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#271 of 568 Old 11-20-2007, 09:45 PM
 
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Hey, I farted in the market today and me and DS had to run away from it! There were some old ladies coming up the other way, I'm sure they enjoyed it.
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#272 of 568 Old 11-21-2007, 09:58 AM
 
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When we lay down at night to go to bed, ds lays in front of me and dd behind me. Dd will lay down, then sit up, look over at me sweetly and say, "Momma, please don't poot on me." (b/c I do, all too often

Christa
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#273 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 02:48 AM
 
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What is this doing on page 5? Are we getting less stinky?

Here's my update. My farts still smell horrible (DH likes to come up with new descriptions - did I mention the one where my farts smell like the worst Chinese food in town, left to rot and die in a frat boy's dorm room?) and my pee still stinks to high heaven. I shower every 24 hours and am starting to think I need to shower every 12 because I smell THAT BAD, all the time. I used to get away with showering every other day (or sometimes every 3rd day) because I rarely had BO or got sweaty or anything, and my skin & hair are so dry that showering regularly kind of sucks. But now I smell too bad.

The real reason I'm reviving the thread is: HOLY VAGINAL DISCHARGE. Seriously. Now, as I posted here before, I always have "yeti yoni." I'm in fact a yeti in general. My pits are frequently hairy unless I'm showing them off in public that I'm not comfortable around, and my legs have only been hairless once in the past 3 and a half years (for my wedding), and my pubes are never trimmed, ever. I'd like to use some sort of feminist hippie excuse, but really it boils down to: I hate hair removal (aside from eyebrow grooming), I get absolutely no pleasure out of it, I can't imagine why anyone else would care if I don't (my DH doesn't either but if he did I'd tell him to suck it) and so I just don't do it.

So, my pubes have been GROWING LIKE A WEED lately. Wtf? And combined with all the vaginal discharge - HOLY FREAKING CRAP. I told my husband that I feel all "gummed up." It is so gross. I had to put shampoo on my pubic hair just to get all the discharge out! It had been quite a few days where I had discharge getting all over my pubes and totally stiffening them, and copious showering/washing still wouldn't get it all out, and even when it did it'd just come back within a matter of hours. Seriously, my pubes look like I smeared glue all over them and then let 5 men ejaculate on me and then left it all to dry. BLEGH! So today I told the hubby that I can't deal anymore, and I need to trim my pubes, but I can't even *see* them to trim them myself, and the mirror honestly isn't much help because I can't get into any good angle. So I showered, shampooed the pubes and got 'em nice and clean ... and then he used his beard trimmer to trim them down good and short.

WHEW. No more yeti yoni for me until the discharge ends. Crunchy pubic hair is so not hot.

Okay, that was about as TMI as I've gotten this whole thread, right? That way beat my transverse turd/poop-C-section worries. Now someone else has gotta divulge something so I don't get embarrassed and delete this whole thing later.

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#274 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 02:49 AM
 
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Originally Posted by crsta33 View Post
When we lay down at night to go to bed, ds lays in front of me and dd behind me. Dd will lay down, then sit up, look over at me sweetly and say, "Momma, please don't poot on me." (b/c I do, all too often

Christa
Oh and, I almost CHOKED to death laughing at that.

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#275 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 02:54 AM
 
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What is this doing on page 5? Are we getting less stinky?

Here's my update. My farts still smell horrible (DH likes to come up with new descriptions - did I mention the one where my farts smell like the worst Chinese food in town, left to rot and die in a frat boy's dorm room?) and my pee still stinks to high heaven. I shower every 24 hours and am starting to think I need to shower every 12 because I smell THAT BAD, all the time. I used to get away with showering every other day (or sometimes every 3rd day) because I rarely had BO or got sweaty or anything, and my skin & hair are so dry that showering regularly kind of sucks. But now I smell too bad.

The real reason I'm reviving the thread is: HOLY VAGINAL DISCHARGE. Seriously. Now, as I posted here before, I always have "yeti yoni." I'm in fact a yeti in general. My pits are frequently hairy unless I'm showing them off in public that I'm not comfortable around, and my legs have only been hairless once in the past 3 and a half years (for my wedding), and my pubes are never trimmed, ever. I'd like to use some sort of feminist hippie excuse, but really it boils down to: I hate hair removal (aside from eyebrow grooming), I get absolutely no pleasure out of it, I can't imagine why anyone else would care if I don't (my DH doesn't either but if he did I'd tell him to suck it) and so I just don't do it.

