Names and Your Partner - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 02:47 AM - Thread Starter
Mizelenius's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: In Lalaland
Posts: 6,938
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
How are you picking a name? Do you feel that you and your DP have to agree?

For us, with #1, we both agreed immediately on the name.

With #2, DH picked the name, and said that was his favorite. He said I could come up with other names and IF he liked them (he didn't!) then OK, but if not . . .well, he just absolutely refused to talk about it. It was maddening.

Now we are at #3. We cannot agree on a name. DH would be happy to go with one of his picks, but I am standing up for myself and going with MY pick. Once in awhile I feel guilty about that, but then I remember what happened last time . . .now it's my turn.

 2/02, 4/05, 2/07, 11/09, and EDD 12/25/11 wave.gif



Mizelenius is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 04:19 AM
katt's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: The Great NorthWest
Posts: 3,388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We throw names out at each other and when we can agree that we like it or we can live with it, it goes on The List. It isn't a huge list, but we both could live with and like the names on it. After baby arrives we'll go through and see which fits best. if none, then we'll keep at it until we can find something that works the best.

We have similar tastes in naming so that makes it easier.
katt is offline  
#3 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 11:12 AM
sunnmama's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: surrounded by love
Posts: 6,123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Naming was/is easy for us.....we just find the "perfect" name and consider no others. With both pregnancies (although we never had a boy name for dd....but I felt strongly she was a girl).

Now, my parents, otoh, had a different situation. My mother loved a certain name from a book, and wanted to name her first child that name. My father didn't like it (had a negative connotation from his youth) and refused. They agreed on a different name for first dd.

Along comes second dd (me), and my grandmother (father's mother) says to my father, "You got to name the first one.....your wife gets to use her fav name with this one". LOL.

So, yep, my name is the one that my father vetoed for the first baby. But I think it grew on him

I wouldn't feel bad! If you were bullied with that last baby, I would stand firm with this one!
sunnmama is offline  
#4 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 11:18 AM
Ligmom's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: in baby girl bliss!!!!
Posts: 1,715
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It takes us forever to agree on a name, and in fact we have never chosen a name before our babies were born. We say we have to look at them and see what fits.

We are hoping to pick a name before this one comes, though...It's silly but I'd like to get some things with her name on it at my shower
Ligmom is offline  
#5 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 01:10 PM
Peony's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 15,952
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 14 Post(s)
DH and I have serious naming issues while I'm pg, and then after I give birth it all works out.

For dd1 he hated the #1 name of mine for a girl, I always wanted a little girl named this, we finally agreed on another name that I wasn't too thrilled about. When she was born he said I could name her anything I wanted after going through that. So I did, my #1 name.

For #2, we didn't like any of the boys names we had picked out the first time around anymore, we have different tastes. We agreed to use the name DH wanted last time if it was a girl. It was a girl, but then never one of us liked that name for her. We didn't name her for 3 days while we thought about it. I had also always really like Gabrielle, and everytime I looked at dd2, that's the name that popped in my head. By the third day, I told DH that he baby had to be named today, and if he didn't have any suggestions then I was naming her Gabrielle, he didn't and so I did.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
Peony is offline  
#6 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 03:07 PM
Adamsmama's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 4,264
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dh likes to think of a name that he likes and gets set on it--I like to explore all my options.

With #1 we had always said if we have a boy we want to call him "Adam" and so we did--no problem.

With #2 I said I really feel like we should name him Luke and DH finally came around to it and decided he liked it.

With this one he was set on names from start -- names which I like but I don't feel are right. I want to find the *perfect* name. I'm driving him nuts--but he is pretty stubborn and shoots down most of my options. We found a girl name we both like but my sister likes it too and is due 3 weeks before we are and will probably take it (she thinks she is having a girl).

I hope it works out well for you. I know how frustrating it can be.
Adamsmama is offline  
#7 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 03:26 PM
chinaKat's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,145
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We had a heck of a time with DD! We each had names we LOVED, naturally the other one hated them!

We made each lists (boy and girl). Somewhere in mid pregnancy, we each narrowed our own lists down to ten names for each gender. Then, once a week, we'd sit down with the list and eliminate one name from each list.

By the end we were *somehow* down to one boy and one girl name, but it wasn't easy getting there...

