Pregnant with #1 in our 30s - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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#181 of 453 Old 04-01-2007, 05:13 PM
 
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Speaking of slings - does anybody have a reccomendation for one? I know I want one, but I don't know what good brands/companies are.

there are very strong views, and reviews, in teh babywearing forum. i have decided that i would like an unpadded maya wrap. it changes size via d-ring to fit me (because i hope i will be smaller 6 months postpartum than i will be when babe is a newborn) and it is not bulky.
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#182 of 453 Old 04-01-2007, 09:28 PM
 
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Ok, so I am not 30, yet! But will be in June, so technically I am having my first in my 30s. So I think I qualify right?

I look forward to getting to know you all!

Mama to Kage (12/07) and Ember (6/09)
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#183 of 453 Old 04-02-2007, 10:03 AM
 
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Welcome Michelle! Of course 30 counts. Makes me feel a bit old at 36, but it counts! Although people always tell me I look much younger, fortunately for them. :

Just realized, no more ice cream. Keep forgetting that it causes some problems in the bathroom, KWIM? Don't know why I kept having it, I had a craving ONE night and it was still there, I don't really crave sweets these days. Was bored, couldn't sleep, oops. Oh well, it's gone now.

Have a pinched nerve or something in my neck which is making it hard to turn my head side to side...waiting for my massage person to call me back. Hope I can get in soon.

Nausea's catching up with me...this a.m. was yucky, but I'm not actually getting sick. It's weird to force yourself to put something IN your mouth when it feels like something wants to come OUT, but that's what helps, so oh well. My morning 1/3 caffeine coffee did NOT work for me today.

How's everyone?
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#184 of 453 Old 04-02-2007, 03:25 PM
 
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Just bumping us up.

It looks like I start a new job later this week!! I feel unready -- the house is a mess, and I need to sort out what court-appropriate clothes I can still fit into. Today was the first morning I couldn't zip/button jeans (usually pants fit but cut into me and leave lines, yk?), and I was HAPPY about it! Gotta go buy some Bella Bands -- DH even suggested them!

Had a little blowout with DH about unilateral decision-making with regard to baby names (all I can say is we better have one girl and one boy, because that is about all we can name) and nutrition (why does our child need everything he thought tasted good in his childhood??). But mostly we are doing better. he is being way more affectionate toward the babe and me, which helps. we took this little quiz in Fit Pregnancy by Gayle Peterson (whom I like..she is a therapist who wrote An Easier Childbirth re becoming emotionally ready for baby and for the changes it will bring) on whether your relationship is baby-ready. If you happen to have it lying around, I recommend. It's not earth-shattering, but it was affirming and realistic at the same time, and whose relationship couldn't use a little extra attention while pregnant with #1?

Emily, it looks like my baby brother is going to a PhD program in Atlanta, so maybe someday I will meet you in person!
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#185 of 453 Old 04-02-2007, 03:54 PM
 
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Emily, it looks like my baby brother is going to a PhD program in Atlanta, so maybe someday I will meet you in person!
That would be so awesome PiePie!
Where is your brother going and what will he be studying?

As for the house being a mess. All I can say is forgive yourself and do what you can. The days of the perfect house are long gone (I kissed my dreams goodbye when I married DH. Living with DH means living with all of his clutter). Good luck with your new job! I am so excited for you. I know the commute isn't going to be fun, but I do hope you enjoy working again.
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#186 of 453 Old 04-02-2007, 06:56 PM
 
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Piepie, good luck on your new job! That's exciting. Don't worry too much about cleaning...just pick up in the rooms you use the most so you can find stuff...sometimes just straightening up is a good start. Do you have a little extra money tucked aside to pay a cleaning service? Most services will do a one-time cleaning without having to sign up for a regular service. We have them come every two weeks because I'm a violinist professionally and I just can't physically clean this whole house without hurting my arms, but I know we're in a position financially where we can afford it and not everyone is. It's pricey... a hundred bucks a pop. But I just can't keep up with it... I was stunned at how filthy my apartment was when I moved out of there in December, before I moved into our new house. It made me sad that I'd been living that way...but the last time I scrubbed the tub I inflamed a tendon right before a concert and had to get a cortisone shot. Still when I saw the place empty, I wish I'd sprung for the maids. Don't know if you can afford it, but if you can just once, it might be worth it to feel like you have things a little more under control, til you have more energy.

