Moderation of MDC - What do you think? - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Moderation of MDC - What do you think?
I think the current minimal moderation is great. It allows members the freedom to express their opinions without fear of their thread being shut down or a warning issued. Discussions of all types should be permitted and the community should be allowed to respond with their opinions unrestricted. I feel there are some situations where heavy moderation may be necessary but these are very few (explain). 416 56.68%
I do not like the minimal moderation and feel that it is leading to problems. To help protect the integrity of the forums and make the community a comfortable place to post we need the moderators to return to their previous moderation approach. They should oversee discussions more and remove things that are mean, snarky, sarcastic, and harassing. They should remove threads and posts that are against Mothering's parenting philosophies. Members who refuse to post appropriately should be moderated and those who persist in such behavior should be warned consistently and, if necessary, their membership removed. 204 27.79%
Other (explain what sort of moderation you think should be in place) 114 15.53%
Voters: 734. You may not vote on this poll

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#181 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 03:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillitu View Post

I have been dressed that this forum has decayed the way it has- with people posting about topics that have no business being on an AP forum "don't flame me, but I spank" for example. Folks can go elsewhere for advice for spanking parents, we don't need that here.

 

I also saw a horrible new person berate poor women on a thread not once but 6 times and there was no mod step in whatsever. I have yet to hear anything after flagging the posts. Sigh. I miss THE COMMUNITY. This doesn't feel like a community anymore.




Maybe we haven't seen the same threads, but the threads like that I've seen have been more like, "Please don't flame me - I spanked but I'm looking for another way to handle this", which seems very relevant to MDC. Just saying someone spanked, and isn't in a place where they can handle flames, isn't a problem to me. If someone posted advising someone to spank for something, that would absolutely bother me. If someone posted saying, "I choose to spank so I handle it differently than people here are suggesting", well I guess it seems only fair if that person is open to hearing some outside opinions on spanking anyway, particularly if they post that in GD. I am very very opposed to spanking. I like the idea of people moving away from spanking to feel safe coming here to learn new ways to handle things, but to tell the truth, I don't like the idea of people who choose to spank and find it to be a reasonable discipline tool posting in GD at all. I mean, you don't practice GD if you spank and think spanking is ok, and therefore IMO your discipline opinions are irrelevant to GD. Just my opinion!


ITA on all points.

 

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#182 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 03:18 PM
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Maybe the true answer here is that, in the largest parenting forum on the web, no one gets to post in an echo chamber.  You're always going to hear some dissent.  Sometimes, you're going to hear a lot of dissent.  That's been true for as long as I have been on MDC. 

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#183 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 03:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by stik View Post

As a pro-vaccination person who regularly debates in the vaccination forum, I should like to point out that there is an "I'm not Vaccinating" forum for those who want to avoid debate.  



And yet, I've seen debates there too.  There is a spectrum of opinions about vaccines on either side of the argument, just as I would imagine there is about UCing as well.


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#184 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 03:46 PM
 
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I'm sorry, I've read all the responses and I still think that a support only thread is a bad idea because it involves...by necessity...heavy censorship.

 

I guess I believe in freedom more than I believe in, well, just about anything.

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#185 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 03:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post

Babycenter? I think the rhetoric is getting rediculous when MDC is being compared to babycenter. Does babycenter have a UC forum? Or an I'm not vaccinating forum? Or a forum dedicated to intactivism? 

 

Right, it doesn't.

 

 

 

False.  Anyone can make up their own board on Babycenter.  There has been positive discussion on UC on the Crunchy Mamas board.  There has been positive discussion on intactivism on the Attachment Parenting board.  There are several anti-vax forums that go from selective/delayed to all out anti-vax.  THAT is why I compare MDC to BBC.  At this point, they are one in the same.  The moderation is sketchy, the ads bombard the page, snarkiness is the new little black dress, and they cover the same content.  BBC is still much more mainstream though for the most part.

 


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#186 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 04:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AverysMomma View Post

I shudder at the fact that this even needs to be said:

 

UC mamas do not need some smartbutt, holier than thou, busy bodies coming through and telling them that their birthing choice is dangerous. Who do you women think you are? Angels from heaven who are going to impart some crucial information that somehow never occurred to the mother in question? The whole entire human population outside of MDC and a few teeny tiny corners of the internet/world are  SCREAMING night and day at a UC mama that her choice is selfish, stupid, dangerous and disgusting. Which is why she comes here, to talk about her choice, feel good about her choice and mingle in a relaxing way with other mamas who feel the same way. Not so that you busy bodies can needle your way into her sanctuary and spew your self righteous crap.

