When did you tell the world the news? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: When did you tell everyone that you're expecting?
As soon as I knew myself 18 18.56%
Between 4-8 weeks 18 18.56%
Between 8-10 weeks 12 12.37%
Between 10-12 weeks 17 17.53%
After 12 weeks 32 32.99%
Voters: 97. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-14-2008, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was going to tell everyone after my first doctor's visit, but now I'm thinking of waiting a little longer. Close family already know I'm expecting, but nobody else has a clue yet.

Mom of 2 boys: D-Mac (Feb 06) and Ducky (Dec 08)
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Old 05-14-2008, 05:01 PM
 
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Told my close friends and family as soon as I knew, but waited to tell work and acquaintances until after 12 weeks.
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Old 05-14-2008, 05:17 PM
 
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3 weeks exactly. LOL.

Mama to DS R (June/06), DD K (September/07), DS M (October/08), DD R (June/09)... waiting for #5 in late 2013!!

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Old 05-14-2008, 05:59 PM
 
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I tell anyone that I'd want to know I had a M/C as soon as I know or within a week or two. Everyone else waits until I'm obviously showing or 12 weeks, whichever comes first.

Spark and her four firecrackers.
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Old 05-14-2008, 06:27 PM
 
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Just finally told all my friends and family (other than the moms that found at at 7weeks) at 30 weeks!!! Guess that's a bit longer than most.

Karen happily partnered mother of 3 beautiful girls (teen/toddler/newborn).
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Old 05-14-2008, 07:12 PM
 
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Well, with my first we told everyone as soon as we found out- about 5 weeks. I figured they'd all be supportive if anything went wrong (even though the thought hardly crossed my mind, being young & very healthy). Boy was I wrong. I never considered the fact that there's only ONE person in my NON-immediate family who's miscarried and NO friends IRL even interested in children yet. So when we lost that baby I realized that unfortunately for me (but fortunately for those who've never had to experience it) I couldn't get the support I REALLY needed after miscarriage, and it really made it so much harder and dragged the process out longer than it should have been.

So, with #2, we didn't tell anyone right away, and we lost that baby too.

With #2 (DD) we waited until 9 weeks and told our parents but asked them not to say anything for a few more weeks.

This time was pretty much the same as with DD. Future babies...we'll continue to wait as long as possible.

I'm ALL about celebrating EVERY life right from the start, but I also know what *I* need emotionally and I learned from my experiences that sadly sometimes it's better to just wait. While it sucked dealing with the pain and hurt of loss by myself, the second time was MUCH easier than hearing the comments from people who have NO idea what it's like and weren't particularly happy about me being pregnant in the first place.

Ooops...sorry for the novel.

Me (27) DH (30)...9 Years

DD (7) ~ DD (4) ~ DS (3)

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Old 05-14-2008, 07:29 PM
 
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I told people bit by bit. First, my mom, sister, dad, best friend... then at 12 weeks, all my other girlfriends who would've surely told eachother if I didnt tell them all at once. Then a few weeks later, my friends at work... I told my boss around 20 weeks. Between weeks 20 and 30 I worked on getting around to all my friends who don't live in NYC... I actually am still trying to get to everybody and I am 37 weeks!!!
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Old 05-14-2008, 07:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spark View Post
I tell anyone that I'd want to know I had a M/C as soon as I know or within a week or two. Everyone else waits until I'm obviously showing or 12 weeks, whichever comes first.

Whichever comes first?!?!?! I didnt really start to show til about 6 months!! I am amazed that some people show so early!!!
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Old 05-14-2008, 07:50 PM
 
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We started to tell at about 18 weeks. DH was convinced that we couldn't get away with not telling his family anymore because they would know immediately. They couldn't really tell, but we had already planned to tell, so we did. Before that, it was just such a fun secret between me and DH. I still haven't told a lot of people, though.

I have a bit of a tummy, but I can dress to conceal if I want to (and sometimes I do), and it doesn't really look like a pregnant belly yet. I could just be getting a bit chubby. Too many bon bons, you know.

Catherine, mama to Preschooler Girl 9/08, and Toddler Boy 3/11

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Old 05-14-2008, 07:52 PM
 
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I used to tell everyone right away but after a couple of early losses I only tell people I am close to right away and wait till at least 12 weeks to tell every one else.
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Old 05-14-2008, 07:58 PM
 
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I told my best friend at 6 weeks, family at 9 weeks, but waited until 12 weeks to tell work and everybody else. It was so hard waiting but I had to, just for my own sanity!

