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Stressed, tense, nervous wreck :(

794 views 7 replies 7 participants last post by  Tanibani 
#1 ·
Ok, I'm about 9 weeks along with #2. I hate how I'm feeling


The background: DD was a 29 week preemie and we went thru a really traumatic emergency c section and 3 months in the NICU. For a long time I had flashbacks and panic attacks about all the stuff that happened. She's 21 months old now.

This pregnancy was unexpected. Part of me really is happy because I really DO want another baby. But I didn't realize the emotional impact that another pg would cause.

I am SOOO tense....my back muscles are like concrete, tension headaches, can't sleep, very tense with dh, not coping with dd's needs very well....etc....

I know it must be partially hormonal, but I was on cloud 9 when I was pg with dd and the pregnancy (up until the premature birth) was awesome. I hate thinking how my stress level could be affecting this pregnancy.....

I'm SO exhausted, but strung so tight I can't sleep at night....

I'm so snappy with dh, which I *hate*

Basically I'm just a wreck.

I've tried some aromatherapy, warm baths, even tylenol for my headaches (which I normally avoid) warm neck pillows....

Any ideas for stress relief?....this is really a struggle for me....

Thanks for letting me "get it out" anyways....
 
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#2 ·
I was nervous and tense when I found out I was pregnant the second time. I wasn't quite ready for another baby.

It took me about 16 weeks to finally get a grip on myself and start to enjoy my pregnancy and look forward to the baby's birth.

What helped me was to stop resisting how I was feeling. First I admitted to myself that I had fears about how I was going to have a baby in the house and continue to run my business. I discussed my fears with hubby who was very reassuring. I also needed to start making plans for this baby's arrival.

But the key was to accept what I was feeling and begin to change it slowly. In your case, I would talk about your fears as much as possible, with your DH, friends, and us here. You can't relax until you stop resisting what you're feeling. Go ahead and feel tension and worry for a little bit, acknowledge it, give it some space, and then slowly let it go.

It will take time, but I think that sooner rather than later you'll start to unwind a little.

I hope that was helpful. I just wanted you to know that you weren't alone.
 
#4 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by owensmom
Maybe check out Birthing From Within, or take a BFW class? They have a lot of art as therapy type things, to help you get past anything that may hold you back during labor. I think it really can help!
I have that book and I'll look through it. I know I'm facing a scheduled c section this time though. (DD was an emergency c section)

I think now that the first trimester hormones are calming down a bit, I'll feel better.

This pg just caught us by surprise.....
 
#5 ·
I highly recommend shelling out the money for a pre-natal yoga class. I'm pregnant with my first and have very few stresses in my life right now (other than money and buying a house!), but I must say, the yoga class is AWESOME. Not only is it good physical exercise, but I feel so good mentally afterwards too. I would choose it over any kind of medical pre-natal care if I had to make that choice! (well, maybe) It's definitely the highlight of my week. But I'm sure the teacher makes a difference so ask for recommendations! I recommend a class over a video because the class forces you to take the time and slow down where as with a video you could rush it if you felt distracted. My class is an hour and a half. We spend the first half hour mostly just talking about how we're feeling and the last hour is yoga. I love it.
 
#6 ·
The above ideas are all good.

I would add to them to get a massage. Drink lots of water before and after -- pamper yourself in any way you can to de-stress. It also helps me to walk -- NO EXERCISE -- but walk -- we have a park nearby that I go to and walk around the pond and feed the ducks.... I refuse to think of it as exercise, but it sure helps me unwind!

kathy
 
#7 ·
yes all those are very good ideas

something I wish I had done sooner in this (anxious) pregnancy is consult a good mother-and-baby oriented naturopath. She has been extremely helpful with minerals and herbal remedies and recently when I finally fessed up about not sleeping she strongly recommended a herbal sleeping remedy( I had already tried everything else I could think of). Sleeping better has really lowered my stress levels - I just thought I was stuck with poor sleep but it's not so - now I only have to deal with "normal"sleep interruptions of pregnancy and best of all can get BACK to sleep when I wake to change position or go to the toilet

I hope things get better for you soon
 
#8 ·
Hi, sorry to hear about your intense discomfort right now. I would attribute it (though I don't know a dang thing) to how badly things turned out the last time (i.e., very traumatic, stressful, scary for you).


Explore your feelings
Maybe if you could start journaling... start acknowledging your feelings and putting them on paper. Or taking meditative walks. Spend some time in nature with your DD. Anytime I am really stressed, going to the park all day helps.

New Way Childbirth tapes
http://www.newwaychildbirth.com/
You may want to order the audio tapes here. I plan on using it for my next pregnancy. I was very happy with my HypnoBirthing class, but I am looking for something to help me really bond with my next baby in-utero.

1. It will help you to de-stress (very important for your body).
2. It will help you to bond with your baby.
3. It will help you enjoy THIS pregnancy (no reason to live in fear.)
4. It will help carry you with joy to the C-sec birth.

I heard from a respected childbirth educator that these tapes are excellent. I'm glad to hear it because I want to order them.

HypnoBirthing
http://www.hypnobirthing.com/
Yes, you can certainly try a BFW class, but I really enjoyed my HypnoBirthing class. We did some hypnosis/relaxation exercises in the class, and I always felt energized/revitatlized afterwards. It was wonderful.

You also get 2 audio tapes to practice relaxation with daily. You learn how to let the tension melt away from your body. It was thanks to these tapes that my 18 hour labor in the hospital was completely PAIN FREE. (Tensing during labor is what causes the pain. No tension, no labor pain.) You can read my birth story in this thread

Pre-natal Yoga
Great for your body and good to get you out of the house and around other pg women for company.
 
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