Is there a pregnant over 40 thread? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 328 Old 05-21-2008, 09:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ooh so true I.O.

Welcome Mommysaurus, love your user name. That's quite a family!
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#62 of 328 Old 05-21-2008, 11:45 PM
 
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i just hit 40 last month and am having #4 in October. i am stoked..i feel like i have finally been able to relax and be in tune w/ my body...we are going to have a wonderful home birth and my MW is absolutely wonderful. my other boys are 17, 10 and 2.
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#63 of 328 Old 05-22-2008, 12:34 PM
 
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Yesterday I stumbled on something that really made me mad. The writer William Saletan on the on-line zine Slate had an article about why certain sexual taboos such as incest are increasingly being less supportable (that is, the argument against them has less scientific support) and then went on to explain that the scientific argument against incest is that it increases the risk of having babies with serious chromosomal defects. He added that he was talking about incest between cousins marrying and having children--and when I hear the word incest I think of siblings or parents/offspring, not cousins, and in fact it doesn't particularly bother me personally that cousins marry, in some cultures it's quite common. But that's a digression. What made me mad is that he made the parallel that women in their 40s have babies and the risk of chromosomal defects is as high if not higher, than with first cousins' babies, and so shouldn't we have a taboo against women in their 40s having babies. But he didn't just say why not lift the taboo against cousins marrying, but that perhaps we should prevent or discourage women in their 40s from having babies, and implied that such women were being selfish and courting having children with Down's syndrome. It could be that this is how I interpreted it. I can't provide the link but if you go to Slatecom it'll be in there under the Health and Science sections.
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#64 of 328 Old 05-22-2008, 07:37 PM
 
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I didn't read it as discouraging older women from having kids, but just making the comparison to show that first cousin marriages aren't (from a genetic point of view) a big deal, and therefore, should be legal.

And their not, really. They're also legal in a lot of states. As he points out, Rudy Giuliani was married to his first cousin.

We don't generally force people to check their genes before they marry; two CF carriers are allowed to marry and have kids, for instance, and they have a 1 in 4 chance of having a child with a fatal disease. (I'm a CF carrier!) Same for Tay-Sachs, etc.
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#65 of 328 Old 05-22-2008, 08:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome Passionatewriter!
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#66 of 328 Old 05-22-2008, 09:13 PM
 
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thanks!

yeh the whole AMA gets me riled up alot! our "risk" is no greater than the other age groups all things considered (the only study that i have found about it was over 30 years old..not exactly up to date).
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#67 of 328 Old 05-23-2008, 08:21 PM
 
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Last night my 4 yr old decided his baby brother must be hungry so he was feeding him grapes through my navel. I was so funny I almost peed my pants. Every time Nathan would look away I would snatch the grape and he would get so excited that "baby Jack" was reaching up and getting the grapes. I probably ate 10 grapes. DH was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

This is such a fun pregnancy

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#68 of 328 Old 05-23-2008, 08:55 PM
 
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what a cute story!!! ds has been making me nurse his dolls and stuffed animals lately. im so glad he's willing to share!
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#69 of 328 Old 05-23-2008, 09:06 PM
 
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Nathan asks every day if Im going to "milk the baby on my boobies"

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#70 of 328 Old 05-27-2008, 11:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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that's so cute. How is everyone today?
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#71 of 328 Old 05-27-2008, 12:00 PM
 
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i am great, other than a lot of pain from my sciatic nerve. i go back to the chrio today. its soo fraking annoying bc the weather is great and i have energy now but every time i walk, its painful.

i hope hte pool warms up alot this week so we can spend some time in there..i think that will help alot.
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#72 of 328 Old 05-27-2008, 12:17 PM
 
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Hi everyone! I've recently learned that I'm pregnant. I turned 40 in December, and this new child will be born shortly after I turn 41! We haven't told anyone we're pregnant yet - not even our daughter because she'd tell everyone else.
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#73 of 328 Old 05-27-2008, 12:39 PM
 
