Pregnant with #1 in our 30s - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 01:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think we have enough TTC #1 in our 30s graduates to start our own thread!

Emily was just saying that she missed the camaraderie of the TTC thread but wanted to keep the focus on TTC, which I totally agree with. So here's a place where we can catch up on each other's pregnancies, careers, morning sickness, etc. without feeling like we're imposing on the ol' TTC thread.

My big news for today is that I moved up the date of my first ultrasound by a week so it's exactly 2 weeks from today. Ooh right at this moment, 2 weeks from today, they'll be putting that weird jelly stuff on my tummy! I was averse to u/s but after 2 early losses and taking soy this cycle I want to 1) make sure there's something in there and 2) see if there's more than one!

How is everyone else doing these days?

Dee, mommy to Miss M 11/07 and little Miss I 5/10/10!
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#2 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 01:45 PM
 
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Yay for this thread. I miss you ladies so much. I am 15 weeks and totally starting to show. My co-workers mentioned yesterday that I was starting to look pregnant. Made me totally happy

ETA: I am so excited for your ultrasound Dee. I LOVED seeing Becky and Natalia's pictures.
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#3 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 01:50 PM
 
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Dee - first of all...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

I had no idea you were pregnant!!!

And thank you for starting this thread, I agree with Emily I miss the fun we had while TTC! Count me in.

And just a quick update on me, saw our baby at 12 weeks on the u/s and it was sooo emotional and beautiful. Now I remember it in a rosy fade... good luck with yours and lots of (baby in a horseshoe) for you!

I can't wait to see who else is preggos!
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#4 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 02:02 PM
 
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Congrats to all!

How fun! What a great idea! Thanks for alerting me of the new thread.

Natalia, what is your EDD? Depending on what dates you go by (BD, ovulation, the OB wheel), I'm somewhere between Sept. 9 and 14th. I just tell people "mid-September" when they ask.

My belly has actually gotten flatter in the last week - I'm secretly scared! I, too, used to have an aversion to u/s but now find I'm holding myself back from calling the doc to see if he'd do one. I don't know if I can wait 'til my first, which is scheduled for 5 weeks from now. I just want to know there's a heartbeat.

I know farmama is around here somewhere ...
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#5 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 02:31 PM
 
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Hey, great idea Dee! How are you feeling these days anyway? Good luck with your ultrasound in a few weeks!

I'm about 9.5 weeks along. Things seem to be going well. In 17 days, I have my next appointment and will get to listen to the heartbeat (either with a Doppler, or if my mifwife can't find the heartbeat, I'll go in for an ultrasound). I can't wait. Like Dee, I had two losses, so I'm still kind of nervous. I'm trying to remain positive though, I figure positive vibes can only help, right!
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#6 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 05:09 PM
 
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Thanks, Dee! What a great idea! I've missed catching up on you ladies!

Are you having an abdominal u/s? They usually do them vaginally at this stage. I had a transvag u/s at 7 weeks when we saw and heard the heartbeat.

I'm feeling great! Just starting to feel fat! Told some folks at work already, still need to tell more. It's a little nerve wracking sharing the news, but I feel relieved not having to hide it anymore -- plus it's getting harder to suck my tummy in, so people are going to start guessing soon anyhow!
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#7 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 05:41 PM
 
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Dee this thread is a great idea!

I haven't been posting much on MDC because something felt like it was missing. Things just weren't the same as the TTC thread and b/c I am high risk and well MDC isn't really into ultrasounds, hospitals, etc so I felt like a black sheep and a bit of an odd ball. This is a really welcome idea. Thanks!

I am glad to see everyone's doing great and moving along. I've so far had 2 ultrasounds and everything went great and heartbeat was great. I still can't get over the whole thing when you see your baby on screen. Mine was sucking their thumb the entire time. It was just unreal.

I have gotten used to my daily Fragmin injections and they're just like brushing my teeth at this point. Just something I have to do.

How is everyone in terms of maternity wear? OMG this has been my biggest dilemna (luckily in a way) because I can't find pants long enough to fit me. I've scrounged everything under the sun and for some reason Toronto is in short supply of longer inseam maternity pants. Good Ole' GAP is one of the only stores that has them but GAP.com doesn't ship to Canada, we can't buy anything and send it to our US relatives b/c I have a foreign credit card address AND they never have them in stock in their stores.

