I apologize if anyone felt that I was trying to shame someone. I wasn't. I do stand by my opinion that it is a selfish thing to do and it's a fact that it can and will harm an unborn baby. There is no getting around that. I don't think stating facts is the same as judging or shaming. I'm not up on a high horse. I know it's hard and I will support anyone who is trying to quit.
No one can blame me for getting upset with the mother who doesn't care that the smoking is harming her baby, or the mother who shrugs and says "I know it's bad for the baby but I'm addicted so I can't quit"
I have deep respect for the mother who fights each and every urge and craving, trying every minute of every day to stop so that her baby is healthy. If you bust your behind trying to quit and can't, I mean really really trying hard then I won't fault you.
I firmly believe that smoking, drinking, taking drugs and otherwise abusing your body when pregnant is child abuse. Doing these things can cause lifelong damage to a child. The baby is innocent and cannot fight the cravings or choose not to smoke.
I say, if you smoke and know you can't quit, use some good birth control until you can provide a healthy environment for a baby.