So, my pubes have been GROWING LIKE A WEED lately. Wtf? And combined with all the vaginal discharge - HOLY FREAKING CRAP. I told my husband that I feel all "gummed up." It is so gross. I had to put shampoo on my pubic hair just to get all the discharge out! It had been quite a few days of discharge getting all over my pubes and totally stiffening them. Seriously, my pubes look like I smeared glue all over them and then let 5 men ejaculate on me and then left it all to dry. BLEGH! So today I told the hubby that I can't deal anymore, and I need to trim my pubes, but I can't even *see* them to trim them myself, and the mirror honestly isn't much help because I can't get into any good angle. So I showered, shampooed the pubes and got 'em nice and clean ... and then he used his beard trimmer to trim them down good and short.

WHEW. No more yeti yoni for me until the discharge ends. Crunchy pubic hair is so not hot.

Okay, that was about as TMI as I've gotten this whole thread, right? That way beat my transverse turd/poop-C-section worries. Now someone else has gotta divulge something so I don't get embarrassed and delete this whole thing later.
LMAO

Now it doesn't matter if you edit it. Quoted for posterity!!!!!

Funny you should bring this up... I was just eyeing hubby's beard trimmer. I ALWAYS wax my bits. But I haven't during pregnancy, especially this late in the game cuz I can't get into the damn position and besides that, I don't wanna scare baby. Who knows what hair ripping away sounds like from the inside??? My discharge is in overdrive too. My vagina is like a self cleaning oven and it's looking like the casserole I baked in 1998 is coming out.

Time to start the garlic and probiotics. I haven't stunk until recently and the garlic is just gonna add to the funk. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
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#276 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 02:59 AM
 
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MmeMuffin- I've been fighting the battle of the crunchy pubes as well! This morning I woke up to so much discharge I swore my water had broke or something!
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#277 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 03:00 AM
 
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Ha! I just DID edit it, too. But only a little, 'cause it kind of sounded like I was letting days' worth of discharge build up in the pubes w/o trying to wash it out.

The beard trimmer was good! I was glad he did it for me, though, because it was so much easier, but I bet I could do it on my own next time. I would recommend trying it out. Unless your husband would get weirded out by it. But then he doesn't have to know.

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My vagina is like a self cleaning oven and it's looking like the casserole I baked in 1998 is coming out.
I am glad my vagina is not alone in this. It's like Niagara Falls over here.

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#278 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 03:49 AM
 
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I'm LOL because one of the google-generated ads at the bottom of this page says:

Do You Smell?
You Might Be Gross! Take the Free Gross Quiz.
AreYouGross.com

I'll have something to add to this tomorrow, but for now, I'm beat. Utterly and miserably. G'night everybody!


(And no, I did not take the quiz....leaving that up to newmamatobe or some other brave soul....)

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
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#279 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 07:15 AM
 
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My breath is stinking to high heaven!! DP made me cry the other day because of her reaction to my breath. Now she just offers me gum like 20 times a day!!!! I can't help it! I brush my teeth often-it's the major heartburn that does it.

Karen, mother to a wonderful active three year old.
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#280 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 11:17 AM
 
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Oooh, I hear ya! Holy Halitosis, Batman! But, even knowing how rank my own is, what's even worse is catching a whiff of dh's! And I totally know it's just heightened sensitivity, because IRL his doesn't stink. But if I catch the slightest smell of any sort of food on his breath, it makes me want to hurl. I can't stand kissing him (on the mouth) right now, but I don't want to tell him why, because I know mine is 10x worse. So, I just act like i'm really into kissing him in.....other.....places.



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#281 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 11:50 AM
 
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It doesn't end, girls. Post-partum funk and nursing have made me smell WORSE -- like old blood and sour milk. I didn't think it was possible, but it is.

You know, it's funny, this thread made me remember that the reason I took a pregnancy test in the first place all those months ago was that it smelled funky down there. One whiff and I was like, "Break out the pregnancy test, for there can be no other explanation for that odor."
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#282 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 12:27 PM
 
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HOT. Let the stench continue!

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#283 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 12:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The real reason I'm reviving the thread is: HOLY VAGINAL DISCHARGE. Seriously. Now, as I posted here before, I always have "yeti yoni." I'm in fact a yeti in general. My pits are frequently hairy unless I'm showing them off in public that I'm not comfortable around, and my legs have only been hairless once in the past 3 and a half years (for my wedding), and my pubes are never trimmed, ever. I'd like to use some sort of feminist hippie excuse, but really it boils down to: I hate hair removal (aside from eyebrow grooming), I get absolutely no pleasure out of it, I can't imagine why anyone else would care if I don't (my DH doesn't either but if he did I'd tell him to suck it) and so I just don't do it.

