Kripa...yes, just jump in...this thread has been going for a couple of months. You're not expected to do homework...just get to know us as we go along (and you already sort of know me
) I'm happy to see you again...you disappeared for a few days so I was worried you might be having trouble figuring out where you felt comfortable on the new threads... I was only on TTC for a little bit but I was comfy there and it was weird moving on. We're happy to have you, and SO happy your "issue tube" is happy and working! See, ya just can't let the doctors tell you what your body is gonna do! Isn't the heartbeat the most amazing thing? I'm still thinking about it! I'm sorry you're sick...hope it goes away soon. How awful to be experiencing early pg symptoms and be ill. Bleah.
So about this amnio...it's weird, I'd gone into the appt. opposed to all genetic testing in this pregnancy...I just don't feel like anything is wrong, ya know? My doc didn't see anything in my medical history or physical health (other than being 36) to alarm her to potential genetic issues. But when you go to an OB they state it so matter of factly...this is what you do next, etc. She wasn't pushy though, she was just telling me what my options were...did I want to do the CVS test now or wait to do an amnio (not "Are you going to do testing"). Maybe they're not used to people turning it all down. I hadn't done the early u/s and she asked why...I said I felt it was unnecessary, and she merely said that it's easier to date the baby that way, but she didn't make me feel bad about not doing it or anything. So I think I like her...but she is an OB, and if I hadn't come to this forum before meeting them, I wouldn't know that I didn't have to have a needle in my stomach. DH surprised me by saying he actually wanted to do the amnio...felt like the CVS was too risky to the baby (1/100 chance of m/c), just said it would be "nice to know". And feeling the relief of having the heartbeat, I thought, how nice to have an amnio and feel the relief of knowing for sure that all is well. But I got some distance between me and the appointment, and thought, nah, not too happy about the needle in the stomach. I just want to trust the process. So I told DH I really really didn't want to do the amnio and he said, ok. He figures until the baby is born, he's just a passenger. It's not his body. I said, well, it is your baby, you do have a say...he said, "Well, yes, perhaps a minority vote."
So I have to say, I really did marry the right guy. He is so respectful of me and my decisions! One of my friends last night was telling me her DH made her do the amnio because he said under no uncertain terms would he ever be able to deal with a Down's baby. Now I know this person...he's a nice guy but...he's got issues. Hey, at least he knows his limits I guess. But DH would never say that to me!
Ok I've gone on long enough. I'm just curious...have other people decided to do testing or not? Since we're all in our 30's, there have to be a few others here who are "AMA" (over 35)...are you doing testing? I don't want to start a heated debate... one thing I know about this thread is that we're all able to say our thoughts and feelings and respect those of others, otherwise I might not ask such a heated question. I'm just wondering what people are doing, if so, which ones. We've just decided to go with whatever we see on the 20 week u/s.
Pie...um, did we have the same mother? My mom put her energy into raising a prodigy as well...my poor straight-A parents had to satisfy themselves with a 3.6 average daughter, how did they deal?
Hehehe It's got to be hard to know how much to pressure your children to work hard, but I think my mom went a little too far. I waffle between being grateful she pushed me and wishing I could've had a little more freedom...after all, I've been successful in music because she did force me to practice...I just could've done without some of the guilt over getting a B+ rather than an A. That said, at least she didn't home-school me so I could do nothing but practice the violin my whole childhood...I know plenty of people who had it worse. Yeah, they're successful musicians, but I sure don't enjoy hanging out with them! I hope I can do a better job of encouraging my children without crushing their spirits...but it's like my mom said, you try so hard not to make the mistakes your parents made, and you end up making totally new ones all your own. All I know is that the difference between my home growing up and my kids home has to be this...you are free to be an individual...follow some guidelines but there is room to be yourself...and feelings ARE OK.
Man I can go on! Sorry! I have to hop in the shower...DH and I are going to the bank. Now that I've changed my name (and I have decided to hyphenate professionally...that makes me feel better)...we're going to get a joint account. NOW I feel married.
Have a great day! Julia
PS One of these days I'll figure out how to put some pics in my siggy!