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#61 of 167 Old 08-10-2009, 11:20 PM
 
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Welcome. I see you joined MDC four days ago. Is it a concern for you that it might be difficult after such a short period to speak accurately about the feelings of a whole group of people?
It probably would have been more accurate to say "it feels to me".

And I've lurked on here for along time. I was only recently motivated to sign up and start posting.
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#62 of 167 Old 08-10-2009, 11:23 PM
 
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I don't think it matters. Kids are kids.

I think the problem is that it feels like the regular posters in the gifted forum don't think that advice from parents of non gifted children has any value. So they only want advice from other parents of gifted kids. That's kind of hurtful.

Not everything a gifted child does is because they are gifted.
But... if unschoolers ask about boredom, are they insulting all the other parents as if their kids are never bored?

Or are they acknowledging something unique to their situation, like that there is societal pressure on them that unschooling=bored sloppy kids? So they want to hear from people who are experiencing very similar pressure?

I don't get it. Sure, kids are kids, but I know nothing about dealing with an autistic kid, so I can propose all the GD solutions I want but all I may end up doing is frustrating that person - who is posting 'cause she needs and wants some support and help. I don't feel like her not asking me is an insult. Y'know?

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#63 of 167 Old 08-10-2009, 11:27 PM
 
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That would likely be moved to Gentle Discipline where there are people with extensive knowledge on normal childhood development and may have techniques that could assist you.
bolded mine...

but isn't part of the point that gifted children's development is not "normal?"

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#64 of 167 Old 08-10-2009, 11:37 PM
 
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An analogy... People who post about the difficulty of nursing through pregnancy or nursing a five-year-old in the Child-Led Weaning forum are obviously looking for support and specific advice from people who didn't do parent-led weaning. Yes, there might be something useful said in the Breastfeeding forum, but there would likely be encouragement to wean and a lack of understanding for the "CLW package," which the poster would need to dispel/explain in the OP. The CLW forum is made to be "safe" from people who don't agree with that approach, and avoids the need for the poster to give/defend the whole CLW backstory with every post. When someone poses a straightforward breastfeeding question in CLW, it is assumed that the person posted there because they would like responses that have to do with the topic "CLW" and do not include advice on how to wean. How is that different than this?

IMO, the following are prime examples of why moving threads out of the PTGC forum is not a great idea:

This thread was active and then received no responses after the thread was moved.

This thread was worded in a way that was interpreted as offensive in the forum to which it was moved.

And speaking of the idea that
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People should not post differently to one forum than they would to another.
This issue comes up all over the board regularly, IMO. e.g., I would not bash school or suggest a person start homeschooling if someone were complaining about their kid's school in the Learning At School forum. But if the same thread were posted in the Learning at Home forum, I would. Likewise, it seems much more acceptable to be harsh on artificial baby milk in the Lactivism forum than in the Breastfeeding Challenges forum.

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#65 of 167 Old 08-10-2009, 11:46 PM
 
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I don't think it matters. Kids are kids.
but i'm going to hazard a guess and say you would NOT make this comment to someone whose child is on the spectrum, or has cerebral palsy, or is tube fed.

to an extent, kids are kids. but when you look at it WRT special needs kids in the more "conventional" sense, "kids are kids" is a gross oversight.

is it offensive when parents of spectrum kids post in SN instead of in the childhood years? are the parents of non-spectrum kids all offended, thinking "why don't they want my advice?"

if not, why not?

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#66 of 167 Old 08-10-2009, 11:52 PM
 
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Safe as in:



Honestly, alot of people come to gifted children boards because they feel like no one else understands. They post there because it feels like a safe place where they will be given the benefit of the doubt that they are truly following their child needs the best that they can and there are other people who understand. They have often gotten the above comments and worse in real life and on other boards. When posts get moved it feels like there is now just one more person who doesn't get it and doesn't understand and makes the whole place fell less "safe"

:

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#67 of 167 Old 08-10-2009, 11:56 PM
 
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Something in the gifted forum changed. A number of weeks ago posts started getting moved that in the past would have stayed. The change was noticed, and people are reacting.

I will admit to being a poster who frequents very few forums and the gifted forum is one of the few I actually post on. I rarely stray outside of there or 'schooling' because that is where my focus is now. I do not feel pressured to move beyond my own immediate needs and venture much further. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the sheer amounts of posts in other forums and don't have the time to wade through them. It's easier for me to stick to the specifics of what I need right now.

