Pregnant with #1 in our 30s - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 453 Old 03-14-2007, 02:00 PM
 
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I like your username Michelle, very appropriate now that you're pregnant too!
Thanks!



Fiber is good all around I guess!

Babybel 8/5/08. Growing her sister: ***4***8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36**40*
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#62 of 453 Old 03-14-2007, 02:15 PM
 
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hi kids! thought I'd bump on and say hi to the other "old fart" mommies. There are days where I say, ahhhhh, this is what I was waiting for. Good thing I did!
Say, does anyone remember in the 80s when jeans and pants stayed up all day and there was no tugging or loosening or whatnot? Why are "mom-jeans" so bad? The worst thing we had to worry about was camel toes. I can't wait until the fashion world gets their act together and brings them back. How many years do we have to put up with pants falling down? And looking at everyone's "muffin tops"? Or am I just old and frustrated with maternity wear that doesn't pan out?

Thank goodness for yoga pants. yeah.
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#63 of 453 Old 03-14-2007, 03:18 PM
 
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Just wanted to say welcome to all the new faces in here!
The more the merrier.

I should be doing the bump shots too as I liked watching my friends pregnancy month by month but yet I haven't taken ONE photo and am already 4 months in. I have no idea why.

Maybe it's psychological b/c I tend to be a tall athletic person and seeing my body morph and basically get "fat" (well it's pregnant but it still looks fat) makes it really interesting to look at these days. I can just imagine what I am going to be feeling in the sweltering August heat at 9 months. OMG!!! Lol
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#64 of 453 Old 03-14-2007, 04:24 PM
 
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Nikki, glad to have you over here! You too, Laura!

Nikki, I'm having the same issue with maternity tops. Some of my more fitted button down work shirts are too tight now, but the maternity tops I have are still too huge. Maybe I'll pick up a few shirts in a size larger than I usually wear. And thanks for that cold remedy info! I slept a bunch yesterday and feel a touch better today.

Christy, I haven't taken my temp since I stopped charting but the heat has been crazy in my office the last two days (maintenance can't figure out that you don't NEED the heat on when it's 70 degrees outside) and I've been positively boiling!! I've been going to take breaks in a back unheated stairwell to cool off!

Thanks for the get well wishes, Jenn. I hope your m/s eases up soon!

amberbella, so glad to hear you're feeling good! You have such a cute baby bump!

My belly pix are in the link in my signature, too. It's starting to become noticeable to people who know me!

Lana, I love your editorial on jeans! I'm so sick of muffin tops too!
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#65 of 453 Old 03-14-2007, 11:49 PM
 
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Becky, your 11w ultrasound pic is so adorable!!! I'm jealous...my baby just comes out looking like a blob.

Wife to Rich~ 8/16/03 Mom to Nathan~ 9/30/07
 
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#66 of 453 Old 03-15-2007, 10:33 AM
 
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Aw, thanks amberbella. It's hard to believe that little baby is living in my belly! Did you have an NT scan? Some babies are just positioned weird and it's hard to get a good picture.
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#67 of 453 Old 03-15-2007, 09:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Amberbella your bump is adorable!

I scored some info on bras for those who are interested, stolen from another TTC/preggo board. Apparently Nordstrom carries nursing bras "in the back" of the lingerie section in all sizes, even really large cups with smaller band sizes. You may have to ask for them. They can measure you too. Motherhood also carries nursing bras in larger sizes. Now that I'm writing this I realize that maybe you don't want a nursing bra quite yet but maybe it'll come in handy in the near future.

OMG the exhaustion is here!

Dee, mommy to Miss M 11/07 and little Miss I 5/10/10!
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#68 of 453 Old 03-15-2007, 10:37 PM
 
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Oh ya, the bra thing!

I am very happy with the service I got from the ladies at Breakout Bras. They are the only place I found in the U.S. that sold my bizarre-o small-band-big-cup size!

Their Web site isn't the most professional thing ... but they are. I must have exchanged 6 or 8 personal e-mails with them regarding my size and what bra to get. And many of their bras (all of them?) come with free shipping. Woo!
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#69 of 453 Old 03-16-2007, 09:04 AM
 
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ATD Mom- thanks for the bra site! Just browsed it a bit and looks good. Better than some of the others I've seen.
Bras are going to be tricky with me I think, b/c I started off big. Then again, I've last this long with the bras I've had but I think it's time to get some new ones. I just hate how expensive they are!

amberbella- your photos are adorable! As are ATD's and many others.
I really want to take photos of myself but it just looks like I'm getting fatter. I'm shaped like an apple with skinny arms and legs. I hope that at some point soon my tummy with get tighter and I'll look pregnant instead of like I drank too much beer this winter and let myself go

Becky- glad you are feeling better!

