How important are dr. appts? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 05-21-2008, 08:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Seriously I dont want to go anymore.
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#2 of 24 Old 05-21-2008, 08:47 PM
 
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I personally find them a waste of my time, and do as few MW appointments as possible. The only reason I had a MW at all with DD2, was because DH wasn't comfy with a UC, hoping that won't be the case with #3.

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#3 of 24 Old 05-21-2008, 08:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm only 10 weeks this PG (but this is my 4th one). I feel like i know what to expect for the most part, know how my body works, and have been told by the clinic to go to the ER if anything abnormal happens anyway (they dont want to deal with it). After 20 weeks I"m to go to L&D if I have problems.

So what's the point of Dr. appts again??

(hint - the dr. & nurse were absolutely MEAN and ABUSIVE to me today - i had to file a complaint with patient advocacy when I got home, sobbing. And really they're not even going to listen for the baby's heartbeat until 16 weeks, and just want to run test after test after invasive flippin test. I dont care if my baby has downs. I will still love him/her. I dont have STD's. Lee-mee-alone!)

**eta - i will definitely go in to the lab to get tested for gestational diabetes, and will check my bp at the store. most likely i'll still make my dr. appts, but i'm just mad and scared to go back right now.
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#4 of 24 Old 05-21-2008, 08:52 PM
 
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Dh wanted to be sure things were okay leading into the birth before he was comfortable with UC, so I went to a doctor to start. I'll probably also go to a couple appointments at the end, but ... omg*... right now I'm just weighing myself for fun and I got some protein strips that also check glucose.

*I'm not going to be here for the birth, I have no idea where we'd transfer to after we move or how to get there, I totally just realized that. Oh well, there's a ton of hospitals in the new town and a birth center.
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#5 of 24 Old 05-21-2008, 09:23 PM
 
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FOUR appts before 10 weeks? What on earth are they testing? That is insane. I've been to two and that was only because of some confusion, usually they don't even want to see you here until you are 10 weeks along or so.

Do you have a friend with a blood glucose monitor? Did you have GD with any of the other four? GTT tests probably aren't that necessary and very little else is. Maybe check into the self care thread and UC boards even if you don't plan to do all your own care just to see what is really necessary and what isn't. Can you change clinics or switch to a midwife?
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#6 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 12:40 AM
 
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my MW is giving me private hypnobirthing classes during my MW appts...so for me its worth it.....otherwise, not so much.
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#7 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 12:58 AM
 
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Can you find a new doctor??? If they are abusive now, wait until you're in labor and can't really fight back.



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#8 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 10:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks all - so much! I've been to the lab twice, once in the office for a mandatory group "meeting" to tell you all about the discomforts of pregnancy and what to NOT call the clinic with because they dont want to be bothered (ie - we were told go to the ER if we have questions before 20 weeks, and L&D after 20 weeks - not to bother the clinic).

My last appointment was yesterday - it was all testing (gynecological) for things i have no markers or risk factors for (STDs, etc) - not ONE question that was pregnancy related, regardless of the fact that I spent 2 weeks early on calling the clinic *every day* because I was so sick I was losing weight and needed something for relief, and was also fighting depression - all in my chart.

Rather, the nurse mocked me & insulted me, and the doctor accused me of seeking attention (for a diagnosis made by another doctor *3* years ago for an unrelated situation where i was in ICU for 3 days). He said he was going to make notes in my chart that I am difficult and a liar and seeking attention. I honestly just sat there with my mouth open.

During the exam he was physically rough with me to the point of making me bleed (and ended the exam with "yep, you're bleeding pretty good there" in a way that almost seemed like he was satisfied with himself). I was crying by the time he was done examining me, and spent most of the day in tears.

I can't switch to a different clinic because of my insurance. I can switch doctors within the clinic, and just pray i never see that doctor or nurse at delivery (1 in 6 chance).
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#9 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 10:21 AM
 
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Uh, are you going to be birthing w/these people? I would highly encourage you to find someone else. This situation is not beneficial to you at all and, actually, I find it potentially very harmful whether it be emotionally or physically. Birthing is an extremely vulnerable time - you don't want intolerant or abusive people with you do you? Do not do NOT sweep your feelings under the rug. Stand up for yourself.

I'm on my 4th pregnancy too and I've never seen a dr. Never. I think my past mws have run some plain blood tests but that's it. I have never had anything more complicated than the initial blood draw done. With this pregnancy I saw the mw (who I like very very much) 2 times and finally told her I felt my appts. were unnecessary and I wanted to uc. She totally understood and said she used her prenatal appts. to get to know the mom/couple for the most part and she saw no reason why I shouldn't do my own thing I call her when I feel the need and we mostly talk about practical things - like supplies and how to handle different birthing complications. I don't pee on anything or get my bp done and I certainly don't get weighed. Prenatal care is not as complicated as you think and there's a lot of unnecessary, even harmful, tests that drs. recommend. Relax. Take responsibility which, to me, means eating well, exercising, preparing for the birth however you feel led. Don't apologize or feel irresponsible b/c you don't want to do x,y, or z for your prenatal care. You know what you need

I used to love my mw appts. I liked to visit I think I tolerated all the bp, measuring, etc. just so I could go and chat about being pregnant and having a baby. I didn't stop going to the mw b/c I don't think she's great - she actually means alot to me the way she's supporting me right now. She's supporting me in the way I need not in the way protocol requires. I decide what the visit entails.

