth or how it can be better the next time around (if I get asked about VBAC's one more time ...) or what they did right. I know I'm projecting some of this, but some of it is just plain annoying, too!

Thanks for letting me share, I look forward to hearing more from all of you and growing and healing together.
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#16 of 93 Old 08-23-2002, 09:29 AM - Thread Starter
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WELCOME Mayalove!

What a wild ride you've had!

I relate to your post in so many ways. I don't like to hear regular ol' birth stories-'cause I can't relate to 'em. I LOVE hearing preemie stories or c-birth stories cause I feel more in the "norm" there.

I agree that there's more to welcoming a c-birth than just a healthy baby. C-births can make some of us feel robbed. Some are quick to get over it, some are not. My oldest are 4.5 and I still have days that I mourn our troubled beginning.

I also get sick of hearing-a healthy babe is *all* that matters-(altho that is the most important) THAT'S NOT ALL THAT MATTERS!!! I MATTER!!! WHAT I WANTED AND WORKED FOR AND PRAYED FOR AND PREPARED FOR AND HOPED FOR MATTERS!!!

I also feel like I have to justify or explain all the reasons why we had a c-birth, why we had NO other options, why we were unable to breastfeed, how long and hard I tried so "they" don't think of me as "one of those *icky* mainstream moms."

I think my c-births have really messed me up psychologically, but I think the death of my children, had I not consented to the c-births, would have done a LOT more damage....
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#17 of 93 Old 08-23-2002, 02:12 PM
 
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Something I've encountered that I get a little testy about is when people make the assumption that after my birth experience it would be rectified somehow by my having a VBAC the next time around. I know this is the case for many people, but I feel differently--it's just not that big of an issue with me. If I get pg again & have a VBAC, ok. If not, ok too :LOL. I just find it interesting when some people want to project their feelings and impressions on you, when they have no idea how I feel about my experience.
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#18 of 93 Old 08-23-2002, 03:14 PM
 
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also feel like I have to justify or explain all the reasons why we had a c-birth, why we had NO other options, why we were unable to breastfeed, how long and hard I tried so "they" don't think of me as "one of those *icky* mainstream moms."
AMEN, sistah!!!!

Background: I worked in early intervention with 2 families whose babies had brain damage - severe brain damage - as the result of negligent care during thier labor and deliveries. Both women should have had c-sections, but were not given them after many, many, many hours in labor. As a result, their children have been permanently affected. One child had to have half of his brain removed at age 1 due to near constant seziures. The other child will probably never walk. They both have vision impairments and delays in all areas of development.

So, my first pregnancy was high risk. I have a bicornuate uterus (not completely septated, but heart shaped at the top) which put me more at risk for late miscarriage or early labor. I made it all the way to 40 weeks after 3 months on bedrest and my doc decided to induce b/c my son was already 9 lbs. 5 oz. and we didn't know how my uterus might "perform" (?) if he got any bigger.

Long story short - labor did not progress, he was presenting face first, heart rate began to drop during contractions, so we went to c-section. I actually told them, "If there is any chance something could affect the baby - I want a c-section. I know two kids that have severe disabilities that may have been prevented had the moms been given one!!!" This was after we knew the heart rate was dropping, about the presentation, etc. The doc was already going to do it - but I sure didn't resist.

I did not have that much trouble after the c-section. I mean, the recovery was a pain, but emotionally I really felt like I knew what these families I worked with were facing for the rest of their lives and I was grateful to have been able to avoid that possibility. I know part of me felt a little "less than" women who had vaginal births, but that was b/c of the things I had heard them say!!!

Second baby: placenta began to detach at 35 weeks and my water broke. Emergency c-section right away. Again, would rather that than a hurt or injured baby.

I do feel like the c-sections (and the slight prematurity w/ #2) interfered with breastfeeding. I had two very sleepy boys at the breast in the beginning. We made it through the problems with #1 and bf until 10 mos. and then with #2 stuck it out for about 5 or 6 weeks and that was it.

And I didn't get to have that "immediately after birth" holding, bonding and breastfeeding time. I got to see them and touch them, but then I was being sewed up, etc. I did room in with both kids, though, and got to see each about an hour after the surgery.

