I need some encouragement - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 01-23-2003, 04:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm in the care of an OB who I trust and have come to like more and more through my pregnancy. I've been pleasantly surprised at how laid-back he's been with me. I assumed I'd be fighting to get my way the whole time....we've actually agreed on everything so far.

He respects that I do not want to be induced this time. I was induced with both my older children and want to go naturally this time. I'm a week from my due date today.

At this morning's appointment, he told me if I were his wife, he'd be inducing me now due to baby's size. He's guessing this baby is larger than my last already (she was 8.9). He didn't do an internal exam today because I didn't request one and frankly, I don't think I'm making measureable progress. He said he'll still let me go a week past my due date before we'd have to talk about the risks, and I'm glad for that.

However, I'm exhausted. I have enormous trouble sleeping at night and the weight I've gained in the last week is without a doubt ALL WATER. I have no ankles to prove it. I'm impatient, which is natural, but I need some encouragement to stick it out. I say I trust my body will do its thing in its own time, but believing that is becoming increasingly difficult.

Thanks for letting me vent. And please, if you do reply, keep in mind I'm not questioning my choice in an OB. Thanks again.
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#2 of 17 Old 01-23-2003, 04:28 PM
 
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Chelle....

I will try and encourage you. i was induced and it was nasty. i had to spontaneous labors which were much better.

Try not to fret.....stay positive. remember, you could always change your mind, meaning if you wake tomorrow and cant stand it, you could call your OB and he would induce you. use this thought to keep you going, knowing fully well that your doctor not only supports your choice to go naturally, he would also honor your request to be induced. kwim?

as a nurse...keep an eye on those ankles, and dont forget to get your urine checked, ok?

you can do this!
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#3 of 17 Old 01-23-2003, 04:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, sweetbaby. That is a way to look at it. Maybe knowing I can get out of this whenever I want will help. Something better, or my husband might find another place to stay til baby arrives. *L*

They checked my urine and bp this morning. Both looked good. I've reduced sodium and upped the water even more (argh) and I prop my feet up at night and sleep on my left side. Keeping my feet up the last couple days has made a big difference. Wearing my flat shoes has helped, too.
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#4 of 17 Old 01-23-2003, 06:29 PM
 
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Knowing that basically the baby's not gonna come until the baby's ready.....have you been trying any of the more "natural" alternatives to speed things along?

Ie sex (solo or with dh, both your orgasm and his semen will help things ripen); taking evening primrose oil (9 capsules a day, helps form prostaglandins); acupuncture if you have an acupuncturist available, or acupressure on the right points (look in the book The Birth Partner); nipple twiddling (uncomfortable but produces oxytocin); even having your OB do a strip and sweep of your membranes if you're willing. I'm sure there's more, but these are some that are pretty efficacious!

I can totally sympathize, I went almost 2 weeks overdue last summer, and was getting ready to try castor oil to avoid a hospital induction when I finally went into labor.

Hang in there!

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#5 of 17 Old 01-23-2003, 07:48 PM
 
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Have you done a belly cast? How old are your other two? Maybe their hands could be part of the cast.

Go to the movies, go out to eat, paint your toe-nails, get a pedicure, do as many "you" focused things as you can think of.

Try not to let yourself get to freaked about the size of this baby. Your OB could very well be off on his measurements and I firmly believe that your body and this baby know what they are doing.

Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself and your family (when you can )

Blessings
Sienna
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#6 of 17 Old 01-23-2003, 08:03 PM
 
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As you know, I am totally rooting for you and your soon to be completed natural labor! I web-researched this question, this is the most often-cited website, and very comprehensive, from a midwife discussion group archive:

http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/natinduc.html

My midwife said that nipple stim. is very effective, so effective that I should be careful! One book advises to roll both nipples between thumb and forefinger for 2 minutes on, three minutes off for 20 minutes total, in order to avoid contractions that are too strong. I am taking some of the herbs that are recommended on that website (black and blue cohosh, motherwort and raspberry leaf tinctures) but I consulted with a local herbalist before I decided on which ones and what dosage. I didn't feel like I could make a decision just based on the web's advice on herbs, which are basically drugs when you get down to it.

I've heard great things about accupuncture or shiatsu (accupressure). If you lived in my area I'd set you up with my friend who does shiatsu, she loves to start labor for people. Could be worthwhile just to help with the discomfort you are experiencing. I have found both to be really relaxing.

Lots of people recommend sex in various forms. My mom, on the other hand, has been recommending walking!

