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#361 of 443 Old 02-13-2007, 06:20 PM
 
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Thank you all for the wonderful responses!! I have calmed down now... I took it really bad at first but now I am trying to look at it as 'it's very difficult to tell tone from an email' perspective. I'm still a bit worried, but I plan to call her today and see how I feel and if I want to set up a further interview from there. I don't know whether all of Nevadais homebirth friendly or not, but Vegas seems to have lots of overly medical midwives. But really when you get down to it, even THEY are far less interventive than normal OB's in this town.
Thanks again!
Teia

Update: I just got off the phone with the midwife... meeting with her. Phone conversation went well!!
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#362 of 443 Old 02-13-2007, 07:17 PM
 
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. I don't know whether all of Nevadais homebirth friendly or not, but Vegas seems to have lots of overly medical midwives. But really when you get down to it, even THEY are far less interventive than normal OB's in this town.
Thanks again!
Teia
I also live in Nevada and have since 1979. I have had friends that do homebirths with lay midwives. I made the statement that it is illegal in our state and that may be too strong a statement because I have not checked the law KWIM.

We used to have some certified nurse midwives that practiced in the hospital but could only see patients under the supervision of an OB. In our area they did away with them and we can not have midwife assisted births in our local hospitals. What I heard was that the OBs in town did not want the midwives. They were only ever allowed to deliver Medicaid clients anyways. They were the lucky ones in my opinion. I live in the north.

It has always been hard to get into OBs because there have never been enough to go around and when one retires there are not younger ones to take their place. I have never had the luxery of seeing a female OB.

The lay midwives will take on certain ladies for homebirth but they are very protective of their identities. You have to know someone to help you make the connection. There are only three that I know of for an area of about three hundred square miles. I don't imagine they travel very far out of the city. My friends who have used them also have OBs that do their prenatal care. If you say anything about planning to do a homebirth they drop you from their practice. What women do is kind of explain every thing happened so fast we couldn't make it to the hospital on time. This is so they are not at risk of any interferance.

If anything goes wrong with a homebirth here an ambulance is called but the midwife at that point does not follow the woman to the hospital. She is on her own.

So to the best of my understanding lay midwives can not legally practice in Nevada.

There are not any OBs here at all that will do VBACs or breech deliveries.

I have a friend who is married to a doctor and she deperately wanted a VBAC and a homebirth. She had a wonderful birth but they could not discuss it with any of their doctor friends because they were worried for his career.

We have very few birthing options here but it may be better in Vegas.
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#363 of 443 Old 02-13-2007, 09:07 PM
 
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To my understanding, Nevada is one of the states where midwifery is legal, or at least that midwives are not licensed or regulated by the state. I know that it's been in the news here that women were actually turning to midwives for their birthing needs because the overwhelming number of medical malpractice suits was causing many doctors to turn away new patients. It's crazy the way that all works sometimes.
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#364 of 443 Old 02-13-2007, 09:39 PM
 
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To my understanding, Nevada is one of the states where midwifery is legal, or at least that midwives are not licensed or regulated by the state. I know that it's been in the news here that women were actually turning to midwives for their birthing needs because the overwhelming number of medical malpractice suits was causing many doctors to turn away new patients. It's crazy the way that all works sometimes.
DD was born in Vegas and I think I remember hearing that there are some pretty awesome midwives there (I was still stupidly in the mindset that hospital was best--hence my completely horrible c-sec experience at UMC--urgh). Anyway, I also know there is supposed to be a great midwife in St George, Utah as well who does a lot of travelling--in fact, there are a lot of midwives in Utah so you may want to check that out as well. Also, just to let you know. . .my second child was born in a state where midwifery is "illegal" but I had a wonderful midwife who was not afraid to go to the hospital with me if need be--we just would say she was a close family friend.

Barbara:  an always learning SAHM of Ilana (11) and Aiden (8) living in Belgium with my amazing husband.

