Am I the Only One? OB and Hospital Birth? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 10:53 AM
 
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Hospital here too!
I'd love to give birth in a birthing center, but in Montreal there is just one and there is a HUGE waiting list, and by the time I came to terms with this pregnancy, well it was too late to even have hopes of getting somewhere with the center. So it's gonna be for another life, as this baby will be my last one.

I must admit that I'm not looking forward to giving birth in the hospital, but I adore my OB and that makes it ok for me.
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#32 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 12:04 PM
 
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Hospital here too! With my medical issues I am risked out of midwifery care, and UC is simply not an option for me, so it's OB/hospital for me too. I am as proactive as I can be about enforcing my wishes regarding labor and delivery, and have had two good births. Ironically, I would consider my C-section delivery to be the better experience of the two, just because the post-natal care at that hospital was so much better than at the hospital where I had my VBAC. But I would consider them both to have been great experiences.
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#33 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 12:08 PM
 
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A woman needs to give birth where she feels safe whether it be home, hospital or birth center. Kudos to every mama who follows her heart and plans her birth for where she feels safest.

I think lots of us that are planning out-of-hospital births can relate to how you are feeling though. Often the "mainstream" discussion boards leave little room for mamas who are interested in natural birth, homebirth, unassisted birth, etc. MDC is one of the few places, online or IRL, that I don't feel out of the ordinary. I hope you find MDC mamas support you for making your own decision.
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#34 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 12:30 PM
 
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Really, my personal hostility about OBs comes from my personal experiences with them. I think many women who find their way to MW care have these experiences. I've seen it as a birthing mother, I've seen it as a doula.

I know that there are docs out there who are fabulous! We have a couple right here on MDC!

But for those of us who have seen trauma and disrespect, it's a hard thing to forget.

At the end of the day, though, you have to make the choices that are best for you. For some, that's a UC, or a midwife, or an OB.
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#35 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 12:58 PM
 
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You just need to make sure that the person by your side (or not) when you give birth is someone who makes you feel safe. It drives me crazy when people (oh...I hope I am never guilty of this) make anyone feel like they deserve or don't deserve to be a part of mdc because________. We are all here for whatever reason.

I have my births at a hospital with an ob. I have a previous history that makes me feel safer at a hospital. If you had gone into respiratory failure while at the hospital and they helped you get better with a positive experience, you may feel that way, too. I love my ob! She is about as hands off as they come. She is supportive of my decision to go natural with hypnosis, and I am sure she would give me several stern lectures about breastfeeding if I choose not to bf.

That said, I do many things that are "very mdc" such as bf, making my own organic baby food, cloth diapering (even making them), babywearing, and the like. I think we all have bits and pieces that brought us here. We should embrace the parts that make us alike rather than those that show our differences. I am also pretty sure that we have all experienced the "are you out of your mind for ________________?" I am sure that there are several bets going on right now for all of us. Will she go natural? How long will she really bf? How long will she cd before she breaks down and buys sposies?

Just know that you are not alone, and there is support for you no matter what your decisions. Ok, unless you have no idea/reason why you are doing what you are doing (that always makes me so mad...I don't know why I am doing______...didn't even think about it).
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#36 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 01:07 PM
 
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Am I the Only One? OB and Hospital Birth?
I highly doubt it hun, its up to no one but you and your partner where you give birth, i'm sorry if people make you feel guilty, you've no reason to feel guilty about it. I've had all my lo's at home and i'm sure if i went on to a mainstream board some people would say something about that, but do i care, not really, i'm lucky in the fact that mw care is free on the nhs, so i could have the choice which i'm glad of.
take care, just think about enjoy the rest of your pregnancy

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#37 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 01:14 PM
 
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I refuse to feel guilty. I read posts that bash OBs and hospitals, and I just take them for what they are...another person's opinion/experience. Since such posts aren't directed at me, I don't take them personal. Heck! I'm having a sceduled c-section by an OB in a hospital....shoot me!
I have made the best decision for myself and my family, and that is good enough for me. I'm not STOKED about having a c-section, I don't brag about it, but I make NO appologies for it either.
You have no reason to feel guilty, so don't!
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#38 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 01:20 PM
 
