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#1 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 04:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, I probably wont end up doing this-but I have cold feet about another birth center birth. I watch the births with an epidural on TV and think "Wow, that would be so nice..." And having someone to wait on me for 2 days in the hospital....sigh....

I had one really hard birth at a BC because I think I was fighting the birth....my second was absolutley beautiful but driving home afterwards was a nightmare because we were falling asleep at 2 AM. You just dont stay at the BC and sleep. You go home to sleep. I have pitched the idea of a homebirth to hubby but he still has fears about something going wrong. (There is a university hospital near our BC which is about 45 minutes away.)

Talk some sense into me. I cant go to the hospital knowing all about what goes on at a hospital-can I?

Jenny
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#2 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 04:42 PM
 
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I'm surprised your birth center doesn't have you stay and sleep for awhile before going home.

There's really no difference in safety between home and birth center, so once your dh realizes that he should be more comfortable.

I got cold feet with my third baby (after a wonderful home birth) and planned a hospital birth for awhile. At 36 weeks I decided that I really wanted a home birth instead (I resolved some of the issues that were causing me to think the hospital might be better). At 36.5 weeks I met with my mw. At 37 weeks I gave birth.

I would explore, in depth, why you think the hospital might be better. I had a great session with a hypnotherapist that helped me sort things out.

Best wishes!

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#3 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 04:48 PM
 
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I have the same thoughts throughout all of my pregnancies. I had my first 2 in a free-standing BC and my last at home and I'm expecting again. Sometimes I have fantasies about having a hospital birth...everything is nice and clean and someone brings me food and whatever I want for a couple of days, I can just lie around and watch TV and gasp! possibly even get some rest if I send the baby out every once in a while. Then, reality hits me and I realize that I'm not one of those people who can do it "their" way, that I know what I want at this point during labor and delivery and I don't want to compromise, that I don't want strangers around me while laboring, and that I sure as hell wouldn't be able to send my baby out of my sight. So, I think for me the biggest thing I'm going to do differently this time is to treat it like I'm in the hospital...I'm staying in bed and having people bring my food to me for 2 days, minimum. I'm not having guests come over for a while and I'm just going to relax instead of trying to go about life as usual.
As far as spending the night...is there any possible way you can reserve the birthing room for a longer time?
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#4 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 04:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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its cause it hurts! LOL. Is that stupid? It looks like such a lazy pleasent drugged experience at the hospital....and in fact, my first baby I planned to go med free at a hospital but for me, its impossible for the drugs to be in front of my face and not take them. (In that state....LOL)

I know I feel safer at a bc or at home because I feel like hospitals are dirty and high intevention and they dont really "get it" in terms of birth. I am being selfish and wussy. :P
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#5 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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As far as spending the night...is there any possible way you can reserve the birthing room for a longer time?


They encourage you to recover at home because it is better for bonding. But I am going to talk about my exaustion with both births with my midwife this time and work something out.
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#6 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 04:54 PM
 
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Good luck sleeping in a hospital.

My first was a home birth transfer, and I didn't get any sleep in the hospital/

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

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#7 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 04:59 PM
 
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its cause it hurts! LOL. Is that stupid? It looks like such a lazy pleasent drugged experience at the hospital....and in fact, my first baby I planned to go med free at a hospital but for me, its impossible for the drugs to be in front of my face and not take them. (In that state....LOL)
No, it's not stupid. That's a valid reason to have a hospital birth. With my first baby I chose an epidural and was very glad that it took the pain away. The rest of the experience was really not something I'd ever care to do again. I did not get much rest (who can with post-partum nurses coming in an mashing my belly??).

I think you might look into hiring a post-partum doula.

Also, you might look into other ways of preparing for the birth sensations. I use hypnosis, which has allowed me to give birth comfortably without drugs. http://www.hypnobabies.com

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#8 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 05:14 PM
 
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Good luck sleeping in a hospital.

My first was a home birth transfer, and I didn't get any sleep in the hospital/
: I didn't sleep at all the night before (planned induction) and every time I tried to sleep after DD was born they wanted to ask me questions about how much pain I was in, had I peed, test the baby's hearing yadayadayada. Finally they were filling out some questionaire and I pretended to fall asleep so the nurse would just leave me alone. Then one came in the middle of the night to test DD's hearing which freaked me out because they took her out of the room. They kept trying to force me to let her sleep in the bassinett but I didn't want to...

