how much do i spend on baby shower gifts? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 23 Old 11-23-2006, 04:05 AM - Thread Starter
xmysticprincessx
 
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i got invited to a friend's baby shower and i'm not sure how much is the "going rate" on how much to spend. i'm not super close to her or anything. i see her maybe once a month or 2 and its usually when a group of us hang out. neither of us really call each other just out of the blue. her dh and my dh have been friends for about 15 years. they are having twin boys, and these are their 1st kids. are you supposed to spend more because they're having twins? i just dont want to look cheap. thanks.
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#2 of 23 Old 11-23-2006, 04:09 AM
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Having had a baby shower recently and been to one recently, in San Francisco, I would say the range is $25 to $50 depending on how well you know the person. When you set up your registry it is nice to have a lot of $20 thru $50 options because people tend to like to buy one item rather than a bunch of $10 items.

Nurse and mother to two beautiful boys, William 06/07/06, George 08/27/08, and our newest addition John Bear, born 9/20/10! Married to my lovely dh for 10 years on 06/04/10!
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#3 of 23 Old 11-23-2006, 04:25 AM
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I am a major gift giver so I don't have a limit. I often will do a breastfeeding basket which is good for both. I buy either The Baby Book by sears or So That's What They Are For by Janet Tamero. I will buy lasinoh and print off the handouts from Kellymom.com on breastmilk storage and what to expect in the first weeks. You could pull off a good BF basket for about $30.
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#4 of 23 Old 11-23-2006, 04:27 AM - Thread Starter
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that's kinda what i was thinking... but i looked at her registry and she has a lot of somewhat expensive things on there. (i'm not buying stuff off the registry, just things i think she will use, ie, boppy pillow, undershirts, etc.) plus, this girl is one of those who thinks they make more money than they actually do and gets the BEST and most expensive of everything. (like she didnt register for the regular $15 baby tub... she registered for the $30 baby tub with the little holder for all the shampoos and stuff.)

i had thought the avg cost was $25-$50 too... but i went to dh's cousin's shower last weekend, and MIL said that she was going to spend $100 and that we should spend about $50. (but that could just be the amount that our family normally spends on each other too.)
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#5 of 23 Old 11-23-2006, 05:00 AM
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This is the unspoken "how much is appropriate to spend scale" I've been raised with for whatever occasion, baby showers included.

Immediate Family or VERY Close Family Member/Friend: $75-100
Extended Family or Close Friend: $30-50
Friend or Acquaintance - Party Invite: $20-25
Friend or Acquaintance - No Party: $10-15 (A shirt, a tie, or something that just LOOKS more expensive but really isn't)
Acquaintance - No Party - A nice card.

So on my scale, your situation is falling in the $25.
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#6 of 23 Old 11-23-2006, 05:10 AM
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Great list, amyleigh!

I was thinking 20-25. Being twins, I may go as high as 30 for the both of them together.
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#7 of 23 Old 11-23-2006, 05:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amyleigh33 View Post
This is the unspoken "how much is appropriate to spend scale" I've been raised with for whatever occasion, baby showers included.

Immediate Family or VERY Close Family Member/Friend: $75-100
Extended Family or Close Friend: $30-50
Friend or Acquaintance - Party Invite: $20-25
Friend or Acquaintance - No Party: $10-15 (A shirt, a tie, or something that just LOOKS more expensive but really isn't)
Acquaintance - No Party - A nice card.

So on my scale, your situation is falling in the $25.
Wow! That is exactly what I was thinking for everything!

I think it is perfectly acceptable for you to just throw together items that you know she will need. I always throw in a bottle of Hylands teething tablets (or baby crack as my hubby calls it) because not everyone knows about it. I found that the items from moms were often much more helpful than many of the items on my registry.