I will post the PTGC forum's sub-title here:

"The Gifted board is a forum of support, respectful requests of information, and sharing of ideas and experiences. To uphold this purpose the board will not host discussions of debate or criticism. Disagreements about gifted issues should be set aside out of respect for the diversity and varying interpretations and beliefs that we hold as a community."

This is why I post there as this guarantee is not offered to me anywhere else on MDC. I have no clue if either of our kids are gifted or not and no one on PTGC has ever asked or questioned my legitimacy for being there. I have actually been open about our lack of official ID and do not refer to our kids as gifted IRL. I post there, and I feel the purpose of the forum was to ensure that people had a safe place to go without fear of combative rebuttals. It is not because I only want advice from people who have gifted kids. It is because of the above quote, which ensures that I will be given a peaceful response.

There are things that I would post in that forum that I would not post in others, I will admit to that. The reason being is that I have seen flames over giftedness happen outside of PTGC on MDC. Search them if you must, but they aren't fun and I avoid negativity where I can. Much as in real life, it's a can of worms I sometimes do not wish to open due to negative response. When I can go to a forum and have a guarantee as above it offers me peace of mind. I do not play comparison games with children, nor do I wish to be dragged into any. I sometimes feel concerned that with the moving of posts I am opening myself up to the possibility of a 'gifted' flame war. It has nothing to do with not wanting people's advice, it's about protecting myself.

FWIW I came to MDC for the old gifted thread that used to be in the special needs forum. It was the best place we ever received advice on how to deal with our perfectionist 4 year old. It is what keeps drawing me back as the kiddos grow.
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#68 of 167 Old 08-10-2009, 11:58 PM
 
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but i'm going to hazard a guess and say you would NOT make this comment to someone whose child is on the spectrum, or has cerebral palsy, or is tube fed.

to an extent, kids are kids. but when you look at it WRT special needs kids in the more "conventional" sense, "kids are kids" is a gross oversight.

is it offensive when parents of spectrum kids post in SN instead of in the childhood years? are the parents of non-spectrum kids all offended, thinking "why don't they want my advice?"

if not, why not?
I think a few issues are being confused.

It doesn't sound, to me, like the moderators want to remove the gifted forum. It clearly has a place. Just as the SN forum is a place for parents to discuss SN issues.

I think the concern, from what I've read on this thread and what I've read before, is that parents are refusing to see that something their "gifted" child does could be ordinary enough for parents of regular children to help them with.
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#69 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 12:04 AM
 
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I think the concern, from what I've read on this thread and what I've read before, is that parents are refusing to see that something their "gifted" child does could be ordinary enough for parents of regular children to help them with.

And this sort of additude (that parents of gifted kids are exaggerating their kids' issues, or that their kids aren't really "gifted") is one reason why some parents might not want to post some things on the main parenting forum.
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#70 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 12:07 AM
 
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I think a few issues are being confused.

It doesn't sound, to me, like the moderators want to remove the gifted forum. It clearly has a place. Just as the SN forum is a place for parents to discuss SN issues.

I think the concern, from what I've read on this thread and what I've read before, is that parents are refusing to see that something their "gifted" child does could be ordinary enough for parents of regular children to help them with.
If the moderators feel that it's their job to "make parents see" that they & their kids are not as special as they think they are* (which is what you seem to be saying) then I would feel really, really bad for and about MDC. But I don't think that is what is happening... at least I hope not, because in my years here I've found this to be a well-moderated place.

* ETA: Just to be clear, I don't think that, just saying it sort of starts to sound that way.

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#71 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 12:07 AM
 
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And this sort of additude (that parents of gifted kids are exaggerating their kids' issues, or that their kids aren't really "gifted") is one reason why some parents might not want to post some things on the main parenting forum.
That's not what I said.
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#72 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 12:08 AM
 
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well, when you put "gifted" in quotes, it makes people wonder how you feel about kids being called "gifted" at all.
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#73 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 12:08 AM
 
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I think the concern, from what I've read on this thread and what I've read before, is that parents are refusing to see that something their "gifted" child does could be ordinary enough for parents of regular children to help them with.
The other way to look at it is the mods and others failing to respect an OP's sense that the issue being raised IS somehow connected to giftedness, and thus better suited to this forum than another.