So ladies, have you been showing yet?
If so from how long on?
Has anyone been doing the rubber band through the button hole trick?

And cravings? What's going on with the first trimester insanity? Nausea etc??
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#8 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 06:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yay it's so good to hear from y'all!

Natalia & Becky your u/s pics are awesome! Becky I think I'm having an abdominal u/s because they told me my bladder had to be full. I don't think you need a full bladder for a vag u/s but I hope I'm wrong b/c they're much higher resolution, right? I'll be 7w6d so we should be able to see *something.* : I don't expect to hear the but I'll be super happy to see it.

Now I've seen belly shots from Natalia, Kristin & Becky no pics from anyone else. C'mon, I wanna see! Naked bellies are not required! :

Natalia thanks for the congrats and babies in horseshoes.

Alex good to hear from you! So glad the injections have become routine, what a relief! Sorry you're having a hard time with maternity wear. I'll admit I bought my first maternity items yesterday at JCPenney :. It was too good of a deal to pass up - cami tops with built in shelf bras and adjustable straps for $8, plus a 10% off coupon. I slept in one last nite and it was sooo comfy. I just checked and JCPenney has tall pants and ships to Canada.

Jenn I am *all about* positive vibes! I'm so jealous of everyone's u/s stories and can't wait til we have our own!

Dee, mommy to Miss M 11/07 and little Miss I 5/10/10!
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#9 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 06:12 PM
 
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ALEX!!!!!
Yay! I have missed you! I agree about something missing from MDC in the DDC (maybe they are just too big?)
At 15 weeks I am now officially out of the first trimester (TG). I did have pretty bad m/s from week 6-9 (7-10) but the worst part was the exhaustion. I was SO tired. I actually understood why women quit work once they got pg. Not because they hated their jobs but because they seriously wanted/needed to sleep 14 hours a day. I really just started shaking the tiredness aroung 12 weeks. I feel pretty "normal" right now other than not having any clothes that fit (except my underware). Maternity clothes have been a struggle for me too
1). because I am NOT a flowery/bow/happy clothes kind of girl (I like solid color, preferably dark and I like black)
2). because I HATE the freaking panel on most mat pants (I need my belt loops and pockets!)

I have not had as huge a problem with the length since I am 5'5" (pants are maybe a little too long, but that is how the kids are wearing them these days anyway, right?) but bras, OMG I cannot find a bra that fits me to save my life and I am DYING. I pre-preggo size was 32DD (not as obscene as it sounds, I swear) and that size was hard enough to find (very, very few 32s that are not A or B cups). So I moved up to 34DDs but the band size is still a tad big. Plus now the cups are starting to get too small again! DH love, love loves my "ballon" boobies but I am seriously going to die unless I get some proper support. I've been everywhere and haven't found anything yet. I am leary of online shopping, esp. bras but at this point it looks like I need to go online or try ace bandages (binding...how quaint). Argh. So while I DO get to cover my bottom half (I think not finding pants is probably worse than not being able to find a bra) the top half isn't doing too well.

As for cravings, nothing really right now. Between weeks 11-13 I REALLY wanted d'anjou pears, ice water, and milkshakes. Every once in awhile I think about french fries, but it hasn't been a craving per say. I DO have some serious aversions to BBQ anything (ribs, chicken, baked beans, all so SO gross) even though I used to love it and crave it before I got pregnant, string cheese (another staple before I got pregnant) and those stupid gummy candies (worms & whatever else; DH loves them).

