Is there a pregnant over 40 thread? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 328 Old 06-14-2008, 10:17 AM
 
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Angela -- sorry about your loss! I cannot imagine, though I did lose one at 8 weeks before this one.
I would love to be able to homebirth, and still plan on trying to, unofficially. DH thinks I'm too old at 43 but I have not had any problems so far and am 34 weeks (knocking on wood). I think my plan right now is to stay home as looooonnnnggg as possible in the hopes that this baby will just pop out at home!

Probably not likely since this is my first.

Lucky wife to DH and mom to DS (10/02) and sweet DD (7/08) and DSD (3/93) and assorted animalia
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#122 of 328 Old 06-14-2008, 02:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't see why you'd be too old, but as a first pregnancy I'm thinking you would probably want a support person. Why not plan for a home birth and if it isn't going in a way you feel comfortable you can always do a transfer to the hospital then? It seems more likely you'd be succesful at having the birth you want that way. I don't really get the "too old for a homebirth" thing, there are some complications that we are more prone to as we age, but very few of them are actually birth related.

so the cerclage technically went ok but it was much much rougher on me this time. They used a different anaesthesia in the spinal, and I'm much more sore and achey today than I was last time. In fact I'm off to take some painkillers. Hopefully I'll be feeling more ok by tomorrow.
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#123 of 328 Old 06-15-2008, 10:15 AM
 
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I'm 40 and will be just shy of 41 when I give birth to my 4th child.

Anyway, I am having emotional difficulties in this pregnancy, I dont know if its age or hormones or just being new to this state we moved here 6 months ago but it might as well be last month. Or perhaps this was a unplanned pregnancy, or simply I have been overwhelmed and isolated feeling for being a new commer with upset routines. My dad died last year and this year my mom had breast cancer and rushed to masectomy. A friend of mine lost her baby that was the same age as my child to brain cancer, little guy was diagnosed last year and died last month just shy of his 4th birthday. I wanted him to be well so bad, he was a real beauty and so smart and cute and was developing well and overall healthy until the brain cancer took over.

lots of stuff that is high stress. plus I always enjoyed homeschooling and now my husband thinks I am too depressed and stressed and busy with pregnancy and a new baby to homeschool, at least our youngest who occassionally has been rascally, he's three afterall turning 4 this August. anyway, losts of loss in my life all at the same time.

I do love how my breast have filled out, just before I got preg. I was thinking how saggy they were getting. But I did like how I finally got my figure back, and a little worried about if I can get my figure back while in my forties since my skin is losing its elasticity little by little. My hair seems to be turning white weekly! I always looked much younger than my age, and now I look my age or a little younger, and I'm sorry about my ego and shallow talk but I am missing my more youthful looks. My skin is looking flushed all the time, it's too many changes all at once. I know I got to shift attitudes and I'm working on it, but these are some underlying truths I cope with privately.

Anyway, that's where I am. Sometimes glad to be pregnant, sometimes fearful and full of regret for being too horny to care about some fertile signs that I was having those early days after my period, I got pregnant from making love in the wee moring of day 8 or the very late night of day 7 of my cycle. And I knew I was having fertile fluid since day 6 (stretchy kind)...I just didn't care, nor did I tell my husband, for I was too fragile and needy emotionally to speak up. So the emotional problems happened during pregnancy. But I have been having bouts and cycles of major depression, I somehow find ways to pull myself out to function and then I get better for a while but monthly it tends to comeback and at least a day I am really beside my self and can't get out of bed.

as for pregnancy, I always wanted to be preg in my 40s for there is something so neat about how the body looks beautiful when pregnant. (at least I think I look beautiful preganant, maybe mainstreamers wouldn't agree, but I thought I would be more patient, not less as I got older. I am working on getting my old positive attitude back. but I still cry everyday about something.
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#124 of 328 Old 06-15-2008, 10:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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and welcome Castlehouse. You certainly do have a lot going on. How far along are you? Remember that pregnancy hormones can cause lots of crying and mood swings all on their own, so with all that going on plus that its not surprising that you are touchy and fragile!

