SIL will likely have a c section--2 wks early - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 10-25-2003, 12:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm just fighting mad...

I posted about this a few weeks ago when I thought they were going to induce *4* weeks early, but apparently my FIL was mistaken (thank goodness!).

The sole reason for this c section is that, according to ultrasounds, the baby is "too big." Mama is healthy, baby is healthy, just big. WTF?

SIL wants to have a natural birth but it seems her Dr is unwilling to even let her try. The only way she'll be "allowed" to have this baby naturally is if, by some miracle, she spontaneously goes into labor 2+ weeks before her due date. This is highly unlikely as this is her first child.

This makes me so mad I just want to spit. I just know they're going to pull this baby out and it's going to be tiny and she'll have gone through major abdominal surgery for nothing...

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

peace, Beth
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#2 of 24 Old 10-25-2003, 02:18 PM
 
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OMG that is horrible!!!! Especially considering U/S are notoriously wrong for predicting size of the baby. Maybe she should get a new dr.? (I know it's late but it's been done) I just don't understand how they can *MAKE* you get sectioned? DOesn't she have to consent to that? That makes me just sick!!!

((((Beth))))

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#3 of 24 Old 10-25-2003, 02:22 PM
 
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In the end it is your sil's call. She is consenting to iut by staying with a dr. who doesn't have her best intrest at heart. i get sick of hearing women say "my doctor won't let me. For the love, he isn't your mother and you are not a child. You don't need anyones permissiona dn if a health care provider won't treat you the way you wish to be treated find someone else to consult with. I would encourage her to find a new Dr. I convinced a total stranger to switch her MW in the last month of her preg and it was the best choice she ever made. She was able to deliver natrually with no drugs and would have surly had a c-birth with the other less qualified, more medical MW. It is never too late to change health care providers. It is her body, her pregnancy and her baby and her birth.

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#4 of 24 Old 10-25-2003, 02:27 PM
 
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I just heard about a case like this...the Dr.'s scared my friend's sister into believing her child was close to 10 lbs and urged a c-section. My friend tried to talk her out of it, but their mother was spooked out too and urged the sister to listen to the dr and "have it out" surgically. The baby turned out to be 7 lbs something ounces...Do you think they apologized to her for being more than 2 lbs off and causing her to have unnecessary surgery?? I highly doubt it.

OBGYNs get away with unnecessary surgery all the time...and nobody says boo about it. If it was an internist who told you one of your organs was enlarged and needed to go in and do something about it, and then turned out to be wrong, they'd be sued. In GYN practises, the OB does the surgery out of fear of BEING sued.

Maybe if someone tried to sue them for unnecessary c sections, they'd be a little less cavalier about their unreliable U/S diagnostics and scare tactics..

Sorry for the rant but I'm p.o.'d anyway today....
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#5 of 24 Old 10-25-2003, 02:57 PM
 
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Sounds like a crock of $@%(&@ to me.

If baby is TOO big, and they're planning a c-section anyway, why not wait till the due date? At the very least, let baby have those last couple of weeks. It really doesn't sound right, is this doctor planning a vacation or something?
Or is her due date like over Thanksgiving or something?

My son was a c-section, because of being footling breech, and a week before he was born they told me he weighed around 6 pounds, that was 3 weeks before my due date, the doctor didn't "schedule" the c-section he left it up to my body to go into labor, which I did two weeks early and one week after the u/s predicted the 6 pound weight..... he weighed 8.7
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#6 of 24 Old 10-25-2003, 03:00 PM
 
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double post

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#7 of 24 Old 10-25-2003, 03:35 PM
 
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Tell her not to show up. They can't operate if she's not there! What are they going to do, call her at home and tell her she's being very rude?
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#8 of 24 Old 10-25-2003, 05:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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If baby is TOO big, and they're planning a c-section anyway, why not wait till the due date?
That's what I'm wondering. It was my understanding that labor is *good* for the baby, even if you do end up with a c section.

As for changing Dr's, I'm not sure if that *is* an option for her. She's been working with a team of midwives and Dr's and I'm not sure she has much of a choice about who she sees. She lives in London and their health care system is different than ours. I suspect she would have to pay out of pocket for a different hcp.

