How to get a Blessingway?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 03-03-2008, 01:51 PM - Thread Starter
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A friend of mine, who has since moved out of state threw me a beautiful blessingway for my second pregnancy. I would really love to have a blessingway again but don't know how to ask for one. I certainly don't need a baby shower again as I only need/want a few things for this baby. Has anyone here asked for a blessingway? How do I go about it?
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#2 of 6 Old 03-03-2008, 02:29 PM
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Best way to get a Blessingway, which is a term for an important element of the tradition of a specific group of Native Americans, is to be born a member of that group and participate in your own culture.

The best way to get your friends to come together to welcome your new baby with blessings and wishes and memories instead of stuff is to invite them.

The rule about not throwing your own shower (or a shower for a close relative) is that it's rude to beg for things. It is entirely appropriate to ask those close to you to help welcome your new baby.
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#3 of 6 Old 03-03-2008, 02:34 PM
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If you get a copy of Mother Rising by Yana Courtland, Barb Lucke, and Donna ****** Watelet, you could show it to one of your closer friends and mention that you've had one before and you'd love to do it again. Would she be interested in helping? Since its your third pregnancy, you don't need or want a baby shower, but you'd like to have a special gathering with your other female friends.
Since you'll be asking, I would specify what you think the most important elements of a blessing way for you and let your friends take it from there.
I don't think is wrong to ask, but I would keep a casual attitude and not be concerned about it being elaborate. Sometimes simple is sweet.
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#4 of 6 Old 03-03-2008, 03:12 PM
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Since you are not asking for gifts (like with a shower) I see it appropriate to invite people yourself if you want to. Depending on your circle, you might have to explain what it is so people don't assume it's a shower. If you feel odd about hosting one, is there a friend or relative you could ask to invite people for you?

My MW offered to have one for me. If you don't mind me asking, what about it made it so special to you? I can't find the point for me (but I'm not a sentimental person). My MW feels very strongly about them but will honor my wishes. I wonder if I'm missing something...???
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#5 of 6 Old 03-03-2008, 03:18 PM
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I just wanted to add that in my circle of friends we actually call them Mother Blessing Ceremonies instead of Blessingways to be politically correct.
While some of what we do might be loosely based on the Blessingway tradition, we are not part of that tribe and our gatherings are very kind-veggie-rainbow-crunchy-granola-hippiechickie-american. I love the book Mother Rising and find it very helpful for planning a ceremony like this. We henna the belly, tell stories, sing, give footbaths/massages, give gifts for the mother (like birthing beads or postpartum gifts), and bring frozen homemade breastfeeding-friendly food for the mama after the babe comes. We bless her and love her and have a lot of fun and take a lot of pictures!
Although I agree with sapphire that you can just invite your friends over and let them bless you, it is very nice to have a designated "hostess" (even if its at your house, which is often a great choice) to direct the flow of the ceremony, so the pregnant mama can relax and enjoy, and not be the one running the show.
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#6 of 6 Old 03-03-2008, 03:19 PM
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BFF and I have had similar ceremonies for eachother. We called them Mama Blessings, or Mama Gatherings. I would share your ideas with a good friend or family member that you think might like to help. It can be as elaborate or as simple as you both would like.
Our focuses each time were to bring together our close friends and family, share birth stories for empowerment, create a birthing necklace as a means of support during labor (we are all with you in spirit), and shared homemade things with the mama. We also have painted meditation stones, done henna on bellies, and sung songs/written in journals as means of support and inspiration.

By all means, get someone to work on one with you. This is the kind of experience that trancends the typical shower ettiquette, IMO.

Brightest blessings for your birth, mama!

Darcy mama to Dillon, Marah and Leo, partner to Jeremy
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