What about the rest of you? Share your joys and struggles!
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#10 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 06:55 PM
 
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so glad you started this thread! i am 16 w, 2 d, going by O date, which I convinced my MW to do when the hospital tightened the post dates restrictions on the birthing center I am using. We toured it -- both the BC and the regular hospital part, in case I get "risked out." The hosp part felt YUCKY and it sort f made me mad, that there are so few choices with both the high-tech stuff in case of an emergency and the comfy vibe. This is the only hosp in Manhattan with a BC (although my MWs are looking into starting one...it probably won't be ready by August...) and there are no free-standing BCs. Most of the other tour takers were way far along (36w+) and knew like nothing. One guy asked what the heck the nurse meant by dilated! I was so glad that was not my DH. A day later, DH's reflections are that I am "a real outlier" for wanting teh BC. Which is weird because usually I feel lame on MDC for wanting the security of a medically excellent hosp right there! My reflection is : that I need to get and bring a copy of our marriage certificate to get DH on the baby's birth certificate because we don't have the same last name. Also, I am using the fact that the hosp part is not aesthetically pleasing (not saying this about all hosps, just this one...I know I could pick a prettier one, but then no BC...) to steel myself against asking for the epidural.

I think that the DDCs feel different because #1 in your 30's is a proxy for certain life choices, educational background, and even to some extent geography (how many of us are in/near major cities?), which is in no way follow from being due in the same month.

My stomach is flatter than it used to be, but it has varied...I used to have a bump that was very noticeable when I was nakey. I lost weight (severe morning sickness) from the rest of my waist, so I was like concave with a bump in the middle. Now I just look fatter. Some days I need my banded Old Navy maternity jeans, other days they fall down and I revert to stretchy khakis from pre-pregnancy, but then they leave those belly marks. I didn't realize how badly I needed bigger bras till I went shopping for them -- I highly recommend getting fitted by an expert -- I never would have guessed my band size would grow...

I still have bad m/s relapse days, and I still weigh less than pre-pregnancy, but I am starting to enjoy eating sometimes -- which is a huge change from the force-feeding misery. I crave bagels and challah, so I tease DH that our baby is Jewish! (DH is half-Jewish but does not self-identify that way.)

The u/s was fun. Way more so than I could have imagined. DH was in like a religious reverie. If you do the nuchal between 11 and 13 weeks, make sure to get your blood drawn then! They told me that that came later, and now I'm screwed because my quad screen has a higher risk of false positives when done this late, which would drive me either crazy or to an amnio, with its attendant risks of loss..
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#11 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 07:11 PM
 
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Dee, yeah, a full bladder would mean an abdominal u/s. But usually that early if they try them abdominally and don't get a good enough picture they'll just have you empty your bladder and do a transvag one anyway. Good luck!! I remember being SO anxious right before my 7 week u/s. I was just terrified that there would be nothing in there... and immediately as soon as she stuck that thing in there, my little kidney bean popped right up on the screen, all flickering! It was amazing.

The 11 week ultrasound (the ultrascreen, the one that looks for genetic issues like Downs and the trisomies) was awesome. Our kid was just bouncing around in there, and then fell asleep so the tech had to keep jabbing my belly with the u/s wand to wake him/her up. It was surreal.

As far as maternity clothes, I started wearing maternity jeans around 9-ish weeks, not because I had to but because I loved how comfortable they were. Seriously, they're like sweatpants! I love them! Now I kinda have to wear maternity pants... but I don't mind. My MIL went crazy and bought me an entire maternity wardobe already, and a friend loaned me some of her maternity duds that are a bit more my style than the MIL-inspired wardrobe, so I'm set. It's getting hard to find shirts and sweaters in my closet that aren't too tight, but I really don't want to get into maternity shirts just yet.

I haven't had any real cravings or aversions! For a few weeks in the first trimester I couldn't figure out what I wanted to eat and had oatmeal or cereal for dinner a few nights. Nothing too bad. I had a short-lived chocolate pudding phase, too. Mmmmm... chocolate pudding...

I also went to bed around 9pm from about weeks 6 to 10. Otherwise my energy levels were fine. No sickness, no nausea, no nothing. I really think I hit the maternity jackpot here!

Emily, I feel you on the massive boobie thing. Mine aren't nearly as huge as yours (go you!), but in the last two weeks they've decided to grow a bit on me and I'm having trouble finding a bra that's comfy. Plus, the roadmap-like veins are SOOO attractive! PiePie, I did read that your band size will grow because the ribs expand to allow the lung capacity to increase.

