PG after TTC 12+ Months: Pilot Thread... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 109 Old 05-03-2008, 09:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey!!! Are you pregnant? Did it take longer than 12 months to get your BFP or sticky baby? Did you need a little "help" to get pregnant with IUI, IVF, Clomid, metformin, etc...? Well this is the thread for you! Women who have taken longer than the average bear to get pregnant!

I promised and I'm delivering. I know that we have a different experience than the mom who took a shorter time to get pregnant. I want to talk about them here. I know that we'll all go our different directions as far as birthing, care provider, just like we all did something different to get pregnant. I'd like to start with our stories:

Mine starts in July 2006 when DH and I decided that it would be a good idea to start ttc. We both thought that it would be easy. Well that's what you're told. In middle school and high school, you hear the horror story of it only taking one act of unprotected sex to get pregnant and it will ruin your life so take these pills, so you do and don't think about it until you ttc. Well I didn't take bcp's until right before my wedding and took them for 9 months, so I thought that things would be pretty simple; get off bcp's get pregnant, have baby. Not so.

I even charted from the very beginning and it just didn't work out. Fast forward 6 months and I was feeling really bummed. Then another 6 months I was at the 12 month mark and just about panic stricken. At month 14 I had an early miscarriage at about 5 weeks (had a very faint line BFP) and then we continued trying naturally with the help of Chinese medicine, acupuncture, chiropractic, healthy eating, lots of prayer, and in the end we read Walter Makichen's spirit babies and did the chants there. It all helped and now 22 months from the beginning, we're pregnant with our first little bean! We just got our BFP on May 1st (Beltane), and we couldn't be happier. The funny part was that DH had finally made an appointment with a urologist to get an SA done, but we don't need that anymore.

Anyway, I know that you all have your stories and I know that we would all like to hear them. Not just us to talk about how we're doing, what we're doing, and what we're bringing into our pregnancies, but also to give inspiration to those who are still in the trenches ttc and it's been a while and everybody around them is either pregnant or getting ready to have their baby. It's hard to see that happen and you really want it badly so I want for other women to know that there are some who have been there and triumphed.

So I'm passing this on to you!!! Please come with your stories, feelings, and experiences.

Thanks!

Kemi wifedreads.gif to Jeffdh_malesling.GIF mommy to Rohan h20homebirth.gifROTFLMAO.gif 1/3/09 and Narenhomebirth.jpg(transfer to hospital) blahblah.gif  10/22/10. Pregnant with stork-girl.gif

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#2 of 109 Old 05-03-2008, 11:25 PM
 
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Kemi, I think this is a good idea. I really don't need to join now since I've only got 25 or so days left but I do remember the odd feeling of not believing the pregnancy test after trying for so, so long. Hopefully you get lots of people here!

Mama to Aeden, : my little NICU grad and Conner and Liam () my precious twins. is due mid April!
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#3 of 109 Old 05-04-2008, 10:12 AM
 
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I wanted to jump in too. It took a long time for us to conceive this time (and the baby actually stick) but Kemi, I just wanted to add, I'm so so very happy for you and I can't wait to hear all the *things* that go on in your pregnancy!!!

Tenk ~ happily married with lots of kids

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#4 of 109 Old 05-04-2008, 11:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for responding! Well this morning I had my very first bout of morning sickness. I woke up and sat up and felt like my tummy was doing flip flops so I grabbed my cracker stash next to the bed and munched for a few minutes before getting up. DH brought in water for me and made my breakfast (a piece of whole wheat toast with peanutbutter and strawberry jam . We have a little stash of ginger tea and I had some of that as well to calm my stomach down, but I think I'm going to use my Eliminate Nausea Now CD that I purchased from Hypnobabies just for this moment.

As for when I found out I was pregnant, I don't think that I didn't believe it, it was just strange to me because I had been trying for so long. So I felt like I needed to let it sink in before I took a test. I knew something was up because I felt tired like I do when I have a cold, but just all day.