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welcome jempd passionatewriter and mommysaurus!
my nt was 1.8 which was...okay. i am still waiting on the final result which will give me my risk of down syndrome. for age 40 it is around 1 in 50 (or2%) in general.
two of my friends have had children with Down syndrome one diagnosed antenatally and one after birth and have done so well with it. there is a very supportive Down syndrome association here as well. so it is more of an issue for me and my husband's relationship than in general for me.
ugh the maternity clothes are definitely too young for me in general!
one thing that has been nice is not sweating the small stuff. i have no interest in getting all the latest baby stuff especially knowing how quickly they outgrow it! also, i know this baby's older siblings will steal and destroy anything new way before he is old enough to play with it!
hope everyone had a great holiday weekend! we had beautiful weather yesterday and cooked on the grill.
Angela
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#74 of 328 Old 05-27-2008, 03:54 PM
 
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Hello to all:

I'm so happy to find this thread....I looked for an "over 40" thread several months ago and never did find one.

So, I'm pregnant--barely!--and just trying to stay positive and frankly not overinvested in the outcome. I have 2.75yr old still nursing b/g twins who were born 2 days before I turned 40. I was on the fence about whether I wanted more, and then when DH and I finally discussed it, we got pregnant first month we tried. Sadly, that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 8 weeks (we saw a heartbeat but it was too low and was gone the following week). We were on the fence for a couple of months about whether we would try again but finally decided to go for it. When this baby comes, I'll be 43.5 and my kids will be 3.5 so hopefully that will be manageable.

I also had three losses before my twins--who were a spontaneous surprise--due to a blood clotting disorder that I have. I treat it during pregnancy with a shot of a form of heparin every day.

Anyway, I'll probably have my first ultrasound in a few weeks and then we will see what's going on. I have some fantasies/fears of having twins again. On the one hand, I would LOVE it and on the other hand, it might just destroy me. My two literally JUST started both sleeping 9 hrs in a row a few weeks ago. I spent probably 1.5 years being up every two hours with one or both and then my daughter would sleep better but my son wouldn't.....even on good nights I was still up 3 times between the two of them and then I started having difficulty falling back to sleep and was frequently the only one in the house awake for hours.

You can tell I'm still essentially in the grip of sleep deprivation since most of what I can think about related to a new baby is SLEEP!

Anyway, we'll definitely do the nuchal and maybe the quad. I'm a little fearful of anything invasive since I have to stop taking the blood thinner for 24 hrs to get the amnio...although there shouldn't really be a problem.

It's great to see so many people with spaced out babies. I'm definitely in the club of met and married later....I was almost 37 when we married and then I didn't know I would have three losses in a row and a blood issue. The months and years add up and all of a sudden I'm (way!) over 40 and still building our family.

All the best to everyone.

Ninafel

42
twin b/g 2.75 yr. olds
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#75 of 328 Old 05-27-2008, 09:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome to Mamazee and Ninafel!

Angela I'm sorry the answer wasn't more definite but it sounds like you've got a good attitude about it. Its hard to interpret those "iffy" responses.

I'm worried about my own attitude about it...our scan is next week and I'm really worried about not getting a definitive "everything is fine" I just don't know if we can handle either another extremly worried pregnancy OR the ramifications of making any kind of decision. I wish I could be stronger about it.
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#76 of 328 Old 05-28-2008, 04:53 PM
 
