sad news re ultrasound (m/c ment) - Mothering Forums
I'm Pregnant > sad news re ultrasound (m/c ment)
karenpl's Avatar karenpl 01:34 AM 12-31-2002
Well, my 'what if's' came to happen :-(
No heartbeat.
Gestational sac measured 6 to 7 weeks, and I am 8.5 weeks now.
It also just looked emptier than it did last time :-(

I have an appt with my ob for Jan 2.. They called her office. She wasn't
in, but one of her collegues was She could see me right then if I
wanted I told them i would prefer to wait for my own ob. I didn't want
to go through my whole history with somebody I don't know. I figured
there wasn't anything they could do anyway

They were really nice. Expected me to fall apart, even brought me a box
of tissues, asked whether I would be ok to go home by myself. I was fine
though, or at least outwardly so.

I guess it just was too good to be true. This makes miscarriage #6 for this year.


Stacymom's Avatar Stacymom 01:39 AM 12-31-2002
Oh Karen, I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. I can't imagine the heatache and discouragement you must be feeling. I know of the pain and sorrow of miscarraige, and your post just made me cry. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Lucky Charm's Avatar Lucky Charm 01:41 AM 12-31-2002
Oh Karen...I am so sorry!

Hmmmm....i never know what to say, i have miscarried, twice, but never 6 times in a year. sigh. If i were right there next to you, i would hug you and hold you for however long you needed.

my heart goes out to you.
the sun will shine again, this i know to be true

SummerLover's Avatar SummerLover 01:45 AM 12-31-2002

I'm so, so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I've only had one miscarriage a few months ago and feel I'm still recovering.

Hugs and much love to you.
Envision's Avatar Envision 01:48 AM 12-31-2002
Hugs to you...

I don't know what to I will say that each time I meet another mom who is or has experienced loss, I think to myself that now my babies in heaven (1 baby and 1 miscarriage) and their angel babies have met...that brings a bit of peace to my heart.

Be gentle with yourself...

Big hugs and tears for your lost baby,
adinal's Avatar adinal 01:53 AM 12-31-2002
Oh honey....
I am so sorry to hear this. I was pulling for this to be good. I am so sorry.
SpringRain's Avatar SpringRain 01:56 AM 12-31-2002
karenpl...I'm so sorry. I was so hoping that this was the one! Please be gentle with yourself over the next few weeks.
batty's Avatar batty 03:30 AM 12-31-2002
I am so sorry for your loss.

XM's Avatar XM 03:47 AM 12-31-2002
Oh, I am so very sorry to hear that, Karen. I have followed this pregnancy of yours with much joy and I am so sad to hear this news... how heartbreaking.

Yes, please do be gentle with yourself. I cannot imagine how hard this must be, but do know that we are here for you.

Wishing you peace,

birdwomyn's Avatar birdwomyn 06:41 AM 12-31-2002

My dp and I are so sorry to hear your news. We were so excited and hopefull for you after reading about your difficult year.

Hopes and prayers for you as you seek answers.

Brandonsmama's Avatar Brandonsmama 11:13 AM 12-31-2002
I am so very sorry. . .peace to you and your family.
Annais's Avatar Annais 12:46 PM 12-31-2002
I'm so sorry; I'm thinking of you, please take care of yourself.
mirlee's Avatar mirlee 12:53 PM 12-31-2002
I was very saddened to hear of your loss. I don't know what to do other than to send you many hugs and keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
tnrsmom's Avatar tnrsmom 01:02 PM 12-31-2002
Kraen, I am so sorry. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers.
Pynki's Avatar Pynki 01:25 PM 12-31-2002
oh Karen.. i am soo sorry....

I am soo sorry.,.. I know this is every womans nightmare... I'll be sending you warm squishy feelings all day....

I know i don't know you "personally", and i don't know your medical history and i am by no means a dr or anything like that, but since this makes six miscarraiges this year i would seriously push for some investigation as to why they are happening.. Sometimes people have miscarraiges, but if you have more than 3 in one year your dr should be looking into why....Some reasons may include something called APS or anti phosolipid syndrome... It can cause blood clots in the placenta that can cause miscarraige... Some other auto immune problems.. and of course chromosonal abmnormalities...

I don't mean to sound preachy or anything, but i can't imagine trying to deal with 6 much wanted pregnancies ending in miscarraige.. So everything i have put here is out of caring, not anything else... I do hope you are getting the gentleness you need right now...

Warm Squishy Healing Feelings...


AmyG's Avatar AmyG 01:31 PM 12-31-2002
I am so sorry. One miscarriage was devistating for me--I can't imagine what 6 in one year must be like. I hope that you can figure out what's causing them and find a way to carry a baby successfully.
chrissy's Avatar chrissy 01:33 PM 12-31-2002
Oh Karen, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Love, peace, and gentleness to you and your family....

