"You won't be getting any medals for natural childbirth" - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 03:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Aaaagh! Don't you just hate that line??

I heard a mother say it on "A Baby Story" this morning. Like we choose natural childbirth as a macho thing, to show how bad we are. Like we didn't choose it because we believe it to be the best thing for us and our babies!

The young daughter of a friend of mine is having a baby in the next few weeks. They did the Bradley class with us, and the daughter was hoping for a natural childbirth by the end of the class. They talked to the nurses and doctor at the hospital they are using about not wanting an epidural, and she got that line. It just makes me crazy .
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#2 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 03:33 PM
 
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Okay, sure. But years later my hubby still brags about our wonderful and natural births to folks. It makes me smile.
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#3 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 03:33 PM
 
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YOu know, I actually hate A BABY STORY for that reason. It seems like nearly every time they show a mom trying for a natural childbirth, something goes wrong and she needs pitocin, or an epidural, or a csection.

I can't watch it anymore anyway because a) I HAVE to have a csection so it would just be depressing; and 2) I don't want my son to watch a Baby Story because I think it would scare him.
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#4 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 03:55 PM
 
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I was actually watching that this morning, too, and I just bristled when she said it. The other thing she said (just before that line) was "I don't know WHY anyone would ever wait or not want to get an epidural", then the "no medals" line, followed by "just ENJOY it!" (without the pain, of course).

I have no judgement for women who chose an epidural if they are making an informed decision about it. But to say "I don't know WHY anyone would not want one" just says to me that you have no clue what the risks to mother and baby are of having one OR what the benefits of NOT having one are - it is an ignorant comment.
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#5 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 05:03 PM
 
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I agree! When pg with ds, dh and I went to Bradley classes and MIL thought I went off the deep endfor not wanting an epi. I had so many people try to convince me that I should get one. Please, it was an awesome experience that I'm planning on again!

Steph, wife to C, mama to O :, E , and I :.
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#6 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 05:47 PM
 
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No doubt, it's beyond me how anyone could enjoy it without FEELING it! That makes no sense! Sure, it can hurt pretty bad, but what a loss to miss out on all the other sensations!

People always sound shocked when I mention a HB and no drugs. They think I did it because I'm so brave or something. YEAH RIGHT! I did it because I'm a giant chicken who knows what happens at the hospital and NO WAY am I going there unless it's life or death! Besides, I'm so scared of needles I'd take labor pain over a needle in my spine (~shudders~) any day of the week!

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#7 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 06:03 PM
 
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I don't know if it was the same show, but this afternoon I saw one where a woman said something to the effect that she's getting an epidural becasue she's not winning an award for valor. You know what happened? Her labor stalled out and her doctor decided to go with "Plan B." Would she have had to have a c-section if she was aware and in charge of what was going on in her body? I guess she'll never know. And when people challange me on my choice to not go with pain relief I'll just tell them that I want to know that my body can do it and I don't want to be a c section statistic.

I still watch a Baby Story. Its kind of like a train wreck..... but it seriously makes me sad to watch disconnected moms being told to push (and being told that pushing is not intuitive. i dunno how our foremothers did it!) and not even getting into it emotionally. I just couldn't imagine it that way.

mama to L (4) and G (1.5)
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#8 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 07:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The baby shows are sort of like a train wreck! I have to watch, but I still complain about them.

Grace's Voice, I'm with you - I don't like hospitals, and while I'm not afraid of needle, I have a complex about anything to do with my back, like surgery, or needles in the spine. My SIL told my husband there was no way I was going to make it without an epidural, and I told him I am WAY more scared of a needle in my back, or being in a hospital, than I am of having pain, even down there!