So, my pubes have been GROWING LIKE A WEED lately. Wtf? And combined with all the vaginal discharge - HOLY FREAKING CRAP. I told my husband that I feel all "gummed up." It is so gross. I had to put shampoo on my pubic hair just to get all the discharge out! It had been quite a few days where I had discharge getting all over my pubes and totally stiffening them, and copious showering/washing still wouldn't get it all out, and even when it did it'd just come back within a matter of hours. Seriously, my pubes look like I smeared glue all over them and then let 5 men ejaculate on me and then left it all to dry. BLEGH! So today I told the hubby that I can't deal anymore, and I need to trim my pubes, but I can't even *see* them to trim them myself, and the mirror honestly isn't much help because I can't get into any good angle. So I showered, shampooed the pubes and got 'em nice and clean ... and then he used his beard trimmer to trim them down good and short.

WHEW. No more yeti yoni for me until the discharge ends. Crunchy pubic hair is so not hot.

Okay, that was about as TMI as I've gotten this whole thread, right? That way beat my transverse turd/poop-C-section worries. Now someone else has gotta divulge something so I don't get embarrassed and delete this whole thing later.

I can hardly have sex with dh because I cant shave down there. I HATE shaving, and it SUCKS and only lasts like 1 day...maybe 2. But it makes sex feel really good.

I at least try to keep it trimmed!

Well, Its way to scary to me to groom myself when I cant see it. :

My dh is too scared to trim it for me. And if he is scared, I am scared of him. I told him it would be hot if he could figure it out though. Mabye that will get him moving.

So I dont feel like dealing with sex...but I really really really miss it. We have always been really active. I think dh is so lonley! And I am too!

But with the nastyness of "it", is yet another reason. I wish I could get myself to not be so exausted where I could at least have a little "fun" with dh, even if its not intercourse. I am sure he misses playing...sex has been SO functional latley. Its like "you want to, sure, you want to? sure...ok then..." and then done. It sucks. I need to buck up and just do it. I am lazy in bed.


Its gross to be gross. Yuck. ewwww. ewwwww.

PS-Dont ever get a bikini wax! I swear to you, it hurts worse than natural childbirth. Really. And it doesnt last any longer than shaving.
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#284 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 12:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It doesn't end, girls. Post-partum funk and nursing have made me smell WORSE -- like old blood and sour milk. I didn't think it was possible, but it is.

You know, it's funny, this thread made me remember that the reason I took a pregnancy test in the first place all those months ago was that it smelled funky down there. One whiff and I was like, "Break out the pregnancy test, for there can be no other explanation for that odor."
Thanks for reminding me. :

At least the end is in sight postpartum.
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#285 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 01:25 PM
 
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HOT. Let the stench continue!

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#286 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 03:13 PM
 
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And MY BOOBS ARE RESTING ON MY BELLY!!!!!!!!!
I hear ya! I told my DH that I'm sorry I look like a female version of Buddha!

Happy wife and also mommy to my two boys, 12-12-07 (c-sec) and 04-05-09 (vbac!) and another due in December.
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#287 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 03:28 PM
 
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It doesn't end, girls. Post-partum funk and nursing have made me smell WORSE -- like old blood and sour milk. I didn't think it was possible, but it is.
Thanks, I forgot about smelling like a butcher shop. Ugh, ANDDDDD I got a yeast infection that smelled like that Amish Friendship bread mix. You know, the stuff that looks like snot that has been passed around since Jesus? Yeah, that.
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#288 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 03:44 PM
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Thanks, I forgot about smelling like a butcher shop.

Ahhh, I remember that smell. Yum. :
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#289 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 04:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You know, the stuff that looks like snot that has been passed around since Jesus? Yeah, that.
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#290 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 04:33 PM
 
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you ladies are seriously cracking me up. is there a hall of fame for funniest threads on MDC? we need to start a sticky!

sex at 38 weeks SUCKS. dh and i dtd a couple of nights ago, and it was so irritating. firstly, he was touching me too softly, and it just felt annoying. then, he almost entered the back door, and i was like, "HELL NO!" so i said to him, "you know that's my a$$hole, right? stay away!" there will be no anal intercourse at this time, my hemmorhoids were shaking in their boots. then i was even more annoyed. i almost wanted to stop, but then i felt bad for dh. and me. so then we continue, and it feels like my pubic bones are splitting apart. then we both orgasm, i manage not to crush him, and i spend 5 whole minutes getting off him, trying not to hurt myself.:

i'd rather smell like a butcher shop!

is that TMI enough for ya, Mme Muffin?!?! :LOL
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#291 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 05:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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my hemmorhoids were shaking in their boots.
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there will be no anal intercourse at this time
I think I would rather...the baby is too low for sex.
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#292 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 05:25 PM
 