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#365 of 443 Old 02-15-2007, 03:11 PM
 
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I am seriously dreading my medical 'care' during this pregnancy. For various reasons, I will be having another hospital birth this time around. While my first was miserable, the baby was born vaginally and I had no complications other than less than sympathetic hospital staff---it's important to me to have medical staff and help within reach. (I understand why people choose not to go this route, but for my family, it's right).

Anyway... we're part of an HMO--Kaiser Permanente. The hospital and the insurance company are one and the same. This is positive in the fact that they have an extremely low c-section rate--I think it's about 12%. My husband says it's about the money. That's fine by me. It makes me feel like I'll be less pressured. The problem with being part of an HMO is that you are limited in your access to medical providers--they have who they have and you don't have a choice to go outside of that. There are 3 hospitals, 2 of them have birthing centers. The one I signed on with has midwives on staff.

I plan to give birth with the assistance of a midwife, but am expected to see the OB first on the 3rd of next month. I have no interest in seeing an OB. I have no interest in having repeated arguments about my weight (about 250 lbs). I just really don't want to have to deal with all of that!

Last week I went in to get all of the in take papers done and talk to the nurse. She gave me the run down on pregnancy--all things I already knew, then told me about all of the tests they needed to run. The list includes rubella, chicken pox, EVERY SINGLE STD (I'm married!), and the glucose test--AT 4 WEEKS 4 days!

That says to me this is going to be a struggle for me. I told the nurse that I had had a complete CBC done just three weeks before and that everything was normal. I also told them that in college I donated eggs and know that I don't need genetic counseling. They ordered that, too. Ugh. 6 viles of blood later--after sitting in a lab waiting room with my three year old for an hour, I was irritated.

Sorry about my rambling--but it brings me to this, how so I center myself in a way that lets them know that I am not an idiot, that I am in control, and that I don't not plan to have my pregnancy treated as a disease to be cured. I fear standing up for myself may result in them telling me they won't care for me, but I don't think they can do that as they're my insurance provider, as well.

I am so fearful of meeting with the doctor and having him tell me that becausse of my weight I'll be considered high risk. With my daughter I had a normal pregnancy, normal labor, normal (epi'ed) delivery. I plan to have a drug free birth this time as the pain AFTER/FROM the epi was so not worth it! But, I just need to feel like I'm not going to immediately be made to have a glucose test monthly because I'm overweight. I eat better and more healthfully than most people I know. And, I really don't want to have to hear about my 'habits' every time I go in.

I'm sorry, but is it just me, or have fat women NOT been giving birth, nursing, and raising their babies since the beginning of time?
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#366 of 443 Old 02-16-2007, 02:57 PM
 
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I hear you! I want to relax and enjoy my pregnancy but so far the docs are making that tough.

My OB insisted on a pelvic and a pap a week ago and I have been bleeding red ever since. He says it is not a problem. It is for me. HE has been such a PITA in the past I almost suspect he did something to mess up the pregnancy. I was supposed to have a vaginal ultrasound to check on the bleed I have had since eight weeks but it was getting better, very minimal brown spotting. Before I knew what was happening I felt a speculum inside of me, even dh does not know where it came from. I asked the OB and he said we had to do a pap and pelvic first. He is already doing it so what can I say at that point. I have been bleeding red ever since and honestly I feel taken advantage of, rape is too strong of a word but he definately did that against my will. I had every intention of declining had it been offered and dh and I talked about it beforehand.
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#367 of 443 Old 02-16-2007, 03:25 PM
 
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I am so sorry mama. That is just not ok. Can you go to someone else?

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I hear you! I want to relax and enjoy my pregnancy but so far the docs are making that tough.