I'll finish later, gotta go play!
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#187 of 453 Old 04-02-2007, 08:38 PM
 
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Nausea's catching up with me...this a.m. was yucky, but I'm not actually getting sick. It's weird to force yourself to put something IN your mouth when it feels like something wants to come OUT, but that's what helps, so oh well.
Amen, sister!
I am just barely pg (4 wks), but already, I find myself negotiating with the little bean about when and where I can afford to feel lousy. No one at work knows, so I'm trying not to be conspicuous, but s/he is not making it easy!

C.M.
In PDX with 2 pups and 1 sweetie pie
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#188 of 453 Old 04-03-2007, 10:17 AM
 
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...Bump...

PiePie - good luck with your new job. I hope you end up enjoying it. I also hope you are able to find lots of good clothing. I have a few friends who work in the Boston courts, and most of them wear flats these days, so I woudn't worry about the shoes too much. Also, thanks for the book recommendations. My midwife has Fit Pregnancy in her library, so the next time I'm there, I'll borrow it.

To all who are concerned about messy homes - I'm sure when we start "nesting" in a few months (or more for some of us), our homes will be spic and span. Until then, enjoy your pregnancy and if the clutter doesn't get picked up every night, try not to let it bother you. Just imagine it as practice for all those baby toys!
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#189 of 453 Old 04-03-2007, 10:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome VeganLove!

PiePie I'm so excited for you to start your new job! You must be incredibly nervous and dreading the commute but I think it'll be good to feel a little more like yourself (pre-pregnancy) again. Good luck with the clothes - I'm sure it'll be a challenge and an expense but hopefully it won't be too much of either. And I'll just echo what the others said about cleaning - don't worry about it now, you've got a lot going on and the cleaning will eventually get done. I'm starting to feel better now, plus I live far enough south that Spring is here already, so last weekend I got caught up on laundry and dishes and straightening. I think Grace mentioned straightening - it's amazing how much difference picking up a few things can make.

Minnow I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now when you need support. I second Emily's position on taking meds - it's non-negotiable. Maybe he can go to a different doc or switch meds if he's suspicious of the ones he has? I don't know if that will make a difference but maybe you could throw a bunch of ideas out to him & see if anything sticks.

I had a nice birthday and most of my (admittedly mild) symptoms are gone now. I'm feeling, um, ambivalent about being pregnant right now. It's probably tied to financial concerns. So I guess I'm feeling the same way DH was a couple weeks ago. I guess it's normal? Has anyone else felt the same way?

Dee, mommy to Miss M 11/07 and little Miss I 5/10/10!
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#190 of 453 Old 04-03-2007, 12:28 PM
 
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I'm feeling, um, ambivalent about being pregnant right now. It's probably tied to financial concerns. So I guess I'm feeling the same way DH was a couple weeks ago. I guess it's normal? Has anyone else felt the same way?
Nope, once again Dee I am hear to tell you that you are not alone. I go through periods where I think "Holy crap! What have I done?!" I also don't feel that "love" that alot of moms seem to be feeling. I certainly don't want anything to happen to the baby, but I don't "love" it. Like right now, I am super annoyed with being pregnant because my back is hurting and I feel like my ribs are digging into my spleen. It is uncomfortable and it irritates me that I can't just sit in any old position and be comfortable. I also get annoyed with the babe because s/he spends WAY too much time on the left side and the left side is where my schrunched up spleen is so I really don't want babies over there contributing to the crowding! I actually iced my belly last night to make the baby move over (I tried gravity first, but the baby is stubborn). At this point I am seriously wondering why women EVER agree to do this more than once. That being said, I am still excited about the arrival of the baby and I look forward to being a mom.
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#191 of 453 Old 04-04-2007, 02:29 PM
 
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It is uncomfortable and it irritates me that I can't just sit in any old position and be comfortable.
At this point I am seriously wondering why women EVER agree to do this more than once. That being said, I am still excited about the arrival of the baby and I look forward to being a mom.

i have those thoughts too!! i think the baby is kicking my bladder or something. it is very sensitive and i get the urgent need to pee in short spurts, like it is being kicked. can't imagine what i am going to do when i am standing up in court and this happens!!

yesterday i sneezed and peed my pants! that felt like a badge of honor -- i was a real pregnant lady, even though i just look fat.

today is my last day before starting work. i had good intentions of running various errands, but it's wet and cold outside.
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#192 of 453 Old 04-04-2007, 04:21 PM
 
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i have those thoughts too!! i think the baby is kicking my bladder or something. it is very sensitive and i get the urgent need to pee in short spurts, like it is being kicked. can't imagine what i am going to do when i am standing up in court and this happens!!

yesterday i sneezed and peed my pants! that felt like a badge of honor -- i was a real pregnant lady, even though i just look fat.

today is my last day before starting work. i had good intentions of running various errands, but it's wet and cold outside.
Oh PiePie, I've done the sneeze/peeing thing. It is so weird. It doesn't happen a lot, but when it does it is completely random. There have been a few times when I have JUST done to the bathroom (so the bladder is as empty as I can make it), yet I sneeze and magically there is still a little obit of pee? WTF?!