I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's loss, and of your own families losses and stresses, and moving to a new place is definitely a stress. Are there any pregnancy classes you can take maybe? A way to get out and connect with other people? Pregnancy yoga? Or a hypnobabies class? Are there any homeschool groups where you moved to?

If it helps to know, I felt completely overwhelmed by this pregnancy for most of the time I've been pregnant. This wasn't exactly unplanned, but the timing was planned differently and we got pregnant before we expected. Since I have to be on bedrest, the small change in timing really mattered and it just felt like so MUCH. I did eventually settle down but I really think pregnancy, even if its planned, and certainly if its not, really requires some adjustment. And of course everyone expects us to be happy happy happy. Maybe just try to meet your feelings about it where they are and accept that in some ways you are grieving.
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#125 of 328 Old 06-15-2008, 11:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by avivaelona View Post
I don't see why you'd be too old, but as a first pregnancy I'm thinking you would probably want a support person. Why not plan for a home birth and if it isn't going in a way you feel comfortable you can always do a transfer to the hospital then? It seems more likely you'd be succesful at having the birth you want that way. I don't really get the "too old for a homebirth" thing, there are some complications that we are more prone to as we age, but very few of them are actually birth related.
My feelings exactly. We do have a doula. But DH is just not comfortable with HB and I respect that. I know it's not him giving birth but the last thing I need is for him to be all freaked out. Also, I'm not comfortable with UC and it's too late to get a HB midwife on board. So, my plan is to be at home as long as possible.

Lucky wife to DH and mom to DS (10/02) and sweet DD (7/08) and DSD (3/93) and assorted animalia
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#126 of 328 Old 06-15-2008, 08:27 PM
 
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avivaelona i am so glad your cerclage went ok! i apologize i thought it was coming up this week not last week - placental brain drain i guess!
welcome castlehouse. i am sorry you are having such emotional ups and downs, maybe as you get further along it will be a little smoother. so sorry to hear your mom and your friend's son. maybe your new one will have a guardian angel looking out for him/her.
materfamilias- (like the latin btw) that is great you have found a doula. i am glad everything continues to go well for you!
Happy Fathers Day to all the dads out there. my dd woke up at 630 like it was christmas morning all excited to give daddy her card and present. it was so cute! you can tell who her favorite is! angela
ps i am going to start posting a lot to reach my 50 posts. i used to have a different screen name here a couple of yrs ago and couldn't remember it so this one is new and i miss TAO forum - that was the main one i read! so when i came back i was like - where is it! so i want my 50 posts! also i would like to be able to read the parents as partners board too!
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#127 of 328 Old 06-16-2008, 12:25 AM
 
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Hi! Glad to find this thread!

I'll turn 41 at the end of June, with baby #5 due the first week of July. It would be fun to have the same b'day, but I haven't gone early yet. Though, it could happen b/c I'm not sure of the conception date since my cycle went completely bonkers after we lost our baby last year at 12 weeks.

I'm excited about being in the homestretch, but I'm trying to get a lot of things done....all with nausea (first time in 3rd tri for me) and really bad heartburn.

Glad to meet everyone!
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#128 of 328 Old 06-16-2008, 12:46 AM
 
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im curious if anyone else here is planning a homebirth. this will be my first homebirth...ds3 was born at a birth center w/ MW's but my first 2 were c/s's.
I'm about to turn 42 and am planning my 2nd homebirth next month. This has actually been my easiest pregnancy out of the three, even the first one which was in my mid 20's.

Although some complications are more common in the older mamas its only because those complications (high blood pressure, diabetes, etc) are typically more common in women over 40 than those in their 20's to begin with. Your overall health before you get pregnancy and your lifestyle during pregnancy have a large bearing on how your pregnancy will go.

