Nursing pregnant mamas support thread - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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#181 of 292 Old 05-14-2007, 03:05 AM
 
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Oh wow! Congrats!!! Let us all know what tandeming is really like in the early days... if you can get to the computer!! Good luck!

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#182 of 292 Old 05-14-2007, 02:13 PM
 
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I'm getting so close to having this baby. I had some bloody show. I can't believe I made it through the entire pregnancy nursing my dd and now I'm about to embark on the tandem nursing journey!!! Wish me luck, mamas!

Oh how exciting. I hope you are holding your sweet new baby, and enjoying your new relationships.


I am currently tandeming my 4 and 2 yr olds, and 27 weeks pregnant with my fifth baby. I have tandemed for most of the last 8 years with a few breaks here and there, but have been nursing non-stop since Nov 20th, 1997. It can be such a challenge, but I love it, and wouldn't change it for the world. It is so rewarding to see your babes nursing together, and knowing that you can provide all of the emotional, and nutritional support breastfeeding gives.

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#183 of 292 Old 05-16-2007, 12:58 AM
 
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Nursing and pregnant here! Can't wait to tandem! :

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#184 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 12:36 AM
 
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Just wanted to bump this - not pregnant any more but I'm still hoping for a sub forum for this...
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#185 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 12:59 AM
 
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Thanks for bumping b/c I really need to talk about this right now.

I have a 2.5 year old nursling and am 25 weeks pregnant. So far things have been great. There was definitely some new soreness but usually it was just latch on and then I could relax and everything would be fine.

About a week ago nursing has started to feel so weird. There is the initial raw sting when he latches and then after a few minutes the sensation of him nursing is almost unbearable! Like nails on a chalkboard...I just get the heebie jeebies and almost feel a panic to get him to stop.

Problem being he doesn't want to just stop and I am there asking and then pleading him to stop. I feel like in response to my new behavior he has started to want to nurse more which is understandable but not desirable for me.

Physically I want to stop. These feelings make me want to stop but I hate the idea of stopping on a bad note....kwim? Stopping b/c I can't stand the feeling. I always pictured a more serene and peaceful final weaning.

Any suggestions? Has anyone else been through a similar situation?
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#186 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 03:17 AM
 
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Thanks for bumping b/c I really need to talk about this right now.

I have a 2.5 year old nursling and am 25 weeks pregnant. So far things have been great. There was definitely some new soreness but usually it was just latch on and then I could relax and everything would be fine.

About a week ago nursing has started to feel so weird. There is the initial raw sting when he latches and then after a few minutes the sensation of him nursing is almost unbearable! Like nails on a chalkboard...I just get the heebie jeebies and almost feel a panic to get him to stop.

Problem being he doesn't want to just stop and I am there asking and then pleading him to stop. I feel like in response to my new behavior he has started to want to nurse more which is understandable but not desirable for me.

Physically I want to stop. These feelings make me want to stop but I hate the idea of stopping on a bad note....kwim? Stopping b/c I can't stand the feeling. I always pictured a more serene and peaceful final weaning.

Any suggestions? Has anyone else been through a similar situation?
Yes!! You are not alone. This often happens to me with my 4.5 yr old, though not so much with my younger nursling(she is 2.5). I am 30 weeks pregnant.

I think it has gotten better now that my colostrum is in, but it is still there. Luckily my older guy is not nursing as much and is easy to reason with about it.

Is there anything you can do to kind of zone while he is nursing. I find the more I focus on it the worse it is...if I am reading or watching tv it is easier(I know, that sounds aweful, but I don't want to wean like that either, and I know it gets better as time goes on).

Sometimes it is worse than others. If I am more tired, or certain times of the day are worse.

Some people have this feeling while tandeming too. I did not with my first set(they were 16 months apart), but with each set after that nursing them together gives me the heebie jeebies. I can do it occasionally, but it's tough. I'm not sure if that had to do with the age gap, or the length of time I have been nursing, or what, but I rarely tandem now.

Not sure if that helps at all, but it will probably get better. LOL And at least you aren't alone.

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
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#187 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 11:44 AM
 
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Oh I wish I had seen this thread a couple of days ago! I'm nursing my 11.5-month-old daughter right now, and I'm newly pregnant -- probably 6 or 7 weeks, but I'll find out more for certain tomorrow.

I'm already noticing a bit of a drop in my supply, and it's getting frustrating for my daughter. I was under the impression though that my supply would keep going for at least another month or two, so I'm hoping that my current dip is due to stress and not the hormones. And my nipples are SO sore, and it doesn't help that my daughter just got her first 4 teeth over the last couple of weeks, so she's not used to dealing with them yet and she's always scraping me!