I've been recommending this book a lot but see if you can purchase or get The Power of Pleasurable Childbirth through an interlibrary loan. It's about ucing BUT I think all pregnant women would benefit from reading it. We have been so brainwashed to believe we have to do certain things during pregnancy/birth or to look for permission from hcp when we want things and it's just wrong. Plain and simple. It's more than a shift in perspective but it feels like women are really getting bullied and I, for one, hope that at some point we feel confident enough to say NO when we want to.

*You were posting while I was typing and I just read it. You shouldn't have to subject yourself to that kind of treatment or be fearful that you might see him/her again. I'm horrified. There has to be another choice. It is so wrong for women to have to make childbirth choices b/c of $$ or lack thereof. I hope something really great happens and you find yourself in a better situation. I really do.
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#10 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 10:31 AM
 
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oh wow Autumnbloom, that made me physically ill to read. I'm SO sorry you were treated that way . Bravo for you for reporting a complaint. It makes me want to cry that a pregnant woman would be treated that way.

Personally I think no doctor at all is better than an abusive one and I would not take the chance that he would be delivering my baby. Can you find a MW? They may be willing to do sliding scale and take payments if your insurance won't cover it. I simply would NOT go back to that clinic.

If he did make you bleed and you didn't end up seeing spotting, sometimes the blood pools there and comes out brown later..so don't freak if you see some old brown blood in a day or two ok?
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#11 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 10:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you - I hope that this isn't going to be an issue anymore (after reporting them to patient advocacy), but i'm afraid that one complaint isn't going to cut it for making sure this dr. and nurse dont ever see me again (much less repeat the behavior with other women).

We're a military family and they have made it abundantly clear that we can't go off post for prenatal care or they will refuse to see us (my whole family) for a year after the baby is born. I would say okay to this without a blink except that my oldest has special needs and it would also require copays out the wazoo that we can't afford right now. I'd rather her get the care she needs than not... if I have to pick between the two, she always comes first. It just sucks that there are so few choices.

There is one midwife in the clinic, but right now she is only working L&D, so no clinic hours. They are hoping to hire 2 more, but so far, no news on that front, which leaves me with the doctors.

That said, I'm considering the idea of calling any midwives that might be nearby and asking if they might be willing to work with me, and not bother with the insurance (just make payments as much as we can - ironically that would still be cheaper than paying copays for all of DD's treatment)
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#12 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 10:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you avivaelona! I'm JUST now starting to feel a little better physically. I was really sore yesterday, and have a little cramping today, but I'm praying its nothing more than bruising.

I talked to my mom about it and she said that if I do spot, not to freak out but to go to the ER anyway to have them check on the baby (at least look for the heartbeat) since he was so rough, and to get it on record that there were physical problems that arose from this doctor being so rough.

Hopefully it wont come to that at all, but I'm trying to be prepared.
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#13 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 10:48 AM
 
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autumnbloom!!

I can't believe that you were treated that way. All the things they put in your chart and to treat you like that are just unspeakable! I think it would be worth a try to call that midwife even if she is just doing L&D right now. That way you are covering your bases by staying on post and she may lend a sympathetic ear. I just don't know how anyone could hear your situation and not reach out to help. I think she could possibly help you if she really wants to.


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#14 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 12:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by autumnbloom View Post
We're a military family and they have made it abundantly clear that we can't go off post for prenatal care or they will refuse to see us (my whole family) for a year after the baby is born.
Um, I'm not military so I don't know for sure, but I do not believe that they can do this! I have heard of military moms going off-base for care without it affecting the rest of their family. They just may have had to pay out of pocket for the care that they got off-base. I would ask some of the other military mamas around here. The only person that they can *control* is the enlisted person. If that's not you, then they can't say boo about where you go.
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#15 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 01:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all your thoughts & hugs ladies!!

I called our insurance provider today and they told me that our care facility (the post hospital) sets the specific rules for care in our area (which seems backward to me, but what can I do?). If I go off post of my own accord, without a referral, its $300 deductible and 50% of the bill (and no guarantee they will pay for a midwife, though I'd hope so since they EMPLOY one).

The insurance company did say that nationally, I am *supposed* to be able to change just myself to a lower insurance (from prime to standard) rather than my whole family, but that I need to check with the local office to be sure.

I called the hospital to talk to the tricare office here and they told me that its walk-in-only which is practically impossible with a child in tow who has autism. I'm going to keep trying to call, and in the mean time, KEEP searching for a sitter.