I would wager that many who post to this forum on some issues post to others for other things - thus demonstrating that we are quite willing to see the normal, ordinary (and of course, no less wonderful and lovable) aspects of our children and their childhoods! I'm grateful to many MDC forums that have helped me in many different aspects of mothering.

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#74 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 12:35 AM
 
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Unless something was *really* out of place -- like someone asking a question about their 3-year-old in the parenting teens forum -- I gave my members the freedom and assumed they had the intelligence and common sense to post where it suited them best. I saw my job as to gently guide posters who were new or consistently had difficulty in the forums (because there are always a few), but I didn't make it my business to scrutinize and pick apart every single post. That's a Sysyphian task and in the long run, it doesn't actually benefit the community. Rather the opposite.
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The other way to look at it is the mods and others failing to respect an OP's sense that the issue being raised IS somehow connected to giftedness, and thus better suited to this forum than another.


YES to all that!
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#75 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 12:43 AM
 
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I just wanted to say after reading all the passionate responses here, I feel bad saying, "I don't know why there is a gifted forum. I get it now. *I* may not, personally, need a specific venue for asking questions about my children (even though if I do say so myself, I think they are super bright ) I can understand the desire to feel safe, feel understood, feel respected and most importantly, feel comfortable when you are looking for advice or want to share something special about your child.

So, I apologize : for not getting it and babbling my random thoughts. I lurk on that forum from time to time, and didn't realize the recent changes and frequent moving of posts.

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#76 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 12:51 AM
 
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Interesting discussion.

abimommy was kind enough to moderate the Gifted forum while the moderator (HeatherB ) was on vacation. abimommy noticed there were a few threads that were better suited to other areas. Threads were moved with redirects and members contacted. She then revised the guidelines to better reflect the purpose of the forum which is parenting the gifted child and to reflect issues we've had ongoing concerns about regarding baby threads. It's nothing nefarious. We then received complaints that the guidelines were still unclear, so I went in and revised them again. We do, contrary to what some might think, listen to feedback and respond as best we can.

People naturally want to post where they feel comfortable, which is great and comfort is such an important part of a community, except that posting wherever one wants to post is just not practical on a board of this size. We are simply asking, for the sake of organization, that infant or toddler topics be placed in LWAB or Toddlers because the focus of the Gifted forum is not on babies. If you will look at the PTGC forum, very few threads have actually been moved, and we are not planning on moving out threads willy-nilly. We're requesting that topics that are not specifically about parenting a gifted child be placed in the more appropriate forum. It doesn't seem like an unreasonable request to me, and I'm sincerely sorry if it feels that way to anyone.

I have retired from administration work, so if you have a question about anything MDC-related, please contact Cynthia Mosher. Thanks!
 
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#77 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 12:58 AM
 
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There is growing concern with the gifted forum.

It seems like there is an increasing desire of the forum participants to seperate themselves from the rest of the board. This is contrary to the guidelines the moderators have of moving threads that are off topic or fit within other forums.

We see a lot of comments that people in other forums "cannot" relate to their issues or that they would have worded things differently had they been aware their thread would have been in another forum.

People should not post differently to one forum than they would to another.

Questions about books belongs in that forum, if one desires opinions from parents of young readers then they should state they want opinions from younger readers. It doesn't really belong in the gifted forum.

There is a growing number of people who do have gifted children who do not post to the forum because of all the negativity towards what might be perceived as "normal."

A guideline was added to the forum in order to reduce the debate, but the intent of that was not to create a perception that the forum is "more safe" than the others. That was to reduce the number of people telling each other whether or not a child is gifted.

Thank you for the clarification Georgia. The above post seemed to suggest that there was a larger issue.
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#78 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 01:00 AM
 
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I'm starting to really worry after reading through all of these replies. I'm imagining if I have to re-direct my posts to "more appropriate" forums that I'm going to sound something like this:

In the GD forum: My gifted 3 yr old is throwing a tantrum because there is a speck on his drawing paper. (may or may not be due to giftedness, but it is still an important detail.)

Or in Nighttime parenting: My 3 yr old is up until midnight doing math problems in his head and I can't get him to rest his body and mind, any suggestions? Oh, and he's gifted, if that helps.

When you're in the gifted forum, the giftedness is presumed and you don't have to state it and sound like "that parent." That is why I come to the gifted forum here, because IRL I am "that parent." No one relates, they get defensive, and I end up feeling terrible because I have inadvertantly insulted a friend!