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hospital birther with an OB here. i had a great experience my first time and plan to do it again. you're not in the minority. we just aren't as vocal
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#39 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 01:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AmandaBL View Post
SO many people choose (for whatever reason) an OB attended hospital birth, it's not exactly lacking in acceptance. 98% of the time, nobody will freak out at an office party if you mention that. Try answering "where are you having the baby?" with "In the dining room" and you will see why some of us LONG for a friendly place to chat. It's your choice to make as to where & how you birth, but it's VITAL that those of us who birth unconventionally have a supportive place too.

Best wishes for a FANTASTIC birth!
Exactly. You are hardly alone.

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#40 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 01:42 PM
 
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and a teaching hospital, and just could NOT recommend the hospital. Interestingly, the OB is talked about quite positively by some in the doula community, and I have come to think that I had the bad luck of getting him on a bad day. And I was not at all educated, or I would have gone with a midwife, in the first place.

Having been through a really traumatic experience with the OB, and having had really bad hospital experiences, I just wouldn't want to go that route again. For me, I learned about my preference for midwifery care the hard way. I think with more info a LOT of other mothers would choose midwifery care, too.

I don't wish anyone have a bad OB, or bad hospital experience, but it does upset me to find some women so accepting of the shit treatment, in other words not complaining when they have every right to complain, IYKWIM?

That said, an OB and hospital birth is the right choice for some women, but my gut tells me it is NOT the right choice for many. Because OBs specialize in abnormal birth, not NORMAL birth. I think OBs should be consulted in rare cases, and midwives be the norm for low-risk mothers. And there are places in the world where this is so, and their maternal and baby death rates are MUCH lower than ours. . . .

I had such a wonderful birth experience with my daughter and the midwife, at a birth center and I have to say that I am VERY grateful.

When I hear that a woman is choosing an OB, it is not in my consciousness to criticize, one because so many women use OBs in this country, and two because I just don't think that my sticking my two cents in it will mean anything to the woman. Choosing an OB or midwife is a personal decision, and I am really averse to sharing my opinion, unless prompted. And you know what? No one in real life has ever asked me what I thought they should do about choosing between a midwife and an OB.
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#41 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 02:30 PM
 
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I am having baby #3. All three will be born in hospitals. My first DD was born with the aid of a midwife and it was by far my worst experience. I live in a small town and don't have the option of a midwife this time around. I think their level of care can be wonderful, but in the end I think it's the personality and beliefs of whatever type of care professional you choose that will have the most beneficial (or not) relationship for you.

OTOH, I am stuck with either getting my prenatal care at the health dept or an OB group where I see all practitioners. I REALLY don't care for one of the providers, man I hope I don't get him when I go into labor. Unfortunately I am stuck with whomever is on call. I dislike this a lot.
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#42 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 03:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by klondikesky View Post
Now let me step off my soapbox and don my flame retardent suit...
Do you know where I can get one of those suits? Because I have been burned several times! I am having a hospital C-section by a Perinatologist (I have placenta previa) and I refuse to feel like crap about it! I have had two losses and quite frankly don't give a rip how I give birth-having a healthy baby is all I care about, and having a homebirth with placenta previa would be extremely dangerous. I don't care what anyone says, it's your choice, it's o.k, and no, you aren't alone. Good luck!
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#43 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 03:09 PM
 
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Do you know where I can get one of those suits? Because I have been burned several times! I am having a hospital C-section by a Perinatologist (I have placenta previa) and I refuse to feel like crap about it! I have had two losses and quite frankly don't give a rip how I give birth-having a healthy baby is all I care about, and having a homebirth with placenta previa would be extremely dangerous. I don't care what anyone says, it's your choice, it's o.k, and no, you aren't alone. Good luck!
I don't think there's a single person on here who would think you were being scammed or lied to by your OB for having a cesarean for placenta previa. Most women here are educated enough to know this is one of the true obstetrical emergencies. I've never heard of anyone having a homebirth with placenta previa. Or even a vaginal birth.
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#44 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 04:25 PM
 