PiePie, I can't believe there is only one birthing center in all of NYC! How is that possible?? Wow! I'm using a birthing center that's attached to a hospital, but the BC has operating rooms in case of C-births, so you don't have to even set foot in the hospital. I'm going to ask at my 16-week appt when we can tour the BC, sign up for birthing classes and stuff like that.

Is anyone else freaking out about what to do after your maternity leave ends? I will need to work at least part time to make ends meet, but I'd like to keep my health insurance because it's better than my husband's (and much cheaper!), and I'm hoping to be able to work at least 20-25 hours a week (out of 35) from home. I hate the thought of having to check out daycare centers or babysitters this early, but I think that's what I'm supposed to be doing... *sigh* This stuff all happens so quickly!
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#12 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 08:30 PM
 
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Wow... I dunno if I can keep up with this thread, but I'll try. I don't have a lot of time during the day to be online. I'm also a good bit further behind most of you, I see since I'm only 4 weeks today. I feel like by the time I get to what y'all are doing now I won't have anybody to talk to. Hopefully somebody a little less far along will show up (and I won't feel so out of place).

Of course, I'm still adjusting to the concept that I actually am pregnant and it's not a joke or something.

Mama to Aeden, : my little NICU grad and Conner and Liam () my precious twins. is due mid April!
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#13 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 08:54 PM
 
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Excellent idea starting this thread! i'm officially HALFWAY!!!! (20 weeks today) glad to see you all here!

christy, it didn't feel real to me at all until i heard the heartbeat. in fact, it really didn't sink in until i felt the babe moving around (17 weeks, 5 days was the first time i was sure it was the babe). now i feel her every day. it's so amazing

so my giant mission for the next twenty weeks is to stop eating sugar. ugh. i love sugar. it's sooo yummy. i'm sooo addicted. but i have to stop sometime, so now is good. just finished my chocolate serving for the day, so i'm feeling optimistic...

i'm still wearing my 0-3 month maternity pants, but even they are getting a little snug. i spend most of my time (if i'm not going anywhere) in pajama pants or overalls (good for work, cause they're HUGE and i fit in them). Guess i need to get some clothes. i keep putting on shirts and they no longer cover the middle section. it's a weird feeling. and as for bras...don't get me started...

Busy mama of
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#14 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 09:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by beckyphry View Post
Emily, I feel you on the massive boobie thing. Mine aren't nearly as huge as yours (go you!), but in the last two weeks they've decided to grow a bit on me and I'm having trouble finding a bra that's comfy. Plus, the roadmap-like veins are SOOO attractive!
Yeah, porn star boobs with old lady veins. I've always thanked grandma for my boobs (my maternal grandmother isn't a big women, but she busty. Somehow my mother received fairly normal B size cups. Maybe it skips a generation?), now I guess I REALLY get to look like her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by beckyphry View Post
Is anyone else freaking out about what to do after your maternity leave ends? I will need to work at least part time to make ends meet, but I'd like to keep my health insurance because it's better than my husband's (and much cheaper!), and I'm hoping to be able to work at least 20-25 hours a week (out of 35) from home. I hate the thought of having to check out daycare centers or babysitters this early, but I think that's what I'm supposed to be doing... *sigh* This stuff all happens so quickly!
I AM freaking out. Totally. I go back and forth and back and forth between thinking, I wanna take 12 weeks, no I'll take 8 weeks, no I need WAY more time I don't want to leave my baby! I guess it is one of those things that I am not going to know the answer to until I am experiencing it. Since I have to set things up with humans resources before I take any mat. leave I will probably arrange for 12 weeks (since that is standard and what is covered under the FMLA) and adjust as needed (BTW, note to Dee, if you decide to take a postdoc anywhere try to look for positions that treat you like a real person with benefits rather than a glorified grad student who could die tomorrow and people would only freak out because their data wasn't being collected. They are tough to find, but WELL worth it. I am so excited to actually have rights!). DH and I haven't been checking out daycares either but apparently we really need to get a move on. I think I am still in denial.[/QUOTE]

Christy - Feel free to post here any time, even if it is infrequent. I think the thread is bustling right now because some of us haven't had a chance to chat in awhile and I know that I really missed everyone. Pregnancy didn't feel real to me until I was about 6 weeks and started with the morning sickness...even then it wasn't quite real (like maybe I was just coming down with the flu? a weird flu that went away when I ate? ) Around 8 weeks when only my "fat" jeans fit and I actually bought some maternity wear it started feeling more real. But as I said to Becky, there are still times when I think I am in denial about the realities of the pregnancy. When is your first OB appointment? I went in at 9/10 weeks and got to hear the heartbeat. THAT made it MUCH more real for both me and DH.
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#15 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 09:35 PM
 
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Phew!!! This thread is certainly active already!