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ninafel.... hmmm just a few weeks ago your twins finally let you get some sleep... then you finally had enough energy to have sex and ovulate and got pg! at least, that is how i think i got pg with my son (got pg twice in row after she started sleeping predictably at about a yr old). just kidding... but i think sleep deprivation for me is such a huge issue.. and only gets harder as i get older. i say this as a physician (not currently working) who used to stay up all night taking care of patients! without a problem! ugh i hate waking up between the hours of 2 and 4 am. no matter how many hours i get missing those hours makes me feel i haven't slept at all!i will keep my fingers crossed for you that this pg is a keeper.
despite the holiday weekend my labs came back....it is good news! my age related risk of down was 1 in 77; with the nt and bloodwork it is 1 in 576. for trisomy 13 and 18 age related is 1 in 100; now mine is 1 in 3000. so no amnio for me. i can live with a 1 in 500 chance without stressing too much. if lightning strikes i will deal with it; like i said there is incredible support here where i live for Down syndrome families it is truly wonderful.
oh- and i am pretty sure this is a boy. i know it is early at 13 weeks but my husband was fairly sure it was boy parts. i am happy either way. (dh is maternal fetal medicine dr).
avivaelona - i will be thinking of you next week. after my last pregnancy ended so badly i know nothing is guaranteed in life but it is still reassuring to have everything look okay. i am sure your scan will be great!
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#77 of 328 Old 05-28-2008, 08:22 PM
 
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Hello,I am pregnant with my 3rd around the end of sept, or 1st of oct.I will be 41 sept.5th.The funny thing is I'm not supposed to even be able to conceive,(I got pregnant at 34 with my 5 yr old son while not even having cycles,and found out when I was pregnant with my 2yr old girl at 38 that the drs told my parents when I was born that i was not fully formed and would always be sickly and never be able to have children,now all I have to do is stop breast feeding,have a few periods and I get pregnant,AND we were taking precautions!)And to top it all off we just found out my 22 yr old step-daughter and her husband are due around Christmas!
By the way,any of you in the Atlanta area?We moved here about 2 months ago,so quickly in fact that we didn't have time to get another car.(My DH had a company vehicle with his last job.)So I find myself pregnant ,in a strange town with a 5 yr old,2 yr old, and no car!
I know that may seem strange to some but it's not just that the move was expensive but while my DH is in training he's working till 9:00 every night and it's hard to find time to even look for a car.
Our insurance kicks in in a few days,and while I would absolutely love a homebirth i doubt they will be interested in covering it.I don't plan on having any tests because sooo many women have told me about false positives that made their pregnancy miserable only to have a perfectly normal baby.
I am glad to find older moms like me,because even tho no one knows I'm even close to 40 ( if i could keep my mouth shut!)I still have the life experiences of someone older and it makes me feel out of place with the younger moms sometimes.
I have developed some varicose veins in my upper rt leg but I blame that on myself for spending too much time at the computer looking up pregnancy and childbirth resources.
This is my 1st post,(sorry it's so long)and i don't know how to make it look the way I want it to.


Felise
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#78 of 328 Old 05-28-2008, 10:19 PM
 
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welcome Dizzy! im pretty much the same..no tests for us (we did do one quick u/s to rule out twins about a month ago but nothing else for this preg.....i had so many tests for my pregnancy when i was 38 and it just stressed me out soooo much...told me he had a high chance of having DS, etc. etc. etc.).

welcome to the club!
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#79 of 328 Old 05-29-2008, 02:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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(dh is maternal fetal medicine dr).
Ok seriously that would be kind of cool. Can I borrow your husband for the duration of my pg? Where do you live Angela?

Welcome Dizzy! (aka Felise)

Went to see the endocrinologist today. Eh. Everything is ok, she wants more keeping on top of things than I really want to bother with, but whatever. She is so convinced I'm going to need insulin its really annoying. Maybe I will but I'd rather have her not be so convinced you know? And I'm not really sure about the value of insulin therapy unless its clearly totally out of control...not just for some slightly high numbers. My last baby GD was controlled with Metformin, and diet, and he was a very normal size.
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#80 of 328 Old 05-29-2008, 03:39 PM
 
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I think everyone here has a child already but how is this pregnancy rating in comparison to your others? This one has been my easiest so far. One evening of feeling queezy and one day of heartburn.

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#81 of 328 Old 06-02-2008, 08:22 PM
 
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Hi everyone - so happy to find this thread. I'm 40, 7 weeks along with my 4th, and am still in a state of half-shock about it, though I've known for a few weeks now. It's such a fluke that we conceived - with our youngest, who is 5, it took us nearly a year, and this one was absolutely unexpected (and a warning for me not to rely on fertility-observation in the future...) I'm still reeling from the surprise of it all. My dh is thrilled, but I'm a bit less-than.