A few years ago I had a baby shower to go to and didn't know the person well. I decorated a few burp cloths (ok...so I sew and have an embroidery machine), and they turned out to be a huge hit. Ever since then, that is my easy gift. They are not that expensive to make (even if you just sew on cute fabric/ric rac/ ribbon), and they look really cute. I know they will always get used. Just thought I would throw out another idea in case anyone wants a crafty idea.
#8 of 23 Old 11-23-2006, 05:22 AM
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If I am close to the person, I buy them a gift card for a years worth of portraits at the Picture People. If we're not that close my fall back gift is a cute picture frame.

I think amyleigh's list is perfect!
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#9 of 23 Old 11-23-2006, 05:25 AM
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For a very close friend/life long friend I spend about $50.
Close family $100.
Not so close friends/distant family $25.
Co-workers/aquaintances $20.

For twins, I would add a little extra. But not a whole lot. Maybe an extra $10 or so.
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#10 of 23 Old 11-23-2006, 05:48 AM
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I just had my shower, and I agree with the PP's advice. Just wanted to add that the coolest gift I got for the shower was a basket full of books to read the baby. You can get them for really inexpensive at places like Ross or Target. Plus the books will be good for both twins!
#11 of 23 Old 11-23-2006, 05:52 AM
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Originally Posted by angelika13 View Post
I just had my shower, and I agree with the PP's advice. Just wanted to add that the coolest gift I got for the shower was a basket full of books to read the baby. You can get them for really inexpensive at places like Ross or Target. Plus the books will be good for both twins!
:

I've almost never seen books given at a baby shower, but it's such an awesome idea.
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#12 of 23 Old 11-23-2006, 06:44 AM
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I wouldd say $30-35 because it is twins and I like the suggestion of a breastfeeding basket or things like Hylands (which we also call baby crack )

Megan Davidson, Labor & Postpartum Doula, Breastfeeding Counselor, Anthropologist, Mom to August (9) and Clay (4), Partner to Shawn.

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#13 of 23 Old 11-23-2006, 07:48 AM
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Not from you ddc, but: I just had my baby shower - people were spending 20-30$ (not relatives). However I really appreciated that everybody got things from my registry. This were the things I wanted or I needed.
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#14 of 23 Old 11-24-2006, 08:32 AM
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A bit off topic of the original post, but when I threw my sister a shower, I asked people to bring their favorite childrens book for the "wishing well" instead of the traditional lotion, wipes, comb idea.

It was neat, because most people signed the inside of the book and it gave her a great jump on her kids library.
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#15 of 23 Old 11-24-2006, 05:32 PM
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i honestly don't remember thinking "how much did so&so spend?" at my showers (unless it was an extravagent gift) but i definitely took note of the useful & unique gifts we got. i know it's hard not to focus on money, but i say, spend what you feel comfortable with in each situation. (not great advice, huh? )

i spent waaaay too much money on my brother & SIL but loved doing it!!! some gift ideas that i enjoy giving that aren't too expensive are....the bathtub they register for along with a sample pack of burt's bees baby bath stuff. or...a subscription to mothering magazine. or....favorite books that my girls enjoy/ed reading.

stephanie asl.gif

#16 of 23 Old 11-24-2006, 05:50 PM
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Originally Posted by xmysticprincessx View Post
(like she didnt register for the regular $15 baby tub... she registered for the $30 baby tub with the little holder for all the shampoos and stuff.)
: I registered for nicer things than I would have bought for myself. But I did choose a lot of things that were between $20-50 so there would be something for everyone's budget. I figured people would spend the amount they thought was appropriate, not be annoyed that I didn't choose the most economical version of each product.