 

"Horrible advice on the UC board has led to a baby dying" - really? Was it your baby? Oh, no, it wasn't?? Then walk on, rubber necker, it's none of you business. I how many times has advice more in line with the mainstream led to horrible complication or newborn death "Yeah, girl, the doctors totally know what they are doing, let them induce you, you are so done being pregnant, give that baby his eviction notice! HAHAHA" - how many times? "Oh, girl, just take the pitocin" "I had cytotec and I was just fine" - MANY more times, "common wisdom" and mainstream thinking has led to complication and death so don't you dare think that just because UC women ---in their striving for gentle, responsible birth on their own terms--- are a huge minority, it gives you the right to talk to them like they are monkeys who never considered that their choice to forgo assistance could, in the end, just like in the hospital, lead to severe complication or death.

 

Statistically speaking, UC is not more dangerous than HB and statistically speaking, HB is SAFER than birth in the hospital. So keep your ignorant, bossy opinions to yourself. If a UC mama wants to feel stupid and judged she'll go to Thanksgiving dinner, or the grocery store or a doctors office or the playground or taco bell or wherever else in the world there are people with mouths. If she wants to discuss UC in an environment that is supportive of her choice, she'll come to MDC and you will shut your mouth about it because it's not your business or your place to comment negatively.

 

I will never understand what motivates some of you...how freaking special you must feel, that you honestly believe that in going to the UC board and "reminding those idiots that they are selfish and putting their babies in dangers way" you are helping anyone. The only thing it's doing is helping YOU to feel self satisfied.

 

I'm a total newbie, and I don't "know" any of you. I have been lurking on this board for about a year but only recently began posting. I wasn't even going to post in this thread because, well, who cares what I think, right? After seeing the above post, though, I really felt compelled to add my two cents. I like the low moderation as it pertains to subject matter and dissenting opinions, as long as no one actually advocates spanking, CIO, or circ. But what I don't like is that someone could be as rude as this poster was.  Shouldn't this kind of hateful attitude be regulated? If it isn't going to be, then, like other posters have mentioned, MDC won't be any better than Babycenter.  And I don't mean to single out the person who posted this, but this is the worst example I've seen of the disrespect that many are complaining about.  I'm sure there are worse examples to be found, but I don't follow MDC closely enough to know of any.

 

For the record, I'm going to vote "other".


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#187 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 04:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuburbanHippie View Post



 

False.  Anyone can make up their own board on Babycenter.  There has been positive discussion on UC on the Crunchy Mamas board.  There has been positive discussion on intactivism on the Attachment Parenting board.  There are several anti-vax forums that go from selective/delayed to all out anti-vax.  THAT is why I compare MDC to BBC.  At this point, they are one in the same.  The moderation is sketchy, the ads bombard the page, snarkiness is the new little black dress, and they cover the same content.  BBC is still much more mainstream though for the most part.

 

hey if you think they are one and the same, have fun posting over there. 

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#188 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 04:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post

I'll give you an example, I've had my posts edited more than once for completely silly things, like the OP posted that she thanked God that her dh prayed about their decision and decided that leaving the baby intact was the right choice ( no discussion of actual religion was had at all in the thread). And I replied something like, "he's a keeper for listening to God" or something. Again, no religion mentioned. My post was deleted for discussing "religion". It's just silly. 

 

Also the fact that we aren't allowed to use the word mutilation. 


I always love it when "listening to God" is considered non-religious... Really makes me curious about the definition of "God" and when it became secular...

 


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#189 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 04:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lkvosu View Post



 

I'm a total newbie, and I don't "know" any of you. I have been lurking on this board for about a year but only recently began posting. I wasn't even going to post in this thread because, well, who cares what I think, right? After seeing the above post, though, I really felt compelled to add my two cents. I like the low moderation as it pertains to subject matter and dissenting opinions, as long as no one actually advocates spanking, CIO, or circ. But what I don't like is that someone could be as rude as this poster was.  Shouldn't this kind of hateful attitude be regulated? If it isn't going to be, then, like other posters have mentioned, MDC won't be any better than Babycenter.  And I don't mean to single out the person who posted this, but this is the worst example I've seen of the disrespect that many are complaining about.  I'm sure there are worse examples to be found, but I don't follow MDC closely enough to know of any.

 

For the record, I'm going to vote "other".