My OB insisted on a pelvic and a pap a week ago and I have been bleeding red ever since. He says it is not a problem. It is for me. HE has been such a PITA in the past I almost suspect he did something to mess up the pregnancy. I was supposed to have a vaginal ultrasound to check on the bleed I have had since eight weeks but it was getting better, very minimal brown spotting. Before I knew what was happening I felt a speculum inside of me, even dh does not know where it came from. I asked the OB and he said we had to do a pap and pelvic first. He is already doing it so what can I say at that point. I have been bleeding red ever since and honestly I feel taken advantage of, rape is too strong of a word but he definately did that against my will. I had every intention of declining had it been offered and dh and I talked about it beforehand.

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
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#368 of 443 Old 02-16-2007, 03:46 PM
 
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We start with the new doctors on Friday. I hope things will start to go better with this pregnancy. Thanks for understanding.
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#369 of 443 Old 02-16-2007, 08:29 PM
 
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I hear you! I want to relax and enjoy my pregnancy but so far the docs are making that tough.

My OB insisted on a pelvic and a pap a week ago and I have been bleeding red ever since. He says it is not a problem. It is for me. HE has been such a PITA in the past I almost suspect he did something to mess up the pregnancy. I was supposed to have a vaginal ultrasound to check on the bleed I have had since eight weeks but it was getting better, very minimal brown spotting. Before I knew what was happening I felt a speculum inside of me, even dh does not know where it came from. I asked the OB and he said we had to do a pap and pelvic first. He is already doing it so what can I say at that point. I have been bleeding red ever since and honestly I feel taken advantage of, rape is too strong of a word but he definately did that against my will. I had every intention of declining had it been offered and dh and I talked about it beforehand.
I would definatly report him to the medical board and anyone else you can think of. That is not OK. And what could you have done about it? Tell him to get his hand out of your body! There is NO WAY I would have let him continue. On the other hand, I have never gone to a male OB either.
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#370 of 443 Old 02-17-2007, 01:49 PM
 
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I would definatly report him to the medical board and anyone else you can think of. That is not OK. And what could you have done about it? Tell him to get his hand out of your body! There is NO WAY I would have let him continue. On the other hand, I have never gone to a male OB either.
I know, I guess at the time I figured he's already doing it and we needed the ultrasound and some questions answered. I have had the same experience during labor with nurses and doctors doing things I wasn't comfortable with. It is just so hard when I am in a vulnerable position and often they start out doing one thing that I have agreed to and then begin doing another without even asking. That is what happened. My husband is not one to stand up to anyone medical so while he is a dear man he is of no use to me either. He still thinks anyone with a medical degree knows best.

I am feeling pretty hopeless right now about the future of this pregnancy. I have been spotting for five weeks now and the last week has all been bright red.
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#371 of 443 Old 02-17-2007, 06:24 PM
 
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Momuveight2b... Can you report him and switch providers? You don't want to stay under his care, do you?

Well, I'm going to jump in here. I read the first and last page! It'd take me forever to read all 17! :

I was 295 when I became pregnant w/dd. I lost 30 lbs while pregnant b/c I was so sick. So, I was 265 when I became pregnant w/ds a year later and gained 10 lbs. Since then I've worked a lot on my emotional and physical health so I could have another baby b/c I am going to do a HBA2C. I was 204 and a size 16 when I got pregnant this time. I'm 11 weeks now and I've gained 10 lbs b/c from wks 2-6 I wanted to eat everything! I was sick weeks 6-10 and have decided I'm done w/that! I don't know if I'll gain a lot. It'd be weird to gain weight w/a pregnancy, b/c I tend to lose! After this babe I know I'll lose the rest of my weight. So, if anyone asks how I lost weight I'll tell them I had 3 kids!

So I'm hitting that akward stage where ppl are not sure if I'm gaining weight/fat or pregnant! Geez. I'm excited though. I just bought regular clothes that are one size bigger to wear for now and after I have the baby. I'll probably get some maternity clothes in month or two.

Glad to be here. Sorry for the long intro.

