How long can you hide a pregnancy and request for tips - Mothering Forums

How long can you hide a pregnancy and request for tips

Mommyintraining2's Avatar Mommyintraining2 (TS)
11:10 PM Liked: 0
#1 of 23
02-15-2008 | Posts: 739
Joined: Dec 2006
I'm on my third pregnancy. It was a complete surprise since I also have a six month old. For personal reasons (and maybe obvious ones too) I would like to put off talking to people about it. I am about 30 pounds overweight. How long do you think is reasonable to try and hide being pregnant? And does anyone have any suggestions on dressing to hide the obvious?
Ironica's Avatar Ironica
11:21 PM Liked: 12
#2 of 23
02-15-2008 | Posts: 5,441
Joined: Sep 2005
I'm only sorta overweight (about 50 pounds that I carry well), and at 32 weeks, I could *still* hide it if I tried really hard.

One thing that you might try if you're good with sewing clothes... a friend passed down some of her "maternity" shirts to me. They're actually normal shirts she bought a few sizes up, then took in the shoulders and sleeves. I wore one the other day, and looked soooo much less pregnant. ;-)

If you work, and have to dress professionally... I got a suit at Motherhood that, seriously, I just look fat in. ;-) (Yeah, not that anyone *wants* to look fat, but in some cases it might be preferable to looking pregnant!)

I'd say... dark colors, silhouette-disguising patterns like tie-dye, stuff that doesn't have the "maternity cut" (empire waist and belly gussets) would all help. You may end up getting "maternity" clothes sooner rather than later, depending on how your shape changes; it may be that the belly is more obvious if you're "squeezing into" your normal clothes. Then again, it might not.
shanniesue2's Avatar shanniesue2
11:23 PM Liked: 31
#3 of 23
02-15-2008 | Posts: 1,529
Joined: Jul 2007
I guess it depends on who you want to hide the pregnancy from and how long you're wanting to hide it... I mean, do you want to hide it from people at work, friends, aquaintences, etc? Or do you want to hide it from close family as well?

A lot of people wait until their second trimest to tell anyone... so that wouldn't be terribly difficult. And it will be easier to hide from people who know you more casually. People who know you well will know how clothes tend to fit you and will be able to tell faster.

I don't know. I had a cousin who hid her pregnancy from everyone but her boyfriend until she was 7 months. But she also didn't receive ANY prenatal care, and ended up with pre-eclampsia and an emergency c/s at 7 months... that was how everyone found out... she got really sick... told her parents she was pregnant... went to the ER because her blood pressure was through the roof... and spent a couple weeks in the hospital where doctors didn't know if she was going to make it. Luckily she did and so did her baby... anyway, that's the only real story that I know of someone hiding their pregnancy... but the big part of the problem with that situation is that she didn't receive any prenatal care or education... so she didn't know how to keep herself healthy...

Again, I don't know your situation, but I would say that you don't have to tell anyone until you're ready to... and in the mean time, just wear baggy clothes, I guess. Although, it will eventually come out that you are pregnant... you can't hide it forever...
Shiloh's Avatar Shiloh
11:23 PM Liked: 187
#4 of 23
02-15-2008 | Posts: 6,680
Joined: Apr 2005
tie things around your a cardigan...
tops that will just hang off your boobs done makeup on to draw attention up not to your middle
carrying a baby in a carrier ...making comments like baby fat just doesn't drop off this dang tummy I still look pregnant boy I need to workout or jenny craig...saving up for a tummy tuck

get elasticized pants - not maternity wear I got a great pair of jeans all spandexy at walmart for 20 I have no bum maternity pants dont stay up well on me

okay and the obvious
keep bowel movements regular, keep gas to a minamum..
keep exercising. If you don't carry yourself pregnant people might not think it..I didn't know I was pregnant with #3...I was 5 months....I think because I didn't know it...I didn't show it..

and don't feel bad about hiding it in this day and age with screening tests between 12-20 weeks, and miscarriages, nasty work environments it didn't used to be considered in good taste to tell anyone until after 4+ months...
Mommyintraining2's Avatar Mommyintraining2 (TS)
12:34 AM Liked: 0
#5 of 23
02-16-2008 | Posts: 739
Joined: Dec 2006
...making comments like baby fat just doesn't drop off this dang tummy I still look pregnant boy I need to workout or jenny craig...saving up for a tummy tuck