Kemi wifedreads.gif to Jeffdh_malesling.GIF mommy to Rohan h20homebirth.gifROTFLMAO.gif 1/3/09 and Narenhomebirth.jpg(transfer to hospital) blahblah.gif  10/22/10. Pregnant with stork-girl.gif

****5****10****15****20****25****30****353rdtri.gif***40 (Hospital BC w/CNMs due to GD)

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#5 of 109 Old 05-04-2008, 06:31 PM
 
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Kemi, great idea for a thread!

I'm a graduate from the TTC 12+ months thread. Hubby and I TTC for 2 years before we started with fertility treatments. (I put off the appointment at one year and then due to relocation and new insurance it took a while to get authorization to see an RE.) We did a couple rounds of Clomid and IUI. No luck. We decided to move to injectables and IUI since our insurance limits the number of IUI rounds that they'll cover. Our first round of Gonal-F worked and I'm 19 weeks pregnant now!

There are days that I still don't believe that I'm pregnant.

Mama to Blake, 5, and Grant, 3
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#6 of 109 Old 05-04-2008, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Allison! I love to hear these stories! Let's keep them coming!!!!

Kemi wifedreads.gif to Jeffdh_malesling.GIF mommy to Rohan h20homebirth.gifROTFLMAO.gif 1/3/09 and Narenhomebirth.jpg(transfer to hospital) blahblah.gif  10/22/10. Pregnant with stork-girl.gif

****5****10****15****20****25****30****353rdtri.gif***40 (Hospital BC w/CNMs due to GD)

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#7 of 109 Old 05-04-2008, 09:09 PM
 
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I'm almost done with this pregnancy, but I'll share my stories.

The best way to start is at the very beginning, when we conceived dd. I was 18, in college, had just met dh, and we had unprotected sex probably 3 times. We were using pull n pray during those times and I always say we didn't pray hard enough. Because of that, I never in a million years thought I'd have fertility problems.

We decided that we'd like to space our kids about 3 years apart. I was on bc pills for awhile right after having dd, and I made the grave mistake of doing 3 rounds of the depo shot. That's where things really went downhill. I gained a lot of weight and my cycles became irregular. However, I was still hopeful when we started ttc in May of 2002. As the months wore on, however, I became much less optimistic. I went to see an OB, who was a complete jerk and pretty much just said that I wasn't in early menopause (duh), I wasn't ovulating, and I needed to lose weight. Gee, thanks, jerk. I talked to my familiy doctor, who said that I have PCOS (based on the labs that the jerk took but didn't explain the results to me). She put me on Metformin. I took that for awhile. At one point I was also prescribed Clomid which I took for one cycle. In I think it was July of 2003, I had to have a d&c because I had the neverending period. After that, I was watching my cycles very closely. If I didn't have a peiod every 5 weeks, I was going to do progesterone withdrawal pills so I didn't have to go through a d&c again. I don't remember for sure, but I think in October I had a regular cycle. Then in the middle of December, it was time to make something happen. I called the doctor on December 12 after getting a bfn. I took a 10 day round of progesterone withdrawal pills. Nothing happened. On Christmas Eve morning, I got the best Christmas present ever. A very faint positive. I know for a fact that we conceived on December 11 (which is why I took the hpt on the 12th, I just had "that feeling") August 20th, I delivered our perfectly health, wonderful ds via VBAC.

