Moderation of MDC - What do you think? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Moderation of MDC - What do you think?
I think the current minimal moderation is great. It allows members the freedom to express their opinions without fear of their thread being shut down or a warning issued. Discussions of all types should be permitted and the community should be allowed to respond with their opinions unrestricted. I feel there are some situations where heavy moderation may be necessary but these are very few (explain). 416 56.68%
I do not like the minimal moderation and feel that it is leading to problems. To help protect the integrity of the forums and make the community a comfortable place to post we need the moderators to return to their previous moderation approach. They should oversee discussions more and remove things that are mean, snarky, sarcastic, and harassing. They should remove threads and posts that are against Mothering's parenting philosophies. Members who refuse to post appropriately should be moderated and those who persist in such behavior should be warned consistently and, if necessary, their membership removed. 204 27.79%
Other (explain what sort of moderation you think should be in place) 114 15.53%
Voters: 734. You may not vote on this poll

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#121 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 10:21 AM
 
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I voted other. I think this:

 

Quote:

They should remove threads and posts that are against Mothering's parenting philosophies.

Other than that, I don't have a strong opinion either way. But it's really bothering me to see so many posts saying "I spank and I'm proud of it!" (not in those exact words, of course).

 

Interestingly enough, it seems like some people who voted that they love the minimal moderation agree with wanting MDC's philosophies to be upheld. Please take that into consideration when you make any changes.


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#122 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 10:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by AverysMomma View Post



 

Do you see your tone here, mama? Like I'm really saying that "you don't belong, keep out, stay away, shame on you, you c-section haver!!" - none of those words ever came out of my mouth and, in fact, some of my favorite UC stories of all time have been from mamas who had births end in c/s for WHATEVER reason and who decided in subsequent births that they wanted to UC. I never said that "if you've had a c/s you don't belong in the UC forum" I said....and let me add some spaces so you can see it clearly:

 

 



Not you, Averysmomma - I wasn't saying you, personally, feel like those who haven't or aren't planning UC's are not welcome to read or even post in that forum.  But that is certainly the way it comes across from many threads/members -- and even the old moderation. 

 

You are just someone who went off a few posts earlier about 'outsiders' invading the UC forum and giving unwarranted advice --not in those words, but pretty much.  I was speaking of the UC board, in general, not you, in particular.  Obviously that is part of the reason there is now a private section. 


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#123 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 10:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by GuildJenn View Post






This is an impressive rant but it doesn't address my core point at all which is:

 

Why do you get to decide I'm "mainstream" because I bring up risk in UCing conversations? Does being "crunchy mean I have to agree with everyone on the forum at all times?

 

And again I point out that I don't go in there and harass women who are making that choice.




If you don't go to the UC forum and harass women there, I really have no bone to pick with you.

 

You can hold whatever personal view you want, in regard to what is "crunchy"....but, this being an AP forum, when you are addressing other members, if your view is not supportive of:

 

Gentle Discipline

Babywearing

Responding to infant needs instead of CIO

Bedsharing/Cosleeping/Family Bed

Concsious eating habits

Attachement

Intact Genitals

ANY concept for which a SPECIFIC forum has been created for supportive discussion ONLY

 

You should refrain from speaking and just walk away. You don't have to leave. I'm not saying you can't come to MDC if you don't believe in UC because you're not crunchy enough...I'm saying if you want to talk about "how dangerous UC is" you should go to TwoWeekWait.com.

 

MDC says you should only post comments/discussion about a topic in the appropriate forum.

 

The UC forum on MDC says that only SUPPORTIVE discussion is allowed.

 

Therefore:

 

MDC says, if you have something unsupportive to say about UC, there is nowhere on MDC for you to say that, and you should go somewhere else. <----Am I wrong? The women who post in UC have come to do that because those are the rules and they LIKE those rules.  If you don't like those rules, go bad mouth UC moms somewhere else. You have a whole internet and wide world full of poeple who will agree with you. UC moms have tiny little scraps of the interwebs where they can feel safe being comfortable with their decision openly. Why do you want to take that from them?

