Pregnant with #1 in our 30s - Page 13 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-02-2007, 07:53 PM
 
~minnow~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 764
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yay! Thanks for the congratulations. Emily -- thanks for the smilie parade My first!
~minnow~ is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 05-02-2007, 10:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
Dee-Groovy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,371
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow I've missed a lot!

Laura congrats on your boy!

Minnow congrats on your girl!

It's so exciting that so many of us are finding out the genders of our babies. Now that I've been convinced to find out, I can't wait.

Yay for the end of the semester! It's going to be an insanely busy Summer for me but luckily I think my energy is coming back now that I'm officially in the 2nd trimester. Hopefully my weight will level out too, or else I'll be colossal by the time the baby is born.

My doc appointment was wonderful - he said all the right things (like not wanting to interfere with 30,000 years of evolution) and I felt really comfortable with him. DH was there & they did a vaginal u/s (which wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be). It was so exciting to see the baby moving around and even kicking in there! DH is excited now and immediately emailed the u/s pics to his parents and best friend. Phew it's nice to see the ambivalence disappearing and I feel like I can be excited again too. I got one u/s pic of the baby butt and it looks like s/he has a penis. It may be too early to tell but the doc said he'd bet on boy if he was a betting man, and we're hoping that penis sticks around.

Julia I had a wonderful time in DC! I'd never been there before and was pleasantly surprised. Didn't have much time for sightseeing but I enjoyed seeing a few things. The White House is so small! How weird!

OMG is this a pregnancy thing? Speaking of sightseeing, I walked about 5 miles in one day this weekend and by the end of it I felt like my hips were broken. Each step hurt. It was awful and I didn't get to see as much as I wanted to b/c I couldn't walk much for the next couple days. I know about relaxin and hips spreading and all that, but can it all happen at once? The others were complaining about their feet and blisters but all I could say was "my hips!"

I started putting a registry together at Amazon. It's a special thing til the end of May I think, if you start a registry w/ at least 15 items on it in May they'll send you a coupon for 25% off baby purchases during June. Seems like a good deal since they usually have good prices anyway. Now I've realized how much stuff I need even while keeping it simple. Wow.

Emily I'm sorry you're left to prepare by yourself. It must be really frustrating and maddening, especially since you know your DH will be crazy about your son as soon as he's born and will wish he would have helped you.

About the emotional stuff - I agree with Minnow - it's nice to be able to blame it on pregnancy instead of being rational all the time. I'm also normally very independent and I'm enjoying the little bits of extra attention, like asking people to bring me things or carry heavy stuff. It's a little taste of girlie-ness in my nomally gender-equal mentality. I read somewhere that morning sickness might be an evolutionary design to make women more vulnerable so they need men more. It makes sense - whether you're physically sick or emotionally vulnerable (or both) it helps the two of you to function as a unit in preparation for parenting. It also provides outward signs of pregnancy to men before the belly gets big.

Ok, ok I'll stop writing now. : I hope everyone's doing well & I'm glad to be back!

Dee, mommy to Miss M 11/07 and little Miss I 5/10/10!
Dee-Groovy is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 08:06 AM
 
rock_dr's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: wild wild west
Posts: 733
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Gotta love insomnia for upping my post count.

Oh no, I guess I am going first then. Be warned I really have no idea what I’m doing.

Minnow: Yay baby girl!!! I also have an anterior placenta…

Dee: I had bad hip pain, sciatica, etc. during the second tri. For some reason it’s actually gotten better in the third. I’ve been seeing a chiropractor regularly too. Sounds like a fun trip otherwise though. Your doc sounds great and it could be a boy huh?!

Emily - You know, I’m kind of weird about registries. For one thing I hate clutter so am trying to start with minimum stuff. Also, I realized that registries can be super personal – as in, revealing your planned parenting philosophy, and I’m afraid that would open us up to all sorts of commentary that I don’t really care for (“hmm she’s breastfeeding, baby wearing, and cloth diapering – we’ll see how long that lasts” : ). I know this makes me sound super paranoid, I’m just sensitive to that stuff (plus the prego hormones have kicked in).

But anyway we asked for gift certificates to home improvement places (for fixing up the baby’s room) and the standard baby stores. Main big ticket items thus far were furniture (crib, changing table/dresser, rocker), cloth diapers (I bought pre-cut kits from a WAHM site and my awesome mother sewed them for me - about half price ), arm’s reach cosleeper bassinette, car seat (graco snugride) with extra base for car #2, stroller (quattro tour? came with the car seat), breast pump (medela pump in style), a hotsling, and clothes for the first month or so. Plus other random small stuff that I’m still thinking of every day. Another big ticket item was hiring a doula ($400). Really, if I had it to do over again I would create my own registry online with links to lot’s of different places (or use one like thethingsiwant.com) and also include the option of helping pay for things like the doula, starting a college savings fund, etc. ah well next time

We are going to a free standing birth center (I HAVE to make it 2 more weeks to deliver there!). So excited about it, I love my midwife and the whole ‘feel’ of the place. Besides reading a ton and being a long time mdc lurker, dh and I did a one day crash course led by a homebirth midwife and her assistants. I didn’t feel that I learned anything ‘new’ but it was good for dh. We feel pretty prepared between the mw, doula, and obsessive reading. But I’ll let you know, maybe we’ll wish we had done more . We just had a great meeting with the doula and it’s gotten me so excited for this birth!
rock_dr is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 03:35 PM
 
greengrey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 241
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Minnow - Congrats on your : : GIRL!!!