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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Old 05-14-2008, 09:37 PM
 
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My BFF knew right away. A few friends guessed as 6 weeks. We told family at 10 weeks. I told work at 16 weeks.

Baby Boy 9/08 & Baby Girl 3/11

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Old 05-14-2008, 10:08 PM
 
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I was not planning on telling anyone until much later (because I dont like people knowing my business) but I was about 7 weeks during the holidays and throwing up all over the place. People were starting to gossip that I was on some kind of drugs (and I am a very loud anti-drugs, anti-alcohol person) so I had no choice but to confess. Other people just found out when they dared asking as I was getting fatter.

Single mom to E (2004) and D (2010)
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Old 05-15-2008, 12:25 AM
 
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With this one, I found out at 5 weeks. I wanted to wait at least until it was confirmed by a doctor, but my dd found the hpt and just couldn't keep it a secret from Grandma (my mom). I ended up telling her and my dad, but asked them not to tell anyone until I could get to the doctor the next day to confirm and get HCG counts and such. I'd had problems sustaining a pregnancy through the first few weeks. The next day, it was confirmed and I think I started telling more people after the u/s later that week. Then again, *I* really didn't get to tell many people. My mom did most of that for me.

Tiffany, loving wife to Matt, Mommy to Samantha (10/99), Tevin (8/04), Cadence (6/08) and babymooning with our sweet little Lauren 6/24/10
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Old 05-15-2008, 12:25 AM
 
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I told my work "family" the very morning I peed on the stick!!! It was the day we were leaving for XMas vacation and seemed like good timing.

I told my immediate family 3 days later. My DH told his family not long after that.

My extended family found out at about 9 weeks- I had to be admitted to the hospital with complications unexpectedly and missed my aunt's wake and funeral, so my mom told everybody what was going on.


I am so lucky that I've never suffered a loss- I assume that if I did, it would be better for family and friends to know so they could help me through. Maybe they would make things worse.

Sleepy mama to Colin Theodore 8-12-08 and Trevor Arthur 7-17-12.

 

 

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Old 05-15-2008, 01:20 AM
 
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I waited until people started asking and even then I tried to deny it. It took me a while to get used to the idea myself. Plus, I wanted to avoid the 'where are you going to deliver?' talk.
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Old 05-15-2008, 02:31 AM
 
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lol, I'm 16 weeks and still haven't told much more than close friends and a few random strangers. Haven't felt like talking about it, and it's fairly easy to hide still if I wear baggy enough clothes - just looks like I've been hitting the Girl Scout cookies a bit too hard. Hoping to feel like telling once I hit 20 weeks, because I certainly won't be able to hide it at that point...

I'm a private person, and after two losses... I just don't want the world knowing my business, and would not want the task of having to "untell" a bunch of people if something happened.
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Old 05-15-2008, 02:35 AM
 
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I told my mom and sister a soon as I knew, especially since they were the only ones who knew we were trying!
We told a few friends last week (at 6 weeks) and we're telling DH's mom tomorrow.
DH's dad and step-mom, though, are being blacklisted for previous indiscretions and gossiping about personal matters, so we know we can't trust them to keep it quiet at all. For them, we'll probably wait until they figure it out from my belly! I really want to watch the MIL squirm trying to figure out if she should say something about my (soon-to-be) bump. She's very observant (critical) of appearances, but likes to think she's so proper, so she probably won't ask for awhile! hehe. Also, we KNOW they're in the "what do you MEAN you won't be in a hospital? OMGyou'llkillthebabyifyoudoitathome" camp.: I just don't feel like dealing with that crap right now. Plus, I get to feel sneaky and mischievous keeping it a secret from them as long as possible, which I'm enjoying.

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Old 05-15-2008, 07:01 AM
 
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I told everyone I was pregnant right away, probably 5 weeks or so. Then I came back negative on two blood tests so I told everyone I wasn't. Then I got an ultrasound which showed I had been all along and told everyone "no I really AM pregnant!" It was a little confusing. I should have just waited!

Divorced mama to baby girl (7/5/06) and baby boy (8/5/08) Into anything fun and creative!
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Old 05-15-2008, 09:42 AM
 
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Well, because of my husband's job we hang out with a very close knit group of people and once you tell one you tell all. So, all of our friends out here found out first, at about 5 or 6 weeks.