This is going to sound totally lame to some of you, but I have always reserved veto power and wouldn't be afraid to use it if I absolutely had to, in case of a tie. Sorry, but I do all the work for nine months, I get a *little* more influence in the name department.
chinaKat is offline  
#8 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 05:18 PM
velveeta's Avatar
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Posts: 2,567
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
I am becoming worried that this baby is going to be named "Buzz Lightyear" -- it is currently the only name on the table. It was submitted by DS.

I have suggested lots of great names, but DH doesn't like any of them, and I don't like any of his. It was the same with DS. About 5 minutes after my water broke, DH said, "How about Daniel?" And it was perfect. Maybe we will name this baby Daniel, too. Even if the baby is a girl! Just kidding.

This is so hard!

Jean, happy HS mom to Peter (5), Daniel (9) and Lucie (2) and also someone new... baby.gif
velveeta is offline  
#9 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 05:28 PM
Eaglevoice's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 3,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
With the last pg, I had my absolute fav boy name in mind, but dh didn't care for it too much, so we agreed to use it as a middle name. We sort of stumbled upon the first name one day. If it was a girl, dh thought of the name Katelynn one day and I decided it really liked it, and we decided to name her middle name after my sister. We still knew that we would wait till the baby was born to see if the names we had picked fit, it seemed to fit our baby girl perfectly.

This time, dd has come up with a boy name that he really likes. I'm not that jazzed about it, but it's okay... we "might" go with it if it's a boy. We haven't come up with a single girls name yet, I think we are both getting boy feelings from this one.

But anyway, back to you're question... I think it is YOUR turn to pick the name since he was so stubborn last time. That way it will be even, you'll each have a child that you named independently and you'll have one that you agreed on.

Jenn, Birth Doula, Childbirth Educator, Placenta Specialist, future Midwife
Mama to
Big K (6/05), Little K (5/07), stepmama to Middle K (11/05),expecting
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Baby K July/August 2017
Eaglevoice is offline  
#10 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 06:12 PM
Fay's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Venus
Posts: 1,714
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We came up with a set of naming rules that works for us. Every family has its own values and quirks, so I'm sure these exact rules wouldn't work for others:

1. The baby will not be named until both parents have a chance to hold and get to know him/her. (DH feels VERY VERY strongly about this.) But we can suggest names we like throughout the pregnancy with no obligation or promises made.
2. No surnames as first names. Only traditional first names with traditional spellings will be considered. I feel strongly that the name should be significant in literature, history and/or the family tree.
3. No super-popular names. We printed out the top 1000 names list from the Social security website, and DH will not consider any of the top 200 names.

When DS was born, we threw out all of the names we had considered during pregnancy and gave him the name that came to me when I first saw him. The name fits perfectly, and it fits all of our rules. With this one, our top picks are Phoebe, Tabitha or Ursula for a daughter, Jasper, Jude or Dennis for a son. But we'll probably forget all of these when we see our child for the first time.

"Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?" - Andy Warhol
Fay is offline  
#11 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 06:35 PM
lizabird's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Feeding the birds in NC
Posts: 1,976
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I ended up making a list of all the names I liked and dh crossed off the names he didn't want, and we finally agreed on one from the remaining names.

Mom of (11/27/03) and (9/29/06).
lizabird is offline  
#12 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 06:49 PM
JLav's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,006
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
With DS we just kept coming up with ideas until one felt right. From the beginning of my pregnancy we had the name Xavier picked out for a boys name...I think that was our choice until I was entering my third trimester and DH came home one day and said "How about Sebastian?" I just sounded right and when he was born it fit perfectly!
This time we are pretty much decided on the baby's name but aren't committing to anything until he/she is born. We've pretty much had these names picked out since right after Sebastian was born.
JLav is offline  
#13 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 07:22 PM
elmh23's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Where it's hot!
Posts: 9,270
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We both decide on a middle name (so far has been after family.) From there, I come up with first names that go well with the middle name and our last name. I usually come up with a LONG list, so then he weeds them out. If we find one we love, then that's it. However, this time, we'll be taking a list to the birth center because we can't agree.