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#124 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 10:27 AM
 
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Originally Posted by GuildJenn View Post


Okay, but I have participated in discussions around risk on the general birth board that were deleted or edited to the point of incoherence. I have seen threads about tragic outcomes deleted. The consistent message has been if you don't support the very outer limits of birth, go elsewhere. THAT was the impact on ME of the moderation previously.

 

Oh, I see. I'm sorry about that. I had no idea - I haven't been on the general birth board very much. I agree that THAT board is a perfectly appropriate place to bring up concerns about UC safety in a civil manner, and it's ridiculous if polite, non-harrassing comments of that nature were censored, because it's a general board not specifically intended for support.
 

 


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#125 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 10:32 AM
 
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Originally Posted by AverysMomma View Post

I shudder at the fact that this even needs to be said:

 

UC mamas do not need some smartbutt, holier than thou, busy bodies coming through and telling them that their birthing choice is dangerous. Who do you women think you are? Angels from heaven who are going to impart some crucial information that somehow never occurred to the mother in question? The whole entire human population outside of MDC and a few teeny tiny corners of the internet/world are  SCREAMING night and day at a UC mama that her choice is selfish, stupid, dangerous and disgusting. Which is why she comes here, to talk about her choice, feel good about her choice and mingle in a relaxing way with other mamas who feel the same way. Not so that you busy bodies can needle your way into her sanctuary and spew your self righteous crap.

 

"Horrible advice on the UC board has led to a baby dying" - really? Was it your baby? Oh, no, it wasn't?? Then walk on, rubber necker, it's none of you business. I how many times has advice more in line with the mainstream led to horrible complication or newborn death "Yeah, girl, the doctors totally know what they are doing, let them induce you, you are so done being pregnant, give that baby his eviction notice! HAHAHA" - how many times? "Oh, girl, just take the pitocin" "I had cytotec and I was just fine" - MANY more times, "common wisdom" and mainstream thinking has led to complication and death so don't you dare think that just because UC women ---in their striving for gentle, responsible birth on their own terms--- are a huge minority, it gives you the right to talk to them like they are monkeys who never considered that their choice to forgo assistance could, in the end, just like in the hospital, lead to severe complication or death.

 

Statistically speaking, UC is not more dangerous than HB and statistically speaking, HB is SAFER than birth in the hospital. So keep your ignorant, bossy opinions to yourself. If a UC mama wants to feel stupid and judged she'll go to Thanksgiving dinner, or the grocery store or a doctors office or the playground or taco bell or wherever else in the world there are people with mouths. If she wants to discuss UC in an environment that is supportive of her choice, she'll come to MDC and you will shut your mouth about it because it's not your business or your place to comment negatively.

 

I will never understand what motivates some of you...how freaking special you must feel, that you honestly believe that in going to the UC board and "reminding those idiots that they are selfish and putting their babies in dangers way" you are helping anyone. The only thing it's doing is helping YOU to feel self satisfied.

 

 

 

Anyway, glad that is off my chest. Sorry for the anger, but I get reaaaaallllly sick and tired of people who feel like they have to stick their noses in on SPIN OFF FORUMS that they don't agree with.

 

 

My vote is for a happy medium. The MEGA MODDING from before made me feel such intense rage that I had to take frequent breaks from posting....but the open snarkiness is hard for some people (not me) to manage and I want those darling women to feel safe here, too. So, yeah. I'm "Other"..."Happy medium" and ESPECIALLY for modding "against" this influx of mainstreamness that is plaguing these boards.