Close friends and family from back home were told over Christmas leave, about 11 wks, when we got to see them face to face (and conveniently after my first prenatal visit).
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Old 05-15-2008, 09:44 AM
 
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I know we might be odd, but DH and I enjoy keeping the secret to ourselves and savoring it just as the 2 of us. It's fun to tease each other about it.

Michelle: wife to J, mom to M (2001), E (2003), C (2005), S (2007) and O! (2009) And someone new in 2011!
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Old 05-15-2008, 11:22 AM
 
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Ok, HOW do those of you who wait until 12 weeks keep the secret that long!? I am far too tired to fake anything else, and at 5w1d I am already starting to show! I wanted to wait until 6 - 8 weeks, but I couldn't hold it in!

Wife to a wonderful DH, Mom to 3 amazing girls and one special boy, IBCLC, supporter of moms. 
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Old 05-15-2008, 01:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was going to wait until after my first doctor's visit to tell friends and extended family, but now they want to do an ultrasound for dating next week. So, I'm a little hesitant to say anything until I've seen the heartbeat for myself.

But like a pp said, I will probably go ahead and tell my closest friends this week, because if anything did go wrong I would want their support. Besides, I am really starting to show, so it will be hard to hide it much longer. Let me tell you, I did not anticipate having a visible baby bump at 7 weeks!

My first pregnancy, DH and I agreed not to tell anyone but immediate family until 12 weeks. I miscarried at 10 weeks and then felt like I couldn't talk to anyone about it because no one knew I'd been pregnant in the first place.

All the same, I am still going to wait 'til 12 weeks if I can to tell folks at work. With so few employees in our group, having one of us out of commission throws a big wrench into a lot of plans and I'm not looking forward to that announcement.

Mom of 2 boys: D-Mac (Feb 06) and Ducky (Dec 08)
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Old 05-19-2008, 01:05 PM
 
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At 15 weeks.

Ilaria mamma to Owen, Caroline & Patrick .... loving life as expats in Asia intactlact.gifnovaxnocirc.gifuc.jpgnamaste.gif
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Old 05-19-2008, 04:34 PM
 
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With our first DS, I told my mom the day I found out. A few days later my dad. We told everyone else at 12 weeks. I really liked not everyone knowing until then.

Now that we are expecting #2...we haven't told anyone yet. I'm 7 weeks. We were thinking about waiting until 12 weeks but I'm having a harder time keeping it to myself this time! Plus I'm in my sister's wedding in Sept and she keeps sending me dress ideas...so I'll have to tell her soon!
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Old 05-19-2008, 04:51 PM
 
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Well I told my mom the day I found out and several close freinds and family. Everyone else found out when I talked to them.

I did the same this pregancy, but it worked out perfectly because we found out on Valentine's day. So I called her, told her I had a gift and she HAD to get it today. So wrapped my positive pregnancy test up, put it in a box, and put the box inside a gift bag. When she opened it she looked confused for a minute and then suddenly it dawned on here and seh started freaking out and crying with happy tears. I loved it

Amy Lynn, Loving wife stillheart.gifand mom to 3 sweethearts. Christopher (8/06), Katherine (10/08), and Matthew (09/11).  2 time VBAC Momma and NCB & BFing advocate.

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Old 05-19-2008, 06:18 PM
 
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I said 8-10 weeks, but it wasn't actually intentional. My goal had been 12 weeks, but then in a discussion about mat leave and benefits at work, I said something about "last time" and then "this time". when I should have said "last time" and "next time". In a room full of people.

We told family at 6-7 weeks, when the morning sickness kicked in.
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Old 05-20-2008, 12:34 AM
 
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We tell everyone pretty close to right away. With DD1 we announced it to the world the moment we could tell all of our family that we knew.

With Pregnancy #2 I told everyone pretty much right away and I MC'd, and was absolutely crushed & sunk into a deep deep deep depression for months. I was fortunate that telling everyone was really beneficial to me because of the support (except for my dad's girlfriend who found out from my dad and told me that I should have layed down so i wouldn't hurt the baby more after I started bleeding - I did but she insisted it was my fault - guilt*guilt*guilt)

With DD2, we told close friends and family right away, and announced to friends & acquaintances shortly after.

With this pregnancy we announced a few minutes after I peed on the stick to friends & family. I waited to tell my online friends & acquaintances until it had sunk in for me. this was major surprise so I was in shock/denial at first.
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