Mama of three.
elmh23 is offline  
#14 of 20 Old 11-18-2006, 08:21 PM
PatchChild's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,541
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We both keep throwing out names to one another,both with some very strong veto power. I teach and have some names that I will just NOT name a child. Too many negative connotations. Dh has the same feeling about some. Unfortunately, I really like Tyler as a name and Dh responded with such a strong NO WAY that I had to give that one up. 6 more months to go, and I have a feeling that the only way we'll start to narrow things down is to find out the gender.
PatchChild is offline  
#15 of 20 Old 11-20-2006, 05:21 PM
LISSA~K's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 380
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well I'm only seven weeks, but I am dreading the name hunt with DH. He is so uncooperative and refuses to come up with anything on his own. : DS on the other hand already insists it is a boy and he will be named Jack-short for Jackhammer I guess if it's a girl she could be Jaquelinehammer DD came up with lotus for a girl. I'm pretty proud of my creative kids : But I'll still be picking out a name up until the poor babe is born!
LISSA~K is offline  
#16 of 20 Old 11-20-2006, 06:04 PM
torio's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: near the mangrove estuaries
Posts: 883
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We've got a few girl's names we both like; one boy's name that is probably okay, though not my favorite. (DH hates my fave boy name.) DH and our midwife think the bean is a boy. Either I have no intuition or I'm simply too open-minded to lean one way or another. We're both artists and my nephew warned us that we better not name the baby something silly like "paintey." Okay, but what about sculpey? I replied. My mom's only concern is that we'll name the baby a dog's name since most of our dogs have 'people' names.
torio is offline  
#17 of 20 Old 11-20-2006, 06:53 PM
tresleo's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We talk about it through out the pregnancy (although, not as much with each one) but don't make any decisions until the baby is born. Usually, it takes a couple days! It's so frustrating trying to decide names with my dh, because he doesn't offer anything just shoots down everything I say! Ugh!

Our first one, we knew it would be one of two names. We decided when he was 2 days old. It was actually my favorite boys name forever, so I got the first name and dh picked his middle name.

Our second one, we had no idea what we wanted for a first name, but agreed on the middle name as long as it fit well with the first name. The nurse actually suggested a name in the delivery room and as soon as she said it, we knew that was it!

Our third one, we knew the middle name would be after my dad...either his first name or my maiden name, depending on the first name we chose. The last few weeks of my pregnancy, his name was suggested to us and it kind of hovered around us, until he was born and nothing else seemed to suit him at all!

Our fourth was harder...we had no idea what the baby was - found out the sex with all the others - and we didn't name him for 6 days. I really wanted Malachi but dh said anything but! One morning, I woke up and said this is his name! Dh agreed and we both just love it, even though I have NO idea where it came from!

If this baby is a boy, we will name him after he's born, I'm sure because we have no boy name ideas at all! But if its a girl, I think it will be the girls name I have always loved since I was a little girl. Or some form of it, anyway.
tresleo is offline  
#18 of 20 Old 11-20-2006, 07:24 PM
Samjm's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: northeast of Boulder Colorado
Posts: 1,738
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We have vaguely similar, but not quite the same naming styles. I also tend to be abit obsessive about names. So, we've done the same thing for both so far. I send him a list of about 20 names for each gender that I like / love. He immediately vetoes about 2/3 of them. Then we discuss and discuss and whittle away until we have one of each.
Samjm is offline  
#19 of 20 Old 11-20-2006, 08:06 PM
MrsTC's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,131
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I asked dh what his criteria was for choosing names for our children, and told him what mine were so we knew where we were each coming from, and then I bought a few baby name books. For one of them, I went through and chose names that I liked that also fit his criteria and presented the list of what our compromise names were and we narrowed it down from there (we came up with one name from ALL those names) and for the other book, just to get him to go through it to catch something he may not have considered, I asked him to help me pick out a truly horrible name combination to name the baby once we found out the gender through our one sonogram. In the middle of looking for the worst name we could find, he picked out a few that I saved on a list and am using to start the process for this time around. Tricky, eh??
MrsTC is offline  
#20 of 20 Old 11-20-2006, 11:48 PM
54mama's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 396
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We'll discuss names and by the end of the conversation I'll think we've come to some decisions and then bam! the next hour/day/week my husband will say, "but what about..." My inclination is to find some names, discuss them a bit and then make a decision, his is to discuss and waffle and discuss and ponder and discuss and discuss and discuss! I've tried to not let my hopes get up this time around and think we've actually made some decisions after our name conversations, but it still drives me nuts not to just decide already!

Liv, mama to three girls (September 2005, June 2007 and September 2010)
54mama is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 13,227

19 members and 13,208 guests
anacrish , brucebrown , Deborah , Fluffer , hillymum , Katherine73 , Lea Martin , lisak1234 , MamaNika , moominmamma , MountainMamaGC , omarinbox1888 , RollerCoasterMama , rubelin , samaxtics , shantimama , Skippy918 , sren , transpecos
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.