I'm very fortunate that even though this was a totally unplanned pregnancy that last year I did a lifestyle change and focused on getting healthy for my 40s by eating a very healthy diet and excercising daily.

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that we are going to have a new little person in the house next month. Much more of my coping with pregnancy this time around has been emotional more than physical. Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy at this age has been tougher than I had imagined.

Rosemary
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#129 of 328 Old 06-16-2008, 01:12 AM
 
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Hi all
Just found this thread, so thought I'd introduce myself...

I turned 40 in March and have a son who turned four in May. We are due with number 2 in November after 5 (!) miscarriages since my son was born. Understandably, I am quite nervous, but it all seems to be going well so far - I have my level 2 ultrasound this afternooon. (I'm in Australia so it's about 1.30pm here at the moment).

I lurk a bit on MDC but, quite frankly, I've yet to have much to say that won't get me into trouble . I have a hard time getting all woo with some of the idealists who haven't been through losses - or know what it's like to be an "elderly gravida".

Nice to finally find people who may just be on my wavelength!

(Edited to add that my NT scan came back with great odds so I opted against CVS or amnio - not worth it with my history of miscarriages)
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#130 of 328 Old 06-16-2008, 01:12 AM
 
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castelhouse I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your feelings. Coping with the emotional issues of an unplanned pregnancy are really tough. As my pregnancy has progressed I have moved to the accepting stage but I still can't say I'm "excited" and that makes me feel a little guilty. I'm just counting on once this little mystery baby gets here I will be totally in love and put all of this ambivelance behind me.

People talk alot about post partum depression these days but depression during pregnancy is much, much more common than people realize. This may be a good time for you to seek out a professional to talk to especially since you were having some problems even before you got pregnant. I have seriously been considering it myself although lately I've been much better.

And as far as looks go even the twentysomething pregnant mamas worry about what pregnancy and birth and breastfeeding will do to their bodies and looks. That worry is ageless. And the good news is I heard that by having children late, we give our bodies a burst of estrogen which in turn helps keep skin, hair, bones and blood vessels healthy and also protects against osteoporosis. And a recent study showed that women who gave birth in their forties were more than four times as likely to live to 100.

So maybe we'll actually look better at 50 for having a baby in our 40s. Here's to hoping!!
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#131 of 328 Old 06-16-2008, 10:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Rosemary, that made me feel so much better! Thanks!

Although I am part of that group that just has a few more complications because I'm older...diagnosed with Type II last year.

Welcome Peppercat and Beth! Beth you are due so soon! Good luck. Peppercat good luck at the level II.

I think that even if you have a planned pregnancy it can be hard to adjust when it really does happen. Our pregnancy was sort of planned in that we intended to have another and were aiming to get pregnant this year. However, we had decided to wait til summer to TTC and had an unexpected surprise in April instead. Even just the three months difference between what we planned and what we got required some major adjustment time, so I can see how a totally unplanned pregnancy would just throw someone for a loop.

Angela just makes lots of one line posts We won't mind if you respond to everything individually til you get to fifty

I'm kind of vaguely trying to get to 1000 just because I've been on MDC for several years and I'm still not at senior membership Though I see several of you have been here at least as long and aren't anywhere near that either. I always think that the senior membership should be based on some time here/post number algorithim since it really penalizes those of us who are quieter.
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#132 of 328 Old 06-16-2008, 08:00 PM
 
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Hi all,

Had my Dr visit today and the big news is that I am 'only' 6 weeks into this! She had no good explanation for my larger than life belly other than that preg. hormones can do unusual things. She did an u/s and i got to see the heartbeat, so that was cool. I will go back in a few weeks to follow up and have some bloodwork. Hope everyone has a good week!