I know I had some issues with not being able to experience a vaginal birth, but I guess seeing firsthand children whose moms should have had them and didn't - and what devastating results arose... kind of put it in perspective for me.
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#19 of 93 Old 08-23-2002, 03:17 PM
 
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Absolutely. I remember one time I was over at birthlove and someone had to audacity to insinuate that our situation wasn't really an emergency.
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#20 of 93 Old 08-23-2002, 03:20 PM
 
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Well, things such as this, and remarks I hear about those of us who were unable to keep breastfeeding, have made me learn a lot about not judging someone else until I know their entire situation. These kinds of things really open my eyes. I still get hurt by some of those types of comments, but it does spur me on to be less judgemental - particularly about parenting.
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#21 of 93 Old 08-23-2002, 06:10 PM
 
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Well, after posting my message and writing some notes, it was definitely the early a.m. (3:00'ish). I went to bed and when I saw my husband, woke him up and started talking. My daughter was asleep next to me. I told him about coming online and finally being able to particpate in this great forum for ME, and women like me, and the tears just started coming. He has been awesome, and for him, he was so relieved and grateful that we were alive (when we went into surgery it was the scariest thing for him -- remember we had camped out already for 3 days and his energy pretty much matched mine -- and then it up leveled to the general anesthesia, which meant he got kicked out of the room) that it erased everything else for him (expectations of the perfect birth, etc.). But for me, on the other side of it, living/dying was never the issue for either my dd or me, so all I could stew on was how I felt as if I had LOST something (but what?). So I cried deeply about it, and he held me, and then I felt Maya's sleepy hands on my back, carressing me. She was still asleep but was carressing me. It was beautiful. This is really important for me to share because, for a lot of different reasons that don't directly include any of this, our marriage has been stressful this past year.

BUT, as you said treelove, it's not really about the baby, though I don't ever want to take for granted how lucky I am to still have her. I know that. But that's not complete. I used to say (Ms Brave Front), "Oh, I had to go unconscious to get conscious," and that was totally true, but I was also hiding and justifiying the rest of the experience. I am sick of being apologetic for how my birth went, for admitting that maybe we could have made different choices (like not have a hospital birth -- how many times have I heard that one -- but we had just moved to HI two months before and I just wasn't that savvy or confident), and yeah, hey you can have a VBAC next time round! I realized last night I was too scaredd to wish or admit that (esp since I'd really like an HBAC - home birth) in case it doesn't happen. Truth is, I do NOT want to go through a c-section again, even if the drugs work this time and I stay conscious. I don't want any of that, it was totally traumatic for me and I am still dealing with it. There, I said it.

So I've been all self-righteous lately about not wanting more kids and I can see on everyone's face it's because they think my birth experience was so bad so then try to reassure me which pisses me off even more and then makes me find even more reasons not to want to have kids when really, it is in great part to the fact that my birth experience WAS bad. So, I am going to practice saying, "You know, you're right. My birth experience was deeply traumatic and I'm still dealing with it. I am really grateful to have Maya but I lost four months of my life [in recovery] where I have almost no memory, including first seeing Maya. I don't think I could go through that again. And I would really appreicate it if you would not assume that it could have been different, because I'm already spending all of my energy in that place, and you don't really know. VBAC or not, if you can't guarantee the outcome one way or another, then you don't have a say, so thanks for sharing." OK, something like that.

I have been reading the forums here and in other places, and I am going to say my truth: I want to have another birth experience, and I want to have a HBAC, and if I end up with a c-section again, while I'll make it through and still have a great time with my child as I am with Maya right now, it will still be a huge disappointment for me. I can lie and say it's ok, but it's really not, even though I know I'll get through and I'll have more tools and resources to deal with it than the last time. I do *get* that I had a paticular experience for a reason. I also acknowledge that I may have to have a c-section again if I decide to have another child. I also acknowledge a c-section may have saved my life, though in my case, I think put it more at risk (I've seen my hospital records) and so was Maya. But, gosh, it would mean a lot to me to have a beautiful birth at home with my husband and daughter (and midwife) attending. Girls, here's what I do know -- speaking our truth is so important, it's like breathing. It's not about getting what we want, it's about saying what we want, and not holding back. If I don't get the HBAC or the VBAC, it will definitely be less than ideal, but I'll know I honored and acknowledged my deepest wish. At that point, I'll turn it over. But not until I own it. Make sense?

