How soon do you tell everyone the good news? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 24 Old 03-20-2003, 05:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello...

You can probably tell that I am excited to be newly pregnant. Just wondering how soon you tell everyone? This time I think it will be a little different for me since I did m/c last time. I'm tempted to tell my mother though I just got that BFP today (still wondering if I was seeing things though!)
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#2 of 24 Old 03-20-2003, 05:40 PM
 
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We had a m/c last spring, so when we got pregnant in November, we were a little cautious. I did tell my mom, even though dh didn't know that I did! We m/c at 10 wks, and waited until after our 11-12 wk appointment to tell everyone this time. It was kind of nice having this little secret, I must say. I thought I would be dying to tell everyone, but I enjoyed just dh and I (and my mom!) knowing. I was a little reluctant to ruin that, kwim?

But we have a friend who had a number of losses but always told everyone as soon as they found out.
I guess it's really what you are most comfortable with.


Congratulations!
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#3 of 24 Old 03-20-2003, 05:53 PM
 
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Abylite,

How wonderful!!! Funny, but I was just thinking about you this morning and wondering if you'd tested. Yay!! and Congratulations!!

As for your question - I can see shouting it to the world and keeping it quiet. Haven't quite decided what we will do at that time. If your close to your mom, I could certainly see wanting to share the happiness with her.

Have fun!!

Lisa

Lisa , married to Dan, mama to IVF miracle Natalie 5/20/09 :
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#4 of 24 Old 03-20-2003, 05:58 PM
 
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Congratulations,
We waited until 10 weeks with ds and 9 this time (we had an early ultrasound that looked good). We however only told close friends and family. Work still doesn't know.

I like waiting a bit, it's really nice that it's your little secret for a bit.

Mom to ds 9 dd 7 : and dd 3/08 : if I can I go to
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#5 of 24 Old 03-20-2003, 06:34 PM
 
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We've always told family and a few close friends as soon as we found out. But we only told people we would probably tell anyway if we did have a m/c.

For everyone else, we waited until after the 12 week mark...
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#6 of 24 Old 03-20-2003, 07:09 PM
 
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We normally tell right away. With ds we told within days. With Sweetpea we were going to announce to extended families over Thanksgiving. We waited to tell our parents unti lI could make ds a shirt that said "future Big Brother" but we m/c so we had to tell them about that instead of "We're pregnant"

If my test today did indeed show positive....I think we might tell at ds's first b-day party at the end of April. I wouldn't be to the end of the first trimester but I'd be past where we lsot Sweetpea. Of course I have a friend here that is 9 wks that I would tell as soon as we know for sure!!

You wouldn't think you could be so apprehensive about something so wonderful.....

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#7 of 24 Old 03-20-2003, 07:39 PM
 
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We told everyone by 10 weeks max. If we miscarried I'd tell everyone we told that I miscarried, so I figured sharing the joy of the pregnancy with them was ok... I waited to start telling people until we got a darker test result... I never did get a truly *dark* line, so we told a few friends, and then when I had the test done at Kaiser it seemed more "offical" and we went nuts telling EVERYONE!

Lisa, mama to Orion (7) , Fiona Star (born sleeping @ 38wks 12/6/08) , our bitty (m/c 7/27/09) , and Charlotte Athena (11/5/10)
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#8 of 24 Old 03-20-2003, 08:29 PM
 
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We tell everyone immediately! I had a miscarriage Feb 01. That was the only time I didn't tell. I just knew something was wrong. I will always regret not telling anyone. It was like our baby never existed, and I have always felt guilty. I know that "untelling" would be difficult, but for me - I'll take that risk.
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#9 of 24 Old 03-20-2003, 09:11 PM
 
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SO far I've told, 2 friends, my sister and my dad. I just told my boss, because I called in sick today and then she emailed me with her concern that everyone was getting sick - so I replied telling her that what I have is not contageous! :LOL I hope not!

Dh has told three of his friends.................

We still need to tell DH parents and his brother, and then all the rest of the people at work............. I think we'll wait a little while on those. But we will need to tell the family before they find out from someone else! YIKES!


Chelly
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#10 of 24 Old 03-20-2003, 11:24 PM
 
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With our ds and dd we told everyone right away. This time we have told my brother, sister and her husband. We will wait to tell others untill 13 weeks or so........

teapot2.GIF jog.gif

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#11 of 24 Old 03-21-2003, 11:54 AM
 
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I'm pregnant with our first, who will be the first grandchild on either side of the family, assuming that all continues to go well. We told our families at week 8, with lots of creativity.

The following week, we've started telling close friends. I also told my boss, because I know that she'll be discreet, and will cut me some slack if I'm running a little late or am "not quite myself" in morning meetings. I plan on telling my coworkers and friends that I see less regularly around 11-12 weeks (2 more weeks until we're fully out of the closet!).
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#12 of 24 Old 03-21-2003, 01:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello! Thanks for sharing your stories!

I've only told my message board friends and 2 coworkers that are close...it's hard to keep it from all my coworkers since there is only 8 women in my small clinic...but I'll do my best! We are going to tell DH dad and my mom this weekend....

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#13 of 24 Old 03-21-2003, 10:02 PM
 
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I like to tell right away! I agree w/ what was said above. If you don't tell and you m/c it is like the baby never existed. I've had 2 m/c. We tell our close family and friends right away and work folks around 12 weeks.
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#14 of 24 Old 03-22-2003, 06:17 PM
 
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On my first two pregnancies, which ended in miscarriages, I didn't tell anybody at school about them, and I was sort of relieved that it was "as if it had never existed." I was also happy that my family knew, so there it did.