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I'm having a hospital birth.
We only have one midwife around here that I know of (there maybe some in the Amish community) and she was arrested last year (I think thats when it was) for delivering a baby. And while a friend told me that she is still delivering babies I just currently don't have a desire to use her. Plus she's about 2 hours away. I can't afford a midwife anyway. Not sure how I'm going to afford a hospital birth even with our insurance!
Also I was high risk with my first and because I had restrictions during labor it didn't progress naturally and I had interventions. Part of me wants to have a normal labor in a hospital first.
And I really like my OB. I've noticed in a change of hospital policy since he's come to town. I'm delivering at the same hospital but with a new OB. My old OB moved away.
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#45 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 04:28 PM
 
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Oh I just wanted to add that I kinda understand what the OP is saying. I have read some posts by moms going to have a hospital birth and a homebirther saying "well you wouldn't have to worry about that if you were having a home birth." But we all live in harmony!
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#46 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 04:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Thalia the Muse View Post
My daughter was born in the hospital, with an OB attending. I even HAD AN EPIDURAL "gasp." It was a great experience, both she and I were healthy and happy, we did not have the infamous "cascade of interventions," the staff was supportive of nursing and rooming in, and I have no regrets or second thoughts about it at all. Don't let people guilt-trip you about your birth choices!
This was my experience as well. Please don't feel bad or guilty. You are the mama, it is your choice. You will have a great birth. Educate yourself as much as possible so you can make informed choices when necessary. Homebirth is fine for those who want homebirth but it is not the only choice and is not for everyone.
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#47 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 04:54 PM
 
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Just thought I would add, I am having a planned c-sec with an ob, at 38 weeks even! I tried homebirth & it did not work out. All my live babies are due to medical intervention that is needed for me & my body.
Do not feel bad or let anyone make you feel bad. You need to do what is best for YOU & YOUR BABY!!! I wish you many MANY Blessings!!!!!!!

Cristina - "If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded." Maya Angelou
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#48 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 05:02 PM
 
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I've used an OB and hosptial for all 3 pg. I've also had 2 c-sections, and this one like my last one will be a planned c-section.

Sarah : , mama to Lucas (8) , Ryan (5) : , Andrew (1yr) , and someone new : due early Dec.
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#49 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 05:41 PM
 
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Amberbella~ I am going to do my darndest to have a natural unmedicated birth at a hospital. I have an HMO and can't afford to pay for a birth center or home water birth that I would prefer.
I do, however, plan on hiring a doula and a hypnobirthing practitioner to help me work through it all.
I've heard great things about the hospital I want to deliver at so I think it will turn out the way I'd like pending no complications. Plus I'd like to be able to labor at home as long as possible. But since this will be my first I pray that I don't get to excited or panic.

So you are not alone!

Do your research on hospitals that you can deliver at. Some are better then others. I switched OB's for a couple of reasons but I wanted the facility more then the OB because usually there are several OB's in an office and even if you have been seeing the same OB for your whole pg there is no guarantee that they will be the one available during your delivery.

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#50 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 05:59 PM
 
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I just wanted to chime in here too....

I had a hospital birth with my well trusted ob and it was the most wonderful experience of my life! I am planning the same for number 2.

Do what is best for you girl!!!

Take Care!

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#51 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 07:05 PM
 
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I want to chime in here and remind everyone that Mothering recognizes a need for medical intervention in pregnancy and birth. However, we need to make sure that we are not crossing the line by promoting ELECTIVE ceseareans. It goes against our UA.