Blessings to all of you for being there and helping me shift A LOT in less than 24 hours. I think my soul was ready for this. Love you all,

D
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#22 of 93 Old 08-24-2002, 08:34 AM
 
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Well, I don't have time to reply-reply but I want to join the discussion after we get back on Monday from visiting family (i really have to pack - don't know what I am doing on here it is SUCKING me in at 7 am EST LOL)

Anyway, I had csection for failed induction (and I mean FAILED - no contraction ever after 20 hours of cervidil, max pit, cervidil, 2 epidurals for painful exams due to cervidil slipping and swellign my vagina - lovely feeling) - induction for pre-eclampsia at 38 weeks, ds was up high and definately not ready to go and never dropped AT ALL so they wound up vacuuming him out of my uterus anyway - except via the csection. I worked as an ICU trauma nurse until 36 weeks, full time night shift, including stretcher transport and CPR and was very "cavaleir" about my whole preg, wishing for "natural birth" but doing nothing to exercise, eat well or anything of the like. I feel in some ways like I failed myself for not caring (I mean I cared but I was really busy and I guess kind of know it all, but now looking back it was really know-NOTHING LOL) and trusting too much the medical profession.

I do not feel that I missed bonding or anythgin of that ilk, that I am less than somebody who birthed vaginally, but I felt like crap for days after with fevers to 104 (no infection, just hormones) my milk didn't come in until day SIX (he is still nursing at 25 months and I am also 16 weeks preggo) and I feel like I just was a sheep being led to a csection. The whole induction SUCKED and I wish they would have just done the csection instead of torturing the crap out of me for a whole day, puking and whatnot, it was really terrible.

Anyway, I DO want to have a VBAC with this birth, primarily because I do not want to be separated from my little love (ds 25 months now) and I do not want to be cut open again because it hurt like hell and I hated being sick. I know I have a chance of c-section for various reasons like postmaturity (I am going to CNM and will have a hospital birth but they will not induce and I will not allow induction either) or if I have pre-eclampsia there is NO WAY I am getting any Magnesium ever again they can do a csection for that and I also have a history of genital herpes which is totally not active and hasn't been for over 10 years but you never know and I know that is a possibility as well. But I accept that. But I am still afraid. I don't want to have to fight for my VBAC, and I want a healthy baby. I also don't want people telling me what to do because it is what the policies or procedures are, and I am going fully armed and educated to the best I can be this time, taking my vitamins, not working, trying to have a positive experience (i was such a bitch last time) eating well and exercising so if I have to have a c, I know I HAD to have a c, not because I just did what they told me. KWIM ?

Anyway - I do lie, because this is pretty long, and I must go but I think we all share a "bond" from this experience no matter how your experience went.

Thanks for starting this thread.
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#23 of 93 Old 08-24-2002, 09:40 PM
 
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hi everyone! I'd like to join in too

I have two boys, 11 and 4, both c-births


How did you come to terms w/ your c-birth?

both times I got to have a beautiful baby, that was the important thing to me, though I was disappointed at first - I know I did my best for my kids and myself in our own circumstances - I don't mean that my hopes etc did not matter, they mattered less than having my kids in my life, and for me there are way worse things than a c-birth

Have you made peace with it? If yes, then how?

see above!

How was your recovery?

first time it was very swift recovery, I felt fantastic after a hard pregnancy and was just so delighted after 2 miscarriages to finally have a child

second time I was older, had a hideous failed epidural (took 45 mins to get it in situ then it only numbed my skin so the birth part - where my dear ob had a lot of trouble unwedgeing my son from my pelvis where he was well stuck - was very painful) and developed a shocking UTI and mastitis postop, was in hospital for 10 days, it was totally cr@p

How did it affect your bonding? self esteem?

no blows to bonding or selfesteem whatsoever

What is the most important thing you have learned/gained from you expirience?

I'm a mother regardless of how I got to be one. I wish it had been the "normal" way but I did my best - probably akin to how I feel about my first son weaning at 12 months - it would have been much better for both of us to go on but it wasn't going to happen so we picked up and moved on

when I was pregnant earlier this year I was once again reading up on VBAC but I wouldn't have been horrified to have another c-birth (though NO ONE will ever go near my back with epidural needles again)


I feel for those of you who are still obviously in distress from your birthing experiences, they are such emotionally loaded times and strong feelings are so appropriate

Treelove thanks for opening a space for sharing our c-birth stories


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#24 of 93 Old 08-25-2002, 12:32 AM
 
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i had a c section with our 1st.. .I went in with a migraine and came out with a baby... I think that i was probably a bit preenclampic because of the amount of watter i war retaining and the headaches and just about everything else but the high blood pressure... So i wen tin with a migraine at 37 weeks and came out with a baby.... For me the c-section was terrible... They wouldn't let my hubby call anyone and tell that what was happening and i did have an epidural and I was concious the whole time... The obgyn that did the c section said after words that the reason for it was because my uterus was heart shaped so it wasn't big enough near the bottom... (They didn't tell me that other stuff though!!!!