I knew I wanted another baby, so I never went on any birth control after ds was born. We weren't trying NOT to get pregnant, but not actively ttc until March of 2006. I was charting before that and when I thought I *might* be ovulating, I was initiating a bit more. The first year really kind of flew by. I remember being on Metformin for part of it (I'm really bad at remembering pills and those made me sick). I did a few rounds of progesterone withdrawal to start periods, and I tried not to get discouraged. I did have a few very faint positives that were followed by very heavy bleeding. In April of 2007, I had a more than just faint positive. I thought we were finally done trying. But then I had the heaviest period with tons of clots. There's no real way to prove it, since I didn't go to the doctor for a preg test, but I'm pretty sure that was an early m/c. I went through a really hard time that month, emotionally and physically. I'm chronically anemic, and my iron count was dropping. In July, I had to have a d&c because I wouldn't stop bleeding. I also had to have a blood transfusion. I did a round of Clomid and was working with a new OB. Late in October, I had gone 5 weeks without a period, so I got a prescription for progesterone withdrawal (after a negative hpt). 10 days later, nothing had happened, so I took another hpt. It was a BFP! The test line was actually darker than the control line. I was very nervous and didn't intend to tell anyone but dh, but dd saw the test and read that 2 lines meant pregnant. She ended up telling my mom and dad, who at least kept it a secret until I could get in to the doctor for a blood test and then set up an u/s. I'm now 31 weeks.

I suspect that I have a couple problems. I definitely ovulate later in my cycle than is "normal". With both ds and this baby, I conceived approximately 4 weeks after af. I also think that I need progesterone to make the baby "stick". I think that it's possible that the egg was getting fertilized most months that I ovulated, but that my hormones are off and the egg never implanted. I'm going to use that information to hopefully make the next time not quite as long and daunting.

Speaking of long and daunting, sorry for the novel.

Tiffany, loving wife to Matt, Mommy to Samantha (10/99), Tevin (8/04), Cadence (6/08) and babymooning with our sweet little Lauren 6/24/10
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#8 of 109 Old 05-05-2008, 11:46 AM
 
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Well, I had my first post partum period back in November 2006. We easily got pg with ds#1 in one "oops" moment. I thought - cool, let's start trying again (ds was 18months). In April 2007 I was diagnosed with an ectopic pg. It was HORRIBLE. Luckily they caught it before my tube ruptured, so I ended up having a less invasive and less serious surgery to "remove" it. I never felt pg or connected to the baby at that point, but I was sure that the little spirit babe was going to come back and try again. Then, after the surgery my cycle got so wacky. I had two periods in one month over the summer and really freaked out. I started taking vitex in August and within one cycle I lifted out of a depression and my cycle normalized again. So, then I got pg again in November, but again with horrible pain in my side (I'll never know if it was another ectopic) and I miscarried at 5 weeks. So, it had been a full year at this point. I couldn't read the signs my body was giving me - I had cervical mucus my entire cycle. When was I ovulating??? My cycle went from 31 days to 38 days to 34. I went to see an ND who did a ton of blood tests. Everything came back normal. That made me feel both good and bad. What was going on with me? Finally, dh and I decided to put having baby #2 on the shelf. I was feeling so sick of worrying about it. I just wanted to enjoy my family as it was and move on. So, the next month I got pg - of course Other stressors had recently been removed from my life too - we bought a new house and finally decided where we wanted to live. That was a huge relief off of my shoulders. Its like all the pieces came together at the same time. But, seriously, as soon as I decided to stop worrying about it and move on - BAM!

So, I am currently 7 weeks pg - and really FEELING pregnant this time! Yahoo! I will probably go get an ultrasound this week to cofirm its not another ectopic, but I am optimistic with no symptoms of pain or bleeding.

I also am happy (in retrospect) that it took so long because ds is sleeping thru the night and barely nursing anymore. I feel like he got his "baby" time and is ready for his transition to big brother now. Its making these first weeks of pregnancy much easier for me.

I do wonder, "why me?" Why did I have to go thru all of that? I hope that I will find some understanding one day.
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#9 of 109 Old 05-06-2008, 11:24 PM
 
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Its good to see so many here!

I have had a long and twisty journey like many of you. I got pregnant the first time right after I got off bc pills, then miscarried at 10 weeks. I was hemmoraging, so ended up in the ER where they did a d&c without anesthetic. (Don't ever do that!) Anyway, we started trying soon after, and I got pregnant in 4-5 cycles and had my dd, who is now almost 7. After her, we weren't trying and weren't preventing, and I didn't even have a period before getting pregnant. That was by far my easiest pregnancy, and my dd was here, healthy and happy 20 months after her sister.