I LOVE all of your comments. And the ideas on what to tell people are hilarious. It's good to laugh about it. And nice to be able to talk to someone, even though I'm not ready to tell people who know me. It will be fun to see how long I can go without anyone saying anything.
trinimommy's Avatar trinimommy
01:07 AM Liked: 11
#6 of 23
02-16-2008 | Posts: 555
Joined: Nov 2007
I am still spilling the beans now at 7 of big baggy clothes...big old shirts did it for me...but I am pretty small...I also always kept a sweater...hold my pure in front of me or something...always have a reason for holding something in front of me...stand behind like I been on
Smokering's Avatar Smokering
01:18 AM Liked: 1614
#7 of 23
02-16-2008 | Posts: 8,313
Joined: Sep 2007
Layers are good, I find. Like a long scarf that hangs down, or an open cardigan/unbuttoned button-down shirt worn over a T-shirt, or a long coat, or something tied artily around the waist. I wasn't particularly trying to hide my pregnancy, but when I wore layers I did look a lot less pregnant. Really tight clothes *or* really loose, flowy, smocky ones are the ones which scream 'pregnant!' on me.

Oddly enough, I'm 35 weeks now and there's one pre-baby top--a plain, T-shirty-style longish top--which not only still fits, but from certain angles makes me look barely pregnant at all. It's weird. None of my other tops do that anymore!

Oh, and as a PP mentioned---dark colours!
sapphire_chan's Avatar sapphire_chan
01:25 AM Liked: 205
#8 of 23
02-16-2008 | Posts: 27,052
Joined: May 2005
In early pregnancy, your tummy will probably poof out before there's actually a uterus sticking up (based on the fourth pregnancy of a lady I know who is showing *way* more than me going "actually it's just poof" and pushing her tummy right back in) so foundation undies with mild control will take care of showing early on. (Bonus effect, postpartum pudge and "just you" pudge will also get smoothed out.)

Start wearing baggy tops *now* since it'll be less noticeable later on if you're in the same shirts.

And congratulations!!

It must be kind of scary to think of having two so close together, but you can definitely do it!
Tiffanoodle's Avatar Tiffanoodle
02:04 AM Liked: 0
#9 of 23
02-16-2008 | Posts: 1,119
Joined: Nov 2007
You got some great suggestions! There is no possible way I could hide this pregnancy if I tried. I guess *maybe* if I layered things and kind of "stuffed" my boobs or something. Many people are VERY hesitant to ask if you're pregnant, so you at least have that going for you.
Shiloh's Avatar Shiloh
03:16 AM Liked: 187
#10 of 23
02-16-2008 | Posts: 6,680
Joined: Apr 2005
tell people you have a parasite
its true...
LoobyLoo's Avatar LoobyLoo
11:47 AM Liked: 0
#11 of 23
02-16-2008 | Posts: 298
Joined: Dec 2007
Originally Posted by Shiloh View Post
exactly. Show the girls off and nobody will be looking at your belly!

I'm also overweight (between a size 14/16 depending on the style) and have been buying all my 'maternity' clothes from plus-sized stores as I'm getting them cheaper - lots of sales on at the moment - and there's more choice/fun styles. Although I'm keen on the empire style tops (fitted under the bewbs then loose around the belly), these definitely make me look much more pregnant, while normal fitted work shirts worn a size or two bigger just make me look chubbier. However, I'd rather people think I look pg so am actively trying to emphasise my bump at the moment! I've got a load of old clothes in much bigger sizes from before I lost weight, and they just make me look like I'm getting back to the size I used to be (20/22) through weight gain rather than pg.
Avena's Avatar Avena
05:01 PM Liked: 5
#12 of 23
02-16-2008 | Posts: 1,741
Joined: May 2005
to you mama! I totally know where you are coming from hang in there
Mommyintraining2's Avatar Mommyintraining2 (TS)
12:07 AM Liked: 0
#13 of 23
02-17-2008 | Posts: 739
Joined: Dec 2006
Thanks so much! The support means a lot!
Ilaria's Avatar Ilaria
03:28 AM Liked: 321
#14 of 23
02-21-2008 | Posts: 2,460
Joined: Jan 2002
I hid my pregnancy until I was 15 weeks. I just wore baggier, flowier tops (I am regularly a size 4). People noticed my huge boobs before my belly.
baggybears's Avatar baggybears
04:17 AM Liked: 0
#15 of 23
02-21-2008 | Posts: 185
Joined: Oct 2007
I always wear my coat, not to hide being pregnant, but because I'm always cold here in AK, and everyone says they can't tell I'm pregnant yet, lol.
nccrunchymama's Avatar nccrunchymama
02:22 PM Liked: 0
#16 of 23
02-21-2008 | Posts: 358
Joined: Dec 2007
Originally Posted by Ilaria View Post
I hid my pregnancy until I was 15 weeks. I just wore baggier, flowier tops (I am regularly a size 4). People noticed my huge boobs before my belly.
I'm also a size 4 and I was able to hide my first for about 18 weeks. Baggy tops definitely helped, but also be aware of how you stand or sit. Some positions will draw attention to the belly. Others will not. If you're top heavy too, that's a big bonus for hiding. Good luck.
frontierpsych's Avatar frontierpsych
02:33 PM Liked: 11
#17 of 23
02-21-2008 | Posts: 6,163
Joined: Jun 2006
I can't hide a pregnancy worth crap. I'm a size 0 so I pop right away. I've had strangers ask when I was due from about 8 weeks on, even with my first! I can hide it till about 16 weeks if I wear REALLY baggy clothes. By 6 months I look "ready to pop" and by 7 or 8 months everyone assumed I was having twins (I was even told I HAD to be having twins, and always got those stories about how someone's sister's friend's mother's cousin had twins and didn't know till the birth.) FWIW I had one big 10 pounder!
Luckily my family lives far away. I'm not telling any family I'm pregnant with this one until my second trimester (coming up shortly!) I'm not looking forward to it. When I told my dad I was pregnant with my second he said "Well, I'm not getting my hopes up this time." :
JunebugsMom's Avatar JunebugsMom
02:36 PM Liked: 18
#18 of 23
02-21-2008 | Posts: 1,073
Joined: Jan 2006
I am almost 20 weeks with my second and I can still hide it if I wear the right clothes.
sniffmommy's Avatar sniffmommy
03:14 PM Liked: 71
#19 of 23
02-21-2008 | Posts: 113
Joined: Mar 2007
If you are comfortable with pants or skirt across your midline, then you give the illusion that you just have a fatter tummy. Dress with a dark bottom and lighter top. Layering with a jacket or sweater you keep open will then create vertical lines covering up even more of your stomach.
oh, and congrats on the pregnancy!
Marieke's Avatar Marieke
03:58 PM Liked: 0
#20 of 23
02-21-2008 | Posts: 163
Joined: Jan 2005
Originally Posted by Tiffanoodle View Post
Many people are VERY hesitant to ask if you're pregnant, so you at least have that going for you.
I think this might be the thing that would work most in the OP's favour really. Nobody wants to go "So, when are you due?" and have the respondent reply that they're not pregnant. Big "Whoops" there...