 

 

I come to these boards because I think all parents should strive for gentle, wise and conscious methods of parenting/being/disciplining. Also because I am a crazy chicken lady who doesn't shave and doesn't have TV and really tries to be mindful about the health of all aspects of our fmaily life. I like hanging around likeminded sorts. I am the "weird lady" on other sites. People on other sites don't relate to me and they call me names and say snarky things about me. I have very deeply held beliefs about parenting and life that sometimes ACTUALLY frighten people on mainstream boards eyesroll.gif  but which have been kindly accepted and held widely relatable by women on this site. I can't go anywhere else, it makes my eyes bleed to read the words of mothers who CIO, mutilate genitalia "just cause" and feed their kids junk food because they feel like they need more "me time" in the evenings. I'm a parent who thinks about everything as much as I can...I'm trying to give my kids a gentle life, just like I gave them a gentle birth. I'm a high strung, type-A lady who sometimes finds it really difficult not to repeat the unkind, rigid ways in which she was parented and it helps me to come here and get support and wisdom from other ladies. The only reason I can give GD instead of the yelling and spaking that I got as a kid, is because I can stay focused on my parenting goals by staying synched in with mamas here and in my IRL natural parenting group.

 

The only reason I was able to convince my sister not to circ her son, is because the advice I got here helped me to come at her in the right way....I saved my nephews foreskin....and I couldn't have done it without the BTDT advice of women here. That's amazing. It's just one kid...but that kid will grow into a man with a healthier sex life and sons that HE chooses to leave intact. That's how we change the world, people!! I was so frustrated and tired when I came here for that advice, what if I had been talked to about "It's your sisters choice, don't try to force her, don't judge her, you have to respect her" - would I have been thrown off of my quest to save my nephew from circumcision? I don't know. It can be really hard to AP, it takes so much freaking THOUGHT and I tend to be an over thinker anyway so I get stressed about things and I really beat myself up if I'm not "perfect". You mamas here help me so much to just let go and relax.

 

That being said, I was a memeber of this site a very very long time ago, long before I had babies, when I was just a young woman trying to come to terms with being a female in these times, but I left because the moderation was so brutal and the mods so completely out of line that I couldn't hack it. When I was pregnant with my first, I knew I had to come back and I did. I got a new name, new outlook and really made a lot of friends here, even some that I had known from when I was initially here. But the sense of community has changed. I see really weird, mainstream things here. A lot of my friends are gone, I don't see them anymore around here. I don't recognize as many faces.

 

I'm sorry, this is not a place for mainstream mamas to come and voice opinions. You DON'T deserve equal air time and kid gloves if your mantra is "I got spanked and I'm alright" or "CIO mamas deserve respect, too"  "mamas who cir (even though they know it's completely unecessary) deserve respect too) - sorry, no they don't....CIO is child abuse, circ is sexual abuse and genital mutilation. Do people who punch their kids in the face deserve respect for that parenting choice?? Where do we draw the line about which parenting choices we want to hear about? Discussing parenting choices is fine....a woman here posting about her frustration at a family member who uses CIO being snapped at on her own damn thread by someone whose input is "I used CIO and it was fine and you have to respect CIO mamas because we all have a right to parent the way we see fit" - is total and complete BS. At MDC, we draw the line at    -----AP FAMILY VALUES-----

 

If you are coming here to learn about circ, GD, etc because you realize a choice you made once upon a time about that was wrong, that's amazing, you should be welcomed with open arms and shown love and given the support and knowledge to heal from the trauma against you and you children....but if you have come to this site because you think "babywearing is sooo cuuute! I'm totally crunchy!!"....but you also think circ is awesome and that spanking is acceptable....you need to keep that crap to yourself. There are a thousand places on the internet to go hang out and get support for CIO.....and in all of those thousands of places, I can expect that my views that CIO is abusive will be mocked, shot down and dismissed as "not being respectful of a parenting choice" - the expectation at MDC should NOT be that "ALL PARENTING CHOICES ARE ACCEPTABLE" - because the point of this place is the celebration of "GENTLE, LOVING, CONSCIOUS PARENTING IN THE AP/NFL STYLE" - period.