CJ - you are definitely the first here and I cannot wait to hear the story of your birth...

Dee - Here's to the baby boy...well to the "soon to be determined" baby boy!!

Emily - the water birth idea sounds amazing! I would so love to do this but again, I am so limited in my options. I think it's a great idea and I've heard it can totally help with the labour pains.

Quote:
Emily - You know, I’m kind of weird about registries. For one thing I hate clutter so am trying to start with minimum stuff.
I also must agree with this. We have such a tiny apartment (I mean it's fine for us and the baby for now but we will have to move) that my husband is like "If anyone gets us toys they are staying at their place and the baby can play with them when we go visit" because any extra clutter is just not happening. The size our stroller alone is absurd in the actual space so anything that is not deemed a "necessity" better have a good reason for being in our place.

Oh yeah...we got off our lazy butts and got a stroller:

Le Stroller....

It's the Graco Quattro Travel System that comes with the SnugRide infant car seat and car seat base. A couple of our friends have Graco's and have been very happy with them so we found it, it as on sale (very good) and they had a neutral colour so we grabbed it.

So 2 items down - 100000 to go....
greengrey is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 04:50 PM
 
k9sarchik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Never never land
Posts: 1,351
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dee ~ We might be having boys together? Keep us posted.

Minnow~ congrats on your girl!

I am having my first prenatal with the CPM on Monday. I was printing out all of my lab results for her on the Kaiser website. Seems that they deleted my HIV test results. Who are they trying to fool? The CNM fed me some BS about the baby having to get tested at birth if I didn't do the HIV test. So I get the test done, it comes up negative and I read that on their website. I complain to Kaiser about the CNM lying to me about having to get the test. Now I want to print out the result and it's gone. Arrrrgh. Are they afraid of getting sued? Weird.

Laura~ wife to my stuntman, Stig, mama to Gavin Rutgar reading.gif(4) and now Wyatt Andreas (1) and 2 little angel1.gif.

k9sarchik is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 05:37 PM
 
dctexan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rock_dr View Post
Emily - You know, I’m kind of weird about registries. For one thing I hate clutter so am trying to start with minimum stuff. Also, I realized that registries can be super personal – as in, revealing your planned parenting philosophy, and I’m afraid that would open us up to all sorts of commentary that I don’t really care for (“hmm she’s breastfeeding, baby wearing, and cloth diapering – we’ll see how long that lasts” : ). I know this makes me sound super paranoid, I’m just sensitive to that stuff (plus the prego hormones have kicked in)
Aw, CJ, that sucks that you feel like your registry will open you to criticism. Fortunately my friends really aren't the kind who will comment on my parenting philosophy. As for family - eh, whatever. I certainly don't care what DHs family thinks (plus they live on the other side of the country) and my family is just super happy I have agreed to give birth in a hospital (my cousin gave birth at home and it TOTALLY freaked everyone out. Of course everything went fine and the babe is now a healthy happy 2 yo. Thanks Cousin for breaking everyone in and making me look mainstream ). Of course none of my friends or family are the types to buy off the registry anyway so really I look at it as a shopping list for me.

I also hear you on the wanting to avoid clutter. I HATE clutter and babies seem to be little clutter magnets. Of course DH is a giant clutter magnet (he's a horder) so it won't really make a difference in our house (between the dogs, DH, and the babe, the whole house will be full of clutter at all times). Is it wrong to have a fantasy that your house burns down so that you have NOTHING and need to start over one piece at a time never buying anything that doesn't have a specific place or purpose? Anyway, my clutter aversion is part of why I am super curious about what other people are buying. I'd love to know what is considered essential. Right now the biggest issue is the Pack N Play. To get one, or not. The baby will not be cosleeping in our bed, that much we know. So we are torn between buying a crib and moving it into our room for the first 6 months or so or buying a Pack N Play and setting it up in our room (putting the crib in the nursery) or getting some other thing for the babe to sleep in for the first few months (cradle? bassinet? Arms Reach cosleeper...I looked at this a BRU and wasn't thrilled with them). Neither grandparent is set up for kiddos, so we thought we might want to have something that travels. However, we don't see the grandparents too often either so maybe it's a lot of expense and effort for something we don't really need? The other problem is that I am not thrilled with the Pack N Plays either. Like the Arms Reach, they seem look and feel "cheap" to me. At this point the joke is between me and DH is that the babe is going to end up sleeping with the dogs on their mats.