ANYWAY...I usually give Robeez shoes as a baby gift. It just kills me to see tiny little baby feet crammed into rigid shoes. And the price is just right, around $25. For twins I'd probably give two pairs. I think of the gift as being for the baby, not the parents, if that makes sense. Two babies, two gifts.
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#17 of 23 Old 11-24-2006, 06:06 PM
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I'm with everyone else here The three most recent showers I've been to where a real range-- my Dad's partner's daughter, my best friend and my DH's cousin I gave my Dad's partners daughter a breastfeeding basket (Breastfeeding Cafe book, lansinoh, breast pads), that was around $35, my best freind a "baby's favorite things" basket (all the stuff I found most helpful with DD including Hylands and a sling) that ended up being around $70. And then DH's cousin got just the "The Baby Book" for around $25.

sleepytime.gifC.- WOHM, CPST Instructor, and all around busy Mama to  blowkiss.gifA.- 02/04, bouncy.gif I. 01/07,babyf.gifE. 09/10 and

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#18 of 23 Old 11-24-2006, 07:10 PM
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I don't think there is any amount a person "should" spend. A gift is a gift, imo--not an obligation.

You should buy something that gives you joy to give, and that you think she will need.

The biggest thing for me is, I would never want a friend or loved one to spend more than they can afford on me because they think they "should". I would much rather have something they can afford--given with joy and from the heart.

I would never begrudge a friend a nicer bathtub, lol. Why does that bother you? She chose the one she liked, and it is within your budget to buy it for her....so why not?
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#19 of 23 Old 11-24-2006, 08:40 PM
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I've always been of the mind that I should give what I can afford and what I enjoy giving.

In my case, I almost always give books. They don't have to be chewable books for use in the first year. I often give nice books. Sometimes I give silly books. Most of my friends are readers and will read to their children from birth.

Sure, lots of folks give babybabybaby! stuff, which is great and useful, but the books are often overlooked and always appreciated. I also write the date and a small note inside the cover.

Chasing DS since April 2007 and pumping for DD March 2013.

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#20 of 23 Old 11-24-2006, 08:47 PM
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I think it depends a lot on what your budget is for spending, and then how well you know the person. I spent about $300 on my best friend for her first baby. I had started buying things here and there when she announced her pregnancy. I probably spent about another $150 on her shower (threw it with 2 other girls). For the average sgower, I spens between $40-80. Just depends on what my budget is....and again, how well I know the person.
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#21 of 23 Old 11-26-2006, 03:33 AM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
I would never begrudge a friend a nicer bathtub, lol. Why does that bother you? She chose the one she liked, and it is within your budget to buy it for her....so why not?
i just picked the bathtub as an example. it was close to the top of her list and something i remembered. a lot of the things she had on the list seemed like they were kinda silly (wipe warmer, bottle warmer, special rack for baby food and bottles, diaper genie, etc) or were the most expensive version she could find. if one of my guests had a $30 budget to stick to, i would rather have him/her buy me a regular tub plus a package of washcloths, baby wash, diaper creme, etc than just the super deluxe tub with fish patterns and a little rack. but that's just me, that i would want someone to get the most for their money. and i'm very practical. (but you probably already figured that out when i said the wipe warmer was dumb ) plus, i have a 20 month old already and i know how quickly babies grow out of things. (dh gets mad when he looks at all the "junk" in the attic, but a lot is stuff we're saving for the next baby.) i guess i just cant justify spending big bucks on something that will only be used for a few months (if that) and then put away to collect dust or sold at a garage sale for $2.

you have to realize that this is a girl who doesnt bat an eye when she spends $150 on a pair of jeans or $100+ on a designer purse. she has to have the most expensive stuff but wonders why they cant afford to buy a house (even though she and her dh make the most money out of all of our friends, many of whom own homes.) she is someone who believes that you *need* a full sized SUV to have kids; a regular car will just not work. (she believed this even before she found out they were having twins.)
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#22 of 23 Old 11-10-2014, 08:37 AM
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Did you check her registry? If you did, then you can search for the price of the items and you can pick them what you will prefer. I must say that it really depends on you if you will spend more for a baby shower gift. As you have said, it's their first and oh, they're having twins, so most probably they will need some baby products that are much expensive. You can go for bathing stuff, first aid kits or car seat and back seat mirror.

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A Mother's Love
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#23 of 23 Unread Today, 03:45 PM
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Baby Gift

It would be awesome if you give a gift which the baby can use from time to time. So I am recommending a baby backseat mirror from Backseat Mirror.
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