Sunny
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#133 of 328 Old 06-17-2008, 12:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm glad everything was good Sunny. I was huge for the first few weeks, and then it went down. Scary because I thought I lost the baby, but no, everything was fine, I just had really bad bloating, and those already used muscles just obligingly pooched right out. I swear I looked five months along for the first few weeks.
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#134 of 328 Old 06-17-2008, 11:14 AM
 
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LOL! Thanks avivaelona...that makes me feel much better! I guess I'm in the same boat. I haven't gained any weight, but will have to go shopping this weekend for a few new shirts. I'm not ready for anything that broadcasts "maternity" since it turns out I'm only 6 weeks along.
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#135 of 328 Old 06-22-2008, 08:56 PM
 
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Hi Mamas--

I noticed there hasn't been an addition for a while so I'd thought I'd add. Does anyone else feel REALLY beat up by the end of the day?

I'm in week seven and I start too feel little uterine achiness if I'm really pushing it. I sit down and drink water but I don't remember being this exhausted with dd.
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#136 of 328 Old 06-22-2008, 10:44 PM
 
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i felt really tired my first trimester and am definitely still feeling less energetic than at 22 but all in all im having a very healthy pregnancy..i guess i just need to be a bit more patient w/ myself this time around (same as when i was 38 though).
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#137 of 328 Old 06-23-2008, 12:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've had a touch more energy lately now that I got to this point, first trimester all I wanted was to fall asleep. I was that tired with my first too though and I was "only" 37 then. (ok not much of a difference, but I didn't have as much exhaustion with #2 and I was 38 then)
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#138 of 328 Old 06-23-2008, 05:27 AM
 
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Gah - I'm tired ALL the time. 20 weeks tomorrow and still waiting for the second trimester energy boost
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#139 of 328 Old 06-23-2008, 11:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well its not so much an energy boost as a lessening of the all encompassing exhaustion. But also I'm on bedrest so I am not expending much energy.

I do think I've found one thing that being 40 has changed...with bedrest, I'm losing muscle tone so much faster. I think I'm going to ask to be sent for PT just to get some gentle excercises I can do.

How is everyone else? We had some mamas that were close to due.
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#140 of 328 Old 06-23-2008, 11:36 AM
 
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Just checking in. I'm a bit overdue at this point--my EDD was Friday. There are certainly signs that my little girl is on her way--I'm about 90% effaced and 1 cm dilated as of Friday, lost my mucous plug yesterday, and I'm having some cramping today. I'll get checked again by the midwife today to see where I am--I think I've dilated more.

Other than that, I feel fine--I was out putting plant markers on new herbs in my garden yesterday, and then in the afternoon, we went to an anniversary party. Today I'll do some work at home until my midwife appointment.

I hope this little girl shows up soon, though! We're all getting anxious to see her little face!
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#141 of 328 Old 06-23-2008, 02:02 PM
 
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Though, it could happen b/c I'm not sure of the conception date since my cycle went completely bonkers after we lost our baby last year at 12 weeks.
This happened to me, too! I think I was actually in premenopause when this one came along. My cycle was ALL messed up. Who knew??

Peppercat: I hear you on the loss thing. I only had one, but I swear I looked at the t.p. for blood EVERY time I wiped into the middle of the second trimester.

IronyOptional: yay!! go! go!

Lucky wife to DH and mom to DS (10/02) and sweet DD (7/08) and DSD (3/93) and assorted animalia
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#142 of 328 Old 06-23-2008, 03:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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oooh any day...maybe even any hour now! Wishing you a gentle and wonderful birth
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#143 of 328 Old 06-23-2008, 11:04 PM
 
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Ok avivaelona and all you other mamas, I need help! I am soooo uncomfortable with the bloating it's hard to do anything. Nausea is complicating matters. Any suggestions? I will take any at all!!!