Good luck with your new job. You are going to be the bestest most awesomest lawyer they have ever seen

Also, thank you for saving me from being a thread killer. I was a little worried that my bitching my have been too over the top.
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#193 of 453 Old 04-04-2007, 04:58 PM
 
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Emily - I wouldn't worry about your post killing this thread. I think you voiced something that a lot of us are thinking. I haven't had the fortune of peeing myself yet, but I'm sure that will come with time (I'm only 13 weeks).

Piepie - I hope your first day of work goes well!

Dee - I know exactly how you feel! I felt ambivalent for awhile. Now I'm going through what DH calls a 'freak out' phase. It's starting to sink in that in 6 months, we have to be ready for a baby, and I don't know what I need/want for baby! Walking into the baby store only made it worse. Now I'm really overwhelmed!
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#194 of 453 Old 04-04-2007, 06:14 PM
 
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Man, I've been busy lately. I have GOT to quit my job just so I can keep up on all my message boards!

Dee, I also gained like, 6 pounds by my 12 week appt and that felt like a lot to me. It only went up by about a pound at my 16 week appt, so it slowed. I don't weigh myself at home, so I don't know what I'm up to now, but I've been ravenous lately. A lot of the weight gain is fluid -- increased blood volume especially. And don't forget your boobs!!

And I missed your birthday! Happy belated!! I know what you mean about feeling ambivalent, my feelings are also tied to money. It sucks I'll have to go back to work to make ends meet. I was hoping by my 30s I'd be independently wealthy!!!

PiePie, sorry you didn't get the job you wanted! I hope the new one works out great for you!

Welcome Michelle & C.M.!!

Re: messy homes... I have no good excuse for why my home is a pigsty. I'm just lazy! I keep wondering how we're going to fit a bunch of baby stuff in our apt with all this crap lying around!

I also sometimes pee when I sneeze!! It's a rite of passage, isn't it?
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#195 of 453 Old 04-04-2007, 06:17 PM
 
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I'm falling behind on everything these days including this thread which is my favorite of all!

Emily! I'm glad you mention your feelings. Me too. Today I was thinking that lately I feel like I have a parasite inside - eeeke sounds terrible to actually voice that! Anyway I guess I just don't feel 'motherly'. I'm excited about the baby too but maybe it's just too surreal for me still. I don't think I've felt our baby move yet... maybe then I'll start feeling more motherly.

When I was suffering from m/s I really felt betrayed by my body. Everything I took for granted suddenly just didn't work for me anymore. I still can't read in a moving vehicle even though my m/s has eased off (THANK GOODNESS!). Good luck to all you newly experiencing m/s... just remember it does go away... that thought helped me when nothing else did.

No pee/sneeze yet but I do visit the bathroom something like 4 times an hour... especially in the evenings. Mostly just a little bit comes out but then I FEEL like I need to pee again, ugh... hadn't really thought it was the baby kicking my bladder - more like the baby sitting right on my bladder!

Good luck with the new job PiePie! I recommend you rest and forget getting everything sorted before starting your job. Just rest and take care of yourself because soon you are going to be working and having a lot less time for that. Oh and good luck on the commute. Btw how long is it? I just started a temp job and I'm exhausted. Just woke up from a 3 hour nap to have dinner and now back to bed. Oh and the house, HA! I'm not even cooking anymore... everything has fallen to the wayside.

Minnow I feel for you. My ex-boyfriend was diagnosed bipolar while we were together. It was after a very hard period for him of depression after an outrageous manic spree so when he was diagnosed he was ready to be medicated and try a normal life. We were together for 6 years, most of them without either of us knowing there was something else going on. I mean I thought he was a bit off but I'm drawn to eccentric types, I just took it in stride. I recommend you get outside support for yourself. And I hope for your sake that your DH realizes medication is the way to a normal life. Sometimes that only comes after a really BAD point, I hope that isn't necessary for him or you.