Urgh. It just sucks.

peace, Beth
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#9 of 24 Old 10-26-2003, 12:29 AM
 
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Can you at least let her know what a risk she runs of prematurity? If most first babies are on "average" 8 days over due (don't get me started about what that means about the accuracy of due dates : ) they could be taking her baby 3 weeks early!

If she's going to get a section no matter what, the least they can do is wait until her due date or let her go into labor. What difference would it make if she's going to have the section either way??

I don't buy that she has to have a section because of the British health care system; they have midwives who do home water births paid for by the National Health Service over there!

Can you send her Henci Goer's The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth? She is putting herself, her baby, and her future babies at higher risk because of this bad advice and bad decision she's making.

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#10 of 24 Old 10-26-2003, 10:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, I know they have some very good midwives over there--in fact, her original plan was to have a homebirth. I think at this point her care has been turned over to an OB and I'm not sure she can get away from him.

Another sticky part of the situation is that I feel like her husband is in favor of the c section. Other posters have referred to "her decision" to have the c section, but he has a lot of influence too. It is *their* decision as a family.

I'll do what I can to help her understand that there are risks, but if this is a decision they have already made and feel confident about, I don't want to be the alarmist SIL and make them worry more than they have to.

Thanks for all your advice, everyone.

peace, Beth
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#11 of 24 Old 10-26-2003, 11:19 AM
 
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Beth- I forgot to say in my post yesterday that your SIL should check out ICAN,, they have a great support list too..

http://www.ican-online.org/

and yes she can DEFINITLY get away from this horrible OB, it's not too late! it's her birth & her body after all.

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#12 of 24 Old 10-26-2003, 11:24 AM
 
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I can sympathize, my sis had a convienance c section 3 weeks early because she wanted time to recover before xmas :
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#13 of 24 Old 10-26-2003, 12:53 PM
 
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That's terrible. The midwives I work with take new clients at any time. If she really and truly wants a natural birth, hopefully she could find someone in time. Otherwise, I hope she can focus her joy on a healthy baby in spite of undesirable circumstances. I hope all goes well, whatever the case.
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#14 of 24 Old 10-26-2003, 08:06 PM
 
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Same thing happend to my SIL. Scared the bejebers out of her telling her about her "macrosomic" (too big) baby that was over *9 lbs* (: ) and could "get stuck and die". Agreed to a c/sec for her baby that turned out to be (drum roll please) ***6-15***!!!!!

I'm an L&D nurse and there have been many times that the OB has secduled a c/sec or induction (which have a greater chance of ending in a c/sec) for a "macrosomic" baby and they come out 7 lbs. Or the mom does have the baby at 9 (or sometimes even 10) lbs and delivers without a problem. We have one OB that we still tease about a woman he secduled for a c/sec (her 3rd baby, and the first 2 she delivered vag. w/o a problem) and she had such a fast labor (before the scheduled date) she wound up delivering her 10 lbs + baby in the parking garage!
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#15 of 24 Old 10-28-2003, 04:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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For those of you still following the saga...

BIL just called to say SIL is in the labor ward. She had some bloody show and just happened to have a Dr appt today. They told her her cervix was thin and sent her on to the hospital. Is it my imagination, or is this Dr sort of alarmist? I suspect they will either spend several hours in the hospital for nothing, or, since she's already there, they might just go ahead and induce (which is what I fully expect to happen).

At any rate, we'll probably get to see just how "big" this baby is soon.

peace, Beth
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#16 of 24 Old 10-28-2003, 04:58 PM
 
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they induced my sis (who didnt even know the date of conception, or have any IDEA when she conceived the baby) because the baby was too big. on the date THEY decided she was due. It was a month long thing, she kept telling me how big the baby is, how big she measured, how big the unltrasounds said....and finally they induced her, and the baby was 6 pounds 3 oz, but the worst thing was that he didnt even 'look' ready to be born...I felt so bad for him.

she wasnt innocent in all this, she liked playing the patient, it was a very 'dramatic' pregnancy, even if uneventful. She liked the attention and fuss.
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#17 of 24 Old 10-28-2003, 05:10 PM
 