And this example furious raging with minimal common sense, plus the attitude that the mother's 'perfect experience' is more important than a child surviving birth (and yes, I am well aware of all scientific studies in connection with the subject, which is why I birth at home with a midwife), is the reason that moderation needs to lighten up.

Your statement that since it's not my baby who is dead that it's none of my business is horrifying.    Society has a reason to be involved when people make poor choices that result in preventable injury and death. 

 


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#126 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 10:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AverysMomma View Post






If you don't go to the UC forum and harass women there, I really have no bone to pick with you.

 

You can hold whatever personal view you want, in regard to what is "crunchy"....but, this being an AP forum, when you are addressing other members, if your view is not supportive of:

 

Gentle Discipline

Babywearing

Responding to infant needs instead of CIO

Bedsharing/Cosleeping/Family Bed

Concsious eating habits

Attachement

Intact Genitals

ANY concept for which a SPECIFIC forum has been created for supportive discussion ONLY

 

You should refrain from speaking and just walk away. You don't have to leave. I'm not saying you can't come to MDC if you don't believe in UC because you're not crunchy enough...I'm saying if you want to talk about "how dangerous UC is" you should go to TwoWeekWait.com.

 

MDC says you should only post comments/discussion about a topic in the appropriate forum.

 

The UC forum on MDC says that only SUPPORTIVE discussion is allowed.

 

Therefore:

 

MDC says, if you have something unsupportive to say about UC, there is nowhere on MDC for you to say that, and you should go somewhere else. <----Am I wrong? The women who post in UC have come to do that because those are the rules and they LIKE those rules.  If you don't like those rules, go bad mouth UC moms somewhere else. You have a whole internet and wide world full of poeple who will agree with you. UC moms have tiny little scraps of the interwebs where they can feel safe being comfortable with their decision openly. Why do you want to take that from them?




The way you're responding to me is just demonstrating my point.

 

I don't go into the UC forum to stir up trouble. I can't recall if I've posted there at all; if I have I'm pretty sure I've never, ever posted to tell a mother her choice is wrong. Mostly I've posted in other birth forums and had those threads deleted/edited/changed around so the entire, thoughtful conversation was lost.

 

And yet, if I were crusing the UC forums, which do come up under new posts etc., and I saw someone saying "cords around the neck are no problem right?" I really would feel compelled to say "actually one killed my daughter" (emphasis here).  Because that's the reality. I would not appreciate getting shouted down as "unsupportive" for that. And yet, it's happened. I've seen it happen with equally gently given EXPERIENCE and FACTUAL information.

 

I am in favour of less moderation. But even if I were supportive of moderation, I would -never- be supportive of eliminating facts. Frankly, if a woman's decision to whatever - breastfeed/co-sleep/etc - cannot stand up to the calm, caring presentation of facts, then there's a bigger problem.

 

But like I said, your attitude is exactly why -- when it was embedded in the moderation policy -- I stopped participating as much. As a fellow member you can tell me to go to babycenter all you want. But when a thread gets deleted because women who have lost kids - are sharing their DIRECT experiences - are saying so, that's where you lose my support. And yes, that has happened on the birth forums. I have seen it.

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#127 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 10:41 AM
 
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Originally Posted by zinemama View Post



I want to respond to this. In all my years of lurking on the UC forum, I have very rarely seen anyone come on there with a blanket "You people shouldn't UC. Ever!" attitude.

What I have seen is people - midwives sometimes, folks with a lot of knowledge - responding to individual women, individual situations. I've seen these people say, "Hey, with the xyz condition you describe mama, and with your prior history, UC might not be the safest choice for you." Those are the kind of posts that have been yanked. That's the kinds of input that gets shot down by a volley of "Don't listen to the evil medical conspiracy! Trust your instincts, Mama!"

I don't think it's right.
 


Right.  FWIW, I am not anti-UC.  I actually have dreamed of having one numerous times since I've started having children 10 years ago, despite that fact that all four ended up being c-sections.  I wouldn't say, "no one should be allowed to UC" etc., anywhere, much less on a UC forum.

