SO upset with 'D'H - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-04-2006, 09:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So I was thinking last night about L&D... originally I wanted my sis, mother, and MIL in the room along with DH and I ...Okay, not *really* MIL, but I was in a weak moment when I first brought it up, thinking it *may* be our last (but probably not) ... But anyhhow... I told Matt last night that I may change my mind about who I want in the room during all this. He tells me (jokingly) that I can't go back now, after letting these people think they'll be there... THEN goes on to say that basically it's a disgusting thing to watch, and he doesn't care if he's in the room or not (!!!)

Okay, first of all, I don't care if he watches, I don't WANT him to actually WATCH, but I'd like him to be there to support me! and the fact that he said it was disgusting... GRRRRRRR! Sorry, but this isn't what you tell your wife who is pregnant with your 4th child, trying to learn as much as possible (because I've just began doing things *right* for us, and am still learning) and who is over emotional to begin with, REALLY...

Okay, sorry, just needed to get that out... :

♥ SAHM to my 5 kiddos ♥
2/01, 12/02, 4/05, 7/06 and 10/08
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Old 05-05-2006, 12:03 AM
 
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s mama! I know that most men probably think that it is disgusting but I always tell mine that you were there when it started you are going to be there when it is finished!

Good luck! Remember you can always change your mind!

Warmly,
Melissa
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Old 05-05-2006, 12:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks! I mean, I've told him from day 1 with #1 that I don't even WANT him down there watching, I just want him up by me being supportive... *I* didn't even wanna watch it, but the whole fact that he said he doesn't care if he's even THERE or not... that's just really not a nice thing to say to your preggo wife...

And yeah, I'm still thinking about who I actually want in there... my sis is an awesome support person (and it looks like I'll need a good one) but I think I'll get out of MIL being there... she just rubs me the wrong way

♥ SAHM to my 5 kiddos ♥
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Old 05-05-2006, 03:43 PM
 
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If you don't want your MIL there, I would tell her now. Yes, she might be hurt, but hey, you're the one giving birth here, so your feelings and level of comfort must come first. When I was pg with my first, I had asked my best friend to be there for the birth, but then as it got closer, I changed my mind and really wanted it to be just me and dh. I was nervous about it, but told her how I was feeling, and it was really no big deal. I realize things might be a bit more diffficult since it's your MIL, but I think it's very important that you surround yourself with people who will be supportive and with whom you feel very, very comfortable.
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Old 05-05-2006, 06:17 PM
 
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Exactly -- he doesn't have to "watch" -- he just has to hold your hand and tell you how awesome you are. Just remind him how much easier that job is than YOUR job in this whole thing.

I expect my DH to be planted firmly at my head, as he is pretty squeamish.

Hugs to you, mama, hope he comes around.

Mimi :yawning: the happy mama of one DD & one DS ; married to my sweetie.
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Old 05-11-2006, 05:23 PM
 
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I'm sorry mama your dh was having such an insensitive moment. That wasn't a very nice thing for him to say to you. Hopefully he will realize how it made you feel and apologize. As for your MIL... this is your birth and you need to be the one made comfortable... have whoever you want in there or don't want. Being a mother herself and having gone through birth she should understand. Good luck to you.
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