I'm glad you decided to post.  Everyone's vote is important, so thanks for your input.


Averysmomma was really rude, and I don't have any problem calling her out on that (as others have, too).  I do think that she usually offers helpful advice, so obviously she is really upset here - not that it's an excuse.  The thing is she maybe doesn't realize she is making the choice to UC look bad, at least IMO, by talking as she did.   Hopefully she's cooled off a bit by now, and will not take all negative UC talk as a personal attack.

 

I care about all babies, thank you very much, and I care about the lives of women who are essentially strangers on the Internet - not to mention their families who have to live with whatever happens in the event something goes wrong (hospital or home).  I'm pretty sure that's just being a normal, caring member of society. 

 

 

 

 

 


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#190 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 04:59 PM
 
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I always love it when "listening to God" is considered non-religious... Really makes me curious about the definition of "God" and when it became secular...

 

 

I *think* what she meant was that she got a warning for discussing religious circumcision when she wasn't. I don't agree with anything else Arduinna has said in this thread, but I think that's a misunderstanding. The CAC forum is not allowed to host debates on religious circ and rightly so considering who tries to sneak out of the woodwork anyway.
 

 

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#191 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 05:13 PM
 
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I picked other.

 

I like a combo of the two.  I do enjoy that Mothering is a forum that supports alternative lifestyle/parenting styles etc but I feel like in doing so it may tend to ostracize members that choose to live a more mainstream lifestyle.  I have often been offended by the "end all" parenting ideologies that are some members push down the throats of new posters...but I think that may just be a consequence of a anonymous format of an online forum.  Parenting is a passionate subject and we may tend to get ahead of ourselves, iykwim.  As such, we are a global community with a broad range of parenting methods and we need to remember this before passing judgment.  Yet, on the contrary, I am not really comfortable with the level of moderation we have now and I think it needs to be picked up a bit.  I have been debating leaving this forum for good as I don't post much anymore.  Over the last few years,  I really love that Mothering has served to enlighten new parents as they grow their families. 

 

Just my two cents...


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#192 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 05:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkvosu View Post



 

I'm a total newbie, and I don't "know" any of you. I have been lurking on this board for about a year but only recently began posting. I wasn't even going to post in this thread because, well, who cares what I think, right? After seeing the above post, though, I really felt compelled to add my two cents. I like the low moderation as it pertains to subject matter and dissenting opinions, as long as no one actually advocates spanking, CIO, or circ. But what I don't like is that someone could be as rude as this poster was.  Shouldn't this kind of hateful attitude be regulated? If it isn't going to be, then, like other posters have mentioned, MDC won't be any better than Babycenter.  And I don't mean to single out the person who posted this, but this is the worst example I've seen of the disrespect that many are complaining about.  I'm sure there are worse examples to be found, but I don't follow MDC closely enough to know of any.

 

For the record, I'm going to vote "other".


I thought it was blunt, and on fire with righteous anger. And a little rude. Whatever.  I don't follow the UC issues, don't know Avery'sMomma from Adam.

 

I hope you'll post more! I still love it here.

 

 

 

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#193 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 05:44 PM
 
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I think moderation was too harsh before with too many conversations being shut down and people afraid to honestly converse.  I can see how some would think that a less moderated atmosphere is naturally negative, but I think that adults will find a balance and figure out their own self control if given the opportunity.


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#194 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 05:49 PM
 
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Had to vote "other". I have been on MDC for over 5 years and have always thought it was a place where people had to be respectful, or else. When posters lost their tempers or were rude, they were reprimanded, myself included. However, I recently saw a thread where numerous posters were disagreeing with the OP, and started slandering her and her previous parenting choices (which had not once been mentioned in this thread). I was disgusted and especially upset that a GA was the one criticizing her and making references to previous posts the OP had made, when she had obviously shared private information about her life. I started my online life on Babycenter, where there was very little moderation and anybody could say anything and attack anyone. Consequently, there never seemed to be the deep conversations where people actually exchange honest information, like I have found so many times on MDC. I actually wouldn't even mind terribly if people posted w/non-NFL parenting views, as long as it was not allowed to devolve into a mud-sling.


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#195 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 05:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kmeyrick View Post



 

I *think* what she meant was that she got a warning for discussing religious circumcision when she wasn't. I don't agree with anything else Arduinna has said in this thread, but I think that's a misunderstanding. The CAC forum is not allowed to host debates on religious circ and rightly so considering who tries to sneak out of the woodwork anyway.
 