I think the "P.S. he's gifted" tag line would rub alot of parents the wrong way, yet it would be necessary to give the whole picture to the situation.

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#79 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 01:01 AM
 
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And this sort of additude (that parents of gifted kids are exaggerating their kids' issues, or that their kids aren't really "gifted") is one reason why some parents might not want to post some things on the main parenting forum.
:

-Angela
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#80 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 01:06 AM
 
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Interesting discussion.

abimommy was kind enough to moderate the Gifted forum while the moderator (HeatherB ) was on vacation. abimommy noticed there were a few threads that were better suited to other areas. Threads were moved with redirects and members contacted. She then revised the guidelines to better reflect the purpose of the forum which is parenting the gifted child and to reflect issues we've had ongoing concerns about regarding baby threads. It's nothing nefarious. We then received complaints that the guidelines were still unclear, so I went in and revised them again. We do, contrary to what some might think, listen to feedback and respond as best we can.

People naturally want to post where they feel comfortable, which is great and comfort is such an important part of a community, except that posting wherever one wants to post is just not practical on a board of this size. We are simply asking, for the sake of organization, that infant or toddler topics be placed in LWAB or Toddlers because the focus of the Gifted forum is not on babies. If you will look at the PTGC forum, very few threads have actually been moved, and we are not planning on moving out threads willy-nilly. We're requesting that topics that are not specifically about parenting a gifted child be placed in the more appropriate forum. It doesn't seem like an unreasonable request to me, and I'm sincerely sorry if it feels that way to anyone.

Thank you for the clarification. However, I'm having trouble pinning it down- are we not allowed to discuss gifted toddlers now? Because there are many situations that do arise that are related to giftedness in toddlers. Is there a cut off between toddler and child?

What about gifted teens? Are they still allowed to be discussed?

It seems a little like this forum is being picked on... Special needs isn't limited to only certain years of age.

Truly trying to understand.

-Angela
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#81 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 01:06 AM
 
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She then revised the guidelines to better reflect the purpose of the forum which is parenting the gifted child and to reflect issues we've had ongoing concerns about regarding baby threads.

<snip>

We are simply asking, for the sake of organization, that infant or toddler topics be placed in LWAB or Toddlers because the focus of the Gifted forum is not on babies.
so how old does your child need to be for you to post on PTGC?

not trying to be a smartypants, but...a gifted child starts out as a gifted baby and toddler. certainly parents of gifted babies/toddlers have issues related to that as well. extremely early talkers/readers, kids who are ID'ing letters and numbers as young toddlers, kids who take apart their parents' VCRs before their 2nd birthday, or just plain "my kid is different" threads... all these can be very helpful.

i hate to keep coming back to this analogy, but IMO it makes about as much sense to have an age cut-off for PTGC as it does to have one for the SN forum--or for that matter, family safety, or gentle discipline. just as safety pertains to all ages, and SN as well, and GD to an extent...so too do giftedness issues, particularly for those of us who are gifted adults struggling with how to manage our child(ren)'s upbringing/education, and our own feelings around that.

i see why you don't want to host 10 million threads like, "is my 2 week old gifted?" but honestly, there are very few threads like that.

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#82 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 01:08 AM
 
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So, let me get this straight: MDC has a policy that babies and toddlers are not gifted? Or that they don't have issues related to giftedness? And no threads regarding babies and toddlers are allowed in the MDC forum? Is my 3 year old allowed to be gifted? Or does she have to wait a few years?

I am so confused. What are the "ongoing concerns regarding baby threads" of which you speak??? We rarely see baby threads over on the PTGC forum, and when we do the vast majority of responses are something like, "Your baby does seem bright. It's probably too soon to tell if he or she is gifted, though. " I don't see why this would be something anyone ought to have ongoing concerns about. :
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#83 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 01:14 AM
 
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I lurk and sometimes post in the PTGC forum, and have been surprised by how many threads have been moved away recently.

I GET the idea that MDC wants posts generally put to the basic parenting forums when they apply there, and I THINK that is what the current moderating is about, but I also think that a lot of the moves miss the mark there. I think many threads were very intentionally put in the gifted forum, and I also personally think they'd do best left there.

I have found something in the PTGC forum that I haven't found anywhere else online - I guess I didn't know I wanted it until I found it here, but I really appreciate it... insightful and challenging discussion about some very specific parenting and schooling issues. A lot of what I have found in the PTGC forum has been helping me understand and process my past, and consider how it affects how I parent.