I had wicked ppd after her birth, and with two babies that close together, I swore it was going to be a long time before I did that again. I got an iud at 8 weeks, and didn't look back.

By the time my youngest was about 3, we decided it was time to start ttc again. I got the iud out and thought I would be pregnant right away. We tried for a few months, then I started charting. Just as we almost hit the year mark from when I got the iud, I got pregnant. I was so excited, and so so sick. I thought for sure that was a good sign. I ended up miscarrying at 13 weeks- it was a blighted ovem that wouldn't let go.

I was determined that we were going to get pregnant again right away. I had fantasies of calling my mw back before I even had a period again. Nope. I charted for a few months. Nope. Then my cycles started spacing out- 40 day, 45 days, 50 days, and I wasn't even showing clear signs of ovulating. Drs have been montioning pcos to me for years, and no one has ever done anything about it, so I finally got up the guts to go see an RE. He rolls his eyes at me, dismisses the pcos thought, and writes me a rx for clomid. I don't ovulate the 1st cycle. He ups my dose of clomid. I don't ovulate on that dose either. At this point, they start talking more about pcos, but don't want to prescribe metformin or do anything else until I've had 4 failed cycles of clomid. So I started with a new RE. He wrote the rx for metformin, and upped my clomid again. By this time I was at the end of my rope, emotionally and financially. They were talking about injectables, and I was losing my mind. I had completely given up, and poas just to prove to myself that it was over.

I'm 12 weeks today, and although things were touch and go at the beginning, all looks good now. We even heard a heartbeat on Friday, which did a lot to set my mind at ease. I've announced it to just about everyone, and am feeling confident about a "take home" baby. But just to be certain, I will breathe a big sigh of relief when I pass 13 weeks next week!

Whew. I guess I really wanted to talk! Take care everyone!

Violin teaching, doula-ing Mom to Abby, (8) Ashlynn, (6) : and Max (11/13/08) Diagnosed with Metopic Craniosynostosis. First surgery 5/1/09, Second surgery March 2010.
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#10 of 109 Old 05-28-2008, 07:57 PM
 
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Just bumping this in the hopes that there are more success stories from mamas who struggled. I could use a little hope today.

Proud Mama to Liam Greenleaf 5/31/10
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#11 of 109 Old 05-28-2008, 11:42 PM
 
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I TTC'd for what felt like forever... month after month and no BFP to show for it. Went off BCP in Sept 03, didn't get pg until Nov 05.

A friend convinced me to chart, which at least proved I had a normal looking, though long (40+ days), cycle on paper. Took a few months worth to the doctor who asked for a semenalysis from DH. She gave us the cup and said come back in a month...

Sure enough, that's the month it finally took. Dr was amazed but said she'd seen stranger things happen Officially chalked it up to 'delayed fertility'.

Digging further into the reproductive history of both sides of my family, I see now that some difficulty was in the cards genetically from the start.

#2 is on the way, it took two months of trying after being off the pill and TTA for previous 10 months. Very happy it took 2 months the second time instead of two years. =)
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#12 of 109 Old 05-29-2008, 12:29 AM
 
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This pregnancy doesn't fit into this category but my last pregnancy did, with DD2. We tried for 17 months, and lost one baby along the way.

TTC for so long really is such a difficult thing. ***HUGS*** to all and many happy baby wishes for all your lovely "sticky" babies
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#13 of 109 Old 05-29-2008, 02:11 AM
 
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: Thanks for sharing. I'm having a low spell here.
Hope you all have wonderful pregancies. You certainly deserve it.

Proud Mama to Liam Greenleaf 5/31/10
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#14 of 109 Old 05-29-2008, 03:23 AM
 
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*hugs*!
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#15 of 109 Old 05-29-2008, 10:43 AM
 
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I'll join in although we didn't have any fertility work done--we were waiting until our health insurance kicked in, but then, um, I got a BFP and am now 6 weeks. But it's been a long road.

