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First Timers!!!!!

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#1 ·
Hey there, first timers!

My name is Margaret, I'm 9 weeks into my pregnancy and even though the ladies in my due-date club are amazingly wonderful, almost all of them have been through this more than once already. I need people like me who feel confused and terrified and overwhelmed by the entire experience.

So let's be first-timers together, ok?

Tell me about yourselves ... about how long you've wanted to be a mother, and how long you tried to get pregnant, and when you're due, and what you're feeling, and any questions that you have that someone else might be able to answer.

I've wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember, but my fiancee and I started really thinking about being parents together a couple of years ago and then seriously thinking about it last fall. I went off birth control in January and got pregnant the first week in March. Nice to know that my family's famous fertility didn't skip over me. I'm due November 26th, I'm both terrified and elated at the same time, and I can't think of any questions I need to ask right now!
 
#2 ·
Congratulations!

I am another first time mom-to-be! I got pregnant in February and my baby is due in November too. We had tried back in September and then started again in February so I think we are quite fertile. I am excited, nervous and mostly scared! However, I am feeling more confident as the weeks go by. I will have my first OB appointment next week and that should be a relief. I am not sure if we will need an ultrasound and/or hear the heartbeat but it would be nice to hear the heartbeat for reassurance.

I lurk more than I post but I have just started reading about Attachment Parenting. My baby's dad read the book (by Dr. Sears') and loved it (which is exciting!). We are planning to co-sleep, sling and breastfeed.
 
#3 ·
Hiya! I got pg in August, am due in mid-May (getting close now!), and am planning a homebirth.

We'd been trying for a bit over a year and half and had one miscarriage almost as soon as we started trying. A year later we pretty much gave up and resigned ourselves to waiting until we had the emotional strength to handle infertility treatment. We were so happy and relieved when we totally unexpectedly found ourselves pg, and really delighted that confluences of vacations and final exams and things made it really easy to pinpoint conception/due date.

I've wanted this since forever, but had to wait until DH was ready. He's a couple of years younger than I. Our EDD is actually his 25th birthday!

We decided together very early on that we didn't want a bad hospital experience to be a motivating factor for future homebirths, so we're starting off with a homebirth, although my fear of a necessary transport turning into a traumatic experience if hospital personnel decide to be abusive to me because of "no prenatal care" led us to seek dual care, so I'm seeing a hospital CNM/OB practice as well as my CPM homebirth midwives.

So far my only pg complications have been excessive weight loss in my first tri borught on by severe nausea (not really the throwing up type morning sickness, more just being too grossed out by food to eat right or to eat enough) and prenatal depression, to which I am prone anyway.

I think the biggest issue has been the social changes that seem to go along with a first pg. It was extreme in my case because we had a couple of other major changes around the same time as getting pregnant, but it seems most women have trouble maintaining the pre-preg, pre-baby social circle. I've lost most of my friends and am trying to make new ones, but it's a challenge.

Now that I've been babbling for a while, I'll let someone else join in.
 
#4 ·
Hiya!

Well, EmmetnLindley, it's nice to know that there's at least one other first-timer in my due date club. I have my first appointment next week too and I'm counting the seconds until then! I think that the first appointment is what's actually going to make this real and that's super exciting.

And tie-dyed ... sounds like you and I had the exact same kind of morning sickness. There were two weeks there when I really just couldn't eat solid food at all. But I still haven't thrown up (knock on wood) and I've been feeling better, so hopefully it's coming to a close.

I'm interested to know more about the social changes you've been going through. My friends have all been hysterically excited about this. Some of them are a bit confused by the timing of it, but that's about it. See, I'm getting married in two months and they're not quite sure why I would want to be pregnant before the wedding. But the easy answer to that is that I am really literally going to be barefoot and pregnant at my wedding. Could I ask for anything more hippie-ish?


So, very nice to meet you both, and let's keep in touch.
 
#5 ·
Hi, this is my first as well, a girl, due in June. I'm in MA as well. We're having a homebirth with a midwife. Oh, I'm 27, and my husband is 34. The best thing I found to do so far this pregnancy was to really interview care providers at the beginning of pregnancy rather than just picking one. I asked a lot of questions about birth, and that made me feel at ease and like I picked the people who best mesh with my ideas of how I want the birth to go. You can also find stats for interventions like c-sections and episiotomies at MA hospitals online via mass.gov in the Health & Human Services section.

The best books I've read so far have been "Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer and "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin. A lot of people like "Birthing From Within." I didn't really get into that one, but your mileage may vary. Books by Sheila Kitzinger and Penny Simkin are also good. I'd stay far away from things like "What to Expect."

I've had a physically easy pregnancy so far. The biggest surprise for me was that a pregnant body apparently signals open season for stupid comments - your baby is too big, your belly is too small, that kind of thing. I've heard lots of disparaging things about our plans for cloth diapering and breastfeeding and co-sleeping, and I've learned to just not discuss things or be prepared to say "ok, whatever." People also pulled a nutty when we said we wouldn't circumcise if it were a boy.
 
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