SAHM and loving it with DH, DS (8/4/2007) and DS (10/10/2010)
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#70 of 453 Old 03-16-2007, 09:47 AM
 
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Regarding bras, I've heard great things about the Medela Comfort Bra. It's a nursing bra, but just look at it! It looks SO comfy! Especially if you're at that tender phase (thankfully I'm in between tender phases right now). The rest of their bras look great, too.

Dee, I had the exhaustion too! It would hit around 7pm each night, and I could push myself to about 9pm before I had to go to bed. It went away around 10 and a half weeks for me.
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#71 of 453 Old 03-16-2007, 06:17 PM
 
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So I got a nice slap of reality today from my MIL.

Let me preclude this post by stating that I am European. And in my family & culture it is the norm to basically have grandparents help to raise the grandkids as soon as they are born or when the parents go back to work. My mom has already said "When do you need me by?" but sadly with my mom b/c she lives 3 hours away, would have to move in with us. So that's not a solution b/c my husband doesn't want her living with us.

So my husband asked my MIL today about how she would feel about taking care of the baby once they are born because initially she had totally hinted that she wanted to help out.

Not only did she say a very poor response of "Well if you guys were in a pinch we would help..." (implying that only in emergencies she would) but then proceeded to tell him how great daycares were for helping kids to learn to socialize etc etc. Can you be more passive aggressive in saying "No thanks"?

So basically she won't be taking care of her grandchild and now we have to start looking for and saving for daycare.

I will admit this, because I know I technically have no right to be this upset b/c it's not her responsibility or obligation to raise my child, but I started to cry when I heard that from him. I know for a fact that she dropped off my husband and his brother when they were kids to her parents house where his grandparents raised him. And she's retired and complains that she's bored.

To me it just felt so insulting b/c that's not how I was raised. Family helps each other out. So this is like my child grandmother saying "Well we can see the baby but you know..."

I've spent like an hour calming myself down. I do realize that I am being unreasonable b/c I shouldn't have hoped or relied that she would help us out this much. And it was my mistake to think she'd want to.

How much is daycare again?
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#72 of 453 Old 03-16-2007, 06:24 PM
 
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Can I join too? I followed Michelle over from the TTC in our 30's thread...I got a BFP yesterday (two days after her I believe). I was only on that thread for a few days! Whee!

I've posted on a few others but for those who don't know me yet...my name is Julia (Grace is my middle name), I'm 36 and just got married to hubby Paul last October 28th...he's 38. I'm only 4 weeks from the date of my last period so I guess that means I'm four weeks along...don't really understand that but whatever! My first OB appt. is in 4 more weeks.

Right now I'm just doing everything I can to stay positive and not worry about miscarrying! I've never had one but you hear about them often and it's kind of scary.

Anyhow, it's really nice to be here. According to the due date calculator I found, my EDD will be Nov. 23. A Thanksgiving baby!
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#73 of 453 Old 03-16-2007, 07:09 PM
 
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Alex, I kinda know what you mean. I think it's a great culture and tradition to have grandparents help to raise their grandchildren. It absolutely breaks my heart that my parents live an 8-hour drive away and still need to work, although when it comes to my in-laws, it might be a blessing that they both work a gazillion hours every week and couldn't really offer much besides an occasional weekend afternoon here and there. That's reallly sad that your in-laws aren't excited right now and don't want to help. Maybe that will change after the little one gets here? Maybe they will just take one look at their grandchild and realize that they really need to be involved?

Hi Julia!
Yes, pregnancy dating is weird. They count from the date of your last period, not from when you conceived. Sending you lots of sticky vibes! The first 6-7 weeks are the most nerve-wracking, I think, at least for me -- that's the point that I had my first u/s and saw the heartbeat. Lots of horseshoe magnet babies for you!
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#74 of 453 Old 03-16-2007, 07:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh Alex I'm sorry you're in such a bind. Maybe your hubby will think again about having your mom live with you, even for a short time? I'm not big on the idea of my mom living with us but she will for about a month after the baby is born b/c I'll need the help. If your mom doesn't work, maybe she could move closer to you? I'm sure there's a decent solution here, but I totally understand being upset that your arrangements aren't working out. It sucks that she hinted that she'd want to take care of the baby and then changed her mind.