We decided when we were planning our wedding that we wanted to go ahead and start TTC as I was older than he was and, well, we'd been together a long time and had not always been very consistent with our birth control but had never had a pg scare. So about 6 months before the wedding, we start for real but nothing happens until, of all things, our honeymoon. I get a BFP a few weeks after we get back, yay!

When DS is 18 months, AF comes back, so we start again. Month after month goes by...we make a plan to visit a specialist after we get insurance, but suddenly, after feeling sick for a while, my DH suggests I POAS. I stuff tampons in my purse on the way to get the test because the last year and a half have taught me that any time I think I might be pg, I will get my period in the next hour. I bitch about how I'm setting myself up for failure again, how the universe is taunting me, how I want to get this over with so I can decide I have a cold or the flu or something, and then I get a second line, the first positive test in the past 18 months.

It's been a few weeks and I've even seen the sac on the u/s, but it still hasn't sunk in. I'm not as sick as I was last time, so I don't even feel pg, even though I can't wear any of my regular pants. I'm hoping that seeing the heart beat in a few weeks will help me relax about the whole thing.
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#16 of 109 Old 05-29-2008, 12:24 PM
 
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Us too! 31 cycles of trying. I started charting on the very first cycle so I knew when I was ovulating and it was pretty regular. In the 30 failed cycles, I think we only had one that wasn't "good" timing. He had a great SA. I went to acupuncture for over a year. I tried prometrium suppositories after O for about 7-8 cycles in the middle. I changed my diet. We tried a few IUIs at home using spun semen, but my dh's technique might not have been great. I started to see an RE and did get an HSG. Then, on cycle 31 I took 50 mg Clomid and we had a midwife come over and do an IUI. The IUI was the day after my temp rise... but it worked! It was shocking, and it took... is still taking time to sink in. We are now 27 weeks.

Thanks for the thread, Kemi! I was always looking for success stories that looked like my situation when we were trying. Hours of looking.
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#17 of 109 Old 05-29-2008, 02:24 PM
 
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Noticed this thread was bumped so I thought I'd update.

My ultrasound revealed that there's a little boy growing in there. Best of all, he looked healthy and was measuring right on target.

He's a busy little guy these days, moving and kicking at least once if not multiple times a day. I love it when I catch a movement with my hand on my belly - seems more real that way somehow.

Mama to Blake, 5, and Grant, 3
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#18 of 109 Old 05-29-2008, 06:00 PM
 
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In 2002, we conceived our daughter on the 2nd month trying, and then, when she was 3, we conceived again the first time trying for #2. 12 weeks later we miscarried that little one (hemorrhaged, needed blood transfusion, the works). It took 18 months to conceive again--I did acupuncture, found out I had a thyroid issue and sorted that out, and started Clomid (and Prometrium) in that time. This little bean stuck on the third cycle of Clomid, and I'm now 10.5 weeks.

It was such a long haul--my partner is a woman, and so we were using a sperm donor (friend) who lives on the other side of the country, so it was full of logistical difficulties and expense (x-country flights, we tried freezing and banking his sperm and IUIs for a while, more x-country flights). Not to mention heartbreak, of course.

One good thing--even though it's been nervewracking, all that time trying has made this first trimester seem to go faster than either of my other two pregnancies--I think those months and months put these weeks into a different perspective for me.
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#19 of 109 Old 05-29-2008, 06:56 PM
 
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Jennifer : don't give up hope. I was just reading in your siggy that you're dealing with Clomid-induced cysts. I had those this past September. They were HUGE and really painful. The OB said that on the 100mg she put me on (I have no idea why she put me on a double dose my first month, but I've since switched from her because most of her actions are quite questionable) caused me to ovulate twice and they were both cysts. Lovely. But the very next month, right after my u/s to check and make sure the cysts were gone, I got pregnant.