So i guess ds couldn't turn the right way.. (he was breach that was the reason for the c setion and they couldn't turn him... THey tried for an hour... VERY PAINFULL!!!

That said when we did get pg again i was all for a repeat even thoug the recovery for me was terrible and it took forever, but the c section was all i knew...

With ds 2 we did have a vbac, but he was too big to come out and after pushing for over 3 hours close to 4 i didn't have it in me to push any more... So they used forceps and he had a broken collar bone... If i had know that would happen i would have just gone with the repeat c section.. .I have to say the recovery was better for me though...

DS was soo crabby for the 1st year of his life and i do wonder if it had to do with how much pain he must have been in from that broken collar bone being pulled out a place he was just to big for....

Warm Squishy feelings for everyone....

Hope i wasn't interrupting..

It's lonely being the only XX in a house of XYs.
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#25 of 93 Old 08-27-2002, 03:52 PM
 
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My kids are 8 and 4 and I am pregnant again. My daughter was an emergency c-section because her umbilical cord prolapsed - in case anyone does not know, that means the umbilical cord entered teh birth canal before her head, so every contraction pressed her head against the cord, cutting off her oxygen supply.

How did you come to terms w/ your c-birth? For me it was very easy - the choice was a c-section or a dead baby, not a hard choice.

Have you made peace with it? If yes, then how? Again, it was easy for me, I had a healthy baby, and to me that was all that really mattered.

How was your recovery? Both of my recoveries went well, my second was actually easier than my first.

How did it affect your bonding? self esteem? No problems with either.

What is the most important thing you have learned/gained from you expirience? That I am just as much a mother as any woman who has had a vaginal delivery - and that I can be proud that I made the right decision for the health of my baby.
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#26 of 93 Old 08-27-2002, 10:01 PM
 
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<b>How did you come to terms w/ your c-birth? Have you made peace with it? If yes, then how?</b>

I have had both of my kids via C-section. The first time around it was unplanned, basically I had a very long, putzy labour. Got to 7 cm in the 1st 12 hours and then STAYED there for the next 25. I had back labour (horrific, and the whirlpool was BROKEN!!!). I was disappointed, yes, but it did not devastate me. I am a pragmatist by nature, I was prepared to do whatever needed to be done. Also, I had a great midwife who was very supportive, I felt that I was doing it for the right reasons for me and that I was not giving up. I think that what helped me reconcile things was being able to breastfeed. The incision certainly made it difficult to get a comfy position, and I was zonked out for the first 12 hours or so after the birth...the nurses on the ward gave her a bottle, I am convinced she got nipple confusion, we couldn't get a good latch for a couple of weeks. In the meanwhile, she was losing weight, crystals in her urine. I was really stressed. We were getting ready at the same time to move back to India, and I absolutely HAD to make breastfeeding work, there was no way I was going to mix formula with New Delhi tap water, boiled or not! With the help, encouragement, and persistence of my midwife and an excellent lactation consultant I was able to finally breastfeed her, and did so until she self-weaned at 14 months. I climbed mountains to breastfeed her, and this really helped me feel better about not having birthed the "natural" way.

With #2 I tried for a VBAC, knowing full well that my chances for having another C-section were significant. Again, I laboured for 30 hours, back labour, and got stuck again, this time at 5 cm. Sigh. I didn't want to have my labour augmented with Pitocin, my midwife agreed that this was a good call due to my previous section. The pragmatist in me kicked in again, faster this time, and after 32 hours labouring I had Sam via C-section. I felt great, that we'd made a good call.

<b>How did it affect your bonding? self esteem? </b>

Bonding was not an issue at all. I was able to hold and nurse both of my babies within minutes of the birth. I did feel a bit lousy about myself the first time around, I really hadn't prepared myself for the possibility of a section. I felt guilty that maybe if I'd been in better shape my body would have been better prepared for the endurance test of a long labour.

<b>What is the most important thing you have learned/gained from you expirience? </b>

What has really sunk in for me is that no matter what kind of labour I had, I know I personally did my best, I did great. Plus of course I had my two beautiful babies. Also, I know how strong my body indeed is, having recovered from 2 C-sections, the second one with an active 18 month toddler in tow. Also, I really believe it is critical to trust and have confidence in your midwife/doctor.

Happy mumma to Mr. S (7) and Ms. D (9) .
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#27 of 93 Old 08-30-2002, 03:06 PM
 
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I haven't visited this thread for awhile. I have tears in my eyes. I am glad we can all share here together

How did you come to terms w/ your c-birth?

