People have started asking if we know the sex of the baby. I say "no, we don't" and they get this funny look on their faces and then ask "Why not? Couldn't they see it on the u/s?"
me: "we haven't had an u/s"
them: "you haven't? when does your dr do them?"
You get the idea? It just goes on and on no matter what I say- they refuse to let alone!
When I finally tell them that we don't plan to have one you'd think I just smacked them in the face!
It's just getting old and I have until the beginning of July to cope with it. arg! I just had to do a little venting!
I think a lot of people don't realize that you don't have to get one, like someone else said. I think a lot of people don't realize that you don't HAVE to do anything.
They all say to me, "why on EARTH wouldnt' you want an ultrasound?!?!"
A midwife recommended that book to me when we were thinking about getting pregnant. I have to admit I had never even questioned the necessity of ultrasound, just seemed like the normal thing to do. For me, I figured that I knew the date of conception, am healthy and am not expecting twins (at least nobody thinks so ) so an ultrasound seemed totally unnecessary. That book is from the UK and might seem a bit radical but the author points out that we really have no idea about the long term consequences of doing US, just like X-rays 20-30 years ago.
Just something to think about....
I have one crunchy friend who doesn't think I'm nuts, the rest do, including DP. He wants to know the sex. Everyone thinks it's this great inconvenience not to know. I think it would be far more inconvenient if they got it wrong (as they often do), and I hate sex-oriented baby gifts. A baby is a baby.
breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling Heathen parent to my little Wanderer, 7 1/2 , and baby Elf-stone, 3/11!
Anyway, they are NOT completely safe like most people think. I know that in some cases they are necessary and very helpful but performing U/S should be the exception not the rule.
You ladies are just trying to protect your children and their inutero development. You are being the responsible ones!
Just wanted to add this:
(Print this out for your friends: )
Fetal Ultrasound Linked to Brain Damage - GCN-NEWS@11:11 am PST <>
According to news today from the National Post Online, researchers have uncovered more evidence suggesting that ultrasound scans on pregnant women may lead to brain damage in their unborn babies.
According to the article, the study is the most comprehensive done yet on the effects of ultrasound scanning. The research team found that men born to mothers who received ultrasound scans while pregnant were more likely to show signs of subtle brain damage....
[Edited due to copyright violation. If you have a link to provide readers please do so. Please review our Copyright Concerns in the Rules and Guidelines board. ~Cynthia
AP, Homeschooling, Part-Time working mom with 3 rambunctious boys all born with love at home. (04 & 08 & 12).
With #2 I didnt have an ultrasound, people still thought I was crazy. If they find a problem on the u/s can they even do anything about it? Why put yourself thru unnesc. worry and your baby thru possible harm just to find out the sex of the baby, sheesh!
(Although, I admit it was exciting to see the profile and the little arms, legs , kidneys etc. but it did seem kind of like I shouldnt be seeing it, sorta like tempting fate or something KWIM.)
Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan age8, Ava age 4 and baby Georgia (6/3/11).
|Originally posted by greenluv
People have started asking if we know the sex of the baby.
"it's a little early to assign gender roles on the child isn't it?"
"its a boy " ( like are they gonna follow up with you?)
or my all time favorite
"what do you mean? I'm not pregnant..."
Smart ass answers guaranteed to please
a few parents would say 'oh, well, we HAD to know' but that was only a minority....
:sinister :sinister :sinister :sinister
I don't have the energy to go around preaching about why I don't think it is a good idea. One of my co-workers kept hounding me about it. So, after that, I just kept my birth choices to myself!
Oh a nurse asked us at our last appointment and my DH said a baby! She just laughed and I told her we didn't want to know. I just loved his answer.
The funny thing is, they don't know why, and it's not until I explain that my midwife does not have an u/s machine in her home.
How weird is that? Like, 5 people have assumed, apparently, that my homebirth midwife has an u/s on her person. Funny.
And I always say when queried about the baby's sex: 'there are few suprises that are happy either way.'
For those of you who've decided not to have ultrasound, do you avoid doppler, too? I'm trying to make up my mind about which things to have done - I haven't even picked a caregiver yet (just found out a few weeks ago that we're expecting!). Anyway, I can see not having u/s unless there's some medical indication for it. It would be fun to hear the heartbeat early, but I can be patient if the same risks apply.
I agree with what others have said - fun to be surprised at the birth (with gender), nothing to be done if you find a problem (most times) but stressing you out, and they can be wrong - with gender, due date, or health problems. I have always known my due date - don't insult me by telling me you know better than me when I had unprotected sex with my husband!
I would agree to one if I was measuring way off or there was some indication that we needed to look. The benefit would have to outweigh the risk and so far it has not.
I actually love it when the topic of me not having an ultrasound comes up! It is fun to be a little out of the mainstream and have a chance to educate people. I don't get preachy but I think if you at least mention it (don't even have to go into why if you don't think it appropriate) it gives that person something to think about and maybe they will ask questions or be supportive if they or someone they know is considering it.
I have had one person think that you HAD to have an ultrasound - that you couldn't decline it. I think it is very scary that some people think there is ANYTHING that you can't decline. Everything is declinable!
After my midwife listens to the heartbeat w/ the fetoscope, she passes the ear pieces over to me, and I get a turn to listen.
It is VERY faint, here at 25 weeks. I could not hear it at 21 weeks.
At about 23 weeks, my husband can hear the heartbeat with his ear pressed against my belly (you MUST be listening in the right spot to hear the heartbeat; keeping a hand on mom's pulse helps to differentiate the speedy fetal beat vs. mom's slower heartbeat.)
NOW is the thread derailed?
I didn't have one with my daughter, and I did with my son. Although its really exciting to see the baby etc.... I'd be happier missing it this time round (and that darn FULL BLADDER)
A woman I work with has already had two and she's 16 weeks along!!! She still wants to find out the sex of her baby, so will have another one. I think Doctors just want to use it to see the heartbeat, they don't want to try find it using other methods.
Side question about doppler. First pregnancy I had one most visits but nurse-midwife did use the fetoscope some. When I was in labor I asked the nurse there to use the fetoscope and they DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ONE ON THE LABOR/DELIVERY FLOOR! I told them I knew there were some over in the clinic (a one minute walk down the hall) so finally someone went and got one for me but the nurses in L & D had no idea what to do with it and couldn't hear well with it. When my midwife came (she was at another birth down the hall), she did fine with it.
Second pregnancy, we used doppler and fetoscope about half and half. I was reducing our use but still did use it to quickly hear the heartbeat.
This pregnancy, we have only used doppler twice I think. Last visit (30 weeks) my midwife could hear the heartbeat with the fetoscope but I couldn't. Bummer but he/she is kicking around in there - and the midwife heard what she needed. So I am fine with that. I do use doppler but try to keep it to a minimum.
Made it so real and amazing for us to hear that first time!
Kristen, that woman must have had a whacked out doc! What a lot of unnecessary treatments, what was the study for I wonder? Side-effects of excessive US???:
If there was a situation that REALLY warranted these things, it would be okay by us, but most of the time it's just DONE, just because!
But no one questioned the fact that I didn't have one with my first-guess I was just lucky.