I personally don't care if a person chooses an epidural, although I wish more women would just do the research and really think about it. I just hate it when people assume you're not going to have one because you want to show how tough you are. That's so annoying to me! They reduce it to it's lowest denominator by making it seem an act of ego.
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#9 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 09:02 PM
 
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[QUOTE=grace's voice]

People always sound shocked when I mention a HB and no drugs. They think I did it because I'm so brave or something. YEAH RIGHT! I did it because I'm a giant chicken who knows what happens at the hospital and NO WAY am I going there unless it's life or death! QUOTE]

I agree with you. The other night I was at my dh's holiday party, and one of the women, who I know fairly well, just had her baby two weeks ago. Nobody knows we're having a hb, and I don't think it's anyone's business, but I just had to say something when she said, "Anyone who chooses not to have an epi is crazy". I raised my hand and said "me!" I told her I was more afraid to get one and lose control of my body than have the pain. She kinda shut up about it then.

As for the baby shows, I saw the one this afternoon where the woman said she knew she wanted an epi since she concieved. Then she was in the hospital, and they took her in for a c-sec because she wasn't progressing. She was at 6cm, and the dr. gave her two hours. I mean, Two Hours?! Give the woman a chance! They said the baby was fine, just wasn't progressing. Oy!

aka ~lioneyes~ :: In love with DH :: DD 5 :: new sweet baby girl 3/14/2011~ both born at home in water
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#10 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 09:24 PM
 
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what you mean you don't get a medal. I am sooo dissapointed you see my dd is 18 months now and I was waiting for mine to come in the mail. I thought the mail was just slow. Had I known I wasn't going to get a medal I would have gone ahead and taken any drugs availablebecause it had nothing to do with the health of my newborn or anything.
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#11 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 10:01 PM
 
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At Thanksgiving, my cousin (K.) was talking to MIL, who had 2 natural births. K was SHOCKED that she didn't have epidurals and then said, "Well, I could never do that. You must just have a really high tolerance for pain." The worst part was that MIL DOES happen to have a really high pain threshold, so she agreed! :

I'm just praying everything with this birth goes as planned, so that I can show K. that even we weenies can give birth naturally with the right preparation and attitude.
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#12 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 10:18 PM
 
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Hey, I don't know about you, but I'm BAD.

(also hate that show)
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#13 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 10:41 PM
 
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I heard that line so many times with both of my births. My husband actually made me a beautiful certificate that I have framed in my office. See you do get an award for not using drugs!!
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#14 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 10:50 PM
 
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Totally annoying! Especially when it comes from the medical community! Today even my maxillofacial surgeon & his assistant had "something to say" about it.

It's funny how this society with such puritanical zero tolerance policies "couldn't even imagine" beginning life without the "right" drugs in tow Drugs are bad... unless you're doing the most natural thing a woman can do besides walk!

Wife to my of 10 years, SAHM to my 2 beautiful homebirthed girls Sydney (4/29/2006) Kennedy (3/21/2010) & 1 super Newfoundland
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#15 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 10:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asher'smom
I heard that line so many times with both of my births. My husband actually made me a beautiful certificate that I have framed in my office. See you do get an award for not using drugs!!
: That is *so* awesome!

Wife to my of 10 years, SAHM to my 2 beautiful homebirthed girls Sydney (4/29/2006) Kennedy (3/21/2010) & 1 super Newfoundland
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#16 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 10:55 PM
 
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The medal is giving birth to a baby with no drugs in his body, nothing to interfere with the nursing process, and nothing to hinder bonding with his mommy.

It's interesting that women who have a successful natural childbirth talk about how wonderful the experience was (me included), yet you never really hear women who give birth in a hospital with interventions go on and on about their amazing experience.

Formerly New Mama to Henry, born August 2005 and Silas, born November 2010.
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#17 of 65 Old 12-06-2005, 11:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grace's voice
No doubt, it's beyond me how anyone could enjoy it without FEELING it! That makes no sense! Sure, it can hurt pretty bad, but what a loss to miss out on all the other sensations!
My sentiments exactly!