Eman'smom's Avatar Eman'smom 02:25 PM 12-31-2002
I'm so sorry you are going through this again, (((hugs)))
Aurora's Avatar Aurora 02:54 PM 12-31-2002
I am so sorry!

I am praying for peace and answers for you and your family.
mommybritt's Avatar mommybritt 07:14 PM 12-31-2002
((((Karen)))) I'm so sorry for your loss....
MamaSoleil's Avatar MamaSoleil 08:23 PM 12-31-2002

I'm so sorry.

Peace, Love and Harmony,

karenpl's Avatar karenpl 04:27 AM 01-01-2003
Thanks so much for all your support, it means the world to me!
I am doing ok, have accepted that it isn't going to be and am planning my strategy for the next attempt. And hey, I am improving, I made it farther with this one than with all the other losses this year!

I have had all kind of testing done, with my gp, and she declared me totally normal, which surprised a lot of people :-) Progesterone a bit on the low side, but I have been using progesterone cream the last two times to take care of that.

I got referred to an ob, who had plans for even more testing, but found myself pregnant instead, so testing got postponed. I think she will want to wait one cycle and then we can do the testing cycle. At least the good thing is that I have a totally documented miscarriage with her now, so maybe that will help to, to figure out why things are going wrong.

My gut feeling says that the first five miscarriages were hormonal in origin. It took me way longer than normal to get back into 'hormonal balance' after my 2yo and I suspect I had some hypothyroid issues for a while too. From all that I have been reading, most likely the hormones around my ovulation were off and I was ovulating 'immature eggs'. They can get fertilized, but will lead to the very early miscarriages I have been having.

Then my hormones were getting back on track, and things seemed to be going ok this time, but I suspect that there were genetic issues at play this time, that I must have ovulated a 'bad' egg. So I just need to be sure that I will ovulate a perfect egg next time and I'll finally have my keeper!

Emotionally I am doing ok. I know it sounds morbid and sad, but you really do get used to it if it happens time after time. The first one somehow was way harder than this sixth one. It is just the same old thing happening again. I have dealt with it before, I will deal with it again, and if anything, it makes me even more determined to get it right next time! And the timing is good for a new year, with new chances, new possibilities and hopefully finally a keeper pregnancy!

I bought champagn yesterday, somehow the idea of drinking champagn which I otherwise wouldn't have, kind of helps me heal. Not sure why, it is not like I would have missed or, or like we usually do it, but it seems symbolic to do it this time.

Of course it helps that I have kids already. Both in a practical way (I can't really feel too sorry for myself if the dinner needs to be made, butts to be wiped, fights to be broken up). And in an emotional way, I know too many people who have been trying for 8 years or so for their first, which is way way way harder. The only thing is that the 2yo keeps growing and growing and I so wanted to give him a playmate his age. And everybody around me keeps getting pregnant and having babies and I feel left behind. But I will get over that.

I have been keeping busy, as usual, did tons of baking, cleared off the island between the living room and kitchen (one of those clutter magnets), and even got started on the fridge. But it was late in the day and toddler's help was a bit too much, so stopped that one :-)

Now I am waiting for the bleeding to start and wondering whether I should have a d&c or not. Have started some reading about it, but could use some more input on pro's and contra's. I also just realized that most likely I will need anti-D, because I am rhesus negative and hubby is positive. Will have to ask the ob. The other miscarriages were so early that it wasn't an issue, but not sure about this one.

OK, hope 2003 will be a great year for all of us!
HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all!!!

Karen, back to the drawing board yet again
NaturalJoy's Avatar NaturalJoy 01:58 PM 01-01-2003
Hi Karen, I am so sorry for your losses. I remember you from the TTC board here and just feel so very sad for your situation.

I have borderline low progesterone. With my 1st pg, I started on it a bit late at 5w. With my 2nd pg, I was too late and miscarried. With my 3rd pg, my dr had me start on progesterone at 3dpo. If I wasn't pg, I could stop, if I was, I needed to stay on it. He had me on a high dose of 100mg 3x per day. This has been my healthiest pg so far. I think it's really important to start on it soon after ovulation, instead of waiting until you have a positive pg test. That way, your lining gets built up immediately, before the embryo even implants. I've done a lot of reading on the creams and some studies have shown they don't increase your levels that much. You may want to consider taking Prometrium, which your dr can prescribe. It is the natural form of progesterone and you can take it orally or vaginally.

As for the D&C vs. natural m/carriage. That's such a personal decision. I chose to miscarry naturally, but my body was already working on it so I didn't have a waiting time. I have a friend that waited 4w to miscarry naturally. So, these things can take time. But that's up to you whether or not you want to wait.

Wishing you all the best and a happier 2003. I can't imagine how painful this past year has been for you.

Take care and blessings!