How long do you think is reasonable to try and hide being pregnant?
I guess that depends on how long you can get away with it and how long you wish to wait telling people.

With my first we waited until the end of the first trimester before telling anyone besides a very select few close friends.

This time around we actually told close relatives as soon as we found out, but others not until 19-20 weeks or so because of waiting for the outcome of genetic testing from an Amniocentesis.

I carry small though (and also have some comfort poundage), and being that I stand 5'8" tall, that helps disperse the displaced organs a little better as well. So I doubt most people could tell I was pregnant until the midway point anyway.

Cardigans/vests/open shirts can help mask the belly quite a bit. And sucking in the gut a little always worked for me a bit, but I do that as habit regardless... if I let it 'hang loose' I look much bigger.

hyz's Avatar hyz
05:44 PM Liked: 0
#21 of 23
02-21-2008 | Posts: 680
Joined: Nov 2007
Well, I don't really know, but I'm 17.5 weeks with my first, and only a couple people at work know, and only because I told them. I can still wear my regular pants, just with a rubber band through the button hole to make the waist bigger. I had to buy some longer, loose fitting tops to cover that rubber band solution, though. I always wear a sweater at work, anyway, because it's cold in here. I find chunkier knits work a lot better than real light stuff that will catch and hang on your bulges . And again, stuff that's cut square, to fit the chest and hang straight down off the breasts works well. Also good are sweaters with a waist band (similar to most sweatshirts) so that they hug the hips a little but billow out at the waist a bit.

I'm usually a size 6 pants with a size 2 top (I'm 5'8" but thin on top, so like, if I buy an A-line or empire waist dress, I go with the 2, but jeans, etc. are generally a 6). For now, I just look a bit bloated (and I can suck it in if I really have to)--either that, or it looks like my torso is fattening up to match my bottom! lol.
Jannah6's Avatar Jannah6
05:52 PM Liked: 0
#22 of 23
02-21-2008 | Posts: 2,066
Joined: Aug 2007
Watch your posture, walk tall with yoour back straight. Carry your LO in front for as long as you can. Watch your salt intake,since it can cause puffiness. I tried to hide my 5th, but couldn't for too long. I always start to show in the first or second month:
Mommyintraining2's Avatar Mommyintraining2 (TS)
03:22 AM Liked: 0
#23 of 23
02-22-2008 | Posts: 739
Joined: Dec 2006
Great suggestions! I want to hide for as long as I can. I'm just not up for talking about it since I already have such a full plate. Since I'm breastfeeding, I'm pretty busty. So that's helpful. I bought my first "fat" shirt. Trying to let my tummy hang out a little now while my daughter is still little. As it gets more obvious, I'll start sucking it in
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