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Old 10-17-2007, 09:42 AM
 
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Bwahahahaha, I already knew what it was before--in college we'd look up things to try and gross each other out--but I have to say I. didn't. want. to. remember. it!!!

Hot carls are up there in the grossness factor of 187263405187629435619824365189162345871629356 to the factor of 10825602834605817263405260394762093562093!!!!!!

Karin, Wife to Dear Sweet English Husband~Soon to be Legally American. Mom to Zach~13, Lily~9, Alex~2, and Izzy or Zeke arriving July 2010! Living a life full of LOVE!
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Old 10-17-2007, 10:43 AM
 
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Originally Posted by CowsRock View Post
Ok, I'm going to resist googling the term. The overwhelming number of hurling smilies are enough to make me accept that this is knowledge I don't want.
ditto! haha
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Old 10-17-2007, 10:53 AM
 
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I think pooping in labor depends more on when you last went than whether or not your are medicated. With my first, I had loose stools in early labor and was cleared out by the time I got to pushing. With the 2nd I'd been so constipated that I...umm...pooped in the pool at the end of labor. And you know what? I didn't even care...I was even telling them where to find the fish aquarium net to fish it out with. (I didn't buy one specifically for the purpose...they actually used our regular net...the one we used for the aquarium )

Christa
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Old 10-17-2007, 12:38 PM
 
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I asked dh what it was....he has this strange talent of knowing all these things (would you believe I didn't even know what a "cameltoe" was until he enlightened me a few nights ago!??). I have no idea where he gets his knowledge.

But in this case, even he didn't know.....so that makes me doubly scared to find out! I am the type of person that cannot watch a scary movie alone....not even comic book type stuff (I cannot watch "Heroes" without dh!). I have a feeling that this would be a similar thing--I'd need someone nearby to help me through it!

So, since I've lived well without that knowledge for nearly 30 years now, I guess I shall resist the tug of curiosity.

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Old 10-17-2007, 08:03 PM
 
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I was just on the phone with really bad heartburn. I was leaving a voice mail-and I BURPED ON THEIR VOICEMAIL!!

: :

Karen, mother to a wonderful active three year old.
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Old 10-17-2007, 08:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SheBear View Post
But in this case, even he didn't know.....so that makes me doubly scared to find out!
He would probably know it by its other term, "Cleveland Steamer," because I'd heard of that one before but forgot what it was and promptly remembered when my friend looked it up and explained the whole thing to me. So, if you're feeling daring, ask him what a Cleveland Steamer is.

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Originally Posted by expectantmami View Post
I was just on the phone with really bad heartburn. I was leaving a voice mail-and I BURPED ON THEIR VOICEMAIL!!

: :
I am WEEPING with laughter.

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Old 10-17-2007, 08:11 PM
 
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Karen, I laughed until I had tears! That was great!

I laugh because the other night, I turned to kiss my husband good-night and let out a man-belch right in his face! I felt so bad, but at the same time sooooo relieved!

Karin, Wife to Dear Sweet English Husband~Soon to be Legally American. Mom to Zach~13, Lily~9, Alex~2, and Izzy or Zeke arriving July 2010! Living a life full of LOVE!
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Old 10-18-2007, 12:42 AM
 
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You know what's really frustrating? When you run a nice, hot bath....the first real relaxing soak you've had in nearly a month. You run it deep and hot, unwrap one of the really nice bath bombs you've been hoarding, sink back and sigh deeply.....then let out a huge, lethal fart! The foulest time-bomb imaginable...the kind that makes the neighbor's dogs start barking.

Totally leveled the room. Really nice bath bomb was completely wasted...by a different kind of bomb!


And, as if that wasn't enough, 2 minutes later, I sneezed twice and pee'd a little. So now I'm in a hot, steamy room with putrid air and pee water. Such a pleasant bathing experience. And such a difficult decision--do I just give up, drain the tub, wash my hair and mutter "we live to bathe another day," or do I shrug it off and soak in my own waste?

I can't decide whether to feel really ashamed or a tiny bit proud that I decided to soak awhile.....:

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Old 10-18-2007, 01:17 AM
 
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This is the best thread in the world. How often do I say that? I really mean it. Farting in the shower is awful, because the stench hangs in the steamy air. I'm sure your stinky bath was relaxing, though, if it could relax such a huge toot out of ya.

So today my hubby called on his way home from work, and we often shower together when we can manage it. I told him to hurry home because I was "pungent" and really needed to be sanitized. He got home and gave me a hug and kiss and said I didn't smell that bad. I said, "Smell my armpit." And he did.