Anyway, congrats to all the new mamas and all the pregnant moms out there!
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#188 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 02:05 PM
 
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Oh I wish I had seen this thread a couple of days ago! I'm nursing my 11.5-month-old daughter right now, and I'm newly pregnant -- probably 6 or 7 weeks, but I'll find out more for certain tomorrow.

I'm already noticing a bit of a drop in my supply, and it's getting frustrating for my daughter. I was under the impression though that my supply would keep going for at least another month or two, so I'm hoping that my current dip is due to stress and not the hormones. And my nipples are SO sore, and it doesn't help that my daughter just got her first 4 teeth over the last couple of weeks, so she's not used to dealing with them yet and she's always scraping me!

Anyway, congrats to all the new mamas and all the pregnant moms out there!
Make sure to drink lots of water. Staying hydrated helps keep your milk supply up. There are some other tips probably on the breastfeeding support board for upping milk supply, just make sure they are safe for pregnancy. COngratulations!!

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#189 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 02:23 PM
 
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I really wish there was a subforum. I've been going through a roller coaster of feelings and it is so hard to decifer with this thread being so long.

For example: Any one else having huge amounts of aversion?! I feel so awful when I just want to scream when DD wants to nurse. I get snappy and at 16m she just doesn't understand.

I don't want to wean her but just CAN'T STAND this anymore. She doesn't understand, she is young but I want to scream! Where is the balance? What do I do?

Just having a "tribe" thread is ridiculous.
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#190 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 03:09 PM
 
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I am back at the "omg just stop already, cringing, and i want to throw you " stage with ds and nursing. I HATE feeling it , but its true. I WANT to stop , but mama bear in me says "this too shall pass"
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#191 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 05:25 PM
 
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I am back at the "omg just stop already, cringing, and i want to throw you " stage with ds and nursing. I HATE feeling it , but its true. I WANT to stop , but mama bear in me says "this too shall pass"
This is exactly how I feel. I know this is not the time to wean but I am really struggling. We haven't nursed yet today b/c I just keep avoiding the situations where he would ask. When he did ask I made a few other suggestions and he opted for that....so, okay for the moment.

I also feel weird about nursing but having secret awful feelings. That doesn't feel "right" either.
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#192 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 05:58 PM
 
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I am back at the "omg just stop already, cringing, and i want to throw you " stage with ds and nursing. I HATE feeling it , but its true. I WANT to stop , but mama bear in me says "this too shall pass"
I am right there with you. It is unbearable most days- sometimes it is better. My son is also at the hitting me while nursing stage so I definitely want to throw him! The other day in my hysteria, I swore to DH that this next one is going on formula.

My son only nurses three times a day and it is much worse on one side. I am getting Reynaud's symptoms again (had those in the beginning because of a bad latch) and I am not sure how to correct it right now. I know that I still have milk (or colostrum). Any advice for getting through to "this too shall pass" stage. I certainly don't want to start out with the next baby with a negative attitude towards nursing.
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#193 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 06:18 PM
 
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Flowers - what you are feeling is soooo normal!!! Many pregnant nursing moms go through this... it's very disconcerting sometimes! The good thing is that things can change quickly when you nurse through pregnancy... and if you can (and want to) hang in there, sometimes it will be easier. Some moms find it helpful to do some relaxation techniques that are used in labor, that can help ease you through that feeling.

There should be a thread on the Q&A board about getting our own subforum... I'v been asking for a while but so far, no luck... Maybe try posting to it? I'll go see if I can find it and post the link here.
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#194 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 06:20 PM
 
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http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=502130

That's the thread asking for a tandem/pg subforum. I really think we need one, or at least these tribe threads should be stickies. It's really important because there are so many moms here who are in this situation. I just can't understand why they won't include this. It's very frustrating.
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#195 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 06:34 PM
 
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Thanks for bumping b/c I really need to talk about this right now.

I have a 2.5 year old nursling and am 25 weeks pregnant. So far things have been great. There was definitely some new soreness but usually it was just latch on and then I could relax and everything would be fine.

About a week ago nursing has started to feel so weird. There is the initial raw sting when he latches and then after a few minutes the sensation of him nursing is almost unbearable! Like nails on a chalkboard...I just get the heebie jeebies and almost feel a panic to get him to stop.

Problem being he doesn't want to just stop and I am there asking and then pleading him to stop. I feel like in response to my new behavior he has started to want to nurse more which is understandable but not desirable for me.