Anyway, CJ, thanks for sharing what you did. It is helpful to me is realizing that I don't need EVERYTHING right now.

Alex - Love that Graco pattern - which one is it? I know I want a Snugride car seat, but haven't purchased one yet because I haven't found a pattern I like in a seat that doesn't come with the boot cover thingy.
dctexan is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 07:48 PM
 
greengrey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 241
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Alex - Love that Graco pattern - which one is it? I know I want a Snugride car seat, but haven't purchased one yet because I haven't found a pattern I like in a seat that doesn't come with the boot cover thingy.
Emily it's this one:

http://www.graco.net/e/item.asp?code=3656&s=0513FBD

It's called the Kenbrook pattern. It was between this and the navy (aka Blueberry pattern) one on the website and we kept going back to the grey. I did a google search on it because I couldn't find the name of the colour so I believe it is available in the US.
greengrey is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 08:09 PM
 
dctexan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by greengrey View Post
It's called the Kenbrook pattern. It was between this and the navy (aka Blueberry pattern) one on the website and we kept going back to the grey. I did a google search on it because I couldn't find the name of the colour so I believe it is available in the US.
Bummer, not available on the U.S. Graco site. Stupid U.S.
I also like this pattern
http://www.gracobaby.com/catalog/pro...3&CategoryID=1
It's called Mystic, but even though it is listed on the Graco site, I can't find it in any shops. Gah.
dctexan is offline  
Old 05-03-2007, 09:01 PM
 
k9sarchik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Never never land
Posts: 1,351
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
rock_dr and dee~ Holy cow the hip pain! And when I am in bed I can't stand it.
I am going to the chiropractor asap!

Laura~ wife to my stuntman, Stig, mama to Gavin Rutgar reading.gif(4) and now Wyatt Andreas (1) and 2 little angel1.gif.

k9sarchik is offline  
Old 05-04-2007, 06:17 AM
 
hazieluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: lost on a less traveled road
Posts: 509
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just checking in - I'm around just busy but I wanted to congratulate LANE
CONGRATULATIONS ON A GIRL!!!!

Dee - keeping my fingersex for your little boy!

Btw Emily I'm sorry to mess with you head - we didn't find out at the 20 week ultrasound because my DH was adamantly opposed to finding out. I even tried to reason that if we knew the sex then we could simplify the name problem we're having. Is anyone else still struggling to come up with ANY names they agree on? I think DH has terrible taste and I just don't want to name my child something I don't feel 100% about. UGH!! So anyway we don't know what we are having but I'm hoping for a girl but lately getting boy vibes. We'll see...

About MDC and crunchiness... well I don't think of myself as crunchy (although maybe I am?). Luckily my sister who already has a little boy is the "crunchy" one in the family - and believe me she gets a lot of crap from my conservative family, but we sisters stick up for each other. Well she had her baby at home, babywore, is doing extended breastfeeding and cosleeps. She is a source of inspiration for me. She had her baby at home (I was there) in a pool and guess what - that's what I want to do. She turned me on to Mothering Magazine. I have always been a feminist and this forum to me is all about each woman feeling empowered to make the choices that are right for themselves. I love that it is so supportive and non-judgemental. So I agree with Lane in how I see MDC.

So I was talking to my Mom (she lives in the States) and she wanted to know if she should send me diapers (so funny really, like we don't have disposables here in NL?). I told her I planned to cloth diaper and she was all surprised! I said hey my sister cloth diapered what's the big deal? And she responded that my sister was concerned with the environment.... weirded me out a bit, like I'm not concerned with the environment?

Also DH's family is freaking out about my taste in names and now his mother says she'll just call the baby lil Natalia or lil Jan. Can I just say how much this pissed me off - I saw red! DH just laughed...

I guess I should think about buying a stroller, the popular one here is called Bugaboo and it is f**king expensive... otherwise it's like SUV-land for stollers, they are just huge and still really expensive. I like your Graco Alex! It looks sturdy without looking huge and the basket looks easy to access.

Emily you mentioned that you looked at Arm's Reach Co-sleepers and they look crappy? I can only look via the internet and I was thinking of getting the Sleigh bed one, it's more expensive but looks nicer since it's wood. I have to be very careful because if I buy it online I will have to have my Mom ship it to me over here and then returning it could be a hassle if I don't like it and the whole thing can turn into a money spending bonanza with no results.

CJ - my sister is due around the same time as you! She already has a little boy so she doesn't have too much time to post online. And I agree with everyone else you look great. Thanks for the links to see how your insides are moving around, I'd been wondering about that.