January
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#372 of 443 Old 02-18-2007, 03:37 AM
 
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momuveight2B I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through!! I'm very nervous about that sort of thing too since about 99% of my experiences with doctors and especially nurses has been bad so far. Since you say your husband doesn't feel comfortable standing up to medical personnel, do you have an assertive friend you could have go with you as a support person?
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#373 of 443 Old 02-18-2007, 03:43 AM
 
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DOula! Doula! DOula!

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
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#374 of 443 Old 02-18-2007, 04:51 AM
 
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DOula! Doula! DOula!
: As I read airmide_m's post (but before read yours) I was chanting to myself: doula, doula, doula.

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#375 of 443 Old 02-18-2007, 05:44 AM
 
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I agree... get thee to a doula!

I don't think I've given myself an intro... but I've been lurking for a few weeks now! I'm pregnant with my second (about 9 weeks along) and still weigh about the same as I did at 7 months with my first. What the heck, we're all being honest, right? I'm 210! I really really really want a home birth, but DH says no way, because of our little apartment. So we're going to see a midwife group on Monday. The first fight: they want to do an ultrasound to get my dates. We were charting, so we're pretty darn sure when I O'd, and do NOT want to have an U/S if I can help it. I had a little fuss from the Dr. when I was pregnant before about my 'eating habits', but then I lost 15 lbs between my 1st-4th months and they sorta left me alone after that. So we will see how things go.

And Momofeight, I had my OB violate me too, but it was during labor, and I hated how helpless I felt. I had said I didn't want him to give me a vaginal exam, since I had only seen the midwives that he was "over" or whatever, and they were the only ones who had been checking me and everything. I have sexual trauma in my past, so it was very important to me to have FEMALE care givers, KWIM? Well, he insisted that he needed to check me and break my water. I said I didn't want my water broken yet and I didn't want him touching me. I asked if the nurse could check me instead. This was all happening while I was strapped to the moniter, on my back in bed with his hands on my legs. He just said I didn't have anything to worry about, and pushed my legs apart and dove in. I was totally violated AND he broke my waters after I said no. I cried for an hour afterward. My husband, like yours, is loving, but useless in the face of god the doctor. My labor slowed down and took almost a whole bag of pitocin to get back on track. It was aweful. But he didn't force me into the biggest one of all (and he tried!). I delivered vaginally without the c-section he insisted I would need to have!

I feel like I'm a survivor.

28-year-old SAH/Homeschooling Mamma to DS5, DD3, DS16mo. Helpmeet to DH since 2003. TTC #4!
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#376 of 443 Old 02-18-2007, 12:37 PM
 
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indiemama~That is exactly how things happen to me in the hospital. We are in labor so very hard to jump up off that table and defend ourselves.

I did have a doula last time and she would not speak to the doctors or nurses for us. She didn't even really talk to my husband for that matter. I was induced and the contractions were hard and furious, very out of control compared to my natural births.

This may not really be a size issue because my first birth I was 154 at delivery and had the same things happen. I did not want an episiotomy. As I am pushing I see the OB pick up the scissors and he began to cut me. Baby was 5 pounds 13 ounces, I think she was small because he harped on me constantly about overeating. I gained sixteen pounds that pregnancy. Now I tear in that area. I never needed an episiotomy.

Things have improved over the years somewhat in that we are not strapped down to delivery tables anymore or shaved.

I think I need help with my dh. Last time I begged him just to read the Bradley book and he never would. He will go to classes with me but he is always a passive observer during pregnancy/birth and not an active participant. I thought a doula would really help with that last time but it didn't change anything. He just felt better because he didn't have to do anything.

Now this man is awesome postpartum. Well kind of, he doesn't do flowers. He does take care of all the other kids, the house, meals (as long as it is something he can pull out of the freezer and reheat ), and is very supportive of breastfeeding. He does all the important stuff but not the warm fuzzies that we like as women.