What I like about coming here to MDC is that just when you think you are freak you read other women going through the same thing. It's just feels nice to be part of a community!
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#196 of 453 Old 04-04-2007, 08:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh Emily I'm so sorry I left you hanging! I really appreciate your honesty & it made me feel better to know (once again) that I'm not the only one with less than 100% glee about pregnancy, even after TTC. I was actually worried that I was bitching too much so I backed off a bit. :\ I hope your babe gives your spleen a rest - spleens are fragile, you know, so keep that baby away from it!

PiePie good luck with your new job tomorrow!

Jenn, Emily posted a great question about what expensive baby items MDCers recommend, so hopefully that'll help with your freak out. I'm starting to freak a little about not having a care provider yet but there are so many factors that I feel a little overwhelmed. I know what I want, I just don't know if I can afford it. Which I guess is true with all baby items, come to think of it!

Becky I guess we just have to eat when our bodies tell us to. We probably both just went through growth spurts. My appetite is thankfully returning to normal after two weeks of nonstop eating, so hopefully my weight will level out too. I'm sorry you have to go back to work after the baby's born. It sucks that we're not independently wealthy yet. Maybe after baby #2.

Natalia I'm glad you found a temp job & your m/s is getting better. You must be relieved about both despite your exhaustion! I definitely don't feel motherly yet either. I think - I hope - that birth and seeing your child awakens all the motherliness that we're afraid we don't have.

Dee, mommy to Miss M 11/07 and little Miss I 5/10/10!
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#197 of 453 Old 04-04-2007, 10:02 PM
 
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I got great news at my OB appt today (and some sad news). We're the proud parents to be of twins! The sad part is that it was triplets - my spotting was the loss of one baby. However, that's better for everybody (me and the babies especially). I'm a little sad but mostly amazed.

Mama to Aeden, : my little NICU grad and Conner and Liam () my precious twins. is due mid April!
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#198 of 453 Old 04-05-2007, 04:29 PM
 
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Christy! Congrats! Twins...wow! You must be so excited. I'm sorry to hear about the triplet loss, but twins is still pretty amazing! I hope you have a healthy twin pregnancy!
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#199 of 453 Old 04-05-2007, 06:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Christy I congratulated you in our DDC but here it is again

Congratulations!

Again, sorry about the triplet but yay for the wonders of clomid!

Did you suspect that you might be carrying more than one (for any reason other than clomid)? I'm so big and can totally feel my uterus already so I'm wondering if you had any extra symptoms for me to obsess over!

Dee, mommy to Miss M 11/07 and little Miss I 5/10/10!
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#200 of 453 Old 04-05-2007, 06:20 PM
 
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Congrats Christy! Take extra good care of yourself and your BABIES Do we get to see an ultrasound pic? Pretty please
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#201 of 453 Old 04-05-2007, 06:31 PM
 
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Dee - you know what? I have less symptoms than just about anybody right now. It's really wierd and I would have NEVER guessed there was more than one baby. After all, my hormone level must be through the roof (which explains why my RE wastelling me at my 21 day progesterone draw that she was pretty sure I was pregnant - my HCG must have been crazy high). I guess my body just tolerates the progesterone and HCG well?

Emily (and anybody else) - there's three pics here: http://flickr.com/photos/cmorley/

Mama to Aeden, : my little NICU grad and Conner and Liam () my precious twins. is due mid April!
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#202 of 453 Old 04-05-2007, 06:41 PM
 
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Emily (and anybody else) - there's three pics here: http://flickr.com/photos/cmorley/
Yay! Love the pictures. Seeing those little ones in there is just so cool. Thank you for sharing
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#203 of 453 Old 04-05-2007, 07:00 PM
 
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Wow ChristyM26! Twins! Congratulations! It's amazing to see the two babies on the u/s.

Take care!
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#204 of 453 Old 04-05-2007, 10:05 PM
 
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Christy, Congratulations on the twins! Are you in shock? I think I would have been. Then excited that I would never have to do this pregnancy thing again!

in me news, I started my first day of work. The commute is long, although I do enjoy reading my baby books. I refused to let myself read entire books about birthing or baby development before I got pregnant -- I felt I would jinx myself. Then I was so sick, and down about being sick, that I had no interest in reading them, which was weird. So I take getting into them as a very good indicator of my emotional state. I must have been insanely nervous this morning, because the puking returned -- 30 minutes straight. But it didn't last all day. I think that the difference was that DH was home (yes, it helps in that category if I start my day at 6:15 AM, instead of sleeping in : ) and he was able to calm me down a lot. He actually did yogic chants -- you've got to know him to believe me, but he isn't very crunchy in a New Age sense, although he is very politically progressive, so this was a whole new side of him. i would have laughed had I not been puking so hard. I think that one of my dynamics from before is that the vomiting felt so violent and out of my control that I freaked out that it would never end, and the freaking out made things worse. Just a word to the wise.
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#205 of 453 Old 04-05-2007, 10:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Christy it's awesome that you don't have 2x the m/s! You u/s pics are beautiful - I can't wait to have some of my own.