Tiffany, loving wife to Matt, Mommy to Samantha (10/99), Tevin (8/04), Cadence (6/08) and babymooning with our sweet little Lauren 6/24/10
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#20 of 109 Old 06-06-2008, 09:39 PM
 
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So excited to see so many ladies from the 12+ threads w/ success stories.

Kemi you totally rock, btw.

~T | head-strong ap mama to 2 fur-kids | TTC since 2001 | remembering angel2.gif 8/00, angel1.gif 5/04, angel1.gif 1/07 & fur-kids, Apollo (04/03-12/09) & Bella (04/06-06/12)
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#21 of 109 Old 06-20-2008, 01:43 AM
 
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I'm so glad I found this thread! Hi again ladies! I'm tentatively here...

DH and I have been trying since 9/06. I was charting CM for about 8 months, then I went out and bought a saliva microscope. That wasn't helping so I added OPK's to the mix. Then still nothing and so I finally went to see my doctor. She recommended I purchase the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor so I used that and had also started temping too. I went to the mandatory class before being seen for infertility and found out that my insurance plan did NOT cover anything!!

I think we concieved this cycle but I am so anxious and nervous! I had some light bleeding last night and been feeling crampy off and on today. I'd really like to stay here!!!
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#22 of 109 Old 06-20-2008, 12:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey!!! I have returned to the planet! This first trimester was a doozey! I started out with m/s like all day every day, followed by lots of fatigue. Then 3 weeks ago I had a serious rash that lasted like two weeks on my arms, legs, neck, and parts of my face. That has since stopped pretty much. Did I mention that the rash itched like crazy? I still have itchy moments but not nearly as much as I did a week ago. My skin looked like it has been tenderized! Yuck! Now I'm hungry all the time : and have crazy pregnancy acne on my face! Yay! (I'm being so sarcastic now.) On a brighter side, I'm starting to feel a lot better and have a lot less m/s. I think it's pretty much over now. I'm still tired here and there, but I go out for walks daily to get my blood pumping. I'm also starting to get a little bump down there. Well I have a little bump up top too from my organs shifting around (no one tells you about that!) so I have a very strange double bump sort of thing. I'm wearing my elastapants (aka preggo pants) now and have started wearing maternity tops too for comfort (my breasts are huge!!!).

Anyways, I wanted to thank those who have tried to keep this thread alive. Congratulations to kssinca! I hope you have a very sticky baby. As for the light bleeding, I had some too after DTD with DH in the beginning. I called my midwife and she recommended taking progesterone cream to help with the implantation. Just take it easy and know that a little light bleeding is normal since you are still so early and you haven't missed your period yet. I just wouldn't be out there running a triathalon or anything. All the best!!!

Kemi wifedreads.gif to Jeffdh_malesling.GIF mommy to Rohan h20homebirth.gifROTFLMAO.gif 1/3/09 and Narenhomebirth.jpg(transfer to hospital) blahblah.gif  10/22/10. Pregnant with stork-girl.gif

****5****10****15****20****25****30****353rdtri.gif***40 (Hospital BC w/CNMs due to GD)

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#23 of 109 Old 06-20-2008, 02:07 PM
 
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I posted my story about a month ago in the TTC folder. But I also put it on my blog...

http://lisaispreggers.blogspot.com/2...blog-post.html

I too did not believe the test at first. Even though I had a blood test to back it up too. I left the test out on the counter of our guest room for several days so I could keep going in there and looking at it. We weren't telling many people yet... but a friend came over to our house and I forgot about the test and that's how he found out. It was really funny.

And now I'm almost 28 weeks pregnant. I've had HG the whole time and definitely lots of moments (even just last night) where I'm like, "Why did I want this?" It's good to read the story again and remember. It's also good to read all of your stories too and remember how much people go through to get here because still puking at 28 weeks is NOT fun.
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#24 of 109 Old 06-20-2008, 02:10 PM
 
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Thanks kemi!!!