What is really hard for me to deal with is the reactions from the doctors and nurses over being pregnant and plus size. They assume there will be a lot of problems and I hear about it at every visit. I can't get any smaller so what do they hope to accomplish by lecturing me about it?
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#377 of 443 Old 02-18-2007, 12:59 PM
 
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What is really hard for me to deal with is the reactions from the doctors and nurses over being pregnant and plus size. They assume there will be a lot of problems and I hear about it at every visit. I can't get any smaller so what do they hope to accomplish by lecturing me about it?
This is what's driving me bonkers, too. Yes, I'm overweight. But you know what? I don't eat junk food. Don't even bring it into the house, because I'm determined to keep my daughter from developing a taste for it. The ob sent me to a dietician due to bG issues. I was in the "class" with another pregnant woman. She was nearly half my size. The dietician asked us what I normally eat.
ME --
Breakfast: 2 eggs, 1 slice whole wheat toast
Lunch: Leftovers, a BIG salad, or a sandwich on ww bread
Dinner: Lean meat, vegetables, occasionally brown rice
Snacks: peanut butter, nuts, apples, carrots

HER --
Breakfast: 2 big bowls of Honey Nut Crunch cereal or 2 packets of maple brown sugar oatmeal
Lunch: Supersized fast-food combo meal
Dinner: Giant helpings of macaroni & cheese & mashed potatoes
Snacks: Ice cream (with caramel, chocolate syrup & whipped cream)

The dietician put us BOTH on a 2000 calorie/day diet, then the ob wondered why I was losing weight. She made some little comment about how I must be eating healthier now that she sent me to the dietician. : Uh ... it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that it's going to take more calories for someone who weighs 282 lbs. to maintain that weight than someone who weighs 160 lbs. These people may be doctors and nurses, but the are so STUPID.

Every hcp I see makes some comment about watching my blood pressure. They don't even LOOK at my chart. It's always around 120/70 in the office, and 96/68 when I check it at work. If anything, I have LOW blood pressure. I even got a lecture from the ob's receptionist, telling me I needed to watch my diet carefully to keep my bp under control! I flat out asked her if she had any idea what my bp was, to which she responded that she works in the front office and hadn't ever seen my chart.

I HATE this. I hate being treated like a freak because I'm past 35, over 120 lbs. and had a big baby before. :

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#378 of 443 Old 02-18-2007, 07:20 PM
 
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I think it's been said here before (maybe not?) but are you making sure they use a size-appropriate blood pressure cuff? That's something I'd never heard of before and I was surprised to find out how drastic of a difference it can make!
http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/lgbpcuffs.htm
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#379 of 443 Old 02-18-2007, 11:07 PM
 
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Oh, yes, I always make sure they're using the right sized cuff. Just being there pisses me off, though, and my pressure is automatically higher than *my* normal. As long as it stays within *their* normal, I'm golden.

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#380 of 443 Old 02-19-2007, 12:41 PM
 
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If they didn't make me get weighed and if I didn't have to worry about being lectured then I don't think my blood pressure would be high. Silly nurse : always starts the scale at 150, can you believe that! Then I have to coax her to move it up a few notches. My biggest fear is that the scale won't accomadate me and I'll be sent to the butcher or post office to be weighed. Anyone know how high the weighted scales go?
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#381 of 443 Old 02-19-2007, 01:40 PM
 
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I have to add myself into this 'group'. I'm 5'9 and currently, well, 30 weeks and gained 32lbs. I don't pig out on junk food, only eat when I'm hungry, no fast food really at all....I think 2-3 times this whole pg. With my 1st DC (9lbs), I started at 195 I think and gained 60lbs. Started at 185 with my 2nd DC (8 1/2lbs a month early) and gained 39lbs. With this one, I started at 197 and have been packing on the lbs. I miscarried in between each child, so when I got stressed out, I ate.

My OB and WIC keeps commenting about my weight gain, but I really don't care. I can't help it. I haven't ever had GD with any of my pg, I just keep having big babies.

What annoys me the most is when WIC gets on me about my weight, and they're fatter than me!! I just look at them and think how many kids they've had.