 

But, I do think there is room for varying opinions and even healthy debate.  It sounds really close-minded to say "go somewhere else; somewhere that worships OB's"   If I posted in the UC forum mentioning I was considering or planning a uca4c and I live half an hour away from the hospital, I would hope that I got more than support only posts.  It would be better if I would receive more advice than "go for it, it's natural." Seriously, why wouldn't others care enough about me and my baby to offer some insight? 

 

That is why I think there is room for varying opinions and expertise.  There has absolutely 100% been multiple babies die after mamas sought out advice on the UC forum here. (I am not blaming others for those deaths, but they happened to happen.) I don't see the harm in not having that board be "support only".  That's dangerous, really. 

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#128 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 10:57 AM
 
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In light of the last few posts, I will clarify my position to say:

 

If a woman who is planning to UC comes to the community of women and says "xyz is happening - WHAT SHOULD I DO" - and women **who know what they are talking about** come and say "I think this is too dangerous, I think UC is a mistake for you in this situation" - I do NOT view that the same way as I view the women who go on and just make trouble.

 

I have seen plenty of situations in UC over the years where a woman has come and said "Ahh, what do I do about xyz" and a VERY civil thread commenced with opinions ranging from "I'd do it, don't worry" to "I'm a midwife, I've been doing this for years, please seek help, you are in danger" - coexisting with no problems. I've also seen a number of times where a woman comes and is like "i don't really know if this is a big deal, but xyz is happening, what would you do" - and people have come and said "see, UC is too risky, you are taking too many risks" - just to bash UC, not in any reasonable or supportive analysis of that womans circumstance.

 

There is a difference between saying "I don't understand why you don't see how unsafe this is, UC is so unsafe" and saying "Honey, I repsect your right to decide to birth the way you feel best....but now that you found out that xyz, you should really think about bringing someone in" - huge difference.

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#129 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 10:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by journeymom View Post


Yup.

 



Amen.

 

 

"I was spanked and I'm OK."  Nope, sorry. It wasn't 'OK' when you were hit. Hitting your child is not OK, full stop.  All things are relative, and a spanking simply is not the equivalent of a beating. But it is not OK. It is not right. It is not acceptable to hit your child. 

 

Sorry, I don't remember who brought this up, but Mama, I get that you aren't advocating violence, and I'm not attacking you.  But it's kind of circular: our thoughts are reflected in our words and our words shape our thoughts.


I agree.

 

I disagree with the current interpretation of what constitutes "advocating spanking/cio/whatever else." I think the problem is that, under the current UA, people can post in the GD forum and say "I spank my kids, and it's all good. I'm a loving parent" or "spanking in safety situations works for me"  Or "I ferberized my kids from day one, and they sleep GREAT!" And it normalizes those things on MDC. It makes those things sound not so bad, because "hey, other AP parents are doing the, and their kids are ok, and they get to sleep! so maybe it's not such a bad idea." It promotes the idea that those things aren't harmful enough to rule them out in every situation.

I get that we can "argue" back about it, but the more that people see posts defending spanking and cio, the more acceptable it seems. 

 

Now, obviously, people have always been, and should still be, allowed to post saying that they have spanked in the past (and don't anymore) or currently spank and want to change. Having done something in the past doesn't necessarily mean you think it's an ok thing to do (unless you would do it again, as in cio). It can mean that you learned and are making better choices now. I even think it should be ok to say "I was spanked and I'm ok." But someone who is CURRENTLY spanking and is not trying to stop, is effectively defending spanking as acceptable (because if it weren't acceptable, they wouldn't do it, right?)
 

 



 

 


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#130 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 11:02 AM
 
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Originally Posted by stik View Post



Sometimes we get an extra-special step 4: a mom and/or baby are injured or die and the thread goes poof...