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Mothering.com is the website of natural family living and advocates natural solutions to parenting challenges. We host discussion of nighttime parenting, loving discipline, natural birth, homebirth, successful breastfeeding, alternative and complementary home remedies, informed consent, and many other topics from a natural point of view. We are not interested, however, in hosting discussions on the merits of crying it out, physical punishment, formula feeding, elective cesarean section, routine infant medical circumcision, or mandatory vaccinations.
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#52 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 07:33 PM
 
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I want to chime in here and remind everyone that Mothering recognizes a need for medical intervention in pregnancy and birth. However, we need to make sure that we are not crossing the line by promoting ELECTIVE ceseareans. It goes against our UA.
Does a routine repeat c-section count as "elective"? I'm curious where the line is drawn here.

I don't consider mine elective since I was told by my OB that I'm not a candidate for a VBAC based on the size of my incision, but to some people here, it's probably still elective.
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#53 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 08:26 PM
 
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I sure wouldn't consider that elective. I think elective is like what Brittney Spears did, (b/c she didn't want to feel any pain). Your c/s is being done on the advise of your OB, for a medical reason, even though I'm sure some people here would still consider that "elective".
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#54 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 08:29 PM
 
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I don't consider my next birth by c/s elective and I don't feel that I should have to justify it every time. I don't think that is necessary to be following the UA and not advocation for ECS
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#55 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 08:49 PM
 
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I've had 2 hospital births with an OB and I'm going for my 3rd! I'm very fortunate to have been at the hospital when I was pushing because I had to have emergency c-sections each time. I did do my research and I made the educated decision that an OB and a hospital were the right choices for me. Good luck with your pregnancy and labour - you're doing what is right for you and your baby.

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#56 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 10:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Thalia the Muse View Post
My daughter was born in the hospital, with an OB attending. I even HAD AN EPIDURAL "gasp." It was a great experience, both she and I were healthy and happy, we did not have the infamous "cascade of interventions," the staff was supportive of nursing and rooming in, and I have no regrets or second thoughts about it at all. Don't let people guilt-trip you about your birth choices!
Same here...our reasons for being at the hospital with an OB were financial, too. I knew very well what I was getting into. I do wish I could have had the opportunity to do things differently, but I'm happy with how they went.

Me (27) DH (30)...9 Years

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#57 of 58 Old 02-08-2007, 11:02 PM
 
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hugs to everyone here who hasn't felt supported.

i have had three hospital births as well. i had an epidural with my first, and i ended up with a c section with my third. i WISH i was the person that wanted to be at home in my tub delivering, and maybe by the end of this pregnancy i will be, but i'm not naturally that person and i haven't been for any of my other babies.

that said, i have had excellant treatment from my OBs. i've lived in three different states for the deliveries of my three children. so, i've never had a repeat. i LOVED my first and second OBs. the third i didn't care for but someone from a different practice delivered me and he was absolutely AMAZING. i dropped my OB and her partners at my 6 week check up.

when i was working in the NICU and while in nursing school i saw some TERRIFYING OBs. i mean if i had been the mom delivering i would've cried and fired them on the spot. some yelled, some were just down right rude, one threw a blanket at the mom's face, totally uncalled for stuff. so, i do think that getting the ideal OB from the beginning can make your experience good.

i also think that having a very clear birth plan is very important! if you go into birth knowing what you want, and making sure that your care providers know what you want can make your birth everything you want it to be

i don't care for the bashing, but i don't really think about it or get into it. i do know where it comes from though. and i'm glad that MDC is here for those that do have births that aren't considered " medical" and "conventional" i'm glad that women who have delivered in their cars, or who have delivered at home by themselves can come here and share those experiences! i know that if i were that woman, i would want to be able to have a safe place to talk about my birth!!
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#58 of 58 Old 02-09-2007, 05:50 AM
 
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to the OP, i would say that it is your body, your choice. you are the one that is going through this experience, and you should be doing it the way you want.

personally, i am going to try and have a home birth. it's just what i want, what will make me the most comfortable.

i have a friend who had a 100% elective c-section. i'm definitely not promoting it, but i'm certainly not judging my friend, either. i saw some of the pain that brought her to her decision - and with that in mind, i find it really hard to make a judgement about the choice she made.

i consider myself "crunchy" but not radical enough for some, maybe. the judgeyness of crunchy subcultures can sometimes be saddening.
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