Physically I want to stop. These feelings make me want to stop but I hate the idea of stopping on a bad note....kwim? Stopping b/c I can't stand the feeling. I always pictured a more serene and peaceful final weaning.

Any suggestions? Has anyone else been through a similar situation?
i'm right there with you!! the worse thing is that i'm so afraid if i don't wean him now im going to dread having to BF the new babe!! it's horrible because i have always planned on child led weaning! i feel horrible, but i have also noticed that it doesn't take much for DS to fall asleep w/o "ba bas". he only nurses for nap and bed...by bedtime the last couple days he'll whine a little but fall asleep within minutes. i ,of course, still cuddle with him and hold him close, but i can't help but feel guilty!! i just feel that i can not do it anymore...i ask for him to let go of "babas" and he screams NO and holds on for dear life! it makes me feel as though i have no control over my own body anymore!! i'm 17w 3d and this feeling has just started a couple weeks ago. i even got thru all my BAD m/s w/o too much probs. now that my milk is gone the sensation drives me MAD when he nurses!! like you said nails on a chalk board. i've tried zoning, watching tv, even pitching myself so i may not feel it....nothing has worked!

wow, i didn't realize i had to get that much off my chest!! thank you so much for letting me vent! and i am SO happy i am not the only one out there that feels this way! i don't feel as guilty!
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#196 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 07:01 PM
 
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Oh, yeah!

SO I have been thinking about this a lot lately. And it is something I have wondered about over the years because I have felt it with every pregnancy/tandeming couple. I really do wonder if this feeling is not some sort of biological happening to make us want to wean, so that our bodies can provide for the new baby. Don't get me wrong. I am a CLWer, and am extremely supportive of tandem(and more) nursing. I just wonder if there is something to that. Maybe when people did not have such access to good nutrition and stuff if they were still nursing an older child when they got pregnant(probably rare because of Natural Child Spacing when nutrition is a factor), this feeling made them stop?

I don't know. LOL Just a thought.

I *do* know that it comes and goes for me(always has), and that the *only* time I have ever felt this way with a new babe was when I was suffering from severe PPD. There were times with the new babe and an older sib that I would get that feeling with the older kiddo, but not with the baby.

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#197 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 07:12 PM
 
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http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=502130

That's the thread asking for a tandem/pg subforum. I really think we need one, or at least these tribe threads should be stickies. It's really important because there are so many moms here who are in this situation. I just can't understand why they won't include this. It's very frustrating.
I just posted to this. I agree - it would be so useful to have a subforum!
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#198 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 07:24 PM
 
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I am back at the "omg just stop already, cringing, and i want to throw you " stage with ds and nursing. I HATE feeling it , but its true. I WANT to stop , but mama bear in me says "this too shall pass"
Yes!! I have never had an issue with nursing ds until the last few weeks. He was exclusively bf until about 2 wks ago when he finally started eating solids - yay!! (He's just about 19 mos so we were getting a bit anxious). But... he's also been nursing every hour AT LEAST. It's making me crazy!! Not to mention it hurts. It's like having a newborn again but it's so frustrating b/c at this age I'm accustomed to a little space and some time to get other things done. It seems like this resentment I have is definitely hormonally driven, though. It just happened so suddenly. I just want him off of me and to give me some space!!!

Thanks for this thread. It's really helpful to get the perspective of other moms who have made it through and to see that this is common.
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#199 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 07:26 PM
 
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Oh, yeah!

SO I have been thinking about this a lot lately. And it is something I have wondered about over the years because I have felt it with every pregnancy/tandeming couple. I really do wonder if this feeling is not some sort of biological happening to make us want to wean, so that our bodies can provide for the new baby. Don't get me wrong. I am a CLWer, and am extremely supportive of tandem(and more) nursing. I just wonder if there is something to that. Maybe when people did not have such access to good nutrition and stuff if they were still nursing an older child when they got pregnant(probably rare because of Natural Child Spacing when nutrition is a factor), this feeling made them stop?

I don't know. LOL Just a thought.

I *do* know that it comes and goes for me(always has), and that the *only* time I have ever felt this way with a new babe was when I was suffering from severe PPD. There were times with the new babe and an older sib that I would get that feeling with the older kiddo, but not with the baby.

You know I have been thinking along similar lines. If I am so into trusting my body's natural rhythm why would I ignore this very loud communication. Plus, I feel the feelings are overspilling into other areas of life.