I'm 10w4d today...That 12w mark is just around the corner. I'm so excited and starting to feel less scared.

I was so sick for weeks, but today I felt almost normal. I hope this is a continuing trend. I was starting to think that the nausea would never go away.

Wife to Rich~ 8/16/03 Mom to Nathan~ 9/30/07
 
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#16 of 453 Old 03-09-2007, 10:45 PM
 
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Christy, pregnancy takes a while to kick in psychologically. I swear sometimes I think I'm just getting fat. Seeing our baby on u/s was surreal because I just couldn't get over the fact that it was IN ME. And growing!! And had a beating heart!! Feel free to jump in anytime -- I'm sure we could help answer some questions for you! And Dee isn't much further ahead of you, so you're not alone.

Hi amberbella and farmama! So good to see you guys again! amber, glad you're feeling a little normal -- hopefully the m/s is on its way out!

farmama, how are you still in maternity clothes that small? Go you! Thanks for letting us know when you started feeling movements. Today I've been feeling some "stuff" but I can't tell if it's "something" or "gas" or "nothing"
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#17 of 453 Old 03-10-2007, 11:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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PiePie glad to hear your m/s has gotten better and you can crave and enjoy foods again! I'm starting to worry about my birthing options too - I have an interview with a homebirth mw next week but she doesn't have hospital privileges and my house is about 30 min from the nearest hospital anyway. I'm trying to weigh the scariness of the OB/c-sec route vs the scariness of the homebirth. I'm so proud of my DH for surprising me with his crunchiness - I mentioned hb to him and how it's kinda scary but he's all for it! Ideally I'd like a CNM at a birthing center but I haven't found that combo around here yet. I can't believe how few options you have in NYC! : Sorry your quad screen data came back skewed from getting it too late but thanks for the advice about having bloodwork done with the nuchal scan. I'm really conflicted about how much monitoring I want. Decisions, decisions...

Farmama it is so cool that you can feel your baby move. And you're 1/2 way! Wow!

Amberbella glad you're feeling better these days. Wouldn't it be awful to have m/s the whole 9 months? :

Christy I think I'm just barely starting to believe that I'm actually pregnant, so you totally have a 1st trimester buddy. Hopefully we'll have some more graduates coming over soon too! I agree w/ Emily that this thread is super active right now b/c we haven't talked to each other in so long & we're excited. Join us as much or as little as you like.

Becky and Emily I have no idea what I'm going to do regarding maternity leave and all that. I'm going to finish my research by August and take the fall semester to write. The babe is due in early Nov and I hope to graduate in mid-Dec, so I want to have the diss finished before the baby comes. That way I'll have about 6 weeks of "paid maternity leave" b/c I'll still have a research assistantship while I'm writing. After that... who knows? I don't really want a postdoc b/c I want to make $ if I'm going to work, but I did know that they vary vastly in how well they treat you. It's gonna be an interesting time.

I'm officially 6 weeks today! Waiting for m/s to hit and hoping it won't! : My mom said she didn't having m/s with either of her pregnancies and I'm hoping I can be as lucky as her and Becky! Already bloated and I swear my boobs are a size bigger. I'm going to Target to get some cheap sportsbras w/o underwire that I can wear under everything until I grow out of them too. I'll be trying the rubberband in the pants loop trick pretty soon too. Did any of you use belly bands? I don't understand how they're different from tube tops, except that they're 5x as expensive. Sheesh I know the baby is only as big as an apple seed right now but how is it making me so huge? PiePie & Kristin I think it's normal to look a little smaller at the beginning of the 2nd tri when the bloat goes away and the tummy is all baby.