I hope that the current moderators can reconsider how they are choosing to moderate the forum to allow free, comfortable discussion to continue.

Tjej

ETA: I wrote my post before Georgia's clarification. I want to say, that what I have seen moved has not been about babies.
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#84 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 01:21 AM
 
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Hello,

Sorry I didn't respond for several pages. I am on vacation in a different time zone.

We have been going through forums and reorganizing and refocusing them. I was just looking at the Gifted forum, it isn't being picked on. It has already been done in several of the forums

I will slowly work my way through the thread and respond to some of the comments.

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#85 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 01:39 AM
 
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Whatever forum you would choose, the fact is YOU would choose where to move the thread. The fact my child is acting out is because of how he works, and that might not be addressed appropriately, in terms of how a gifted child might act. I alread KNOW how to GD and don't need to discuss that issue, so why would it be moved there? The issue is how to stimulate him without overstimulating or saying the wrong thing to set him off, and that is a gifted issue in his case.

(ETA: This is only an example, and I haven't posted about this issue. Yet.)

And you are saying for every one post, I must post 2 posts in order to reach the audience I *choose* to reach?
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People should not post differently to one forum than they would to another.

Questions about books belongs in that forum, if one desires opinions from parents of young readers then they should state they want opinions from younger readers. It doesn't really belong in the gifted forum.



I am very, very concerned about this.
From some of the response I'm reading, I'm concerned that there is a lack of understand of what giftedness entails. Giftedness is not about just about being smart.
The Columbus group definition is particularly telling.

Giftedness is asynchronous development in which advanced cognitive abilities and heightened intensity combine to create inner experiences and awareness that are qualitatively different from the norm. This asynchrony increases with higher intellectual capacity. The uniqueness of the gifted renders them particularly vulnerable and requires modifications in parenting, teaching and counseling in order for them to develop optimally. (The Columbus Group, 1991).




People shouldn't post differently from one forum to another? I honestly do not understand. If I wasn't going to post differently, than why is there even a gifted forum? I'm not even sure I understand what should be posted in a gifted forum then. A question on a book, is a very classic item a gifted parent would want input from other gifted parents on, and is a question I've seen on any gifted forum I have ever read.

As the definition states above gifted are particularly vulnerable.
If I have a 5 year old who is reading at a 4th grade level, and need to find an age appropriate book for that child, that isn't going to emotionally affect them, then a community of gifted parents that have BTDT with their children are the best people to answer that question, because they have dealt with that issue before. I have posted these sorts of questions on other generic forums before, and the response I have gotten have never been sufficient as to what I would get from those that have dealt with this.




Understand I'm not being 'elitist', I'm not criticizing, I'm just trying to help folks understand here.
The above I find beyond concerning.

The above is absolutely about being gifted, and being gifted is NOT normal childhood development. That is what folks are saying here.
GIfted is special needs.
I have a child that is 6 and almost 7 that will melt down screaming, hitting, enraged, slamming doors.
This is all about the special needs of gifted.
This happens to her because

a) Overexcitabilites. These are far more prone in the gifted population compared to the norm. The book Living with INtensties talks greatly about Dabrowski's Overexcitabilities and the gifted. It has to do with a gifted child is often 'more'. They are 'more' intellectual, they are 'more' imaginational, they are 'more' emotinoally intense. In fact a very good article on gifted is one called Intensitive, which combines the word intensive with sensitive and talks about these within the gifted child.

b) Reactive hypoglycemia. This is something that happens with intense gifted kids. Why? Because these kids will deplete their sugar stores far more rapidly than the norm. Even if a child does not have reactive hypoglycemia, the reality is many gifted kids have so much mental processing going on that they deplete those stores quickly.

So, my daughter has a meltdown. The Gentle Discipline board can't help me with the issue, because that is not what the issue is related to. This IS a gifted issue. The issue is related to the OE's of a gifted child, and because my child on a normal day of processing goes through her sugar stores faster than the norm because of the amount of processing happening in the gifted brain, and during a growth spurt it goes through it that much more.

Information that I've gotten from parents on gifted board is what has helped me with it. Talking with parents in my daughter's gifted class, the one's that have kids hitting all five of those OE's strongly, understand EXACTLY what I'm going through, and the tips of how to deal with these strong OE's, and meltdowns. This is not knowledge as part of 'normal childhood development', but information I've only, ONLY learned and discovered through books specific to gifted, and gifted boards.