Anyway I was just planning to say hi and then duck out... oh well...
hazieluna is offline  
Old 05-04-2007, 10:23 AM
 
nikkihoi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Urban Jungle, MD
Posts: 390
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hey Everyone! Just peeking in to say HI! Congrats! to the newbies and welcome!

hazieluna
[QUOTE=
So I was talking to my Mom (she lives in the States) and she wanted to know if she should send me diapers (so funny really, like we don't have disposables here in NL?). I told her I planned to cloth diaper and she was all surprised! I said hey my sister cloth diapered what's the big deal? And she responded that my sister was concerned with the environment.... weirded me out a bit, like I'm not concerned with the environment? QUOTE]

This came up with my Mom while we were having lunch the other day. The look on her face made me laugh inside. Looking so puzzled, she said, "as in your going to wash the diapers?" And I said, "yes and DH will too". She just gave me a look like, yeah right. But I have to commend her, I could tell she was bitting her tongue but she said nothing more on the subject.

hazieluna
[QUOTE=Emily you mentioned that you looked at Arm's Reach Co-sleepers and they look crappy? I can only look via the internet and I was thinking of getting the Sleigh bed one, it's more expensive but looks nicer since it's wood. I have to be very careful because if I buy it online I will have to have my Mom ship it to me over here and then returning it could be a hassle if I don't like it and the whole thing can turn into a money spending bonanza with no results.QUOTE]

I've been looking at the Arm's Reach Co-sleepers too! I really liked the look of the Sleigh bed! And that it could be another piece of furniture down the road. However, it says on the website "Due to repackaging issues the Sleigh bed is not returnable." So I called around to the stores the website listed in our area to see if anyone carried it so I could at least look, touch, feel it. People were either clueless (big box stores) or one place said, "they have a sleigh bed?". Very frustrating.: So I think I might go to the locally owned store that didn't know they item existed to look at the originall version and maybe strike up a conversation with them about the sleigh bed and what I'm hoping is that they might be interested in getting one in the store.
If not, I'm thinking we'll get the original. I did find a crib (even though I don't want to use it for night time sleeping) that will convert into a childs bed. Again, a little pricey but saves money in the long run.

Just trying to figure out which "stuff" to get is frustrating me b/c it seems the baby things I'm interested in is either "special order" type stuff or can only be bought over the internet.: I thought this was going to fun.
Ok, that's enough of that.

The up for the day is that I"m 23 weeks today!:
Have a great weekend everyone!

SAHM and loving it with DH, DS (8/4/2007) and DS (10/10/2010)
nikkihoi is offline  
Old 05-04-2007, 11:00 AM
 
greengrey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 241
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Bummer, not available on the U.S. Graco site. Stupid U.S.
I also like this pattern
http://www.gracobaby.com/catalog/pro...3&CategoryID=1
It's called Mystic, but even though it is listed on the Graco site, I can't find it in any shops. Gah.
I really like the Mystic pattern too!! Are you sure Kenwood isn't available in the U.S.? Try a web search because I know that some retailers had it but I am not sure if it was a colour pattern for last years colour scheme or whatnot (I did read about some people criticizing the colour calling it boring and dull...ah well! )


Quote:
I guess I should think about buying a stroller, the popular one here is called Bugaboo and it is f**king expensive... otherwise it's like SUV-land for stollers, they are just huge and still really expensive. I like your Graco Alex! It looks sturdy without looking huge and the basket looks easy to access.
Natalia - Ok ask me how much I love Bugaboos? Love. They're just so...so...cool looking. But my Lord are they ever expensive I agree. The only reason we got this one was because so many of our friends said they liked it. We're definitely picking up a smaller, cheaper one for when the baby gets bigger to use casually.

nikkihoi - As for the Arms Reach co-sleepers I realllllllllllllllly like the look of the Sleigh bed:

http://armsreach.com/sleigh_cosleeper.php

I can't believe you had a hard time with their sales people. You'd think they'd know what stock they carried. Grrrr...

And regarding the cloth diapering, I know my little baby bum was cloth diapered as an infant. To which my mother was like "You? With pins? and a moving baby?" when I brought it up to her and started laughing. I love parental support. She's sadly right. I'd probably prick the baby more times than not.
greengrey is offline  
Old 05-04-2007, 01:31 PM
 
hazieluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: lost on a less traveled road
Posts: 509
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~minnow~ View Post
Ditto this. I also think that all forms of extreme moralizing are just additional tools of the patriarchy to undermine the competence of women. The extreme moralizing attitude toward women and alcohol goes along with the idea that "doctor knows best" in pregnancy. In both cases the pregnant woman is treated as a soft-headed, weak creature who needs to be guided by rational males because left to her own devices she'd mess everything up. Ugh. Like how come alcohol doesn't come with a warning label that says: Warning: frat boys should be reminded that alcohol poisoning causes death? No, of all at-risk populations it's PREGNANT WOMEN that need to be guided specifically by a government warning label.
I just wanted everyone to read this! It's just too good not to x-post!
hazieluna is offline  
Old 05-04-2007, 01:39 PM
 
hazieluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: lost on a less traveled road
Posts: 509
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Btw Alex - you do know cloth diapers these days are 'designer'? All velcro and snaps - not a pin to be found... otherwise I might have to avoid cloth diapering too since I'm a bit clumsy!