If you go into labor first, and I suspect you will, keep me in mind. I will do the same for you and for the other women I know of who are due when we are. The spiritual energy is supposed to help, too. This birth is going to be great for you, and your nice OB is going to be happy that he didn't insist on inducing you because it's going to go really well.

(No, I'm not psychic, why do you think my screen name is Captain Optimism? )

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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#7 of 17 Old 01-23-2003, 08:38 PM
 
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I know that when you get to this point, the thought of induction can seem really appealing, just to get it over with. But if you have had it in your mind that you want to do this naturally and you back out now, you will probably be dissapointed in yourself later. Not to mention the fact that pitocin has so many risks in itself. AND TRYING TO DELIVER NATURALLY WITH PITOCIN SUCKS!!
It's horrible, I've tried it. I know your'e miserable, believe me I know, but I would stick it out. A lot of women on MDC have had incredible success with the natural induction techniques previously mentioned. (i did get a kick out of hearing someone mention painting your toenails--I'm thinking, I cant hardly see my feet much less reach my toenails ) I have also heard people rave about the acupuncture. Anyway, hang in there and try to stay busy. Many blessings coming your way
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#8 of 17 Old 01-23-2003, 09:44 PM
 
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I read your post several times to make sure I understood everything. To me, everything sounds normal. Meaning I don't see a medical reason to induce. Please don't worry about the size of the baby. S/he will not get too big, your body is growing her/him exactly the right size.

I agree with the poster who encouraged you to plan some fun things for yourself. Is there any way you can get a massage? That might really help. More ideas...plan something really fun for next week and the week after. Something that you would really like to do; a nice dinner at your favorite place for example.

I don't mean to flame other posters but I would really, really discourage you from using any of those natural induction ideas. Induction is induction is induction, whether you are using cohoshes or pitocin. Let your *baby* decide when s/he's ready to be born! You've waited 39 weeks, hang in there a little longer, you can do it!!!

I speak from experience when I say that birth is MUCH more enjoyable when left to happen naturally. Jake was pit induced, Kai was born naturally at 40w6d. Their births were like night and day in terms of the pain, even though Kai's was actually longer the pain was more tolerable. And at the end I was pretty tickled with myself for sticking it out and waiting for the baby. I also wanted to mention that a baby can have developmental delays if born before they are really ready, including trouble nursing. That was a big one for me; breastfeeding is very important for me so I didn't want to do anything to possibly jeopardize that.

Finally, I wanted to say that it is *wonderful* that you have a good relationship with your OB! I think trust is an important part of birth, including trusting yourself...Listen to your heart, you'll find your way.

Take care and keep us updated. I'll keep you in my thoughts and keep wishing you and the baby a peaceful, healthy birth.
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#9 of 17 Old 01-24-2003, 01:33 AM
 
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I told you we're twins. I am 38 weeks today, and I had my u/s Tuesday at the pressure of my CNM's to estimate fetal weight at 9 lbs 1 oz and I have 2 weeks to go. Also was not checked for dilation per my request. Also gained ALL WATER and have no ankles this week and I think it is from big baby pressing on the veins. I had pre-eclampsia last time which led to failed incution and c/s so I am paranoid but I don't have p/e this time, I am healthy as a horse. I am VBAC and cannot/will not be medically induced so there is less pressure altho the CNM still use Pit for gentle induction and still have said the "i" word but for me, big baby is not enough for me. Even had a firm conversation to that point last week that I'd get scanned but didn't want to be hearing "your baby is 10 lbs" every time I saw them becaus I don't care if it is 12 I am still attempting the VBAC. I haven't hit the wall completely yet, getting close but I want to go naturally, completely natrually this time, because it is my best, and last shot, at a VBAC. Trust your body. Trust your baby. That is all I can say. And you ahve birthed before so YOUR body KNOWS what to do. Give it time, space and love.

As for the "if you were my wife" I HATE that attitude from doctors. I know you like your OB and that is great but I hate when I hear that. Stay strong, and rest.

((hugs))
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#10 of 17 Old 01-24-2003, 09:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ladies,

I cannot express how helpful this thread has been. Thank you all so much for your support.

I didn't tell anyone at work yesterday that the doctor would like to induce me. NO ONE would understand why I don't want to be induced. I would get a lot of pressure to just "get it over with" and I have enough of that from myself (having been up since 4am doesn't help).

I tried talking it out with my husband last night. He's seen induction work twice and knows I'm miserable...so he thinks "why not?" He is supportive enough to not put any pressure on me and we're going to take it one day at a time.

Knowing that I can call the doctor and say I'm ready OR that I can wait it out has given me some degree of control.