 

 


I'm not a mod, and I don't spend much time in the UC forum, but I'm sure that at least some of those "extra-special step 4" situations are at the mom's request. I saw one thread recently where a horde of people jumped in to blame a baby's death on advice from the UC forum. None of them knew the actual story and the advice in the UC forum had nothing to do with the baby's death (and the mom wasn't UCing). The mom, who was already dealing with the death of her new baby (something that I think gets overlooked in the furor over dead babies is that the mom is in an extremely vulnerable and devastated condition), was being faced with massive Monday-morning quarterbacking of her child's death, by people who had no idea what had actually happened. I believe she requested that the thread be locked and/or removed - can't remember which it was - and I'd have done the same thing (and I've never done that, nor have I ever deleted a post, except within second of writing one, when my calmer self prevailed).I don't happen to think that a mom should have to put up with mulitple people posting their assumptions and accusations about her child's death, as though they were fact, just to provide the UC board with examples of things going wrong.

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#131 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 11:31 AM
 
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I think that "moderate" moderation is in order. Not the crazy overmoderating that we had before where we had to worry about if we were going to get warned, assigned points, or suspended for something we said, but something that keeps foul language off the board and helps keep the overall tone welcoming and respectful.

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#132 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 11:32 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AverysMomma View Post

UC is not more dangerous than HB and statistically speaking,

I personally know two moms whose babies died at home that would have lived at the hospital. It does happen. The problem with UC is the mom is taking not only her own life into her hands but her child's too. If you try this at home you need qualified medical help in your home... just in case. Yes, birth is natural, yes birth can be lovely and hands off but it is still a life and death moment in time for both mother and baby.

And I am as crunchy as the next MDC momma.
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#133 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 11:32 AM
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There are so many wonderful, thoughtful responses in this thread that I have apparently liked too many of them, y'all!  This has never happened to me before!  I agree so much that I am "over [my] limit for rating content."  dizzy.gif

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#134 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 11:42 AM
 
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I actually used the "other" reply (and I hardly ever do that).

 

Overall, I like the more minimal moderation. What I'd like, however, is a bit more hands on moderation for some of the subforums -- Gentle Discipline, for example, really does need a bit more direction than something like TAO. While I will fully admit to having lost my temper as a parent and done some things that I'm not proud of for discipline, I really don't want people advocating harsh discipline in that forum. I've noticed a trend in that forum for more parents to be suggesting things I'd find punitive rather than the more gentle approaches that I am used to. I think we've lost the parents who were on the consentual living end of the scale. I, as someone who considers herself a pretty strict GD person, am feeling like people are losing the "what is my child's unmet need?" and "children want to do well" values that I learned from that forum.

 

Other subforums seem to have repeated issues (Adoption/Foster parenting tends to get advice from people who are neither, and as witnessed by the furor over the UC posts, it looks like that could use a little more scrutiny), and I'm sure there are others who could use a more careful eye every now and again.

 

 

 

 


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#135 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 11:47 AM
 
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Ok this seems to have gone more into posters talking back and forth, but since I answered OTHER I thought I'd say why since that's what the poll asked.

 

OTHER: Stricter moderation of how people say something, MDC definitely feels more hostile to me now and I think some of the previous post attest to that.

I'm not so much for strictly moderating the content of a post/thread. Obviously this should be pro-AP, but I do not feel that there is (nor really should be) a consensus about what MDC's parenting principles are. Cloth diaper 50% OK, or should that be 100% or must it be EC???  I do fear that some people who are on the fence and looking into more "crunchy" parenting choices may feel excluded or belittled before they have a chance to really explore some AP options and that makes me sad. I remember telling my partner how nice it was to have a place where parents were supporting and encouraging without being judgmental and I think its a shame that we can't share differing opinions in a respectful way.

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#136 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 11:51 AM
 
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"Being offensive," is so subjective.  There is a lot to learn from dissent.