I actually have a dr appointment today! I was so worried about the bleeding and cramping I called the advice nurse and they were able to set up an appointment for me today. I'm not bleeding anymore but I am still crampy. I feel a little bit silly because the bleeding is gone,

I feel bad because I have been avoiding talking my friends and family since Wednesday. I soooo WANT to tell them but because it's still early, I don't want to share either. I'm private IRL and only 1 person knows that DH and I have been trying for almost 2+ years. But I am also horrible at keeping happy secrets! I've already decided that if things are still ok by July 5th, then we'll tell my parents the next day since it's my dad's birthday.

I know there isn't much right now, just a bunch of cells forming but I have been searching the internet for every scrap of information I can find! And I've been trying to fiddle with the dates to see which way makes me "more pregnant". Silly, I know but I am so anxious and cautiously happy!!
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#25 of 109 Old 06-24-2008, 07:11 PM
 
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Hi Everyone,

I am joining you here (I am tempted to add "for now," but I'm trying to push those thoughts aside)!

I took two pregnancy tests this morning...and two this afternoon. All "very" positive - no vagueness about it.

We'd been trying since last April, and were far from vigilant with birth control prior to that. Since December, I'd been nearly convinced this day would never come for me. And now...it has...and I don't know how to feel or what to do.

I have never been pregnant before and I don't feel pregnant *now*. I keep telling myself it's only because it's so early (and it is early - 15 DPO!), but I'm still so scared. I'm so scared this isn't real or that it will end. I did have the tiniest bit of pink on my TP this afternoon, so now of course I'm thinking "ah, chemical" and "it figures," but i've also been poking the heck out of my cervix in recent days, trying to figure out what's going on in there, so it could just be that. It is very high, which I suppose might be a good sign.

(And then I find myself trying to convince myself that it's ectopic, and the reason it took us so long to conceive was because I have partially obstructed tubes and the "baby" is now stuck there. And every little twinge left or right of center scares me and I read somewhere that ectopic pregnancies produce more HCG so now I am scared that the reason my HPTs were SO dark is because it's ectopic.)

I went and bought some pre-natals, even though I have regular vitamins and extra Bs here at home, and I only bought a very small bottle, since I don't want to have a big bottle leftover if this doesn't pan out (yes, I know I can take them even if I'm not pregnant, but it would just *remind* me of today, I'm sure).

I'm afraid to join a due date club or anything like that.

I want to be happy, but I'm mostly just very, very scared.

SAH dissertating mama femalesling.GIF to my sweet little boy (2/2009)
and his rainbow1284.gif baby brother (7/2011)
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#26 of 109 Old 06-25-2008, 02:49 AM
 
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We tried for just over 6 years. For the first couple we were just "seeing what happens". Then I started getting more focussed on it but was convinced my weight & depression were the problem.

It took just over 5 years for me get up the gumption to see my doctor about my fertility - I was terrified I would just be told to go lose weight (which I was painfully aware of). When I showed her my chart (two years worth, off & on temperatures, notes on all sorts of details) she sent me for ultrasounds & full blood work up & we found I have pcos.

I started on metformin right away. Upped the dose 6 months later. At the same time I seemed to finally find an appropriate medication mix to keep my depression under control & managed to lose 70lbs through a whole lot of hard exercise.

January 2008 I start clomid. First month took. I personally believe the clomid was not so much the solution but that my body was on it's way to creating better cycles (the last couple had been better) & with the help of ultrasounds we knew exactly when I ovulated. DH & I spent most of last fall in different countries.

Taffinoodle - I took the depo shot as well when I was younger, along with numerous other bcp's. I personally feel that they really were a catalyst in my pcos. I've read that progesterone only is NOT recommended for pcos. At the very least it couldn't have helped.

It seems so unfair that not only do we suffer while trying we then cannot even enjoy our pregnancies 'cause we're so sure it's too good to be true. I have to admit I fully expected to have difficulties & the fact that it's been picture perfect (so far) it's just soooo strange to me.