Driving home tired is a bad thing but I didn't get any worthwhile sleep in the hospital.
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#9 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 05:16 PM
 
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They encourage you to recover at home because it is better for bonding. But I am going to talk about my exaustion with both births with my midwife this time and work something out.
I was going to suggest this. At my birth center you go home when you're ready. For most people that's 4-6 hours, but if you're exhausted, I think they want you to stay there until you can safely make it home.
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#10 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 05:41 PM
 
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"waiting on you for 2 days" - yeah right! Sure, they bring you food. They also bring blood pressure cuffs (or worse, the machine that squeezes your arm off) and stethoscopes. They bring questions and prods and tests and cameras and tell you when you are allowed to go to the bathroom or shower. The hospital is a terrible place to rest.

Also, do you have a child at home now? Going away to the hospital can be more traumatic for the older sibling.

If you choose to go to a hospital for an epidural, that's fine - I'm all for informed choice. But realize that the two days of staying in the hospital after are the worst part of the birth experience, not the best. (at least, they were for my home birth transfer.)
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#11 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 05:58 PM
 
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I am feeling kind of like you are. My first birth ended up being a non-emergent birth center transfer to a hospital. I was lucky enough to transfer to a great, really supportive hospital (its a co-op and I don't think our current insurance covers it). I was terrified of a hospital birth and I ended up having an unmedicated/super low intervention birth. Anyway, I really liked staying at the hospital afterwards and having someone else cook for me and just having the nurses there to help me. DS happened to be born about an hour before they served dinner and pasta never looked so good to me-granted I probably would have eaten cardboard I was so hungry Actually, the food was pretty good and I did get sleep in the hospital-the nurses left me alone at night or if I was napping.

So having that experience, this time I really thought hard about going back to the hospital. I still find myself second guessing it. But I know that the hospital I can go to this time is nothing like the one I went to before. I am thinking of rereading some of the books that really affirmed natural home birth for me-Ina May, etc. I also try to remind myself that with my first birth, nothing really came up that would have caused the discussion of interventions like induction, extensive fetal monitoring, etc. And I know at the hospital I would likely have to fight with them over vax, eye drops, vit K, etc. I am not guranteed my first birth again and do I want to be in a hospital situation where I would have to fight for what I want or would I rather be at home or at a birth center where my ideas are more in line with my care provider?

Like a pp suggested, I am thinking of looking into a postpartum doula this time. I'm also thinking of going to one of those places where they have complete meals boxed up for the freezer-Designed Dinners or something like that. Then dinner shoould be pretty easy.

And I would talk to your midwives about staying. I think the guidline at our birth center is no one leaves until everyone has been fed, slept and I think I have to pee

Lisa, mama to A (3/05) and R (11/07) and L (8/10)
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#12 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 07:38 PM
 
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I think your idea of talking to your BC about staying longer is a great idea. normally, BC's are about doing what is best for mom and baby....which for most, means going home right away....but if you really suffer from extreme exhaustion after birth, ask about being able to rest more.

Obviously, just staying home takes the travel out of the equation....you can rest as much as you want, in your own bed, with no worries about driving anywhere or doing anything for quite some time!!

As to the hospital.....if you want the epidural and have considered it carefully and made an informed decision that the risks are worth the benefit to you, then that is one thing. Obviously you cant have one at home or BC.
But, if you are going to the hospital for "rest" and "care".......have you EVER been to a hospital? Seriously, not being snarky? I've spent a LOT of my lifve in hospitals, and if you are under the impression you get rest and relaxation and pampering....umm..no. Hiring a PP doula would be a way more beneficial thing to do if that is your goal. Or making a strng network, if you can...get family, friends, church members to cook frozen meals for you to have on hand for after the birth....have dh take more time of if at all possible.....have someone come stay with you, friend or professional.

CPST
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#13 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 07:45 PM
 
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My midwife told me that she and her partner have everything available to them that a birth center does. There's nothing they can't do that a birth center can. They have the training, equipment, even meds. But the bonus is, you're at home where you're comfy and won't be leaving.

That might help your hubby.