Through time, much discussion, much thought, many tears.

Have you made peace with it? If yes, then how?
Yes, by allowing myself to accept that we made the best decisions we could, and knowing I would do the same again, I wouldn't change a thing.

How was your recovery?
Mostly not too bad, a few weeks, but I still have the CS "shelf" tummy

How did it affect your bonding? self esteem?

We bonded well, although in the early days I swear she liked Dh more (He was there while they stitched me up; they had that magic time alone together). I did get to BF about 1/2 hr after birth, but we had MASSIVe BF problems, and sleepy baby problems I think may well have to do with the CSB.

Self esteem ? blown to pieces over having to transport from my peaceful homebirth scene to the hospital for emergency CS. Blown further to pieces by the difficulties BFing.

Thank goodness we were able to BF successfully; that has been very healing.

What is the most important thing you have learned/gained from you expirience?

This is a biggie !; Don't judge other people, especially not based upon what you see/think you know about them. I am sure there are people in my homebirth/friend/playgroup circle who think I whimped out on our birth. Thy don't know what really happened that day/night/day. I don't know why mommy xyz is feeding with a bottle, so I just assume she is a mommy loving her babe as best she can. Period.

Good thread....sometimes I don't know where I "fit in" here as far as my birth experience goes... somewhat homebirth, somewhat hospital, CSB, but not VBAC...maybe we need our own space ? A Cesarean Section Birth Forum ? Anyone ? Is there enough interest ?
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#28 of 93 Old 08-31-2002, 12:02 AM
 
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I had a very positive c/s experiance. My son was breech I so I was scheduled to have a c/s on my due date. I'm such a chicken when I comes to pain and I couldn't imagine being operated on awake so I choice general anesthisa. The only thing I was feeling sad about was missing the first seconds of my babies life. The operating room didn't allow cam corders so my dad who is a private investigator and is used to hiding small cameras to bust people, rigged my hubby up and he hid a camera on him so I can have a video of my sons birth. Before I was even put out, I told my husband to stay with the baby the whole time and not to let him out of his site untill I wake up.....and he did. I woke up and my husband was in the recovery room with the baby next to me. I also felt fortunant enough that I lifted weights and walked 2 miles a day through out my pregnancy because I helped me have a speedy recovery.
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#29 of 93 Old 08-31-2002, 01:28 PM
 
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I think I am just now coming to grips with my section....my dd was born almost 10 mo ago.

I had a good conversation with my mom about the whole thing, she was there from the beginning of labor until after the delivery. My CS wasn't a complete emergency, but at the time it felt unavoidable....I was diagnosed with CPD, althought my baby was only 7 11 at birth, but when she was delivered they had to have another doctor to come in just to push her head through the birth canal, and when she finally came through they heard a "pop" from the suction. I guess she was in there pretty tight....

Anyway, my mom said "you know God is always looking out for us, and even though you didn't have to be *rushed* into the operating room, maybe you went in before some really big problems happened. Why would you have wanted to wait until it became such an emergency by putting your daughter through so much more stress, your body was tired and so was your baby."

Now reading that sounds like such a cop out, but it helps me come to terms with the whole thing.

So here is my question to you ladies.....Am I or would I be less of a mom because I had an epidural? I feel like here on MDC that people view me as such (not me in peticular but all moms who ended up not *natural*) I went through Bradley classes, and I understand and agree with the natural process of birth. But with my next child I am not sure if I want to birth at home or in the hospital with medication close by. I had a long labor (43 hours) and for the most part the pain was fine (until the last 5 hours or so) but I am so scared to go through it again.

Part of me feels like a huge wimp for even thinking of an epidural, and the other part of me feels that it is so wonderful that they have medication available if you are in such pain, why suffer?

Any of you feel that way?

Rachel
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#30 of 93 Old 08-31-2002, 02:15 PM
 
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Am I or would I be less of a mom because I had an epidural?
------------------------------------------------

The way you give birth doesn't mean your going to be less of a mom. There or many moms who give natural birth and who turn out to be horrible moms and then there are moms who have kids with epidurals that are great. Now, it's a fact that babies born with no meds are usually more allert when they are born, but if you absolutly cannot handle it, then I feel it might be a little tramatic on a baby. I say that because when my sister had her first baby in '86, the doctor didn't believe in pain meds and she screamed the whole time and started hitting people.....she completly lost it. My sister is really small (4'11") and the baby weight 10 pounds! she tore so bad......she should've had something.
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