He pulled away with a DISGUSTED look and said I smelled like a Tupperware of crusty food that had been left to rot in the car overnight.

Ah, love.

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Old 10-18-2007, 01:24 AM
 
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you know your DH loves you when you call him at work and ask him to bring you tums and preparation H - and not only does he not even skip a beat before saying ok, but when he brings the goodies home, they're both "extra strength" formulas!!!

and i've been wondering if my pg is having a negative impact on the environment with all the extra laundry and toilet flushing i've had to do the past couple of months.... thank goodness it's cooled down in the NE!
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Old 10-18-2007, 01:58 PM
 
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Oh ladies, look here - we have a fan club!

Mama to DS1 (12/07), DS2 (4/11), and DD (6/22/14)
Finally diagnosed with APS after 3 s (11/09, 3/10, 7/13)
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Old 10-18-2007, 02:07 PM
 
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Woo HOO!!!!! WE are famous!!!!

Karen, mother to a wonderful active three year old.
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Old 10-18-2007, 02:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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LMAO.
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Old 10-18-2007, 02:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok this isnt a bodily function, but just as gross-

I just ate a extra value meal from McDonalds, french fries, chicken nuggets, and drink...

and


I am still hungry.

Starving actually.

Usually empty calories last a few minutes!!!
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Old 10-18-2007, 03:00 PM
 
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OMG that is AWESOME that we have a fan club!

I noticed that they mentioned last weeks South Park- I was afraid to mention that here because I thought it would be inappropriate...but what the hey? I have two teenagers- so South Park is a regular part of my life...

Okay- did anybody see it? When they talked about not traveling during your 'TURD TRIMESTER'- I thought I was going to die...

And the men- ooohing and ahhhing over the ultrasound of the giant poo- I couldn't help but think what excellent timing on the part of South Park! Trey Parker and Matt Stone must have been reading our thread...

Oh- and hows this for gross- last week at my midwife appt.- I forgot to use the wipey thingie before I peed in the cup- and when I looked into the cup after I peed- it was all milky with creamy discharge!!!! :Puke
I was HORRIFIED!!!! But I had already peed as much as I could- so I couldn't give another sample!!! I had to put that NASTY, CONTAMINATED cup of befouled cream-of-PEE-PEE in the receptacle! I was so embarrassed! They must think I'm the queen of Crotch Funk! Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!! I guess those pubic wipies serve a purpose after all...
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Old 10-18-2007, 04:52 PM
 
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bluesymama, you are too much.

But re: the fan club: AAAUUUUUGH!!!! :

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Old 10-18-2007, 06:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by transformed View Post
Ok this isnt a bodily function, but just as gross-

I just ate a extra value meal from McDonalds, french fries, chicken nuggets, and drink...

and


I am still hungry.

Starving actually.

Usually empty calories last a few minutes!!!

Welcome to my world. I can eat, eat and eat. Yesterday I inhaled a Spinach Calzone. I could have eaten more-but I was too embarrased.

Karen, mother to a wonderful active three year old.
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Old 10-18-2007, 06:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by expectantmami View Post
I could have eaten more-but I was too embarrased.
I am actually rather impressed by my superhuman ability to eat.

Sometimes my jaw gets tired though.



But it sucked today because I dont have the energy to grocery shop so I sit here being hungry.
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Old 10-18-2007, 07:21 PM
 
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But it sucked today because I dont have the energy to grocery shop so I sit here being hungry.
OMG that happened to me today!!!! I am sitting here at work with a Snickers ice cream bar craving-however I'm too lazy to waddle the one block it takes to go get one!!!

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Old 10-18-2007, 08:01 PM
 
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Hi there to our Stinky Fanclub!

I had my husband nearly in tears today. I ended up with some pretty severe round ligament pain and went to go lay down to ease the belly pressure and my very sweet concerned husband followed me to the bed. He offered to do "something, anything" for me. I still had my tennis shoes on and I asked him to take them off for me. Lately my feet have stunk to high heaven, and he knows it. He almost cried at me that me asking him to take my stinky shoes off was THEE worst thing I could ever ask him to do.

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He took them off for me, and then tucked me into bed for a nap *sigh* I really really love my husband!

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Old 10-18-2007, 08:15 PM
 
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NEVER MIND DON'T EVER READ ANYTHING I WRITE. I am too stupid for this world.

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Old 10-18-2007, 08:30 PM
 
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NEVER MIND DON'T EVER READ ANYTHING I WRITE. I am too stupid for this world.
You OK? I love your posts-they make me laugh really hard. I can't imagine you writting anything stupid!!!!