Nikki - if you do get to see the Arm's Reach sleigh cosleeper (is there an abbreviation for this thing - geez) let me know if it is as nice as it seems to be online. If I want to co-sleep it's going to be with a cosleeper since DH is terrified of squashing the baby. I've heard I should get him to read "Three in a Bed" but I haven't got around to buying it yet.... aaggghhh so much to do...

Has anyone's nesting instincts kicked in yet? Last weekend was some sort of marathon cleaning fest for me. I don't know where it came from or even where I got the energy.

Well it's 530pm here and I'm off! Yeah for the weekend!!!
hazieluna is offline  
Old 05-04-2007, 01:57 PM
 
PiePie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: completely present with my children
Posts: 7,085
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by nikkihoi View Post

This came up with my Mom while we were having lunch the other day. The look on her face made me laugh inside. Looking so puzzled, she said, "as in your going to wash the diapers?" And I said, "yes and DH will too". She just gave me a look like, yeah right. But I have to commend her, I could tell she was bitting her tongue but she said nothing more on the subject.
Yeah, my MIL used to say all the time that plastic diapers were the best thing that happened for women's liberation. She is deceased, so I don't have to hear about it from her, but I think that memory made CD'ing a hard sell with my DH. He is on board now, as long as it doesn't interfere with day care. which it probably will, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I don't think we will get too much flak on it from folks, given that we will be using a service.

I am definitely expecting the most criticism on co-sleeping. We have a related book (for us) on our registry, and if my mom figures out what it is I will really never hear the end of it. However, we are also registering for crib sheets because we will use a crib eventually...

Last weekend we had brunch with DH's family, and I heard what his cousin thought of natural childbirth (crazy), co-sleeping (we are going to roll over and kill the baby), and NIP ("What are you going to do -- whip it out?" Like my breasts are a deadly weapon!). Hmph! I am relieved that DH was not embarrassed at all -- these relatives are really important to him, so I didn't know how he would react.
PiePie is offline  
Old 05-04-2007, 02:00 PM
 
PiePie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: completely present with my children
Posts: 7,085
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by hazieluna View Post
If I want to co-sleep it's going to be with a cosleeper since DH is terrified of squashing the baby. I've heard I should get him to read "Three in a Bed" but I haven't got around to buying it yet....
we are going to read Good Nights -- it's allegedly more focused on practicalities than philosophy, very focused on safety (my big concern too...), and by a respected pediatrician, J. Weiss.
PiePie is offline  
Old 05-04-2007, 02:32 PM
 
dctexan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by hazieluna View Post
Btw Emily I'm sorry to mess with you head - we didn't find out at the 20 week ultrasound because my DH was adamantly opposed to finding out. I even tried to reason that if we knew the sex then we could simplify the name problem we're having. Is anyone else still struggling to come up with ANY names they agree on? I think DH has terrible taste and I just don't want to name my child something I don't feel 100% about. UGH!! So anyway we don't know what we are having but I'm hoping for a girl but lately getting boy vibes. We'll see...
Wow I am so impressed with your DHs resolve not to know. Kinda cool. Either way, boy or girl you are both going to be thrilled
DH and I are struggling over the name issue. My list of acceptable names is pretty short (maybe 7 names) and DH has only volunteered one potential name (and I am not sure he is really attached to it since he keeps forgetting what it is). However, none of my names are really speaking to me yet either (However, I don't hate them, which I guess is something). Right now I just call him "Baby". I keep hoping inspiration will strike. I have no idea why this is so difficult - I've never had a problem naming my pets! Maybe I need to see the boy before he gets a name.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hazieluna View Post
Emily you mentioned that you looked at Arm's Reach Co-sleepers and they look crappy? I can only look via the internet and I was thinking of getting the Sleigh bed one, it's more expensive but looks nicer since it's wood.
I haven't seen the sleigh bed IRL, so I can't comment on it. The arms reach I saw was the mini cosleeper at Babies R Us and it looked pretty rickety and cheap to me. However, alot of the baby stuff was looking rickety and cheap to me that day, so maybe I just wasn't in the best mood? I don't know, I think I also get annoyed with the idea of buying something (plus all the accessories for that something) that we will be using for only a year or so. Ack. When did babies become so expensive?!
dctexan is offline  
Old 05-05-2007, 11:44 AM
 
rock_dr's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: wild wild west
Posts: 733
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
we just got our arm's reach cosleeper mini, and yes I agree they don't seem as robust as you would like (especially for $130)... but I do think cinched up against our bed it will be ok, and I like the small size. FWIW they seem to have good resale value on ebay. When I was shopping around I remember alot of people saying that the play-yard option was a good one and so is creating a side-car out of the crib... if we had more space I would have done the latter.

regarding names: um, I'm a month away and we still don't know what to call this guy or girl! I’m not telling anyone (irl) what’s on the list to avoid commentary (detecting a theme here?).