I'm waiting on a call back from the patient advocacy office to see if I can work through them to get to Tricare, and if THEY can give me a referral or point me in the right direction so I can GET a referral off post, so that its not so much out of pocket.
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#16 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 01:23 PM
 
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Wow, that is sooo not right. I never had any appointments before 13-14 weeks, never any vag exams.
I'm very glad you filed a complaint. Their treatment of you was horrendous.

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#17 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 01:30 PM
 
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In addition to reporting them to their patient advocacy people, you can also contact the state medical board and file a complaint against them. If they get enough of those on file, they risk losing their license.
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#18 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 02:04 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you are going through all of this.....medical care is so pathetic in this country for a good majority of people.

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#19 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 03:44 PM
 
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That really, really stinks! s

My doctor is nice but I was feeling like maybe I didn't want to go back earlier in my pregnancy because things were going so well. Then I got sick with a very painful disease out of the blue and needed prescription medicine to resolve it. I now love my OB because he has the medicine that makes the pain stop. I will also need to continue seeing him because I work full-time and need my FMLA paperwork signed by him before and after the birth (one thing I didn't think of early on). So I still plan to have my homebirth with the MW but plan to see the OB too until the end.
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#20 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 06:22 PM
 
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Oh, no no no. YOU can call Tricare at any time and drop yourself from prime to standard, without changing the rest of your family. Actually, your DP may have to do it since (I'm assuming?) he's the sponsor. But either way, that is YOUR choice and not the mtf's choice. YOU would have to stay on standard for 1 year, but the copays are pretty low as long as you find a doc who accepts Tricare. And most practicing anywhere near a military base do, because they know they'll get paid.

That was horrible, the way you were treated and you have a right to not have to put up with that. Follow up on your complaint for as long as you need to. And know that you are a dependent, the miltary doesn't own you and you have the right to refuse anything
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#21 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 06:31 PM
 
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autumnbloom, I could not read your post without saying I'm so saddened by the way you were treated. I hope you are able to find a solution that allows you to feel respected while not hurting you financially. I'm so sorry.
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#22 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 07:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all so much!! I did get a hold of a midwife who sounded like a good match. I have a meeting with her next week. She said that she would even do a home birth with me, or I could go up there to the birthing center (YAYYYYY!). We have very similar belief systems about pregnancy/birth, and I think its going to be a better fit. She charges $2300 for everything (but doesn't include things like caring for the baby after, etc). *IF* tricare covers it, it would be $1300 out of pocket by my 37th week.

I can try to work (i own my own business and only work when I can/ want to / have clients LOL). It will take some advertizing and some hard work to get enough, but I might be able to pull it off! *crossing fingers & saying a prayer*
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#23 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 07:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by autumnbloom View Post
Thank you all so much!! I did get a hold of a midwife who sounded like a good match. I have a meeting with her next week. She said that she would even do a home birth with me, or I could go up there to the birthing center (YAYYYYY!). We have very similar belief systems about pregnancy/birth, and I think its going to be a better fit. She charges $2300 for everything (but doesn't include things like caring for the baby after, etc). *IF* tricare covers it, it would be $1300 out of pocket by my 37th week.

I can try to work (i own my own business and only work when I can/ want to / have clients LOL). It will take some advertizing and some hard work to get enough, but I might be able to pull it off! *crossing fingers & saying a prayer*
I wish you a lot of good luck and support! I strongly encourage you to do whatever possible to have the birth you need, and it sounds like you're doing just that!

I have to say too, I'm so impressed with how you're handling everything, what with calling your insurance company and finding a midwife (already!) and filing a complaint, all so quickly - you're so efficient! It really is impressive - I know I would still be sitting at home bawling and complaining and not wanting to deal with it if I had gone through what you did. You rule, seriously!

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#24 of 24 Old 05-22-2008, 07:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by autumnbloom View Post
We're a military family and they have made it abundantly clear that we can't go off post for prenatal care or they will refuse to see us (my whole family) for a year after the baby is born. I would say okay to this without a blink except that my oldest has special needs and it would also require copays out the wazoo that we can't afford right now. I'd rather her get the care she needs than not... if I have to pick between the two, she always comes first. It just sucks that there are so few choices.
You can drop to tricare standard, just you, and can still get the 100% global maternity authorization.

Quote:
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Oh, no no no. YOU can call Tricare at any time and drop yourself from prime to standard, without changing the rest of your family. Actually, your DP may have to do it since (I'm assuming?) he's the sponsor. But either way, that is YOUR choice and not the mtf's choice. YOU would have to stay on standard for 1 year, but the copays are pretty low as long as you find a doc who accepts Tricare.
This is what I've done for this pregnancy and myself and my doctor who is OUT of network just got our letters saying that I have NO copayments and that it is covered at 100% just like if I were prime. I don't know why they hide that you can do this but fwiw, there is an Army MTF that delivers babies right up the road. If I had stayed on prime, that's where I would have had to go.
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