 


Just for the record I didn't get a warning, just had the mods request an edit/removal of the comment. 

 

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#196 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 05:54 PM
 
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Less!  I HATED the old UA and moderation.  I often had difficulty figuring out how to say what I wanted w/ out getting a warning.  It was fear-mongering and horrible.

 

Yup, it is definitely not nice to call people names or be nasty towards them.  If someone says something rude to me, I have the ability to type, "You know, that was a really rude way to say what was on your mind."  In fact, we all have this ability.  If you see someone being rude or nasty, call them on it publicly, right there in the thread.  We should not have to continually turn to the moderators to fully regulate the board for us.  It's like with schoolyard bullying: Teachers (moderators) can only do so much to stop it.  It's up to the students (posters) to stand up and say, "We are not going to tolerate this, you need to knock it off."  If you see someone getting attacked, defend them!  That is they type of stuff that leads to community, not policy and enforcement.

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#197 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 06:02 PM
 
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Just for the record I didn't get a warning, just had the mods request an edit/removal of the comment. 

 



But was I in the general ballpark?

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#198 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 06:04 PM
 
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But was I in the general ballpark?



Yes, we weren't discussing religious circ and no religion was mentioned or even hinted at.  

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#199 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 06:18 PM
 
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I'm an occasional poster. I voted other because I don't want MDC to turn into a super snarky high school board where members openly make fun of each other. However, I think the moderation was too overbearing. There's no reason that we can't have real conversation and stop snakiness at the same time. I love the advice I've always gotten from the boards (by posting and lurking) but I was always slightly uncomfortable with the police state nature of the conversation control. I'm an adult who believes in AP, that's why I'm here. That's why most of us are here. People who aren't in line with that type of lifestyle wont stay long even if they come to try to rile up members.

I feel that mothering was getting a little too rigid in their definition what AP is, or maybe what the purpose of the board is at all. If someone comes here to learn about AP and immediately gets banned because they post that they've been CIO, how will that mama ever learn to make different choices the future? To be clear, I'm speaking of someone asking a question about sleep training, not someone advocating. We've all seen threads removed for less.

I personally stopped posting last summer when I joined a due date club. I felt like all of the women in my club had a great community feel and all of a sudden one of us got banned. I read through all of her posts but I never knew why. I couldn't find anything that seemed offensive. the mods refused to tell anyone why. That's just as high school as being super snarky.
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#200 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 06:23 PM
 
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I put myself in the "happy medium" camp.  The trolling and personal attacks are juvenile and have no place here.  Challenges to core AP values have no place here.  I honestly don't see the point of having an AP-minded community if we can't be an AP-minded community.  If I wanted to hear mainstream opinion, I'd ask everyone else in town, not come to MDC. 

 

ETA:  I forgot to mention that I can definitely do without the petty wrist slapping warnings of the past.  That was ridiculous and i cut waaaaaay down on participation with the big crack down a few years ago.

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#201 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 06:25 PM
 
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I guess I don't see any issues with how things are going now at least in the threads I have frequented.  I am good with the way it is.


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#202 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 06:25 PM
 
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I'm somewhere in between. I think that moderation was too strict before, but not strict enough now.

 

I think if you're going to have forums which are intended to lean towards certain philosophies, they have to be pretty tightly moderated. Otherwise MDC might as well just call itself a mainstream forum.



I agree with this completely!


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#203 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 06:32 PM
 
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While every now and then I'm totally turned off by such snark - I always assumed this community was here for supporting each others as mothers - I'm absolutely for the least amount of moderation possible.  We're all adults here and should all have the ability to ignore rudeness and snark.  And thankfully the vast majority of posters do support one another, which should outweigh the outlying negative nellies.  In my mind, introducing increased moderation is akin to censorship, which ALWAYS produces some form of the chilling of speech.  

 

Cheers to mamas!  I'm so happy MDC exists - I check it almost daily.  :)  (I wouldn't be here that often if I felt threatened or generally turned off by some random posters.) 


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#204 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 06:35 PM
 
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hey if you think they are one and the same, have fun posting over there. 


And thank you for proving my point once again.  thumb.gif

 


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#205 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 06:53 PM
 
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I want to respond to this. In all my years of lurking on the UC forum, I have very rarely seen anyone come on there with a blanket "You people shouldn't UC. Ever!" attitude.