It's been a little strange telling my family about my pregnancy after my two losses -- their reaction is much more muted. I feel like I've been crying wolf and have lost credibility that I'm actually going to follow through with this.
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#15 of 24 Old 03-22-2003, 07:16 PM
 
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We waited. Well, DP wanted to wait- I think if he had his way I still wouldnt have told anyone and I am due on monday We found out Aug, 8th but we both knew for about 2 weeks before we took the "test". I told my parents on Sept, 11th because they flew me and DP out to Seattle for my B-Day (that is where they live and where I grew up) and I really wanted to tell them in person. My sister cried It was so cute! Then when we got back we told DP parents so late Sept I guess. I was totaly scared to tell them because we had just spent the last year dealing with a really bad pregnancy and custody fight with DP's brother and it was not the best time for us to be poping the news! But it all seemed to work out. The only problem I have had is getting everyone to understand that we are a bit in our thinking and they don't like that we are having an UC, or anything else for that matter. Good luck!!!

[B][I]~Ang~ Mom to 2 sport-head crazy girls: Rainey and Breeze  and my little lost love- @18 weeks with gestational age of 7 weeks
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#16 of 24 Old 03-23-2003, 01:54 PM
 
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I am pregnant (5wks) with my first and it came as quite a surprise. I can't stop telling people though. Pretty much I am telling the same people I would want support from if I do m/c. But the "small circle of friends" keeps growing. And my mom is bursting at the seams! This is her first grandchild and she keeps asking me when she can tell her friends, our family, etc. I am tempted to tell my boss because then she would understand why I can't work late, may come in late, have more appointments, etc also. But she isn't very discrete and I am afraid it will get around the office quickly. I guess I have a hard time balancing the ideas that if I don't tell people it as if "the baby never existed" and telling too many people too soon.

morninglark
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#17 of 24 Old 03-23-2003, 05:00 PM
 
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Congratulations, Abylite!

I'm 14 weeks pregnant now (due in late September). I told my immediate family (my mom, dh's parents and brother) as soon as I found out (about 5 weeks). Afterwards, I started telling others gradually until by 10 weeks everyone knew, including the lady whom I buy deli from at the grocery counter

It should just "feel right" I think. I think I would need the support if I did miscarry (from everyone!) but also it's something so grand you don't want (and can't) keep it a secret!

Enjoy your pregnancy,
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#18 of 24 Old 03-23-2003, 06:04 PM
 
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I am 7 weeks pregnant and I started telling EVERYONE as soon as I found out. I figured I want as many prayers as possible for this little one and if God Forbid I do miscarry, I don't want to mourn alone. So at 4 weeks I told practically everyone I came in contact with. I think you know what is right for you.

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Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born I loved you. Before you were a minute old, I would have died for you. That is the miracle of life. ~Maureen Hawkins~
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#19 of 24 Old 03-24-2003, 12:24 AM
 
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I must be in the minority here but I didn't tell until 12 weeks, not even close family.

~~~Set the gearshift for the high gear of your soul...you've got to run like a lamb queen out of control~~~
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#20 of 24 Old 03-24-2003, 12:40 AM
 
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Both times, I waited to tell most people until 10-12 weeks, with the exception of a few VERY close friends and family. It is almost a superstitious thing in my family...hard to explain (does't really make sense)...My sisters didn't EXPECT to be told until at least 8 weeks. At about 10-12 weeks I started telling co-workers and more distant family members.

Mama to three small people; wife to one big person; pet-person to cats and dogs..."Be the change you want to see in the world"-- Gandhi
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#21 of 24 Old 03-24-2003, 03:52 AM
 
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Well, I am also in the minority with RachelMolly! We (all three times) did not tell until the "safe" week 12! It was special to keep it just between me and dh (and our midwives - and with #3 this message board!) but no one IRL - not parents, siblings, best friends - knew before week 12. That said, I don't get morning sickness so it wasn't so hard to hide.

If I had miscarried, I would have told people closest to me and gotten their support then. I just know too many people who told early then lost the baby and had to deal with comments from people who heard the good news but not the bad later. I just wasn't willing to risk it.

Kirsten
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#22 of 24 Old 03-24-2003, 12:56 PM
 
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With both of mine, I told as soon as I had a positive hpt. With my first, I told dh and thought we should wait 'just in case' and he didn't agree. I think he broadcast it with a bullhorn all over the state! LOL! He was so excited. I just told him I needed to call my mom first (she's out of state) and he needed to tell his parents. I do have slight morning sickness and was extremely fatigued, so I'm not sure how I could have avoided telling anyway.

Another girl at work has a dd a month older than my dd and she didn't tell until she was 12 weeks- her announcement was after mine. I was very surprised and felt very selfish that I was telling everyone my news and she was pg and not sharing. She is a little older (42 at the time- but doesn't look a day over 32) and was more cautious. Her older daughter was like 23 at the time.

With ds, I told everyone again. At about 6 weeks, I started bleeding and thought I was m/c. It turned out to be nothing, but I was very relieved that people knew so I had the support of my coworkers. They were great.

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#23 of 24 Old 03-25-2003, 10:41 PM
 
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With #1, I told everyone right away! I hated all the, "you don't look pregnant" comments and other smart alek remarks. With this one, I am waiting at least until the first ultrasound, if not until 12 wks. Only my online buddies know, besides me and DH and DD. I'm guessing DD (almost 2) will tell her grandmothers given the first chance, though, and think that's a great way for them to find out!
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#24 of 24 Old 03-26-2003, 03:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies...

I've been "good" actually. 3 coworkers know and both sets of parents. I'll tell everyone else after we see a heartbeat!!

Cheers to all of us!!
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