In the bigger picture, I know an addition to the family will be wonderful - it will be a very, very well-loved little one. In the smaller, more nagging, worrisome picture, I just don't know how I will balance work and baby and an already too-demanding life. We accumulated a gruesome amount of debt when I stayed at home with the other kids (credit cards subsidized my SAHM-ness) and I just started work in the fall, once my youngest started school, to try to turn the corner a bit, financially. This news comes as such a challenge to an already maxed out situation. I'm trying not to let this stress dominate too much, but it really has.

I hate to have my introduction to this thread be with so much whining, but the anxiety is really quite something, despite my best efforts. Any help from other mamas to help redirect this fretful brain of mine would be much appreciated!

Opally
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#82 of 328 Old 06-02-2008, 10:54 PM
 
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Hi everyone - so happy to find this thread. I'm 40, 7 weeks along with my 4th, and am still in a state of half-shock about it, though I've known for a few weeks now. It's such a fluke that we conceived - with our youngest, who is 5, it took us nearly a year, and this one was absolutely unexpected (and a warning for me not to rely on fertility-observation in the future...) I'm still reeling from the surprise of it all. My dh is thrilled, but I'm a bit less-than.

In the bigger picture, I know an addition to the family will be wonderful - it will be a very, very well-loved little one. In the smaller, more nagging, worrisome picture, I just don't know how I will balance work and baby and an already too-demanding life. We accumulated a gruesome amount of debt when I stayed at home with the other kids (credit cards subsidized my SAHM-ness) and I just started work in the fall, once my youngest started school, to try to turn the corner a bit, financially. This news comes as such a challenge to an already maxed out situation. I'm trying not to let this stress dominate too much, but it really has.

I hate to have my introduction to this thread be with so much whining, but the anxiety is really quite something, despite my best efforts. Any help from other mamas to help redirect this fretful brain of mine would be much appreciated!

Opally
Welcome to the thread.

Im 41 and this is my 4th boy and he is a ( welcomed) but BIG suprise. It took me 5 hpt and 2 hcgs to believe I was actually pregnant. I share your shock

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#83 of 328 Old 06-03-2008, 03:56 AM
 
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Hi Mammas!

I just found out that I am pregnant with baby number two earlier this evening, I'm 42, dh is 48, and let me just say, that I am freaking out! I too have been home for the past five years and am scheduled to start an internship and residency
( sp?, it's 2:45 am) at a hospital in September as a Lactation Consultant!

I am planning on taking my exam next summer, my daughter is going to kindergarten this fall and I was just seeing some light at he end of the tunnel. Not just financially but intellectually. I've been so focused on her for five years, I was looking forward to pursuing my new career. Do you think the hospital will let me start?

I was a working artist before my daughter and I will always make art but I have wanted to be a Lactation Consultant for years now. I guess I should feel more grateful as I read about all these women having such a hard time conceiving and my husband and I just blinked at each other like a couple of irresponsible teenagers. We never use bc, I just took for granted that I was older and my body wasn't up for it, but I am totally regular w/ no peri-menapausel symptoms.....WTF?!

Please mommies, any words of wisdom?
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#84 of 328 Old 06-03-2008, 07:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome Lisa and Opally. I don't have any words of wisdom but I know what you are feeling. This baby was sort of planned (we were planning to have one, and planned to start trying in a few months when the timing was a bit better and got a surprise) and so I knew I was getting into this, but even still the "light at the end of the tunnel" feeling was strong and I'm not so eager about plunging back into it. I keep saying "I want a seven year old and a three year old, so I have to go through this part to get there" But I'm not sure how I feel about the next three years of mayhem and babycare. I think being a bit older does impact on this a little...I do think if I were 25 it would be no problem putting my intellectual life or career on hold for a few more years, but I'm feeling a bit like by the time I am ready to go back to career concerns I'll be close to retirement! (ok that is an exaggeration of course, but the feeling is there)