Karen, mother to a wonderful active three year old.
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Old 10-18-2007, 08:31 PM
 
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Well, it's still hot out here and our apartment complex decided to convert over to the heating system so we have no air conditioning. : Anyway, it was really hot last night and the only way I could stand to sleep was in my underwear. Poor dh. There were no pants or covers to trap my smelliness. I know he could smell me but he was nice and didn't say anything. :
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Old 10-18-2007, 08:48 PM
 
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from our fanclub, i think we've been out-TMI-ed!!!!:
Quote:
Originally Posted by mosesface View Post
oh wow.
i am so thankful that i got to read that thread and read choice bits of it to dh before i had my very own ridiculous stinky TMI moment yesterday afternoon.

are you people ready for this? i was not ready for this.

i've never had a very well trained colon. my whole life i can't really remember pooping more than two or three times a week. my midwife was very concerned about this fact when i told her early in pregnancy. she insisted that i start using glycerin suppositories and do my best to poo every day and promised that i would thank her later.

oh dear lord how i wish i had listened to this wise woman.

yesterday afternoon i decided that i should probably use a suppository since i hadn't gone in a couple of days and i have a mw appt on thursday and need to give a good report. once the suppository kicked in and i sat on the toilet i knew there something "special" about this poo.

the pressure was so intense, i reached down to feel my perineum only to discover that i was indeed attempting to pass something the size of a grapefruit through my anus. there was a point when i panicked and thought for sure i was going to have to go to the emergency room because i was going to be split in half. there was absolutely no way something this large was going to come out of a hole that small!!

i started thinking through everything i've read about labor and prayed to god for mercy. i used deep breathing, walking, rocking, and some squatting. in time (about 30 minutes) my body took over and i absolutely had to push. it was the most intense feeling ever and i was sure i was being torn to bits but once it was out, i cried from relief.

the size of this poop was so incredible, i INSISTED that dh come and look. we both teared up at the sight, simultaneously proud and terrified at what my body had done. that poo was about 4.5 inches in diameter and almost two feet long. i made gloves out of plastic bags so that i could break it up into pieces small enough to flush (it took 5 flushes to get it all). it had to weigh at least 5 pounds and the first half was ROCK HARD.

needless to say, i waddled around sore for the rest of the day and most of this morning.

that, my friends, is hopefully as disgusting as this pregnancy will get.:
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Old 10-18-2007, 10:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by expectantmami View Post
You OK? I love your posts-they make me laugh really hard. I can't imagine you writting anything stupid!!!!
Thanks! Sadly for me, I don't remember what I wrote, but whatever it was... it was pretty dumb. Like, painfully dumb. Ditzy dumb. Nonsensical, what-does-that-even-mean dumb. It's one of those days.

Quote:
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from our fanclub, i think we've been out-TMI-ed!!!!:
HOLY CRAP. No pun intended. And I thought MY ginormous poops were bad.

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Old 10-18-2007, 10:31 PM
 
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WOW! She's like my exact opposite. In the world of marvel comics, she'd be my arch-enemy!
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Old 10-18-2007, 10:55 PM
 
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Heehee! MmeMuffin, *I* know what you wrote! It came to my inbox before you could edit.....how much are you offering me to keep quiet??


:

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Old 10-18-2007, 10:58 PM
 
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Heehee! MmeMuffin, *I* know what you wrote! It came to my inbox before you could edit.....how much are you offering me to keep quiet??


:
You get them in your e-mail? How? I actually have no clue what I said anyway, but I do remember it being stupid. Just confirm for me it WAS stupid, right?

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Old 10-18-2007, 11:20 PM
 
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Go to your User CP, go to "Edit Options" and under Messaging & Notifications, where it says "Default Thread Subscription Mode", choose "Instant Email Notification"

Then you will get an email alerting you to new replies on any thread to which you have replied/subscribed. Cool, huh?

And no, I didn't think what you said was stupid. I thought it was funny, and was about to respond to it when I noticed you'd edited. (it was something about the smilie, btw.....and totally what I was thinking, too!)

Then again, I don't know if the fact that *I* agreed with you is going to offer much comfort or reassurance!

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DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
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Old 10-19-2007, 12:33 AM
 
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Oh yeah. When I looked at the smiley again it looked totally different and I felt like an idiot. It was me saying that the spit-drink smiley spits back into its own glass and drinks it... well, it doesn't. The cup is empty while the smiley laughs and then it refills itself magically. Then I realized I was looking way too hard at this smiley and that I am just a waste of space.

So this means you have seen some of my other dumbass things on this thread, even the ones I was quick enough to edit within seconds and so they didn't show up as edits. GREAT. I can feel my self-esteem lowering by the second.

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