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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#18 of 65 Old 12-07-2005, 12:14 AM
 
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We don't have cable, but I was watching one of those baby shows at my moms this past week, and there was a mom trying for a natural birth but not coping well with the pain (mind you, EVERY shot of her she was flat on her back)...they talked her into Nubain I think...and she was miserable and hated it, and then her baby started having heart decelarations and she needed oxygen and baby needed oxygen afterwards and the Dr. ADMITTED ON NATIONAL TELEVISION that the pain meds cross the placenta and can negatively affect the baby...including such (i think awfully important) things as breathing and heart rate....
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#19 of 65 Old 12-07-2005, 01:49 AM
 
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If anyone said that to me, I'd want to slap them...

We don't get medals for raising healthy, well-adjusted families, but that's what we want to do regardless, right?

I'd just expect most people to be tolerant of your personal decisions, regarding childbirth choices, and not be demeaning about it.
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#20 of 65 Old 12-07-2005, 03:29 AM
 
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I just gave birth less than 48 hours ago and what I feel is 10,000 times better than any award, medal or certificate. I feel fantastic and amazing and totally in awe of myself, my strength, my body and knowing that women all around the world do this every day makes me feel like I belong to this amazing thing.
So yeah, you don't get a medal. You get WAY more than that.
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#21 of 65 Old 12-07-2005, 03:35 AM
 
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MY MEDAL FOR A DRUG-FREE BIRTH:

-Jazzy came out wide eyed, alert and fully consious of her surroundings

-I got to feel all those yummy endorphins after the birth

-dd nursed within 2 minutes of being born and latched on like a champion

-I could get up and walk after I birthed her holding her in my arms

-I get to tell her all about those things when she's older
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#22 of 65 Old 12-07-2005, 03:49 AM
 
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I have heard that many times. My mother for one has said something to that affect. For me the award came in the feeling of dd's warm body as it touched my inner thigh. Knowing that she was born without all kinds of stuff in her body. The feeling of my ds's head crowning of knowing at that moment I was doing what I was made to do. That is my reward.

The feeling as I look back on both my natural unmedicated births is that at those moments in time it felt as tho I was the most powerfull woman on the earth. To me labor and birth all comes together to make the whole experiance. I didnt want to miss a second of it not the pain of it not the joy of it.

I am always afraid to say how it made me feel to other woman for fear of offending some one who had meds and/or epi. I hope I have not done so here.

 
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#23 of 65 Old 12-07-2005, 10:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital
...
So yeah, you don't get a medal. You get WAY more than that.
I *did* want to show how tough I was! (providing all went well, of course - and it did) I got an *immense* ego boost, which, frankly, I needed (I had *low* self esteem for years). There were times afterwards that I thought I couldn't do something requiring a lot of physical strength or endurance (like weight lifting or exercise, or just something even psychologically difficult). I had to stop & think "Wait a minute...girlfriend - you went thru natural childbirth! After that, everything else is a piece of cake!"

I, too, am terrified of anything going into my spine unnecessarily. Not of the needle...of the fact that someone's mucking around in your SPINAL column. shudder.
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#24 of 65 Old 12-07-2005, 01:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital
I just gave birth less than 48 hours ago and what I feel is 10,000 times better than any award, medal or certificate. I feel fantastic and amazing and totally in awe of myself, my strength, my body and knowing that women all around the world do this every day makes me feel like I belong to this amazing thing.
So yeah, you don't get a medal. You get WAY more than that.
Wow! Congrats mama!!! Welcome to your little one!

~Rebecca~
mama to a sweet girl , & 4 silly boys

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#25 of 65 Old 12-07-2005, 01:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ~lioneyes~
As for the baby shows, I saw the one this afternoon where the woman said she knew she wanted an epi since she concieved. Then she was in the hospital, and they took her in for a c-sec because she wasn't progressing. She was at 6cm, and the dr. gave her two hours. I mean, Two Hours?! Give the woman a chance! They said the baby was fine, just wasn't progressing. Oy!
Wow, unbelievable! I waited until about 8.5cm to go the hospital and once I arrived the entire hospital atmosphere slowed my labour down drastically (heck I took a 45 min nap at 9cm!). At 8.5cm when I arrived, it took me another 7.25 hours before I started to push, 8 hours total before DD was born. Sadly it would seem that doctor has no idea what happens in labour.