Welcome Grace/Julia! Glad to have you over here!

Dee, mommy to Miss M 11/07 and little Miss I 5/10/10!
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#75 of 453 Old 03-16-2007, 07:29 PM
 
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I wish my family was close enough that I could consider having them help with the baby! I'm hoping your MIL will reconsider Alex.

Welcome Grace!

Yeah, I'm still at the stage where I finally realize I'm pregnant, but I'm worried about the M/C rates. I know they're high this early, and I don't know what's worse, worrying a little, or not worrying at all then having something happen and being crushed. It's a hard one.

For now, I'll take it one day at a time!

I told a co-worker who is a close friend today, that was fun!

*******sticky babies for all of us!***************

Babybel 8/5/08. Growing her sister: ***4***8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36**40*
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#76 of 453 Old 03-16-2007, 09:37 PM
 
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Alex! That really is the big suck about your MIL!

I know how it is to grow up with certain realities just being a given in your family, and never even thinking once there is another option. Until you marry into a whole new world.

Also there's that added factor of it not being your mom...

When I told my mother we were PG, she jumped up and squealed, running around the room waving her hands, screaming, "Little cute blonde curly-haired babies!" My dad and stepmom cried and hugged us and just didn't know what to say, and asked a million questions, and were so happy.

When we told my MIL,FIL,SIL at dinner: MIL said, "That's nice. I'm happy for you. I'm glad you didn't wait until you were 40." and changed the subject.

What is it exactly that makes the mother's daughter's baby more special than the mother's son's baby?
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#77 of 453 Old 03-16-2007, 10:57 PM
 
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Ok I'm shamelessly lurking in this thread and I so don't belong here (yet!) but I had to come clean and post to say ADT_Mom what a laugh I got out of your dog in your carrier!
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#78 of 453 Old 03-17-2007, 11:42 AM
 
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What is it exactly that makes the mother's daughter's baby more special than the mother's son's baby?

My Mom said to me recently that your sons are your babies until they get married, and your daughters are your babies forever. (she has 2 of each) I think that often times boys grow up and aren't quite as close to their mothers as daughters often stay to their mothers. Perhaps it has something to do with that?

We expereienced sort of the same thing here. Granted my Mom lives 4 hrs away and MIL lives 3,000 miles away...but there was definately a more subdued response from MIL.

Wife to Rich~ 8/16/03 Mom to Nathan~ 9/30/07
 
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#79 of 453 Old 03-17-2007, 12:34 PM
 
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Hi ladies! I didn't post on the TTC in our 30s thread but I lurked. I'd love to join this thread. Congrats to all who just got your BFPs, and to all you who are starting to show and feel better!

Going to quickly weigh in on the "maternity leave" and child care. I plan to have "maternity leave" in that I won't teach in the fall. (How can I? I'm due in September!) Thus, I'm on leave by default. I have no contract with the university (advanced grad student, hired by semester), so I guess I'm funding my "leave" with student loans. Oh well, right? I hope I can pull off a fellowship in the spring, and thus go for the whole first year without working. If not... I hope that DH (also a grad student) has an opposite schedule and can watch the kid in the spring while I'm teaching.

I'm excited by all the other PhDs on this thread.

Lana, ha on the "muffin tops!" This is exactly why I love my "belly bands" (got them from Isabella Oliver). They are more supportive than just a t-shirt would be, and they cover the tops of my pants even if those pants are riding really low (like, because I unbuttoned them). I may keep wearing them even when I'm not preg.

Greengrey, I'm sorry your mil is being a pill, but I too wonder if maybe as the months progress she'll come around and want to be involved. On the other hand, ATD_Mom, I love your mom's reaction!

Okay, and am I the only one who, now that I'm pregant, absolutely despises wearing a bra? I've always had a petite cupsize, for one thing. I'd say my boobs are more, hm, enthusiastic now, reaching out toward the world. But they hate to be locked up!
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#80 of 453 Old 03-17-2007, 12:55 PM
 
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Welcome minnow!