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you ladies are seriously cracking me up. is there a hall of fame for funniest threads on MDC? we need to start a sticky!

sex at 38 weeks SUCKS. dh and i dtd a couple of nights ago, and it was so irritating. firstly, he was touching me too softly, and it just felt annoying. then, he almost entered the back door, and i was like, "HELL NO!" so i said to him, "you know that's my a$$hole, right? stay away!" there will be no anal intercourse at this time, my hemmorhoids were shaking in their boots. then i was even more annoyed. i almost wanted to stop, but then i felt bad for dh. and me. so then we continue, and it feels like my pubic bones are splitting apart. then we both orgasm, i manage not to crush him, and i spend 5 whole minutes getting off him, trying not to hurt myself.:

i'd rather smell like a butcher shop!

is that TMI enough for ya, Mme Muffin?!?! :LOL


I just laughed so hard-and I am sitting at a cubicle pretending to work! You almost blew my cover!!!

Karen, mother to a wonderful active three year old.
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#293 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 05:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You know the OP where it was stinky?

How about -

My belly is so big and Low that I now cannot close my legs when I sit down. I basically have to sit with them spread wide apart like a hooker. LOL.

And now I cant hide it anymore.

Truthfully, I am probably the only one who smells it.

I know for a fact that dh avoids smelling it like the plague.
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#294 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 06:05 PM
 
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I am SOBBING with laughter. SOBBING!!!

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#295 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 06:18 PM
 
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Ummmm.....my thighs haven't spoken to each other in a couple months now. Which is killer on my PSD, incidentally. I asked my chiro what i could do between adjustments to deal with the PSD, and she suggested I keep my knees together as much as possible--when sitting, sleeping, etc.

Oh, NOW she tells me! Damn, if I'd only kept them together NINE MONTHS AGO, I'd not be having this problem!

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#296 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 07:13 PM
 
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Be careful with the beard trimmer ladies...I badly nicked my labia once upon a time (and boy did it bleed!) Now if I use it I make sure to hold them out of the way.

I really hate the hair removal process too, but have to keep things short with the pg discharge.

Christa
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#297 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 09:18 PM
 
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My belly is so big and Low that I now cannot close my legs when I sit down. I basically have to sit with them spread wide apart like a hooker. LOL.

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Ummmm.....my thighs haven't spoken to each other in a couple months now.

My thighs have gone through a divorce. I don't think they even know what the other one looks like anymore!! I can't imagine what people around me have been smelling!

Karen, mother to a wonderful active three year old.
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#298 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 09:32 PM
 
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Seriously, my pubes look like I smeared glue all over them and then let 5 men ejaculate on me and then left it all to dry.

Crunchy pubic hair is so not hot.
MmeMuffin, you freaking kill me!!!

Okay, this is soooo lame compared to all of you other ladies, but....I haven't had anything to contribute here because I haven't been dealing with the stink....until now.

Yesterday I came in from walking the dog and smelled poop. So, I'm checking my shoes, checking the dog - nothing. You guessed it - that smell was coming from me! And, yes, I had showered. I guess twice daily showers are going to be required from here on out. And no more wearing the same shorts to bed several nights in a row.

Lynn, single lesbian mama to All Mighty Iris 12/10/07
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#299 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 09:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by bumblebeej View Post
Thanks, I forgot about smelling like a butcher shop. Ugh, ANDDDDD I got a yeast infection that smelled like that Amish Friendship bread mix. You know, the stuff that looks like snot that has been passed around since Jesus? Yeah, that.
You're killing me! I was given the Amish Friendship Bread starter a few weeks ago and have been making it and passing it around ever since. My friends and I have noticed the husbands are freaked out by it. I just read your post to DH and we HOWLED!

Now, I've been following this thread since the beginning, thinking, "oh, tee-hee, these poor ladies and their stinky vaginas... thank goodness that's not ME." Well, the stench has hit. Every time I hit the toilet it smells like cat pee or something. Guess I got what I deserve. Glad I only have another month or so, but then I keep reading and am reminded of the "road kill effect" that happens after birth. Charming. That and the thrush that lasted 10 months before. VERY sexy. *sigh*
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#300 of 568 Old 11-26-2007, 10:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by crsta33 View Post
Be careful with the beard trimmer ladies...I badly nicked my labia once upon a time (and boy did it bleed!) Now if I use it I make sure to hold them out of the way.

I really hate the hair removal process too, but have to keep things short with the pg discharge.

Christa
OH GOD THAT HURTS!!! I just visualized it.

I have done it before and I have major major anxiety about it everytime I use it.

I wont use it unless I can plainly see what I am doing. Which is why things are OUT OF CONTROL in that department.
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