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#26 of 65 Old 12-07-2005, 02:08 PM
 
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My metal...

Healthy wide awake baby

Latched on great right away

I had a surreal minute when the baby was laid on my chest.....I did it : It was like time had stopped....kinda like after an orgasim..

I wanted to start dancing.....started walking around almost right away. :

I got to push when I said I was going to push (ds1 and dd were very medical )

I got to freak my mainstream friends out with my mad strength. : I kinda like the shock value

I learned to trust my body and celebrate how beautifully it was created :

I don't think I have ever felt closer to God....I know he was my doula

I actually had a ton of fun during the pushing stage....I was cracking jokes.....it was great :

I am tearing up just writing this......it was so beautiful.... :

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#27 of 65 Old 12-07-2005, 04:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by B52Bombshell
I *did* want to show how tough I was! (providing all went well, of course - and it did) I got an *immense* ego boost, which, frankly, I needed (I had *low* self esteem for years). There were times afterwards that I thought I couldn't do something requiring a lot of physical strength or endurance (like weight lifting or exercise, or just something even psychologically difficult). I had to stop & think "Wait a minute...girlfriend - you went thru natural childbirth! After that, everything else is a piece of cake!"

I, too, am terrified of anything going into my spine unnecessarily. Not of the needle...of the fact that someone's mucking around in your SPINAL column. shudder.

I was the same way, super low self-esteem. Even the thought of team sports sent me to tears. I felt weak, inferior, and inadequate. The fact that my mom told me repeatedly throughout my life that I could never handle childbirth, even WITH drugs, was a HUGE motivator! I AM a giant wimp, and my mom does have a very high pain tolerance. Yet, she has extrememly negitive memories of birth, and the most negitive is her one (unplanned) natural birth, whereas I have only good things to say about my (planned) natural birth. Planning, education, and motivation make all the difference. But I really think the #1 thing that determines how labor and birth go is a positive attitude!

Holly, eternally in love partners.gif with Kolby, Raising Juelie Anise (10y), Behnjamin Shen (6y), and Coen Syaoran (4y). Expecting June 2013 2ndtri.gif

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#28 of 65 Old 12-07-2005, 05:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nepenthesea
The baby shows are sort of like a train wreck! I have to watch, but I still complain about them.

I cannot stomach these programs any more. After my first homebirth I now scream at the tv while watching--raises my stress so I would have to agree with the above statement

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#29 of 65 Old 12-07-2005, 06:08 PM
 
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there was a mom trying for a natural birth but not coping well with the pain (mind you, EVERY shot of her she was flat on her back
Oh my god, I cannot imagine labor on my back. It's not at all comfortable in the slightest to lay on my back now, and I've got 9 more weeks to go! It seems like it would be excrutiating to have to lay on my back the whole time through labor. I've been all about my exercise ball and squatting, even now just for exercise/stretching when my back and hips feel sore...feels a million times better then laying down.

Quote:
People always sound shocked when I mention a HB and no drugs. They think I did it because I'm so brave or something. YEAH RIGHT! I did it because I'm a giant chicken who knows what happens at the hospital and NO WAY am I going there unless it's life or death! Besides, I'm so scared of needles I'd take labor pain over a needle in my spine (~shudders~)
I feel the same way, exactly! Doctors and epis scare me far more then labor pains. I handle stress/pain much better in the comfort of my home, with few people around, going inside myself and dealing with it there. There is no way I could relax in a hospital.

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#30 of 65 Old 12-07-2005, 07:58 PM
 
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People still watch "A Baby Story"? Doesn't high blood pressure put women in the high-risk category? I'd think that show'd be counterindicated during pregnancy.
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