My Fetal Nuchal Translucency Scan is today, so I'm very nervous and sleepless. Send good thoughts, I want a clear negative!
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#85 of 328 Old 06-03-2008, 08:13 AM
 
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janesmommy, if they have offered you the position they cant retract due to your pregnancy.

i guess im so opposite...in my early 20 and 30's i was so focused on college and my career...this is a much more relaxed part of my life. I love the little kid stage (I have a teenager also, so have that chaos to compare it to! lol!).
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#86 of 328 Old 06-03-2008, 08:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by avivaelona View Post

My Fetal Nuchal Translucency Scan is today, so I'm very nervous and sleepless. Send good thoughts, I want a clear negative!


Good luck. Mine took a FULL hour. Dont eat anything with sugars in it or the baby moves all over and its hard to get a good picture. It was really neat to see the little one for that long.

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#87 of 328 Old 06-03-2008, 08:28 AM
 
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Hi again--

Avivaelona, I guess it's been a while since I did this but what is a Fetal Nuchal Translucency Scan? When I was pregnant w/ dd I had an amnio cause the CVS test was too painful. Now I'm not sure what I might think of as far as "old person testing".

Another question....
So even though it's an internship, not a paid position, they have to let me attend? After thinking about it all night I think it would be cool for new moms to have a LC in the hospital who is preggers. Any thoughts?
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#88 of 328 Old 06-03-2008, 08:36 AM
 
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janesmommy- the Nuchal scan is an ultrasound that measurse the nuchal folds in the back of the baby's head/neck. If the thickness is less than 2.8 ( I think) then the chance of downs & trisomy13 is very low and a cvs/aminio may not be needed. I think in combo with bloodwork it is 75-88% accurate on perdicting chromosonal issues. If the measurments are thicker it does not necessarily mean there is issues but a closer look may be warrented. I have had 2 m/c so I didnt want to do anything that increased my chance of miscarriage so that is why I did the NT scan. It can be done at 11 - 14 weeks. My OB discussed it and his thinking is it should be the first test done that way it my eliminate may more invasive procedures.

http://se.babycenter.com/pregnancy/r...ltranslucency/

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#89 of 328 Old 06-03-2008, 05:34 PM
 
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welcome to all the new people still in shock... i know how you feel i think most of us do. even those of us who were trying or at least not preventing (me!) i think still had some of that feeling.lisa i know what you mean about not thinking it can happen but i guess we are all proof it can! a few years ago there was an hispanic 53 yo lady in washington state who had naturally conceived triplets i think. her other kids were all in their 20s!
the ultrascreen is a nuchal translucency measurement on ultrasound combined with some bloodwork from a fingerstick. it is a screening test and will give you your odds of trisomy 21 13 and 18. for instance my age related odds of Down syndrome are 1:77 but the test reduced it to 1:576 or something like that. if you want to know for sure you do either a cvs or amnio. or you can just go with your age risk alone and not do any testing. fwiw, both of my friends who had Down syndrome children were 35 and under one diagnosed after birth; one had a normal quadruple screen blood test but a heart defect at her 18 wk scan and then had amnio with results back at about 21 wks. and i don't think they can reject your internship - it will be easier to do as much as you can while you're pregnant that after so i would start! i wouldn't even tell them until you are in your second trimester at the earliest.
opally i am sorry it is financially hard for you. i stopped working last year and my husband is majorly stressed about money and i am as well to a lesser extent. but welcome stresses and all!
light at the end of the tunnel- when my first was little i kept telling dh the year i turn 40 it is going to be all about me ! (she is 5 this year). then with my son - the year i turn 42! now it's - the year i turn 45! oh well! what can you do? but seriously - 2013 is my year ladies!
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#90 of 328 Old 06-03-2008, 11:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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NT measurement was good...no bloodwork results yet for a few day. Too tired to post more...but cerclage is next friday.
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