I did some nipple stimulation last night to see what would happen. Holy CRAMPS! I decided that's just too scary. I'm not comfortable with the herbal route...I'm chicken and I'm not sure how long things have been sitting on the shelf at my local (only) health food store. For now, I'm taking it one day at a time, and re-reading this thread again and again.

Thank you all so much for your advice and your encouragement. It's nice to have this page to look at when I get really discouraged.

zombiemommie...you're having trouble with carpal tunnel in your right arm, too, right? I found that tucking my arm into my body as if my arm was in a sling while laying on my left side seems to help. I have to wear a shirt to bed (normally I don't) and not wear the sleeve so the shirt holds my arm against me. I hope that helps!
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#11 of 17 Old 01-24-2003, 02:43 PM
 
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chellemarie, I've been reading this thread and just wanted to congratulate you on enduring a few more days of pregnancy, which will reward you with a labor and birth experience much more fun than any induction!

Eagerly awaiting the details of your NATURAL labor and birth! Good luck and best wishes!
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#12 of 17 Old 01-24-2003, 04:20 PM
 
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I know it is hard to hold up against pressure but I think you will be glad you did. Try getting a message... not necessarily to induce, just to feel good. I had one at about 7 1/2 months and again at 8 1/2 and it was awesome. I slept better for days afterward and it helped with my water retention. Maybe if you feel a little better being pregnant and get a good nights sleep the whole thing will seem clearer.

In terms of what to take, etc... I wouldn't worry about old herbs. Herbs just lose some potency, but they don't change like some chemical pharmecuticals will. Also, maybe someone can help me out here... is limiting salt actually helpful? I was pretty sure that a moderate salt intake was very important for regulating water in your tissue.
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#13 of 17 Old 01-24-2003, 04:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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kama'aina mama...I've read that it's not good to cut out too much salt. In the last couple of weeks, I've been eating a handful of the micro popcorn rather than half the bag, avoiding anything canned that says "25% (exaggerating, but you get the idea) daily sodium per serving", not ordering the pizza that makes my feet swell when I'm NOT pregnant (I don't know HOW they get all that salt in there. Woo!) Just being a little more selective and careful, but not overly crazy, kwim? It has helped quite a bit. I haven't struggled as much to get my shoes on in the morning the last few days.

I'm feeling much better today. Sort of. I have a tummy ache. TMI Alert: I thought it was gas...but that much gas would have um, been more productive than that, I think. I'm hanging in there. Thanks for all your support and advice!
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#14 of 17 Old 01-24-2003, 10:01 PM
 
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chellemarie,

I was induced with ds1 and yuck! With ds2 I went 7 days overdue and boy was I ready for induction, but I stayed away from it, DH offered his prostoglandin services and my son Reilly decided on his own sweet time to kick into labor on the 7th day over the due date--I was so afraid that my body didn't "know" how to go into labor on its own. But baby Reilly knew how to get things started, and what a gentle labor it was compared to the first!

Each stage was progressively harder but it was like hiking up a gradual incline--I just took each contraction as it came and rested between. I made it through naturally--which was my personal goal--and had a drugfree, vaginal birth in the hospital (though I showed up 40 minutes before he was born--boy were the nurses pi*sed!).

Reilly was born on April Fools, so the day before, on Easter, I ate everything in site and held back tears, thinking about how I was *supposed* to have a baby to show off. But he chose when he started labor--and he was right. It was the perfect time.

So good luck to you, and stay strong through this. Relax and get peace where you can, and you can do this!

Mel
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#15 of 17 Old 01-25-2003, 01:07 AM
 
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chelle honey, please hang in there!!! let me tell you, my first two children were inductions, and their labors and births were not NEARLY as wonderful as my third, which I was able to go into labor on my own for........... the experience was so totally different. I highly recommend getting your membranes stripped-- I had it done a couple of weeks before my due date, and then at 40 weeks--- it did the trick!

Mel
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#16 of 17 Old 01-25-2003, 03:02 PM
 
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every pregnant woman has a deep desire to hold her baby and to get the pregnancy over with. Even the most crunchy of it would say "YES" to are you ready to hold your baby.....

But you are right, your baby will come when he or she is ready and not when your dr or you are ready.

Guess it's a way to teach us patience...cuz we will need it after the baby comes as well

I'm right there with you!!!

Rebecca Due Feb 7th.

wife since 1992; mom to: J 7-95; H 5-98; C 2-03; S 4-05; Micah Zachary born still UC 4-08; UM 9-08; due June 2010
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#17 of 17 Old 01-25-2003, 03:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Cuddlebaby...you really ARE right here with me. I'm in NE, too.
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