Laura: do you have a body pillow for sleeping? Great for the hips.

Natalia: Bugaboo strollers look so awesome.

I need to adopt a healthier sense of humor about negative commentary over our parenting choices. Alot of you guys seem to have a good attitude about people who don't get cd, bf, etc. laughing it off is a good thing.

this theme came to a head yesterday - dh asked me "I know you said you didn't want a baby shower... so if you were going to HAVE a baby shower would you rather know about it or keep it a surprise?"
:
I've been saying NO shower for months. I do not have close friends here (these are dh's friends...nice couples we have dinner with occasionally, just not 'my girls' you know). I mean I REALLY don't want the stuff, the attention, the games, or frankly even the need to socialize for several hours with people who are drinking (I'm pretty uncomfortable at this point and it’s not fun). I burst into tears. When I found out more details (this was planned for OUR house at the end of week 38!!) it just got worse.

I was finally able to talk it out somewhat – it’s been moved to someone else’s house, gift cards are being encouraged, and the hosts have been informed that we really want just a grown up party…but I’m still worried about it AND also feeling like a horrible person for reacting that way when people just want to do something nice for us.

In other news though, I won a teaching award this year at my university… and that made me cry too! Hormones are going crazy.
rock_dr is offline  
Old 05-05-2007, 12:26 PM
 
Grace24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,796
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
CJ congrats on your award! That had to feel good! Bummer about being force-fed a shower...it's hard to explain to someone that it feels like an imposition when they think they're doing something nice. I had to explain this to people when I got married last year...we eloped and I didn't want a shower... same reason, my close friends don't live here, and I was a little nervous about getting married even though I had no doubts, if that makes sense. They respected it...but I do plan on letting them throw me a baby shower...I work with a generous group! We need a lot of stuff! Try to enjoy it at this point I guess...whatever you don't like you can return, right?

Hi to everyone, I'll have to personalize later. I've got my friend's dog visiting and it's a little crazy with my two dogs "showing him the ropes" (i.e. wrestling like crazy to establish dominance...silly puppies) so I'm trying to type and supervise the wrestling match so it doesn't get out of hand. Did I mention these are not small dogs? Anyhow...I had what may have been my first baby dream since I got pregnant. It was an anxiety dream...here it is...

...The baby came and we weren't prepared...it was a girl (cuz I'm so sure this is a girl) and I loved her so much but DH was at work and I had to give her a bath. We didn't have a baby tub or soap so I used regular soap and bathed her in her swing (??!!) I realized I missed work cuz we hadn't hired a sitter and called DH to tell him to come home, and then realized the baby was at the bottom of the water. She was still breathing tho (whew) Man I hate dreams like that! Most of all what I remember tho is how much I loved her.

I can't wait to meet my baby! It's starting to get real. Can't wait to hear the heart-beat at our 12-week appt. next Thursday.

Other than that it's been a crazy and expensive week...between car repairs and sick dogs (puppy had worms cuz I didn't have her on the right preventative stuff) I feel pretty worn out...also lots of work. But I have time to take a nap before work tonight. Yay! Nausea still coming and going but mostly better thank god.

I'll be back later to personalize, it's a little crazy here just now! (woof woof)

Ciao, Julia
Grace24 is offline  
Old 05-05-2007, 08:16 PM
 
PiePie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: completely present with my children
Posts: 7,085
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
CJ, I totally hear you on the shower thing. I want/feel entitled to : a baby shower after how much I have suffered this pregnancy...but I felt the way you are describing with regard to the bridal shower. I wound up surrendering and I have to say my mother looked like it was the happiest day of her life. So it wasn't so bad, in fact it was fun, but had I had my druthers it wouldn't have happened.

DH and I are having a thing. It started last night over baby names. I had thought we were keeping our names a SECRET, at least until we had both definitively rejected them. I thought this would keep us from hearing people poop on names we already liked and it would be like our special thing. So, he talked about what he remembered (?!) from our list with his colleagues. : And they had bad things to say about our boy's name. Apparently he did not think this was a breach of anything because he doesn't feel anything for the names because he is just not there yet (heard this before?!) with regard to wrapping his brain around the fact that the baby is real and coming this way soon!! And he was pissed as all get out at me for being attached to the names -- event though they include HIS grandfather's name and HIS first-choice girl's name. So he wants a do-over, at a time to be determined by him (i.e., not now, later), and I feel like I've got my heart set on this. Names are really important to me -- I have been making lists of my future baby names since I was 5 : , I am really into etymology, etc. But this isn't really about names -- for him it's about me making unilateral decisions (heard this one?!) and for me it's about him not being on board the baby wagon. So he WALKED OUT in the middle of our date -- his choice, the ballet...as if with my body image issues right now I would have chosen to look at perfectly sculpted women -- and so I went out on my own and the more I thought about how unattached he is the more I felt unattached to him and attached to my baby with or without him. I had been feeling fugly, but this guy tried to pick me up in a bookstore by telling me how much he loves Mothering Magazine! He kinda had me when he said that when his son was born (he is divorced, custodial parent of a kid who was cute but definitely in that annoying tween phase) he realized he had to turn off the tv and the computer when his son was awake to devote his full attention to him. This hit home because my DH loves his TV (campaigning for his big screen) and sometimes I fear he is surgically attached to his laptop and I WISH he would turn off the tv and the computer to talk to ME! So no I did not go out with this guy, but it did make me feel less dependent on DH and more secure in doing what I need to do for the baby whether DH is ready to play or not.