Dee, mommy to Miss M 11/07 and little Miss I 5/10/10!
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#18 of 453 Old 03-10-2007, 12:44 PM
 
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MajorGrover, I've got a Bellaband and I used it once. Yesterday rather than use the bella band, I used the rubberband trick. I found it more comfortable. I had to fuss with the Bellaband all day. I prefered the rubberband and now am sorry I forked out the dough for the band. Oh well. OH, and I'll keep my fingers crossed that m/s doesn't kick in too hard.


Becky, I'm so worried about what to do after baby comes, too. I'm really hoping to stay home with baby, but we CAN"T afford for me not to work. So, I'm hoping to find some kind of at home work. It seems like it's hard to find something, but I've got to try. This might be my only child, and I don't want to miss a minute of my baby. If I can't find anything for home, I'll have to go back to work part time. But part time around here means no insurance...so We'll have to figure something out. It's really scary, the money thing. Another thing is that child care around here (I live in LA) seems to be crazy expensive unless you are on public assistance or something.


Farmama, How exciting to feel the baby move!!! I can't wait.

Wife to Rich~ 8/16/03 Mom to Nathan~ 9/30/07
 
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#19 of 453 Old 03-10-2007, 02:25 PM
 
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farmama, how are you still in maternity clothes that small?
Sheer laziness! i have to unbutton them when i sit down or they drive me crazy. i need to buy more pants, but i have to drive for an hour to get to a store that has maternity so i can try em on...

in retrospect, i'd say i was feeling random movement between 15 and 17 weeks, but couldn't identify it for certain. it was SO faint and mostly felt like muscle twitches. hard to say it's the baby when your thigh twitches and it's the same type of feeling!

as for the bella bands, i think they must be more comfortable for when our bellies are bigger--at this point i can't stand to have tight fitting clothes on my stomach.

i too am wondering about my work schedule after babe, but it's more about knowing what i can do. i'll be at the farm mostly (i can hire someone to do my markets) but i wonder how "laid up" i'll be...or will want to be!

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#20 of 453 Old 03-10-2007, 05:58 PM
 
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HI, everyone! and Congratulations! My time at TTC was short because I mostly lurked, but thanks for the welcome here.

I'm currently 11weeks 2days. I do believe in ultrasounds. I have had two transvaginal ones so far, which is a good thing because they detected that the sac was small, but on the 2nd u/s said that baby and sac were growing, now they will keep me updated with a 3rd u/s in a couple of more weeks.

I'm not into maternity clothes yet, I have had to buy more pants however, I just upped the size and made sure they had elastic waistbands (velour sweatpants, yum). I'm plus-sized and have some clothes that are already on the large roomy side. It's just my jeans I've been having trouble with. Once it gets warmer, I'll have lots of gauchos to wear that were bought on the larger side from last year. If I were in AZ, I'd already be wearing them.

I have not had any morning sickness, just lots of heartburn that too, has wained. I have to pop a couple of Tums everynow and then. I have no medical insurance and the state just rejected me for medicaid, so now I have to send in additional documentation to prove that I need insurance. What does a person have to do to get help? Honestly, I've been a foster parent for years and I know all those mothers did not have medical insurance, so why are they giving me such a hard time?
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#21 of 453 Old 03-10-2007, 06:46 PM
 
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Hi Shibaby! I'm sorry about your insurance issues. I thought that pregnancy would automatically make you eligible for Medicaid in any state. I hope it comes through for you!

I must admit, I'm also a pro-u/s person. I mean, I wouldn't get one every appt or anything, but I think a few during pregnancy are good for my emotional well being. Just knowing that everything looks the way it should look helps me to relax, and that's good for my baby!