 

Can Mothering add an "Ignore" button to each subscriber so we can ignore people we find offensive?

 

When someone is offensive consistently, a person could deftly, "Ignore," them and all of their (seemingly) nasty posts will disappear.  (This would work like unfriending on facebook.)

 

People who don't want to see negative posters, can phase them out of their Mothering experience. People who like to be stimulated, can keep them!

 

OR-How about a way for a person to choose who they want to see posts from?


Example-- I can check a box that will "disappear," anyone who was a 30% Ignore rate or higher?

 

Then - very low moderation will be needed.

 

Barbara

 

 

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#137 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 11:52 AM
 
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I'm somewhere in between. I think that moderation was too strict before, but not strict enough now.

 

I think if you're going to have forums which are intended to lean towards certain philosophies, they have to be pretty tightly moderated. Otherwise MDC might as well just call itself a mainstream forum.


I agree with this, mostly, even though I didn't realize the moderation had changed. I felt it was way too strict before, to the point that I considered leaving this website all together many times.

However, I do think that some moderation needs to be in place to keep threads consistent with Mothering philosophies. I come here so I can get answers and support for parenting practices that I just cannot get anywhere else that I have found. If we start getting more and more threads supporting and/or promoting mainstream parenting practices, there will be nothing special about Mothering.

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#138 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 11:54 AM
 
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I voted "Other" only because I can see that it's complicated. I could think of only two things that might be an ongoing problem to watch for: (1) snarkiness is rampant all over today, and I don't think it should be allowed anywhere in MDC, and (2) people who do not live a lifestyle that a forum or subforum is based on should not be allowed to post arguments against it there. I haven't seen much in the way of snarkiness that others here have mentioned. However, I was put off awhile back when people who have previously been vocal against a particular educational philosophy argued their way of thinking in a subforum set aside for that philosophy - I think that's a situation where mods should quickly shore up boundaries. Other than those two things, I like moderation kept minimal. 

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#139 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 11:57 AM
 
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I think we need to consider that people are testing the waters of the new rules. Obviously some of it has gotten out of hand, but that it's be expected during a transition period as people adjust to the new format. IMO the answer is not to run back to the tight moderation that was basically impossible to enforce consistently but to instead give the admins the time to work out where the new limits will be as they experience the changes going forward.  

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#140 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 12:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yaboobarb View Post

"Being offensive," is so subjective.  There is a lot to learn from dissent.

 

Can Mothering add an "Ignore" button to each subscriber so we can ignore people we find offensive?

 

When someone is offensive consistently, a person could deftly, "Ignore," them and all of their (seemingly) nasty posts will disappear.  (This would work like unfriending on facebook.)

 

People who don't want to see negative posters, can phase them out of their Mothering experience. People who like to be stimulated, can keep them!

 

OR-How about a way for a person to choose who they want to see posts from?


Example-- I can check a box that will "disappear," anyone who was a 30% Ignore rate or higher?

 

Then - very low moderation will be needed.

 

Barbara

 

 

 


There is an ignore button.  If you go to the poster's avatar, and then hover your cursor over the person's user name you will get a drop down menu.  Under there is the option to "Block Member"  Click that and they are effectively ignored. :)  A fabulous option when faced with people you just don't see eye to eye with.

 

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#141 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 12:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AdinaL View Post




There is an ignore button.  If you go to the poster's avatar, and then hover your cursor over the person's user name you will get a drop down menu.  Under there is the option to "Block Member"  Click that and they are effectively ignored. :)  A fabulous option when faced with people you just don't see eye to eye with.

 

But if you test this on AdinaL user name it doesn't work.  You must not be able to black Mods/Admins? I did not know that but guess that makes sense! Tho, what a way around the UA if you never have to see a warning post, LOL!
 

 


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#142 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 12:40 PM
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I like the minimal moderation, but it needs to be applied equally.  You can't minimally moderate most of MDC but still heavily police the Case Against Circumcision Forum because you are afraid of certain religious groups.  Well I guess you can, but I don't think it's fair. 