What I have seen is people - midwives sometimes, folks with a lot of knowledge - responding to individual women, individual situations. I've seen these people say, "Hey, with the xyz condition you describe mama, and with your prior history, UC might not be the safest choice for you." Those are the kind of posts that have been yanked. That's the kinds of input that gets shot down by a volley of "Don't listen to the evil medical conspiracy! Trust your instincts, Mama!"

I don't think it's right.
 



Totally agree.  And to the poster who stated that all the UC mamas have done their research and soul searching... I'm sorry, but that is just obviously not true, or the "research" they are looking at is majorly flawed.  There have been some scarily uninformed posters on the UC board who have been encouraged to continue with UC despite it being obviously dangerous in the situations they described and asked for advice on. One particular UC advocate who has since supposedly left these boards chronically gave out terrible, dangerous information.  She followed up any comments voicing concern about UC with straight up attacks on the poster, including skilled midwives and others who have been UC supporters or had UCs themself.   I'm not going to sit back and shut up when that is the kind of "research" some of these mamas are doing.

 

Avery'sMama--You had some fantastic points and I can see how you're ticked about UC if you are someone who has actually done real research and soul searching.  You can still hold your beliefs while admitting that there are some, and maybe a minority, of posts on the UC forum that are downright dangerous and continue to be perpetuated by die-hard UC advocates (no pun intended.)  An impressive rant, indeed, as someone else mentioned.  I do think though that you have a real double standard when it comes to some of the judgements you made about things other than UC. 

 

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#206 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 07:04 PM
 
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Mostly in the less moderation camp, but its ok to have some.

I feel in general asking adults to act respectful and then expecting them to do that is the way to go. Moderation that is on behavior is better than moderating content or opinions.
Living in a bubble where no one is allowed to say something that you don't want to think is not helping you or them. I love this site for all I learn from it, but if I'm not even allowed to ask what particular is wrong with a book, approach, or the like, how can i learn? I'm not the type to just " take your word for it" I want to be able to talk thru different sides of big issues.

So I say moderate if someone is being a ass and not respecting that they are talking to other humans, don't moderate out the fact that they don't agree with you. The later is what discussion if for.
If MDC truly is a sanctuary of only Fully AP focused folks, the echo chamber will be in full force and there will be no room at the able for the like of me and many many others that benefit from this forum everyday.

I have been warned a number of times in the past and I feel it was for not being crunchy enough. Yet I'm a mom that is loving and wants to learn all the best for my young babies and MDC helps me with that. I hated walking on eggshells.


And I don't think folks are leaving because of the new moderation of result of, I think they are leaving because we are getting thinly veiled adds shoved down our throats, I wish someone would ask us what we think of those "reviews" that take up half the page!

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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#207 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 07:19 PM
 
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I also want to say that I'm very happy that we are having this conversation, and happy with the tone as well. It's a great example of how folks can disagree and still act properly.

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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#208 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 07:21 PM
 
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I voted other because I wasn't even aware that there have been changes in moderation on MDC.  I liked it way back when I started here when it felt a little smaller and people seemed to be thinking of the natural parenting thing.  I loved that I could come here and lean about Kool-aid dying wool and then read a post about how we should consider whether we want to support the Kool-aid industry and stuff like that.  I liked that comments on the boards sparked the racism training sessions from years back.  And I didn't feel the place was unwelcome.  I always supported anyone coming here to learn and post.  I thought everyone deserved to be treated with respect.  

 

More recently I haven't seen the snark but I did see a thread a while back (maybe 6 months ago) that was recommending that a mom spank her kid.  I was saddened to see that parents are allowed to give advice to spank a child on this website.  I even flagged the post and it didn't go away or get addressed.  Come to think of it I don't think I've been back to GD since.  I LOVED it when I, as a non-punitive fairly UP parent was a moderate in that forum.  

 

In my DDC, however, everyone was super great!  We didn't all make the same choices but I loved that it was still a place where we assumed that homebirth was an option, breasfeeding was the goal, cloth diapering was a good choice and thoughtful parenting was respected.  

 

I guess I'm on the side of I'd be OK with heavy moderation of that was the best way to keep MDC a place that is reflects the values of the magazine.  

 

ETA: is this a matter of less moderation or are the guidelines changed?  If it's just moderation what are members to do when guidelines are ignored like in the case of hitting in the GD forum?  

 

 


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#209 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 07:22 PM
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I'm for less moderation and less censorship.  I'm often afraid to post my thoughts.  

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#210 of 612 Old 06-16-2011, 07:34 PM
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Another thought - stop deleting or removing threads.  Really.  At all.  EVER.  

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