I am going to just go with the flow, but I don't want to dismiss what my intuitive body/self is telling me.
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#200 of 292 Old 06-07-2007, 07:33 PM
 
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You know I have been thinking along similar lines. If I am so into trusting my body's natural rhythm why would I ignore this very loud communication. Plus, I feel the feelings are overspilling into other areas of life.

I am going to just go with the flow, but I don't want to dismiss what my intuitive body/self is telling me.
It is tough. LOL For sure. I really think half the reason I continued to tandem all these years(ummm...8+ years now of tandeming), is because it was pretty easy with the first two, and I felt guilt for wanting to wean the others, like it wouldn't be fair to them.

Motherhood...I swear has got to be the most guilt inducing job in the world.


But, on the other hand, I love that I have been able to give my kiddos this connection with each other, and with me for so long. I guess even at the expense of myself here and there. It definitely hasn't been all bad, and there is nothing more amazing than watching your little ones hold hands while they nurse.

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
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#201 of 292 Old 06-08-2007, 12:46 AM
 
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Its so nice to find this forum. I am 5wks 4 days along, and I am breastfeeding my daughter who is 20 months old. I am really glad to know that there are ALOT others who bf still. I was under the impression that I needed to wean my daughter immediately because it could cause a miscarriage.... I was VERY MISINFORMED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Glad to find you guys!

Megan & Aurora 20 months
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#202 of 292 Old 06-08-2007, 01:09 AM
 
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Well, I'm 11 weeks pregnant now & breastfeeding is still going fine. : My boobs are sore but tolerable, & everything is still happening- milk's still flowin', Mr Baby Pants is still addicted. It's wonderful & I just reallyreally hope it all continues.

I haven't gained a pound yet though, which is a bit worrisome to me. How has all of your weight gain been?? Are you guys finding it harder to eat enough to sustain nursing AND pregnancy easily?

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#203 of 292 Old 06-08-2007, 01:51 AM
 
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I really do wonder if this feeling is not some sort of biological happening to make us want to wean, so that our bodies can provide for the new baby.
I've been thinking about this a lot. dd2 is just over a week old, and it is driving me nuts when dd1 nurses. She is 2.5 and pretty capable of negotiating, making choices, etc. but really she just wants to nurse more than anything. I think getting her more involved with other people and activities ought to help, going to get her into swimming lessons this summer, etc.

I feel bad because all through pg I would limit her nursing to 10 min. whenever she wanted, but I told her that when the baby came there would be lots of milk and I wouldn't be sore anymore. Now I feel this intense aversion, pain or no, and I am down to 5 min. and counting the seconds. I try to keep it to bedtime and nap time, but she really wants to share nursing with the new baby, and it is so sweet. She always holds some of my hair in her hand, now she makes sure the baby has some hair to hold onto too! And that is the only time it is still painful for me to nurse, when they are both latched on. And it drives me insane. I don't know what is right.
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#204 of 292 Old 06-08-2007, 01:56 AM
 
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I haven't gained a pound yet though, which is a bit worrisome to me. How has all of your weight gain been?? Are you guys finding it harder to eat enough to sustain nursing AND pregnancy easily?
I ate a lot, and no dairy or mammal or bird, and gained about 40 lbs. So, no, I don't think tandeming is likely to be a reason you are not gaining this early in your pregnancy. You might try counting calories to see how many you are getting, but if you are eating as much as you feel hungry for, and good quality and variety of foods, you're probably fine.
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#205 of 292 Old 06-08-2007, 03:56 AM
 
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Subbing. I'm 12(ish) weeks pg with #4, nursing ds2, age 17 months.

I nursed ds1 all through my pg with dd, and tandem nursed them for a full year, until ds1 self-weaned at age 3.

I would have nursed dd through my pg with ds2, but she self-weaned much too early...at 16 months. Gave me no small amount of guilt, but what can you do? "Child-Led Weaning" means you let the child lead, right? Not like I could force her to continue! Anyway, I still struggle some about her being so young when she weaned, but I've come to peace with it. There's a purpose in everything....

So far, ds2 is still going strong, although he does not seem to be as strongly attached (to nursing--he is very well attached to my dh and me!) as my firstborn was. I don't know exactly how things will play out over the next few months. One day at a time, and trying to take my cues from him.

I will say that I'm struggling right now--he seems to be constantly chewing on me! Very painful, and I suspect it is equal parts my increased sensitivity and his dealing with the awareness that something is different about my milk. My supply seems to be pretty good so far.....

I also am coming to realize that it has been a loooooong time since I actually nursed a toddler, and I need to make that adjustment mentally/emotionally and perhaps physically. I didn't have the toddler nursing phase (much) with dd, so it's been awhile.