This isn't about creating an inclusive board, but having a board with a knowledge base of gifted children.
Giftedness is NOT just about that IQ factor.


Please, please explain what is 'acceptable' then to discuss?

I can't ask about input for unschooling a gifted child. If I can't ask for that, it seems I can't ask for input about schooling my gifted child since that is another board.
Does that mean that a parent with a special needs child that is autistic has to go to the school board to ask about schooling their special needs child, and then link back to the special needs board?


I go to the special needs board and one of the first topics that comes up is
"Any suggestions to calm down high energy 3 yr old? "
and another...
"Anxiety & negative behaviour with other kids (very long)"

Why is that acceptable on a special needs board, but an analogous thread about asking about dealing with meltdowns in a gifted child isnt' acceptable on a gifted board??

In my personal view BOTH are fine, because BOTH are dealing with special needs that the parents of a special needs child, whether gifted or autistic is in the best position to answer. It doesn't mean others might not have input, but just as a parent of an autistic child would want input from parents of autistic children when dealing with meltdowns, anxiety, negative behavior, so would a parent of a gifted child.

I do not understand the double standard in regards to these sorts of items aren't acceptable for a gifted board, but are acceptable for a special needs board, when the reality this is all part and parcel to what giftedness is. To me all I can conclude is that there is a lack of understanding that giftedness also entails far more than just a raw IQ number.

Tammy
There is obviously a definition of Gifted being used here that isn't being used by the staff.

We aren't going to debate the issue of what is and is not "gifted" but this is really not something that the forum was set up to address.

If an issue seems to belong in a different forum it will be moved.

A question about hypoglycemia would be moved to H&H and not be hosted in PTGC jut as a question about behavioral issues would be moved to GD.

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#86 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 01:44 AM
 
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There is obviously a definition of Gifted being used here that isn't being used by the staff.
What is the definition of gifted that the staff is using that conflicts with what you're quoting here? What does the MDC staff see as the purpose of the gifted forum?
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#87 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 01:51 AM
 
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Interesting discussion.

abimommy was kind enough to moderate the Gifted forum while the moderator (HeatherB ) was on vacation. abimommy noticed there were a few threads that were better suited to other areas. Threads were moved with redirects and members contacted. She then revised the guidelines to better reflect the purpose of the forum which is parenting the gifted child and to reflect issues we've had ongoing concerns about regarding baby threads. It's nothing nefarious. We then received complaints that the guidelines were still unclear, so I went in and revised them again. We do, contrary to what some might think, listen to feedback and respond as best we can.

People naturally want to post where they feel comfortable, which is great and comfort is such an important part of a community, except that posting wherever one wants to post is just not practical on a board of this size. We are simply asking, for the sake of organization, that infant or toddler topics be placed in LWAB or Toddlers because the focus of the Gifted forum is not on babies. If you will look at the PTGC forum, very few threads have actually been moved, and we are not planning on moving out threads willy-nilly. We're requesting that topics that are not specifically about parenting a gifted child be placed in the more appropriate forum. It doesn't seem like an unreasonable request to me, and I'm sincerely sorry if it feels that way to anyone.
Georgia, if the intent is simply that if a person with a gifted toddler asks, what cloth diaper do you think is best, then I understand that being posted to the appropriate board.

I perfectly understand that, and I think many of the people here would understand that.

Where the concern is coming from are statements such as the following from MDC moderators/administrators.

People should not post differently to one forum than they would to another.

Questions about books belongs in that forum, if one desires opinions from parents of young readers then they should state they want opinions from younger readers. It doesn't really belong in the gifted forum.


and




Quote:
There are so many issues that are gifted but do not seem that way at first glance. For example, my middle child is extreme. He is intense and emotional and sensitive. He has a meltdown a day about one thing or another. From the outside, someone might think he just has behaviour problems and might "move him" to childhood years, but that's not the case. He is the way he is because of how his system and mind work, and yes, from being gifted (and asynchronous).
How would moving my thread about him (which is hypothetical) to childhood years benefit me or my son?


That would likely be moved to Gentle Discipline where there are people with extensive knowledge on normal childhood development and may have techniques that could assist you.

If you wanted input from those who post in the gifted forum and would like to direct them to your thread then you could post to the gifted forum in order to direct them to the thread in GD.