PiePie congrats on your first day at the new job. Sorry your nervousness and m/s teamed up to make you miserable. Good call on waking up early to get that out of the way. So how do you like the job?

Dee, mommy to Miss M 11/07 and little Miss I 5/10/10!
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#206 of 453 Old 04-06-2007, 05:31 PM
 
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Christy, wow!! Congrats on your twins! Sorry about the loss of the triplet, that's very sad. Love your u/s pics!!

PiePie, glad you're able to get some reading in during your commute. How is the actual job? Do you think you'll enjoy it?
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#207 of 453 Old 04-09-2007, 01:43 PM
 
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EEEK! TWINS!!! Oh my God how amazing! Congrats (I've always wanted twins so I am so envious).

How is everyone???!!!!

Has anyone gone crib shopping yet? Let me tell you, it's a world unto it's own out there. I wanted to get ours from IKEA b/c they have one that converts into a toddle bed. And of course they're sold out of the plain wooden one. Or it may be discontinued.

And Babies R' Us is a scary place to be on a Saturday let me just say...
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#208 of 453 Old 04-09-2007, 02:04 PM
 
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And Babies R' Us is a scary place to be on a Saturday let me just say...
ITA - I still can't handle more than about 15 minutes in there at a time. Kind of reminds me of being in a demolition derby with all the kids running around, crazy stroller/push cart drivers, etc. Lord help you if you venture to the car seat aisle. But at 32 weeks I can't procrastinate much longer and there are a few things that are just easier to get there than elsewhere. Have become a major ebay stalker too.
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#209 of 453 Old 04-09-2007, 02:59 PM
 
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Hi, everyone. Thanks for the good wishes. My DH is doing somewhat better. He's still cagey about his meds, but he has explicitly agreed to discuss the matter with his therapist this afternoon. I'm doing somewhat better... we may have found a new (rental) house to move into that's just gorgeous! That really cheers me up. (Though alas, months before we would move in.)

Christy, congrats on the twins! How exciting!

I was way over my morning sickness, FINALLY, at like just before week fourteen... but now, coming up on week sixteen, I'm puking again! Total bummer! Fortunately I don't feel as nauseous or bad as before, but I am one. tired. girl. ALL the time right now. I feel like I'm wearing a super gravity suit where all the air is much heavier for me than for other people. And kind of like I have to open my eyes through molasses. I can still talk (and type), but that's like delirium. DH says, if you talk so much you must not be that tired but no, I really, really am that tired.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PiePie View Post
[ I think that one of my dynamics from before is that the vomiting felt so violent and out of my control that I freaked out that it would never end, and the freaking out made things worse. Just a word to the wise.
Thanks for this; I think when I puked yesterday it wasn't that I felt so awful, it was more like, OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO BE PUKING FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS WITHOUT STOPPING. I guess you'd call that freaking.
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Okay, This is probably going to be long, but I need some advice.

My mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in late June. Since then, she has been undergoing numerous different chemotherapy treatments in an effort to shrink the tumor. Nothing had worked. The tumor is an aggressively growing tumor (now 9cm in diameter). Some doctors think it may be a Sarcoma instead of breast cancer, but the pathology reports are not conclusive. She recently tranfered her care into Boston, which I think was a great move. They are going to start her on radiation this week and in 6 weeks, she's scheduled to have the tumor removed. She's quite relieved about this, as the tumor is large enough to be putting her in considerable pain.

Now - the same day she's scheduled for surgery, I'm scheduled for my 20 week ultrasound. I really wanted to wait until birth to find out the sex of the baby, but my mom really really really wants to know. Normally, I would make her wait, but she's been through so much, I think it might be nice to let her know (plus, she's a fantastic knitter and loves to knit beautiful baby sweaters, and with an October baby, the sweaters will come in handy). I thought about asking the u/s tech to put the gender in an envelope, but I'm pretty sure my mom won't be able to keep that secret.

So, what would you do? I have 6 more weeks before I need to decide, and I'm sure I'll change my mind many times between now and then, but it would be kind of nice to send my mom either pink or blue flowers while she's recovering. On the other hand, I don't want to do something because my mom wants me too (I'm kinda stubborn like that). Of course, there's always the possibility that the baby will be shy that day anyway...

Thanks for your time!
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