It would also help me, I'm sure, to figure out what I really want for myself (regarding his nursing and eventual weaning) and why... Not that it would change how strongly I feel that allowing him to continue the relationship for as long as he needs is what is best, but right now I feel somewhat ambivalent.....

I think part of my brain is "holding back" just in case he does wean early, like his sister did. I don't want to feel that guilt and (in a sense) rejection again. And yet I can't say that I particularly enjoy nursing through pregnancy....so far it has been bearable, but I remember it getting to the grit-my-teeth point with ds1, before dd was born!

But it is what i feel strongly that I need to do, want to do for my son, for as long as he receives a benefit from it. Sort of hard to describe, all the different emotions and sensations, worries, fears and joys I'm experiencing.

I know that if anyone on Earth can understand it completely, you all can!

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#206 of 292 Old 06-08-2007, 04:05 AM
 
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Hugs, Richella! It is so hard to tandem simultaneously! I tried at first (with firstborn ds and dd) and quickly decided I couldn't handle it. For me, it was simply the difference in the way it feels for a toddler (or older baby) to suck vs. a newborn. I could deal with both separately, but both at once was sensory overload. I wonder if it would be that way with twins, or if their sucking patterns, etc. would be similar enough to make it bearable?

Anyway, here's a hug for you....keep it for everytime you sit down to nurse them! Maybe it will help a tiny bit!

PS...I have LOST seven lbs so far this pregnancy. But I know that I'm eating well, and losing in the first tri--even though I've never experienced any MS--has always been my pattern. I'm sure I'll more than make up for it in the months to come, LOL! IMO, weight gain is much much less important a measurement than your energy levels, and *knowing* you are eating well. And of course, how the baby is growing, though that's not so easy to tell in the beginning. Blessings to all!

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
~~*~~Not your typical Pastor's Wife!~~*~~
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#207 of 292 Old 06-08-2007, 12:47 PM
 
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subbing... my son Alex is going to be two in Sept. (so that makes him, uh, 21 months??) and I am, uh, let's see, due in Oct., so that makes me 23 weeks? or something. LOL. whatever. He's a bruiser. too busy in the day to nurse much (SO much different from my daughter in that respect, wow)... but always nurses to sleep at night after we tuck the big kids in and give kisses, I think my milk is finally drying up tho.. he doesn't stay on long. I unhook him though when his breathing and suck slows down. Then he just snuggles in and relaxes and I hold him and watch TV for a while. It's nice. I worry about what our routine is going to be like once the new baby arrives. I remember when I tandem nursed my daughter when Alex was the newborn, and it drove me nuts, I couldn't wait to wean her. She was a bit older though.
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#208 of 292 Old 06-08-2007, 12:51 PM
 
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Oh man...my milk slowed immediately and has been completely gone for some time now (I'm 26 weeks, ds is 23 months). I didn't mind so much, b/c I hear how hard tandem nursing can be. Two years was my goal for nursing.

But lately! He began just 'suckling' again, more and more and more and more. During the day he grabs my nipples just to hold on every time he is near. I try to be patient, but am also trying to discourage it b/c there are moments when having my nipples hurt or grabbed while I'm in the middle of things is really, really grating or painful.

I'm kinda afraid he'll just keeping going until the baby is born and then nurse again-- which sounds OK until I realistically contemplate having him on me all day and a baby, and worrying about the baby getting enough. I don't know if I'm cut out to tandem nurse. But I don't know how to wean him from this, he really hollers if I try to keep him from touching me all day and night. If he doesn't fall asleep easily at night he'll just twiddle them for 40 minutes straight. Drives me craaazy. I'm just surprised he is doing this more when there is no milk. They're like his lovies!
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#209 of 292 Old 06-08-2007, 02:28 PM
 
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I'm just pregnant (6 weeks), and still nursing our 15 monther. I find myself so so hungry all the time!! And I'm thinking I might like to night-wean.

Andi - roller derby, slave to the hoop, birth junkie, lover of love, single mama of 4
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#210 of 292 Old 06-08-2007, 02:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zjande View Post
I haven't gained a pound yet though, which is a bit worrisome to me. How has all of your weight gain been?? Are you guys finding it harder to eat enough to sustain nursing AND pregnancy easily?
I'm noticing the same thing. I didn't gain anything in the first trimester and now at about 15 wks I've gained a pound. Last pregnancy when I wasn't nursing, I gained 6 lbs in the first trimester alone! My appetite is picking up though, so maybe I will start gaining. It's weird to eat and eat and not gain.
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