Funny, because my MIL seems more excited about this than my mom....maybe because my mom already has 3 grandkids, and this will be the first for MIL? Or maybe because DH is still pretty close to her?

Either way, they're all excited!

Babybel 8/5/08. Growing her sister: ***4***8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36**40*
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#81 of 453 Old 03-17-2007, 05:42 PM
 
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ATD_mom, what an annoying comment from you MIL!! UGH! I'm glad you have a sweet, supportive mom to make up for it!

amberbella, I think I agree with you on the sons vs. daughters thing. I also think it's one thing to watch your son's wife go through a pregnancy and entirely different to watch your daughter go through one. In my family, so far only my brother has had kids, I'm the first daughter to be pregnant, and I feel like it's really significant to my mom.

minnow! I remember you! Interesting "maternity leave" situation you have -- I hope you can take the whole school year off!
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#82 of 453 Old 03-17-2007, 07:31 PM
 
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minnow...ROFL I hate bras! And it's bad because I'm a C cup(on a small day!) I have taken to wearing shelf bra camisoles instead of bras (which isn't really enough support but I don't care anymore), and I always do surgery to my underwire bras and remove the wire...my osteopath tells me they hurt my ribs and it's adding to my back pain. Not looking forward to that part of being preggers...

Maternity leave...I will be due a week after our fall opera season ends, if the due date is correct (and, of course, all goes well) so this baby is timed perfectly! This was exactly the month I wanted to get pregnant! This way I have 7 to 8 weeks off that I'd' have anyway...I'm a musician and we work 30 weeks out of the year. We get paid when we work, and paid well, but it gets a little thin by the time our vacations our over...it's perfect that my maternity leave happens when I wouldn't be working anyhow... I won't miss any of the big money-making times. Well, actually, I may not play the Nutcracker this year, but it's only one week, and also I'm a little tired of it! We do it every year!

This is, of course, if all goes according to plan (although what ever does), and I'm not high-risk, etc. Having never been pregnant maybe I'm cocky in assuming I'm really going to work that late into my pregnancy...some of my coworkers that have had babies took the last month off because although we're just sitting playing the violin, those long hours can be hard on the back. And it's not like you can take a voluntary pee break in the middle of a performance. (Well actually we made an exception for one girl last year, during a 3 hour opera with no intermission, we sat her in the back by the door LOL)

How about everyone else?
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#83 of 453 Old 03-18-2007, 09:45 AM
 
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What is it exactly that makes the mother's daughter's baby more special than the mother's son's baby?
OMG I wish I knew but I can't tell you how many of my friends warned me about this. They said even if you think you don't need your mom, there will be a world of difference to how your mom will treat you and what she will do for you vs your MIL. Obviously this is not the case for everyone. But literally up until the point of the baby announcement, my mom and me had been fighting for 6 months. Overnight it stopped and now it's like better than ever. And it's wierd b/c normally I adore my MIL. She's been the perfect MIL. Both of us have a great relationship with her.

Quote:
My Mom said to me recently that your sons are your babies until they get married, and your daughters are your babies forever. (she has 2 of each) I think that often times boys grow up and aren't quite as close to their mothers as daughters often stay to their mothers. Perhaps it has something to do with that?
This is a very interesting concept. I wonder if maybe the MIL's feel like they can't be as involved or as honest as your own mother would for fear of offending or doing something wrong or crossing some boundary? Maybe motherhood or grandmother hood changes something?? Anyone have any other ideas?

I am however done my dramatic little hormonally imbalanced hissy fit and realized I needed to calm the hell down and accept that I was being irrational. She has a right to her retirement and to do whatever she wants with her time and I shouldn't expect her to do anything that is our responsibility to begin with. My mom however did not have the same reaction to MIL's decided future actions. If you thought I was bad, oy! She's ready to disown her. But again this is totally a personal cultural difference so it's just not possible to level the playing field unless both sides came from the same background. It will be a fun day when they see each other at the hospital after we have the baby. Vicodin anyone?

As for work I *hope* I am able to go as long as I can so that I can spend more time with our baby after the baby is born but then that totally depends on what will happen to my body and health at the time.

Just curious, how are daycare costs in your areas?

I am not kidding when I say I started researching Toronto and it runs - you ready?....no are you really ready??...$1300-1400 a month. Per child. Over the age of 1 to 2 years. Thereafter the price "drops" to around 1000 a month for a 2 - 3 year old. So that's around $60-70 a day.

