Tough issue. It isn't about being pregnant, gaining weight, or anything seemingly apparent like that. In my experience it's deep seeded body issues. It's easy to think you have good self esteme when you are thin or happen to have a shape you deem attractive. But, if you truely have good self image and esteme your attitude toward your body SHOULD NOT change when your body changes. I don't know many people have have that true form of self appreciation and love for their physical self. I certainly don't. I've been given all the advice you could think of, exposed myself to people, books, and information that supports loving your body (pregnant or not) but, I'm still very hard on myself. I am pregant with babe number 2. It is worse this time around. I had gradually gained weight since hs before getting pregnant the first time so my weight gain during pregnancy came on fairly timely therefor I got used to the weight as it came on. However, I still thought of myself as overweight and have almost no pics of myself pregnant or even right after my daughter was born.
I lost a bunch of weight after having my daughter, through very hard work. I got down to a size where I felt comfortable in tight clothing again, didn't feel "overweight" and although I wanted to drop more pounds felt decent in my own skin (but, this took fitting into my fav pair of jeans from 8th grade). The diet backfired, I quit, and about a 1 1/2 years prior to getting pregnant this time around put on almost all of what I had lost. Now that I'm pregnant again I'm back in pants that I was just keeping around to remind myself of how far I've come
. I feel horrid about the way I look. I can see fat in my face, arms, legs, sides, everywhere and honestly, NO ONE could convince me that I truely look good. My husband is wonderful and tells me nice things all the time but, then I just think he has the love goggles on. No one says bad things to me, calls me heavy, points out fat, or anything mean... and I still think what I do. I think it's because I'm right but, reguardless if I am or not it's the way I feel.
I don't know what to tell you about your friend. All the books in the world may not help. It's a personal thing. Even with encouragement from others it may not work. I can assure you that there is more to her story and complaints about her body than even she may be aware of. It's a pretty tough thing in our society these days.
Now, I hate to be Negitive Nancy, and I'm sorry if I'm sounding that way. Your friend may truely find the beautiful things about pregnancy and life and they may overshadow her self doubt but, then again, maybe not. It isn't her fault, she shouldn't feel guilty about being sad about that particular part of being prego, she isn't being ungrateful of the gift she has been given. It's rough, I know how it feels. I've been feeling it every day for quite awhile now. I persoanlly have already stopped taking pics of myself and will not look at pics others have taken of me.
I do hope your friend finds some peace with her body image.