So today I went on an architectural walking tour without DH -- yesterday he said he didn't feel like going -- but I have to walk because baby needs me to exercise, and if DH would rather go see a movie then he can do that on his own (which I am sure is what he is doing as I type this). This is our longest fight ever, and probably our second worst, it sucks, but I feel so much less devastated by it than I would have been (and was) 3 months ago. Now I have a job (not to mention a resume of which I am proud -- all of that schooling wasn't wasted), I feel like I am taking good care of baby (unlike when I was just puking), I feel attractive (I went to the spa today...totally necessary!!), and he is lucky to have me! I want him to value me and nurture me, but if he won't, I can do it myself!
PiePie is offline  
Old 05-06-2007, 12:18 AM
 
dctexan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
PiePie - Aw sweetie. Huge heading your way from me. Dh and I had a "discussion" about our relationship, being a team, and the baby Thursday night. It ended up being a screaming fight where I basically told him we were in "real trouble" and we needed to get counseling or something because clearly we can't communicate effectively, we were obviously NOT a functioning team, and I was sick of feeling like I had to do everything to keep the house livable, the pets alive, and to prepare for OUR baby all by myself. Dh's big issues were that I had impossible expectations that NO ONE could ever live up to and that I was angry at him all the time (he is correct about the angry part). We made zero headway (because Dh loves to do the silent treatment) so I went to bed FURIOUS at him. I was actually so mad I was beyond tears (which means I am truly at the very end of my rope, because I ALWAYS cry). Dh was so mad (sad? scared?) he was crying, which means HE was at the very end of his rope too because he never cries. Anyway, we've recovered now (on Friday DH did some shit around the house and I stopped being so angry), but we haven't really made any progress (DH is playing his PS2 and I am on MDC and we still haven't talked about our fight). Blah. Anyway PiePie, I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone and that my pregnancy has been very stressful on my relationship with DH as well. However, I do have the sincere hope that all of this stress results in some growing pains that help us get our relationship to a more mature and better place.
dctexan is offline  
Old 05-06-2007, 01:30 AM
 
~minnow~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 764
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by dctexan View Post
PiePie - It ended up being a screaming fight where I basically told him we were in "real trouble" and we needed to get counseling or something because clearly we can't communicate effectively, we were obviously NOT a functioning team, and I was sick of feeling like I had to do everything to keep the house livable, the pets alive, and to prepare for OUR baby all by myself. Dh's big issues were that I had impossible expectations that NO ONE could ever live up to and that I was angry at him all the time (he is correct about the angry part).
Emily, are you secretly married to my husband? What you've written here is is an EXACT SCRIPT for fights we have. Like every week. Oh, but you'd have to also mention how he never thanked you for transferring his credit card balance which was at 30 percent to your much MUCH lower interest rate. Also how he promised to vaccuum the dog hair out of the car six months ago and still hasn't done it. And he'd have to accuse you of always talking in hyperbole.

PiePie, I'm so sorry you had such a big fight. I'm a fellow namenerd (in junior high I was totally, totally sure I was going to have a daughter named Tuesday Elisabeth) so I know how important that is, and it's a shame that THAT'S the thing he picked to act out about. And my husband has a similar unilateral-decision theme he trots out during fights. But I actually really liked your account of the fight. For one thing, I think "I like Mothering Magazine" is a totally good pickup line. (Also: your husband likes ballet? Wow!) And I really like the empowered note on which you ended. It really, really sucks to be having a huge fight with your DH. But it's so great that you feel attractive and able to be a terrific mother. That has gotten me through some rough times: the thought that *I* can take care of the baby and myself by myself if I have to. I hope I don't have to, but I CAN. It seems important to realize this sometimes. Still, I hope that your DH does something sweet and nurturing for you really, really soon.

Anyway, like Emily said, I believe that some of these fights serve a purpose and are probably necessary if we're to get to better places. Like NOT fighting about issues that are there might be even worse. If you guys are like me, part of the impetus for fighting is that you're kind of scared he'll still be a [jerk] after the baby is born, that he won't change or mature any. But DH has already surprised and shamed me a few times by being really sweet or helpful when I'm being a total hag. I feel hopeful and I'm trying to give us both room for our better natures or best selves to surface. I'm trying to be open to that possibility.