On that topic, I had one friend tell me I couldn't complain (I was not enjoying morning sickness) 'cause I'd been wanting this for so long. What? So 'cause I waited for a long time to get pregnant I'm not allowed to not enjoy parts of my pregnancy? Nice.

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#27 of 109 Old 06-25-2008, 12:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post
On that topic, I had one friend tell me I couldn't complain (I was not enjoying morning sickness) 'cause I'd been wanting this for so long. What? So 'cause I waited for a long time to get pregnant I'm not allowed to not enjoy parts of my pregnancy? Nice.
I had no friends telling me this, but I definitely felt that way. I've had HG and there are many days when I just feel overwhelmed by all the puking and never feeling very good. Its so weird to have wanted something so bad (a baby) and then when you have it you are really miserable but happy but scared all at the same time. Anyway, you are allowed to complain and so am I. Sometimes it is just really cathartic for me to scream out, "I can't do this anymore," even though I would never dream of doing anything to myself or this baby.
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#28 of 109 Old 06-25-2008, 02:50 PM
 
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I'm afraid to join a due date club or anything like that.

I want to be happy, but I'm mostly just very, very scared.
Hello puffnstuff! I'm glad you're here! I totally understand the fear and nervousness. I got the results of my bloodwork on Monday and so far, still pregnant! I've been trying to live my life as I normally do but I'm afraid I've been dreaming this or just been mistaken. Right now, it really hurts to bring my right leg up to my chest or to even raise it so I can get into a car and my right lower back hurts. And my temperature is still above the coverline but it dropped a couple of degrees. I have an appointment on July 3rd but I am worried that it is still too soon to see anything.

I don't have any real symptoms. Well I felt very tired yesterday afternoon but then again, I was cleaning and took a walk in the sun and the sun always makes me tired. I did fall asleep "early" but that was 10:30pm. MY nipples aren't sensitive. The only thing I DO feel is fat and bloated and I don't think that's because I"m pregnant.

But at the same time that I feel anxious, I also feel like, what??? I"m pregnant?!? How'd that happen?!?! I'm not ready yet! My baby is very much wanted and very much loved but I still feel like, wait!! Let me get the house/body/finances/everything in better shape! sigh...
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#29 of 109 Old 06-25-2008, 03:38 PM
 
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But at the same time that I feel anxious, I also feel like, what??? I"m pregnant?!? How'd that happen?!?! I'm not ready yet! My baby is very much wanted and very much loved but I still feel like, wait!! Let me get the house/body/finances/everything in better shape! sigh...
I feel this way, too. I also had been telling myself for months now that this *wasn't* ever going to happen, and apparently some of it sunk in. I worked very hard on "moving on" and not planning my life around the off chance that I might get pregnant, that I now feel a tiny bit frustrated as I actually HAD started to make plans around *not* getting pregnant and now I need to go back and change those. It's ridiculous because, as you said, this is something I want so strongly. I'm not complaining at all. It's just hard to change one's mindset so quickly.

SAH dissertating mama femalesling.GIF to my sweet little boy (2/2009)
and his rainbow1284.gif baby brother (7/2011)
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#30 of 109 Old 06-25-2008, 04:20 PM
 
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I feel this way, too. I also had been telling myself for months now that this *wasn't* ever going to happen, and apparently some of it sunk in. I worked very hard on "moving on" and not planning my life around the off chance that I might get pregnant, that I now feel a tiny bit frustrated as I actually HAD started to make plans around *not* getting pregnant and now I need to go back and change those. It's ridiculous because, as you said, this is something I want so strongly. I'm not complaining at all. It's just hard to change one's mindset so quickly.
I totally get this. I had given away every scrap of clothing that was even the tiniest too big - some of which would have made really nice pregnancy wear. I had started getting into powerlifting & found it sooooo disappointing to back off on my workouts.

DH & I almost daily have to vocally remind ourselves we're having a baby - even though physically it's getting more & more obvious.

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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