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#14 of 16 Old 05-07-2007, 07:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jessitron View Post
"waiting on you for 2 days" - yeah right! Sure, they bring you food. They also bring blood pressure cuffs (or worse, the machine that squeezes your arm off) and stethoscopes. They bring questions and prods and tests and cameras and tell you when you are allowed to go to the bathroom or shower. The hospital is a terrible place to rest.
I completely agree.

And like my epidural in the hospital experience where they swore they wouldn't take the baby and LIED and stole him away so my husband stayed with him while he cried in a nursery.

I was put in a double room, completely convinced I was dying and no one knew (my BP crashed and I felt like I was literally leaving the world) and I couldn't verbalize anything. My legs wouldn't work yet from the epidural, I'd had no sleep for 24 hours, and this toddler in the other half of my room was screaming and throwing hard things that would make this HUGE echo in my head. I was in complete misery and will never forget the feeling of dying.

Sounds overly dramatic, but that's what it was in a nutshell.
So yah, I say, stay home!

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#15 of 16 Old 05-08-2007, 01:18 AM
 
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I was just watching an episode of House of Babies where they made beds for the family to sleep in after an all-night birth - even the sibling got a bed for the night! So I'd definitely talk to the MWs about staying longer if it's late and/or you're really tired.

I'm personally 100% in favor of home birth and agree it's easier than a BC. My first was in a hospital and UGH! We got NO sleep. My OB tried to encourage me to send the baby to the nursery so I could sleep, but how could I sleep? They were constantly coming to check on one or both of us - all that the PPs said. It was miserable. Yeah, it was nice to be able to call someone to change the pads or help me to the bathroom, but with my homebirth, I just had DH do all of that! (Okay, I never made him change any pads! )

HeatherB ~ mama to 3 wonderful boys:  reading.gif 03/02; modifiedartist.gif09/04; sleepytime.gif 09/07 - and Eliana, babygirl.gif 11/13/10!  
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#16 of 16 Old 05-08-2007, 01:39 AM
 
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I am just lurking here, but I can identify with your thoughts on the birth center. My first birth was at a BC. It was beautiful, intense, painful, long, etc. My son was born at 11:45pm. The midwife, who had been with us since morning, was exhausted and ready to go home to her own family. While she kindly offered to stay longer, we got up and went home at 2am. It was a little odd, and both of us didn't like driving home in the dark with a newborn and my body being out of whack as it was.

With my second birth, I chose to have it at a hospital for two reasons. 1) I had a miscarriage in between and wanted some more technical support (an early U/S to make sure that the same thing wasn't happening, and more blood tests, etc.) 2) I honestly wanted to stay for a couple of days and recover! We have no family in the area, and I felt afraid of being at home right away with the newborn, my toddler, and my husband having to work from home or go to work.

Of course, I had a great team of midwives at our hospital, and I was able to have a second Bradley-method birth just as I had hoped. The care of the mother at that hospital (me) was great. I ended up hemorrhaging, and they changed my pads (since I was too weak to stand or walk), they brought me fluids and food, they cared for me until the flood of bleeding stopped. They came in during the night and changed my daughter so that I didn't have to wake my husband. I got to relax in bed, get meals served, let my husband play with my son, etc.

However, I wasn't thrilled with how they treated my baby girl. They wanted to run all kinds of tests on her that I knew were unnecessary (and this was in a hospital rated in the top 10 of the nation for "baby-friendly" hospitals). Someone came in practically every 30 minutes to offer hearing tests, diabetes tests...all of them with clipboards and papers to sign. All of them insisted that it was VERY important, but having already had a BC birth, we knew that this was not necessary or kind to our child. It was annoying. Mommy care good - baby care bad (well, overbearing). That sums it up.

Although my midwife said I could stay another day in the hospital, we were out of there by noon the next day (24 hours). I'm glad that I didn't have to go anywhere for those 24 hours, though. I don't know if that helps, but I just wanted to share my journey in case it helps you find a solution for your birth situation. I honestly don't know what I will do for our third birth (if we have one) - I would like a home birth, but given how much I hemorrhaged, I think it would be wiser to go to a hospital and make sure that they know to leave the baby alone more than they did last time.

Mandi - Doula/Childbirth Educator, Loving my DH, DS, DD, DD, missing my three (last m/c 4/2010)
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