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#143 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 12:45 PM
 
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I definitely prefer the minimal moderation. This place was becoming a bit of an echo chamber (and I saw I'm not the only person who noticed that.) We need a variety of viewpoints to give us greater perspective. The one thing I'd like to see maybe more moderation over is when people attack the person and not the idea.
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#144 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 12:46 PM
 
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just to get my voice heard - i came here from another online community because i couldnt stand all the snarkiness of that other place. i found MDC to be my safe haven, and truthfully, i feel like that safeness and comfort has disappeared. i still log on and post, but i dont even want to some times. (because of the minimal moderation)

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#145 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 12:52 PM
 
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I voted that I don't like the minimal moderation duck.gif I'd like to elaborate though that it's mostly about the tone of the boards. It's gotten so snarky and harsh around here that I feel much less comfortable posting. The thing that made MDC so different from other sites for me was the consistently civil tone, and that seems to have largely gone down the tubes. I think it's perfectly possible for people to express themselves politely, even in circumstances where they disagree (I have done so many times without getting slapped), but it seems that many are unable to do this when they are unmoderated. I do think that the weaker moderation of sex, swearing, etc. is great.  

 

Also, some boards have just disintegrated lately (I'm thinking of the UC board here). A major part of that is unsupportive people thinking that their voice needs to be heard in a forum that is *explicitly for support* and then not getting moderated. Some people complain that MDC was too harsh before in squashing comments that did not agree with AP philosophies, but really, so what if they were? What does Mothering stand for anyway? Is MDC going to stand up for an online space dedicated to AP (which it had every right to - after all, if someone disagrees they are free not to come here) or downshift to being just another parenting forum that happens to have a slightly crunchier membership?

 

I myself have been slapped a couple of times for, imo, absurd reasons. But I'd still take that any day over the atmosphere that has developed here recently.




My thoughts exactly.

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#146 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 12:57 PM
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But if you test this on AdinaL user name it doesn't work.  You must not be able to black Mods/Admins? I did not know that but guess that makes sense! Tho, what a way around the UA if you never have to see a warning post, LOL!
 

 


Heh. No, you can't ignore admins, I don't think.  We don't ignore people either though, so that's fair. :)


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#147 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 01:07 PM
 
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I like the minimal moderation as it applies to people's opinions, not their attitudes.

 

It is possible to voice a dissenting opinion respectfully, without insulting anyone or being rude. If a poster is being rude, especially repeatedly, I would like to see the mods do something about that. I don't, however, want to see people "in trouble" with the mods because of their opinions. I think we here at MDC are more than capable of handling people with differing opinions, even the ones against the usual AP principals, without mods enforcing anything.

 

Step in because someone is being hateful, not because someone disagrees, and all will be well in the jungle.


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#148 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 01:08 PM
 
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Trolling should not be allowed.
Threads that descend into flame wars should be shut down.
Perhaps people who post primarily in a snarky tone should be warned.


Expressing frustration and debates should be allowed.


I like the MDC with less moderation, but I do find it a bit depressing that so much snark bubbled to the surface.
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#149 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 01:20 PM
 
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I agree nearly 100% with the OP of the linked thread. I've actually been away from MDC for about 2 years. I've come back and feel like it's a whole different place. I have mentioned to more than one person that I feel like I might as well be posting over at BabyCenter or something, it's soooo mainstream here these days. I love that more people feel comfortable posting here, I guess, but it was nice to have what felt like a community of like-minded mamas, where something like homebirth is the NORM and I'm not in the minority in choosing one. It doesn't feel like that here any more.
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#150 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 01:33 PM
 
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Babycenter? I think the rhetoric is getting rediculous when MDC is being compared to babycenter. Does babycenter have a UC forum? Or an I'm not vaccinating forum? Or a forum dedicated to intactivism? 

 

Right, it doesn't.

 

 

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