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and I hate to be mouthy but how is an elective c-section (you said mom and baby are healthy) her dh's decision, or a 'family' decision? is he the one getting cut open for no reason? I would understand them both making the decision if someone was in danger, because then if affects him as well, or if they had a vacation planned or if he couldnt get off work in 2 weeks but only now, etc.... but why would he decide his wife should get a c-section 2 weeks early? who is he, Michael Jackson?:LOL

I have alot of elective and 'not really needed but they were told they were' c-sec's in my family/friends, and I dont sweat it..it may not be what I would want or do, and maybe a bit dangerous for mom, and not as natural and less evasive as i would like, but its their birth and their body's, and they can do as they choose (altough those drugs are influencing the baby, which may step ove rthat fine line of 'only effecting them and their bodies')

I just cant stand it when docs or others tell women they cant or shouldnt birth thier babies for no reason!!!!

good luck to your SIL and BIL, and especially to their baby!
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#18 of 24 Old 10-28-2003, 06:38 PM
 
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Beth, if it's not too late, I know I've seen somewhere a study that talked about c-sections for macrosomic infants. I can try to look it up again if you'd like. BEing a pregnant diabetic it's an issue I'm trying to educate myself on here, too.

I would also like to say to everyone that if you truly have the option of informed consent, please feel lucky. If you are determined "high risk" for any reason, your options decrease dramatically. Doctors can refuse to treat you if they feel you are not making the best health choices (i.e. following their advice). And if you are high-risk the number of doctors who will treat you is very small to begin with--and midwives, by and large, will not touch you.

I know this because I am in a similar situation. I was told at my first prenatal appointment at the high risk clinic at 15w (which was not presented to me as an option, but as my only option for prenatal care) that one of the "good things" about being diabetic is they will not "let you" go past 40 weeks. All of my subsequent appointments, when I have tried to bring it up again, I've been told again that they will not "let me" go past 40 weeks. Any attempt at discussion and negotiation on this subject has been met with a run-around.

Anyway, like I said, those of us in a situation deemed "high risk" (and this likely includes a woman whose infant has been determined macrosomic) have markedly fewer choices and fewer opportunities for saying "no."
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#19 of 24 Old 10-29-2003, 10:53 AM
 
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Joining a little late here, as it sounds she may be already having the baby?

Anyway, I am a c-birth mama, and I have to say, u/s determined both of my babies to be at least a pound heavier than they were, also- my ds was born at 39 weeks (I was in labor) and nursed beautifully, whereas my dd, taken at 38 weeks had a really hard time nursing (I really think it is a direct relationship between being ready to come out and nursing). I am planning to go into labor before this c-section, and my OB is totally supportive of that. Unless there is something we don't know here, her OB sounds like a real A$$!

Let us know how things go.

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#20 of 24 Old 10-29-2003, 12:46 PM
 
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I've been following.....so what happened???

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#21 of 24 Old 11-04-2003, 11:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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***Update***

SIL had a 7lb 8oz little boy on Sunday--2 1/2 wks early according to her edd, which I think now may have been off, only because this is her first babe and it's unusual to spontaneously go into labor that early with the first. I don't think the size indicates that he would have been overly huge--maybe 8 1/2 lbs if born "on time"?

Her water broke at 2am, they went straight to the hospital and she gave birth naturally, no drugs, 16 hrs later. The midwife told them they would be excellent candidates for a homebirth next time, which is what they will likely do.

I'm so happy things turned out the way they did.

It does seem a bit unfair, though, that she got to have her baby first. Her I am, 4 day past my edd, waiting patiently...

peace, Beth
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#22 of 24 Old 11-04-2003, 11:14 AM
 
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I'm sorry you are still waiting but I'm glad that she went on her own.

And the size of her babe means nothing about size in another 2 weeks. My ds was 7 12 and they told us he would have been 8.5 pounds had he been at his due date.

I hope you go soon!!!

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#23 of 24 Old 11-10-2003, 04:36 AM
 
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Wow, that's awesome news! From scheduled early c-section to natural undrugged delivery....that's quite a leap! I venture to say it wouldn't have happened in this country.

I hope you're nursing a newborn yourself, Beth!

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#24 of 24 Old 11-13-2003, 01:48 AM
 
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Good golly I never hear that the biophsical profile was under ehat the baby weighed I am very glad I didn't have one before I had DD#2 my midwife would have paniced for sure(she wieghed 9# 12 ounces!!!)
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