There's more I wanted to respond to from ealier but that'll have to wait. 'Night ladies.
~minnow~ is offline  
Old 05-06-2007, 01:52 PM
 
Grace24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,796
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, girls, I'm sorry things are rough at home. DH and I aren't fighting about that stuff but we do have our issues...I'm glad we don't fight though...we discuss. So far, anyhow. (We're still newlyweds...)

That said, I agree that fighting can be about growing pains...and reading about what's going on with everyone reminded me that I had a friendship end a couple of years ago. She was my best friend since 4th grade but we always stepped around each other's feelings and never EVER fought. Neither one of us learned how to confront...ever. So one day we had a disagreement and I tried to discuss it and she kept avoiding it and just froze me out. In time we sort of recovered but I always felt a little awkward about it. Then a year and a half ago we had an e-mail fight where she told me something hurtful in an attempt to "help me"...it was her opinion on something I was going through which she thought would help me but hurt me. I told her so, as nicely as I could, in an e-mail back, and never heard from her again. I miss her so much but what kind of a friendship is that where you can't be honest with each other? I'm still devastated by the loss of her in my life but it wasn't an honest relationship.

What I"m trying to say is that as painful as it is to fight and as hurt as you feel it's better than sweeping things under the rug. I hope everyone works it all out!

, Julia
Grace24 is offline  
Old 05-06-2007, 02:51 PM
 
hazieluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: lost on a less traveled road
Posts: 509
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well it seems to be something in the air... it must be pregnancy related. I think I mentioned the big blowout (for us since we are both afraid of conflict) where I spent a weekend crying because I just couldn't do it alone anymore. DH has been much better since then. I hope your trials do result in growth. I think for myself pregnancy is pushing me to ask for what I want more directly instead of living with expectation - my normal 'independent' way of handling my needs - basically ignoring them until I explode.

Anyway it sounds like your guys are dealing with their own crap, like the unavoidable approaching reality that life is about to change and they will have to change too. Too bad they don't realize that life has already started to change for us!

Well lots of hugs and hang in there! And of course you can do it on your own but you shouldn't have to.
hazieluna is offline  
Old 05-06-2007, 03:27 PM
 
rock_dr's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: wild wild west
Posts: 733
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
all around!

I don't know if this would help at all, but bringing DH to my midwife appointments really made it feel 'more real' to him. Early on at one appt I kind of hinted at some emotional/relationship issues and she really laid it out for 'both of us' that this was a time where it was a medical necessity for me to have EXTRA physical and emotional support, that he needed to take care of me like never before. He's been pretty great ever since (unwanted baby showers and unauthorized TV purchases notwithstanding )

everyone take care of yourselves!
rock_dr is offline  
Old 05-07-2007, 11:53 AM
 
PiePie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: completely present with my children
Posts: 7,085
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You women are SIMPLY THE BEST! DH and I actually talked on Sunday morning. I wouldn't say our problems have gone away but I no longer feel so fraught about it.
PiePie is offline  
Old 05-07-2007, 12:45 PM
 
greengrey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 241
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
oh my goodness!!!! Hugs to all you ladies who are having husband issues

greengrey is offline  
Old 05-07-2007, 04:20 PM
 
PiePie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: completely present with my children
Posts: 7,085
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
on a happier note (and since WE are doing all the shopping anyway we may as well have fun with it ):
isn't this to drool for? http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do...036&pid=479500
and it's gender -neutral, don'tcha think?
ok, back to work. (can't concentrate today...)
PiePie is offline  
Old 05-07-2007, 04:27 PM
 
jpiper0430's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 153
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Piepie - that is such an adorable outfit! I hope you have better luck concentrating at work today than I do.

Big hugs to everyone having hubby problems. Hopefully, things will change for the better soon!

CJ - How you feeling these days. I hope you are able to enjoy the next few weeks!

I hope everyone else had a fantastic weekend. I'm off to try and get some real work done!
jpiper0430 is offline  
Old 05-07-2007, 05:18 PM
 
k9sarchik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Never never land
Posts: 1,351
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Definitely to all of you out there stressing and DH issues. DH and I have had a few disagreements here and there but DH is more worried about me stressing then I am! So I have that on my side. He doesn't want me to be upset so that it affects the baby.
I am very lucky I guess.
This is a very stressful time for all of us having our first babies and we have no clue what to expect. It's a case of a big unknown and that's scary, ya know.

rock_dr~ I have ordered a maternity pillow. I can't wait for it to get here.

My CPM appt got postponed to Thursday. It was snowing very heavily and foggy at her house.

Well if anyone is interested here is a link to my U/S pictures.
There are several different angles.

Laura~ wife to my stuntman, Stig, mama to Gavin Rutgar reading.gif(4) and now Wyatt Andreas (1) and 2 little angel1.gif.

k9sarchik is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off