I had to bite my tongue at my last appt. I overheard them telling 2 women how great is was that they supposedly cut down on smoking, then they turn around and chew me out for being overweight and pregnant.

I have to say that it's awkward having a DH who wears medium boxers, and I wear xtra large!!
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#382 of 443 Old 02-21-2007, 06:00 PM
 
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The dietician put us BOTH on a 2000 calorie/day diet, then the ob wondered why I was losing weight. She made some little comment about how I must be eating healthier now that she sent me to the dietician. : Uh ... it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that it's going to take more calories for someone who weighs 282 lbs. to maintain that weight than someone who weighs 160 lbs. These people may be doctors and nurses, but the are so STUPID.
So true! And what is the deal with putting a pregnant mother on a calorie counting diet anyway?

I would be really annoyed if even the receptionist was making comments like that.
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#383 of 443 Old 02-21-2007, 06:04 PM
 
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I am so fearful of meeting with the doctor and having him tell me that becausse of my weight I'll be considered high risk.
My doctor never told me I was high risk, but on the first visit he gave me a sheet with pricing on it, and once I looked at my chart on the way out of the exam room, and he was charging my insurance company the high risk price. He didn't give me any extra care, talk about diet or anything like that, and everything was always normal when I went in, but since I could fit in the category, he could get more money.
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#384 of 443 Old 02-21-2007, 06:08 PM
 
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He just said I didn't have anything to worry about, and pushed my legs apart and dove in. I was totally violated AND he broke my waters after I said no. I cried for an hour afterward.

That is so horrible, it makes me so angry at that guy. They treat people like that and then harass midwives and try and make homebirths illegal.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, Indiemamma.
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#385 of 443 Old 02-21-2007, 07:34 PM
 
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i just want to say that i have not had "bad" experiences b/c of my weight. my last midwife didn't care and this midwife doesn't either. can those of you who are having issues switch providers???

btw...my intro is a page or 2 back if you didn't see it.

january
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#386 of 443 Old 02-22-2007, 12:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mimiharshe View Post
i just want to say that i have not had "bad" experiences b/c of my weight. my last midwife didn't care and this midwife doesn't either. can those of you who are having issues switch providers???
january
I went from an insensitive un-size friendly OB to a very size friendly midwife. It does make all the difference.
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#387 of 443 Old 02-22-2007, 12:29 PM
 
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I went from an insensitive un-size friendly OB to a very size friendly midwife. It does make all the difference.
That's good to hear. It just seems like there's so much complaining and bad experiences going on in this thread. I wanted to hear that there are some positive experiences.
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#388 of 443 Old 02-23-2007, 02:28 PM
 
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i went from a very size unfriendly CNM with my last babe to a VERY size friendly loving warm caring fabulous (i wonder, does she read my posts?) awesome and amazing homebirth midwife and her equally rad and size friendly apprentice(whom i also wonder if she reads my posts )

treehugger.gif )O( unschooling, witchy mum to Addy(7) and Niamh(4)
Living with an invisible chronic illness.
Fat and hairy. And happy with both *( o Y o )*
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#389 of 443 Old 02-24-2007, 02:01 AM
 
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Originally Posted by AddysMama View Post
i went from a very size unfriendly CNM with my last babe to a VERY size friendly loving warm caring fabulous (i wonder, does she read my posts?) awesome and amazing homebirth midwife and her equally rad and size friendly apprentice(whom i also wonder if she reads my posts )

No, I don't.

But I do read this thread - mainly to find out what sort of things women are being told, etc.

I you, Tiff!
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#390 of 443 Old 02-24-2007, 02:18 PM
 
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i : you too Pam!
us ladies get told ALOT fo crap. please feel free to jump in here at ANY time and make these wonderful women feels as greaty as you make me feel.

treehugger.gif )O( unschooling, witchy mum to Addy(7) and Niamh(4)
Living with an invisible chronic illness.
Fat and hairy. And happy with both *( o Y o )*
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