A friend gave me some of her leftover pregnancy tea and YUM!! I love it! Is anyone drinking a pregnancy tea they like? Or RRL?
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#22 of 453 Old 03-10-2007, 07:06 PM
 
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MATERNITY LEAVE: I agonize over this too. In an ideal world I would like to be at home for the infant and toddler years. This will not be possible for several reason: 1. We just don't have the $. 2. My field punishes women who are out too long. 3. My DH is not supportive of SAHM'ing. Part of this derives from #1 and 2, but it's bigger than that -- his mom was a SAHM because she thought it was the right way to parent but really she thought she should be running a lab an at R1 university, and she was very resentful of her kids and depressed, and it was not good from DH's perspective. Not to mention that then she had severe problems with #2. I have transferred this anxiety into worrying over childcare slots. We are too late for most waiting lists already, and as a PP mentioned, there are very expensive places and slots for low-income kids and next to nothing in between, especially for infants. So my ambivalence has meant that I've done a lot of internet research but not enough phoning (lovely to find out that their site lies and they only take old kids), touring, applying, and interviewing. So what I want is 6 months. As my whole career path is very tenous right now, we'll see what happens IRL.
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#23 of 453 Old 03-11-2007, 10:40 AM
 
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Wow. I feel so badly for those of you who are in a position to have to return to work in the very early weeks of parenthood. An officemate of mine returned to work after her 6-wk leave, and I literally watched her have a complete breakdown. It really left a mark on me.

In Canada, you are expected to leave for one year. If someone returns before that time, their parenting is questioned. The government pays 55% of your previous pay while you're out, and some companies will fill in the other 45%. It is just a part of life here, has been since the early 70's. You see professional positions posted quite frequently for "a one-year maternity leave term."

I have a looong list of complaints about Canada, but for this point I am thankful. I wish all AP parents could move here.
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#24 of 453 Old 03-11-2007, 12:06 PM
 
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Emily - I missed you too!!!

PiePie - I totally think you're right about the DDC issue. This thread or rather the people in it, we're all doing something at similar points in our lives and have probably made similar decisions to get here (and yup I totally live in the city...). Seriously Dee, best idea ever!!

As for maternity leave, I'm with ATD_Mom and I am so sympathetic to the women in the US with this whole maternity leave issue. We get a year up here that you can take or split with your husband/partner. Like ATD_Mom said, you get paid 58% of your salary and your company can choose to top up the rest of your pay (mine only does for 2 weeks thereafter, some do for 3 months and if you're a government employee, you're high rollin' the entire year). You do however have to work at least 600 hours in order to gain the ability so to speak to take the maternity leave pay as you it's similar to Unemployment Insurance so it's definitely not "free" but still.

My husband and me have decided so far to split the leave either 6 months me, then 6 months him or 7/5 months etc. This is partly because he really wants to have the experience of staying at home with our baby and partly because I make more, so a salary cut for me would be more detrimental to house hold bills than if he took it. Hence the attempt to budget the months we split.


In terms of daycare we need to start having a conversation with both moms who are both not working. His mom is retired so she can help and my mom though she stays at home, lives 3 hours away, which really sucks because she's like ready to move in to help. But first we are going to try and get my husbands work shift switched. If he can go back to his full time 12 hour shifts on Fri-Sun, we would only need his mom's help one day a week. Which would be basically a dream come true. So we'll see.


Ladies talk to me about these Bella Bands...I've read so much about them but then I saw some at Motherhood Maternity and thought that they looked (in the package) like the top part of Control Top pantyhose. Are they made of nylon? Or can you get some that are made of say cotton and spandex, more like a tube top. I know I am going to have to invest in these even for down the line because I am a giant (5'11) and by the time month 8 or 9 rolls around I fear that most tank tops etc won't be long enough to go around my belly to my pants/skirts. Is the BB brand the best to get? Or are there other makes?


Clouds have lifted with my maternity clothing drama.
I got a pair of cargo/can be turned into capri pants from Thyme that were actually long enough and decided to suck it up and get another pair of Old Navy long ones. I had to go to a different Old Navy location where I know they tend to carry more Long ones and what do I do? Like a crazy woman take out 5 pairs of M Longs and compare the lengths, then take the longest pair out of them (Old Navy's quality control is tragic - you can try on 3 items in the same size and they will all fit differently). And I am going to do the usual step on the denim and pull it when it's wet post wash and hang dry to get another 2 inches out of the fabric. When is it capri season again??!!! :


Morning sickness is so not fun! Anyone get night sickness? That was my plague. I find that whenever I notice that my tummy has gotten bigger, that's the day I know I will be hugging the porcelain God. It seems that when they grow, that's when you start feeling sick. Could be my imagination though...