TIA!
Sunny
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#144 of 328 Old 06-24-2008, 01:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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drink more water for the bloating and avoid salty foods for a day or two. nausea...ugh...eat frequent small meals and hang in there!
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#145 of 328 Old 06-24-2008, 09:26 AM
 
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drink more water for the bloating and avoid salty foods for a day or two. nausea...ugh...eat frequent small meals and hang in there!

ugh, so maybe part of the problem is that about all I can stand to eat is salty food i will have to try to find something else i can tolerate and drink more water. also, i have low bp aggravated by pregnancy, so i definitely have to keep drinking.

thanks for the reply!
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#146 of 328 Old 06-24-2008, 09:30 AM
 
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This happened to me, too! I think I was actually in premenopause when this one came along. My cycle was ALL messed up. Who knew??
Materfamilias and so_blessed, ditto here about the big surprise! Congratulations to you both!
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#147 of 328 Old 06-24-2008, 09:51 AM
 
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Just checking in. I'm a bit overdue at this point--my EDD was Friday. There are certainly signs that my little girl is on her way--I'm about 90% effaced and 1 cm dilated as of Friday, lost my mucous plug yesterday, and I'm having some cramping today. I'll get checked again by the midwife today to see where I am--I think I've dilated more.

Other than that, I feel fine--I was out putting plant markers on new herbs in my garden yesterday, and then in the afternoon, we went to an anniversary party. Today I'll do some work at home until my midwife appointment.

I hope this little girl shows up soon, though! We're all getting anxious to see her little face!
sending you some labor vibes. just remember you are only "overdue" over 42 weeks. schedule a spa appt. and she is such to come (so you will miss it! lol!)
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#148 of 328 Old 06-25-2008, 02:44 PM
 
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I'm glad to have found this thread! I'm 42 and will be 43 when the baby comes. It's my first pregnancy and was a complete surprise. Luckily, I have been blessed with a lack of morning sickness, which apparently was the case when my mother was pregnant with me, so maybe it's genetic? Apart from feeling tired more often (I'm about 12 weeks along) and looking like I'm already 4 months pregnant due to the bloating, I feel quite good.

I plan to give birth at home with a midwife, as the hospitals here in Spain use routine procedures from the dark ages. There's something like a 97% epidural and episiotomy rate! As long as both the baby and I appear to be healthy I don't see any reason to give birth in a hospital.

Laurel
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#149 of 328 Old 06-25-2008, 05:35 PM
 
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the hospitals here in Spain use routine procedures from the dark ages. There's something like a 97% epidural and episiotomy rate!
:

Lucky wife to DH and mom to DS (10/02) and sweet DD (7/08) and DSD (3/93) and assorted animalia
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#150 of 328 Old 06-27-2008, 07:41 AM
 
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amorifera, Yikes! That's amazing. Will you be trying to be in the 3% range? Where do you live in Spain? I LOVE : Spain. I've traveled there twice...and lived there six weeks with a lovely host family while I got an undergrad degree in Spanish. Would love to go back someday.

Sunriseiz, When are you due?

Peppercat, I am due in two weeks and I was just talking to DH last night about how hard it was to see blood on the tissue when we lost our baby last year. He mentioned how amazing it was that we have made it this far and are getting ready to deliver.

This is going to make this a long post, but considering some of us have no idea about EDDs b/c of irregular cycles after miscarriage, anyone have any suggestions about the following? (Sorry so long!)

I had my 38 week MW appt. today. She leaned back in her chair and said, "Let's talk about induction!" It really caught me by surprise (38 wks!!?).

I've had three other babies with this MW group (all on my due date), so I know their protocol is to set up an appointment since it is so much easier to get one three-four weeks out rather than a week away. BUT, it still makes me a bit uneasy, less relaxed.

So, though I probably won't make it to the dates, I now have an ultrasound at 41 wks and induction scheduled for 42 weeks. I *think* I am ok with the u/s b/c I am: almost 41, measuring smaller this time (never have before), and want to be certain the amniotic fluids and placenta are ok. Any opinions on this? (We declined all testing except our 20 wk ultrasound).

Also, they are basing my due date on a 28-day cycle, and I am totally unsure of conception b/c prior to conceiving I had a 14-day cycle followed by a 35-day cycle!!! So, I could be early or really late and not even know it. We are basically using the u/s due date which coincided with the 28-cycle EDD.
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Refbacks are Off