I'm newly pregnant - just over 2 weeks. Was wondering when do I share the news - with mom & dad, family, friends?
I know some people say to wait until 3 months but I'm just not sure I could do that with my parents and sisters.
When did you share the news?
One thought though: I lost my first pg at six or seven weeks. We hadn't told family and had told very few people. So when I started miscarrying we ended up telling a lot of people then just bc we needed a lot of support but I feel like I missed out on sharing a lot of the joy of my first pg bc we were being secretive about it. If something happens, it still affects your life. A lot (usually). You are probably going to end up sharing the bad news with friends/family, especially if there are medical complications or anything like that.
So we are telling people, right away. We haven't told my in-laws yet bc they will disapprove and I don't need the negativity, and I haven't told my grandma and aunts yet bc I'd rather tell them in person, but no, no secrets here.
I didn't share with everyone...then I miscarried at 11w. Then I was so upset, I had to tell everyone, since they knew something was wrong and bad.
Next time, I'm sharing the joy! Better than only sharing the sadness.
If something happens, it still affects your life. A lot (usually). You are probably going to end up sharing the bad news with friends/family, especially if there are medical complications or anything like that.
But we waited until after we'd seen/heard the heartbeat at 7 weeks to tell my in-laws, and most of our friends. I didn't tell at work until 14 weeks.
I've decided to share the news with my immediate family - I'm only 2 1/2 weeks along (actually reconfigured it and I'm 4 weeks) - not very far along at all. But you are all right, they will be the ones that I would want to lean on if something did go wrong.
I've taken two different HPTs (different brands) and they both came back positive REALLY FAST - within 15-20 seconds.
I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed right now...lots to process. Wasn't trying to get pregnant but wasn't not trying....also have a sister that is having major fertility issues and a best friend with fertility issues as well.
Trying to share personal good news while being sensitive to other folks' needs. So hard!
The miscarriage issue can go both ways. On the one hand, if you don't tell anybody and experience a m/c, you don't have to tell anybody about the m/c, and nobody ends up asking awkward "how's the baby?" types of questions. On the other hand, if you have a m/c, it might be nice to have people who knew about your pregnancy, who can support you.
Other than that, some thoughts:
- if you don't feel ready to share, don't share
- if you want to scream the news from the rooftops, go ahead!
- keep in mind that the sooner you tell people, the longer they have for the pregnancy to seem LONG. I've found that the longer you wait, the faster it makes the pregnancy go by for other people and you get fewer "OMG, haven't you had THAT BABY yet???" questions.
(That said, I usually spill the beans early, I stink at keeping a secret!)
My LMP was on April 16 but I have 35 day cycles.
Dating is strange!
mom to one glorious sweetpea born 10/18/2007.
I agree with telling people close to you who would support you through a M/C.
We told other people once the blood test confirmed it.
I believe pregnancy is a happy joyous thing not something to hide.
I believe in sharing happiness as well as grief.
When I lost my first pregnancy I was thankful that I didn't keep it a secret. I was absent from work and had people not have known I would have gotten "were you sick?" or "what was wrong with you" when I returned.
I also had people joking with me before "When are you going to get pregnant?" so had I not have said anything ... it would have been very horrible indeed if I suddenly burst into tears or ripped them apart for unknowingly being insensitive.
That didn't happen because they knew.
It is a personal choice whether or not to tell others straight away.
I just don't see why we should look at the pessimistic side saying "let's wait incase something bad happens".
But I think you should tell whenever it feels right. People are always very excited no matter when you do so.
Fiber- I wish you all the best in your journey!
Banana, doula wife to Papa Banana and mother to Banana One, Banana Two, Banana Three, Banana Four...
I told the people we would have told if we'd m/c. Then at about 13 weeks, I started telling others, but I still haven't told a LOT of people and I'm at nearly 20 weeks now. If they see my belly and ask, I'll say something but I'm not making any grand announcements or anything.
I still have a person who doesn't know my previous pg was a loss. I have to send her a letter. So, if you tell early, keep track!
DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.
It's funny how some people just guess - the minute you don't get a beer or a drink at a resturant, people are automatically suspicious!
I'm still getting used to all of this - trying to have a balance between anxiety and excitement. It's all kind of overwhelming. I'm sure once I meet with my midwife I'll feel a little better.
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