Wow. I cannot believe how much I missed talking to everyone here!!
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#25 of 453 Old 03-11-2007, 12:43 PM
 
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I wasn't really in your ttc cohort but you look like a fun group and I'm certainly pregnant in my 30s!

greengray: I have the mimi maternity belly bands which are spandex/nylon. I wore it almost every day until I got huge about a month ago, now I don't like the pressure (babe is sitting very low). I've heard that some moms just go buy cheap hanes or similar white tshirts in a size or two smaller, cut off the top, and use that...
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#26 of 453 Old 03-11-2007, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Rock Dr! Yay another science geek!

I am *SO* jealous of the Canadian maternity leave program! Alex it sounds like your having your mom & MIL help will be awesome. My mom & MIL live within 10 miles of eachother but I'm 500 miles away from them.

Shiba I'm sorry you're having a tough time with medicaid. I'm looking into that now too & it's totally confusing.

Thanks for the input on the belly bands. I'm not quite big enough yet (in the morning anyway ) but when the time comes I'll probably try the hanes t-shirt or tube top instead. I also saw this neat panel that has elastic on top & buttons into your pants to extend them. Wonder if that works - looks more engineered and durable than a band of fabric.

Happy Sunday everyone!

Dee, mommy to Miss M 11/07 and little Miss I 5/10/10!
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#27 of 453 Old 03-11-2007, 09:13 PM
 
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Welcome Rock Dr!

Dee, I also feel you on not having family nearby to help. My in-laws are 20 minutes away but they both work a ton of hours every week, plus I can't stand my MIL so the less time she spends with my kid the better.

My parents live an 8 hour car ride away. I'm so sad about that. Nothing has made me realize how much I need my mom more than getting pregnant. It kills me that my child won't grow up with them a few miles away like I did with my maternal grandparents. My brother and his wife and kids live 2 hours north of us, and my parents get out to see them quite frequently, and I've considered moving back to that area just to be near family. I don't know though, my husband isn't too hot on that idea. Ugh. Although if we lived in a less expensive area, like where my brother lives, I could probably be a SAHM.

*sigh* Growing up is HARD.
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#28 of 453 Old 03-12-2007, 03:28 AM
 
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Hi all

I may be a little slow, lost, certainly not up to speed, but what is TTC? I know, you are probably all laughing or thinking 'Who is this person??' but when I saw the title 'in our 30's' I presume this is a thread for 'slightly older mums to be' so I hoped I could join in. Am I right so far?

Not read all posts yet, but thought I would write a note, make sure I was up to speed and then go through everyones messages.

I am fairly new to the forum (hence not knowing a thing that is going on!), I am about 9 weeks, started spotting about last Wednesday and still going (not red just brown so keeping a close eye), not been to the docs yet ( I live in BG, so got to find a baby doc next week), I have hardly any symptoms of pregnancy now ( Am I really pregnant.....well 2 tests said yes ), dizziness about 2 weeks ago, sore boobs which have now stopped, no sickness. I have to say I want a symptom, it actually worries me that I have nothing!

Ok, I will stop waffling now and get reading everyones messages.

Charlie
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#29 of 453 Old 03-12-2007, 06:01 AM
 
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Hey everyone! I'm 31, and someone said to me the other day how interesting it was that I was choosing to have a baby 'later in life'. I don't think I'm late at all! In fact, I couldn't imagine not spending my 20's schooling and travelling and well... being a 20 something slacker.
Yay for us OLD mamas...
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#30 of 453 Old 03-12-2007, 09:45 AM
 
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Hello and welcome!

Charlie, TTC means "trying to conceive." There's a monthly thread over on the TTC board for folks who are trying to conceive #1 in their 30s. Some folks really got to know each other on that thread, and were missing the camaraderie of those same ladies (ahem, mamas) over here on the pregnancy board.

That's where this thread started, but now it has lots of other first-time mamas in their 30s, too. Which is great!
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