Georgia, what people are trying to point out is that in those specific examples ARE/WERE specific to parenting a gifted child.

This is where the confusion is at.
I don't think anyone has an issue with something that is so obviously not gifted (my diapering example, or hey, what car should I buy, etc) being moved. Where people are very concerned, or at least I am, is with some items that are gifted related being moved, and then told that those belong on forums with 'experts on normal child development', when gifted development is anything but normal.

Understand, this is not my primary gifted forum, but my concern of very real, because of some of the misconceptions I've seen on this thread. With older kids, I only come to MDC now exclusively for the gifted forum, and probably in a month or two on advice on how to wean my 2 1/2 year old.
I moderated a now-defunct gifted forum for many years, and have seen the gambit of people that came to the board. While we occasionally would get an out of place question, most of the question really were tied to giftedness.

I do understand the concern on the baby/toddler threads, but at the same time babies/toddlers can and do show signs of giftedness, and there ARE issues related to giftedness in children that young. In fact I first started being involved in a gifted forum when my daughter was a year. She is confirmed gifted.




I really want to echo Alegna's following two posts, because I have the same questions, and I have the same concerns.


Gentle question- I know that the mod team at times has included moms with kids with special needs. I know that at times those moms have modded special needs.

Does the mod team currently include anyone versed in the needs of the gifted?

Perhaps part of the problem is one of education, as has been mentioned here.

I rarely visit these days, but reading here it sounds like every fight gifted educators have ever had to fight. It sounds as though those making the decisions are perhaps unfamiliar with the special needs of the gifted.



and
Thank you for the clarification. However, I'm having trouble pinning it down- are we not allowed to discuss gifted toddlers now? Because there are many situations that do arise that are related to giftedness in toddlers. Is there a cut off between toddler and child?

What about gifted teens? Are they still allowed to be discussed?

It seems a little like this forum is being picked on... Special needs isn't limited to only certain years of age.

Truly trying to understand.


Like her, I'm truly trying to understand this.

At what age is it appropriate to then post on a gifted forum? Pre-school? What if the child hasn't been confirmed gifted?

It seems part of the issue here seems to be with understanding giftedness. Giftedness isn't something that just happens or shows up when a child is older, it often is very apparent, warts and all, when a child is MUCH younger.



Tammy
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This issue comes up all over the board regularly, IMO. e.g., I would not bash school or suggest a person start homeschooling if someone were complaining about their kid's school in the Learning At School forum. But if the same thread were posted in the Learning at Home forum, I would. Likewise, it seems much more acceptable to be harsh on artificial baby milk in the Lactivism forum than in the Breastfeeding Challenges forum.
But it isn't actually ok to bash formula in Lactivism nor would it be ok to bash school in the Learning at Home forum.

Both of those examples are against the rules.

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#89 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 01:57 AM
 
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People naturally want to post where they feel comfortable, which is great and comfort is such an important part of a community, except that posting wherever one wants to post is just not practical on a board of this size. We are simply asking, for the sake of organization, that infant or toddler topics be placed in LWAB or Toddlers because the focus of the Gifted forum is not on babies. If you will look at the PTGC forum, very few threads have actually been moved, and we are not planning on moving out threads willy-nilly. We're requesting that topics that are not specifically about parenting a gifted child be placed in the more appropriate forum. It doesn't seem like an unreasonable request to me, and I'm sincerely sorry if it feels that way to anyone.
I have to step in in defense of the toddler posts.

Way back when, I was a writer of one of those "is my child gifted" posts in a public web forum.

I really appreciate the moderators trying to make sure the forums on MDC do what they set out to do, but putting age guidelines on the gifted forum posts really does show that giftedness is not being understood appropriately.
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#90 of 167 Old 08-11-2009, 01:58 AM
 
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What is the definition of gifted that the staff is using that conflicts with what you're quoting here? What does the MDC staff see as the purpose of the gifted forum?
I would love to know this too. And I second the question, at what age does giftedness start at? What is the age range for a toddler that you are using? I'm awfully curious, as my 11 month old is walking, running, signing, and trying to use doorknobs rather well (we consider him a toddler really, not an infant). Then there is my just-turned 3-year old daughter who continues to amaze us on a daily basis (the details need not apply on the QandA forum), who by many definitions is still a toddler herself. How long do I have to wait to post questions about them to the gifted board? When they are 4? 5? Can read? Can post their own questions?

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