I swear I nearly fell of my chair.

In my wildest nightmares I couldn't have imagined that high of a cost. I mean how do parents with more than 1 child handle it? No wonder so many parents stay at home.

I may add the daycare isn't guaranteed. *IF* you pass the long wait lists, you can pay that. But you have sign up for it while you're pregnant for a chance to get in. In which case we are now looking into a home based daycare or a nanny. Or if in some perfect world the stars line up, my husband gets his old weekend job shifts back and we would only need someone every Friday.
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#84 of 453 Old 03-18-2007, 09:41 PM
 
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Hey everyone, just got back from being OOT for 5 days at a conference. I totally have conference brain and am not quite up to posting personals/ commenting, but I did want to pop my head in. I love seeing this thread taking off! Welcome to all of the new preggos!!! Woohoo!
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#85 of 453 Old 03-19-2007, 07:36 PM
 
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Hi Everyone!

Alex~ Good luck with the MIL issue. I suspect that I may be fending mine off on a regular basis. And my mom lives so far away that she is going to be always frustrated that she can't see her grand kid more often.

Well I have had some crazy week. I thought I was over my M/S. Well it came back with a bit of a vengeance. :Puke I threw up all last week. Every night! Didn't matter whether I ate or had an empty stomach. And having the lovely experience of peeing my pants while wretching into the toilet. Very special indeed.
No M/S over the weekend...thank goodness....I am really hoping that it stays away. I'm thinking that work is aggravating it.

Also, I went and bought a small new maternity clothes wardrobe. Some of the clothes are pretty cute. Now I feel more comfy. I measured my waist. I've grown 8 inches! : Only several inches more to go.

Hope that you all are well.

Laura~ wife to my stuntman, Stig, mama to Gavin Rutgar reading.gif(4) and now Wyatt Andreas (1) and 2 little angel1.gif.

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#86 of 453 Old 03-19-2007, 09:10 PM
 
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grace24: I also planned the pregnancy around an easier time in my work schedule - school ends early may and I'm due early june. but I've got a big proposal due in may too so still hoping to be able to work much of the time until birth. we'll see.

great mw appointment today - baby is head down and doesn't seem remotely interested in moving!
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#87 of 453 Old 03-19-2007, 10:35 PM
 
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I also planned the pregnancy around an easier time in my work schedule - school ends early may and I'm due early june. but I've got a big proposal due in may too so still hoping to be able to work much of the time until birth. we'll see.
This is so funny...I am currently a postdoc and my babe is due Aug 30. I have a big grant proposal due Aug 05. No better way to pass the time waiting for funding decisions then bonding with the new babe, right?
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#88 of 453 Old 03-20-2007, 12:14 AM
 
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GreenGrey: TO sounds comparable to NYC with regard to infant day care availability and cost. I have found ONE place that charges $1,100 a a month, but most charge $1,800 to $2,300. American dollars. Ouch. We are hoping to have the babe in care only 3 days a week -- SOME places give a discount for that, others charge full freight to hold your slot. : The biggest concern is getting off the waitlist for anything -- I confess that I have not applied to nearly as many parents as I should have, because of ambivalence...
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#89 of 453 Old 03-20-2007, 10:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by PiePie View Post
GreenGrey: TO sounds comparable to NYC with regard to infant day care availability and cost. I have found ONE place that charges $1,100 a a month, but most charge $1,800 to $2,300. American dollars. Ouch. We are hoping to have the babe in care only 3 days a week -- SOME places give a discount for that, others charge full freight to hold your slot. : The biggest concern is getting off the waitlist for anything -- I confess that I have not applied to nearly as many parents as I should have, because of ambivalence...
LA is about the same, too...unless you are on public assistance...then it's DIRT cheap. Oh well....that is one of the main reasons I've decided to try and stay home. Working full time outside of the home will not have enough of a financial advantage.

Wife to Rich~ 8/16/03 Mom to Nathan~ 9/30/07
 
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#90 of 453 Old 03-20-2007, 01:32 PM
 
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Hmmm.

Honestly, I haven't looked into the cost of care.

It it was that much, it wouldn't be worth me working and having the babe in care....I'm hoping that I can do something like work from home 3 days a week and work around the babe the other 2 days (odd schedule etc...).

Sheesh. I guess I should start looking, huh?

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