Here are some links about pushing:
Pushing For First-Time Moms, Gloria Lemay
Pushing Positions, from ICAN
Pushing from The Midwife Archives (a collection of posts from a midwifery forum. generally very good information.)
Oops, I have more but I've got to go change a diaper.
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
However, ALSO contributing to the length of my first pushing stage (around 1.5 hrs. w/dd) was that the MW"s had me on my left side for BP. Okay, now I know this is textbook BP stuff, but can you even imagine pooping on your side? For god's sake! : Anyway, w/ds it took like maybe 5 minutes. ( I was on my knees in the bathtub)
I guess self-knowledge was more helpful to me than anything....and taking responsibility for listening to the true expert..my own body. I guess it just ALL comes into play. With the first one, you just kind of have to go w/it as there is really NO way to comprehend what birthing is until you do it. After I had one "under my belt" (forgive the pun!), I had more to build off of.
I was told to push at 10 cm and did so even though I felt no urge. I pushed for 4 hours, mostly on my back, sometimes trying to squat with the ineffective squatting bar they had installed on the bed. I vomited a lot, probably because of the IV abx and nutrients I was getting. This all ended in a forceps delivery.
Next time, I plan on not pushing at all unless I feel like it. Some moms never push at all and still the baby gets born, often in a very short time. Women have given birth in their sleep before! The baby will come out. No labor never ended.
It sounds simple: push when you want to. Don't push when you don't want to. If your body doesn't give you the urge, it's probably because it's not what you need to be doing now. I think if I had listened to my body instead of other people, it would have been a lot easier on me.
when i say that i didn't push, i just mean that i couldn't NOT push. i was not in control.
it was great!